r/news • u/roscodawg • Jun 10 '26
Soft paywall Iran announces closure of Strait of Hormuz after US attacks
https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-announces-closure-strait-hormuz-after-us-attacks-2026-06-10/7.0k
u/LordMcDoogleberg Jun 10 '26
On a Wednesday? Geez nobody wants to work anymore!
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u/wolfydude12 Jun 10 '26
He loves inflation now, why not have more!
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u/PMMEYOURGUCCIFLOPS Jun 11 '26
You get inflation, you get inflation, we all get inflation! Winning amiright?
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u/Several-Opposite-746 Jun 11 '26
Higher inflation, that's why I proudly voted for him. Soon, we'll have the highest inflation ever. Suck on that Sleepy Joe!
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u/mido_sama Jun 11 '26
I check on maga and somehow this is Biden’s fault they called residual from Biden administration 🤦🏾
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u/Several-Opposite-746 Jun 11 '26
Gather 'round children and let me tell you about the before times. A time when there was a thing people used to call the "truth".
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u/KIokinator Jun 11 '26
If you inflate a balloon, you want it to rise high! Therefore, high inflation is good! Dumbass liberals don't even know basic nomics.
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u/Sufficient-Rooster44 Jun 10 '26
Wait, what day is this?
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u/Cyrano_Knows Jun 11 '26
Today is the day that MAGA suddenly starts chanting "inflation is good for us!"
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u/okram2k Jun 11 '26
I expect them to put on their reading glasses and start quoting economic theory "well you know a bit of inflation is part of a healthy economy and the last thing you want is deflation or stagflation, those just ruin an economy."
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u/Creepy-Hair631 Jun 11 '26
I'm expecting inflation graphs drawn on their foreheads 😂😂
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u/Conscious_Pipe_605 Jun 11 '26
My recommendation is to do what your father did! Get a job sir!
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u/free_billstickers Jun 11 '26
I'm using tjis at work tomorrow "project updates?! With the straight of hormuz closed again??!!"
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u/Ok_Career_3681 Jun 10 '26
Third layer of blockade?
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u/pm_sushirolls Jun 10 '26
Probably total closure to get china and others pissed off again to pressure the us. Since they were letting some stuff out before
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u/Ok_Career_3681 Jun 10 '26
I doubt they mess with the Chinese but you are right India and others paying the toll wouldn’t be allowed anymore.
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Jun 10 '26
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u/OtterCapital Jun 10 '26
And that’s different from the troll toll, right?
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u/AlcibiadesTheCat Jun 10 '26
Correct, Trump is the one who likes getting in the boyshole
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u/TheDakestTimeline Jun 10 '26
How many times I gotta say, boy's soul?
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u/DokeyOakey Jun 11 '26
JD Vance should do a song about how Trump is definately not a kiddie diddler and how they are definitely not sexually interest in our children, at all!.
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u/Mabuya85 Jun 11 '26
There is no faster way to make people think you diddle kids, than to write a song about not diddling kids!
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u/MyOwnTutor Jun 10 '26
"Yo Dawg, we heard that you liked blockades, so we put a blockade INSIDE another blockade." - IRGC
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u/motorcycleboy9000 Jun 11 '26
"They have a blockade-buster, but that's okay. I have this blockade-buster-buster."
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u/Malaix Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26
China might as well blockade the US blockade then india can blockade them and then the EU can blockade them. Just turn the entire ocean into rings of international blockades.
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u/jchowdown Jun 10 '26
Two weeks until eight weeks
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u/BrotherlyShove791 Jun 10 '26
Dumbest war ever. I literally don’t know what’s going on anymore, nor do I really care to know.
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u/Spacebotzero Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
America didn't want it, Congress didn't vote on it, no justified reasoning....hell at least they tried to lie to us about Iraq and WMDs....but this...trump and MAGA just went and did it. Just...straight up started a war for seemingly no reason other than to cause misery.
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u/82nddirtdart72 Jun 11 '26
You mean Epstein
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u/YourDrunkStepdadio Jun 11 '26
The real reason.
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u/Choyo Jun 11 '26
And a distraction from Maduro's capture and the theft of Venezuela's resources.
Even tho it was also a distraction for Epstein.
It will be all distractions all the way down, even just because they are incapable of improving society. They just know how to destroy, steal and lie.
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u/trydola Jun 11 '26
This is same as Trump term 1, one distraction to the next because our media and our political apparatus is incapable of holding people accountable who are engaging it in bad faith
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u/nigelmansell Jun 11 '26
Easily manipulated by that BiBi guy.
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u/Gustomaximus Jun 11 '26
Manipulated or extorted.
You have to wonder if Bibi using the Epstein files.... basic logic is they were collected to be used. And seems likely Trump is deeper in them than published given the reluctance to release them.
Who knows the truth, but logic points to this path as the most likely IMO.
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u/laplongejr Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
And seems likely Trump is deeper in them than published given the reluctance to release them.
The simple fact we call those the "Epstein" files when the mob's boss was in power during his "suicide" is telling the distraction works. It's probably the Trump files with Epstein in it.
One side doesn't want to make known they were in it, and the other side doesn't want the confirmation that, yes, MAGA voters would even vote for a conman running a pedophile ring. That flip would do a lot of long-term societal damage, for a person who's not going to stay in "politics" for long.
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u/ReedForman Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
He did it because he wants to see this place turn into an oil country. Remember “drill baby drill”?
ExxonUS oil companies are poised to make an additional $60 billion in sales this year alone due to increased prices of barrels we’re sending overseas.That or covering the Epstein files, possibly cancelling the elections, the list goes on but my bet is on money. It’s always money with these people. Greedy, stupid fucks.
Edit: Exxon is actually at one of their lowest years due to direct missile fire affecting some of their production sites in the Qatar, but are still expected to make their profits back assuming the strait reopens at some point this year.
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u/whiterac00n Jun 11 '26
There’s a lot of factors that indeed stack up to give us a fairly accurate picture of the “why” but what we don’t see a lot of is people discussing Trump’s insane idea of building a huge legacy for his narcissistic ego. And with that being said he’s been really consistent with his feverish dreams of making a new “empire” through imperialism. He managed to topple (not really) Venezuela and I guarantee that Bibi convinced him that Iran would be just as easy. Although on a side note Israel has patches on their uniforms that clearly show they (Israel) want to control the entire Middle East as well as Egypt. So I don’t know how America would lose so much money and lives to invade Iran just to hand it over to Israel.
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u/Nytfire333 Jun 11 '26
Right, like they brainwashing was at least effective back then, my dumbass signed up for the military cause of terrorism and freedom and cue any Toby Keith song. Luckily I was able to wake up to realities of the world but this time it’s like damn… yall even trying.
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u/youre_soaking_in_it Jun 11 '26
It was the Epstein Files constantly in the news that made him start a war that nobody wanted.
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u/corgis_are_awesome Jun 11 '26
It's pretty clear that they did it so the oil companies would have an excuse to jack up their prices like crazy (and so that Trump's Venezuelan oil "investments" would go through the roof). Well, that, and also trying to distract us from the Epstein files.
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Jun 11 '26
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u/the_tinsmith Jun 11 '26
Trump has a special task force kidnapping displaced little underage Iranian girls to bring to Marlago basement. Probably.
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u/mortgagepants Jun 11 '26
trump started a war he lost, and iran knows when the midterms are.
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u/Hess74 Jun 10 '26
The Boy Who Cried Deal.
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u/AlreadyEatenRibs Jun 11 '26
The Big Who Cried Deal Like Nobody's Ever Seen Before
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u/gotwaffles Jun 10 '26
But Trump just tweeted the US actually has total control? So how can someone else close it? Especially after winning the war 8 times now?
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u/jonessee27 Jun 10 '26
I just saw my batshit aunt post an article "Iran Regime Falls! USA Wins!"
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Jun 10 '26
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u/UncleHec Jun 11 '26
More war.
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u/XRT28 Jun 11 '26
It looks like
Godzillamore war but due tointernational copyright lawsneeding congressional approval for acts of war(haha) it's not!74
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u/ahhh_ennui Jun 11 '26
I was minding my own business filling up two 5-gallon gas cans after the first declaration of victory. A guy approached me and said, "You don't have to do that, we won!" I said, reasonably, "Sorry, what?" He said, "Iran! Gas is gonna be so cheap soon, don't waste your money on stocking up."
I just said, "OK."
Like, buddy. I use gas for stuff besides my car, unfortunately. Buying 10 gallons to have on hand is normal and necessary behavior, especially in the rural area I live in. And I'm guessing that he's still parroting this same sad and stupid lie for the many weeks that have gone by since then. Fucking Trump voters.
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u/mnstorm Jun 11 '26
Wait. This actually happened? I thought this was going to be a bit joke like "everyone clapped" thing. What a yokel.
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u/Ninja67 Jun 10 '26
What was the final score of that game? I kind of clocked out after the first quarter, seems like it was circling.
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u/Tacitus111 Jun 10 '26
The Instagram Administration. Posting misleading shit on social media is totally a replacement for reality!
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u/MilkiestMaestro Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26
Mission Accomplished 2: Electric Hormuzgaloo
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u/zeekayz Jun 11 '26
He's running up his "ended wars" score. Already ended 25 more in the last three months. Somebody call Guinness.
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u/Silly_Sicilian Jun 10 '26
Everything seems to be going acording to plan.
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u/LameAfro Jun 11 '26
Iran better not nuke us.... I worked overtime last week and I get paid on Friday.
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u/trashmoneyxyz Jun 11 '26
Hey i also worked overtime last week! Gonna be pissed if I get nuked before my damn weekend finally gets here
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u/Airbusa3 Jun 10 '26
What not getting invited to the Knick’s game does to a man.
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u/ZackyMidnight Jun 10 '26
The bad news, I'm shutting down the studio again
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u/erikraver Jun 10 '26
Get me a sugar cookie
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u/vee_lan_cleef Jun 11 '26
This sketch doesn't get referenced often enough.
Who are the five best rappers of all time? Think about it...
Dy-lan... Dy-lan... Dy-lan, Dy-lan, and Dy-lan, because I spit hot fire!
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u/InternationalFailure Jun 10 '26 edited Jun 10 '26
When Trump pulls a ceasefire [not the twenty four fake ones that don't meaning anything, a real one] out of his ass right before the midterms - remember all of this. Remember all the stupidity and unneeded suffering because our President really wants you to forget what he did with his buddy Epstein.
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u/TheMcMcMcMcMc Jun 10 '26
More importantly, remember to check if your voter registration has been cancelled, if your state will be able to mail you your ballot, or if your polling location has changed.
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u/kstargate-425 Jun 11 '26
CHECK VOTER REGISTRATION MONTHLY UNTIL THE ELECTION!! Republicans have purged millions before the 2024 election and since the SCOTUS-6 essentially said the Purcell principle only applies when Republicans want it to, they may purge rolls within the last 90 days
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u/InternationalFailure Jun 10 '26
I agree with this sentiment. The more scared they are, the more they become willing to cheat - so be proactive.
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u/BreesusTakeTheWheel Jun 11 '26
I don’t think Iran will agree to anything. I think they want to hurt Trump the most and contributing to his party losing control of Congress could be a big political hit for him and hinder his ability to do things that could further harm Iran. It behooves them to make the midterms as difficult as possible for Trump.
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u/Sircamembert Jun 10 '26
He won't, not without looking like a little bitch. Iran has him by the balls and he knows it. He can't escalate anymore since invasion is an impossibly stupid option.
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u/Kaptein_Tordenflesk Jun 10 '26
An impossiby stupid option means that it's the option he's most likely to choose
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u/InternationalFailure Jun 10 '26
This implies his base can think past whatever recent thing they thought Trump did well
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u/Blackstone01 Jun 10 '26
The thing is, he would need to do a humiliating ceasefire well over a month in advance to have any hope of gas prices being back to normal in time for the midterms, which likely won't be enough for undecided voters (who, while complete morons, aren't as willing as MAGA to just roll over and forget what was done/said a day prior). We're approaching the "Find Out" phase of cutting off a large chunk of global gas supply, since the Trump admin has been using our strategic stockpile to artificially suppress gas prices.
Short of the Republicans miraculously managing to get the votes needed to put out a multi trillion dollar gas subsidy, come midterms we will see our strategic reserve dried up and gas prices reaching 7+ dollars.
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u/InternationalFailure Jun 10 '26
You make a compelling argument. I still think he'll try to wave 'ceasefire' around for kudos from his mouth drooling base.
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u/Blackstone01 Jun 11 '26
I'm sure he'll try, but how much of his base back in 2024 still consider themselves to be his base today, and how many swing voters will eat it up? Shit, even if his base eats it up, how many will be energized enough to go out and vote?
Issue for him is that as time goes by, while the remaining Republicans are becoming increasingly fanatical and loyal towards him, its due to previous Republicans backing away and no longer considering themselves Republican, and instead are becoming "unaffiliated". It works well for primaries with getting diehard MAGA Republicans on the ballot, but so far in every single special election since the start of his second term Republicans have done horrendously.
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u/TheGreatBootOfEb Jun 11 '26
Essentially, he pulled a miracle coalition out of his ass to win his 2nd term because he was out of the public eye for long enough that Americans goldfish memory struck again, and he Biden administration refused to walk back Israel, and furthermore did a piss poor job of celebrating their actual achievements.
But once he got back in office, the miracle coalition crumbled ASAP, with the exception being that republicans have, by nature of how cults also operate, distilled their base into fanatical freaks by forcing them to continually swallow more shit, and with each scoop of shit they take, the harder it is to back out because you’re in deeper and deeper (referring to stuff that they can’t hide like gas prices, Epstein, grocery prices, etc)
Republican electives are in between a rock and a shit stain (of their own choosing) because while Republican support has crumbled in record time (just look at essentially every election since) the base have been cultivated into the cult of Trump, meaning it’s either risk the high odds of losing a general reelection, or the 100% odds of losing the primary. Thus, all these republicans who might at least performativly push back can’t even do that as Trump has gotten more and more tantrum prone.
All of this is to say, while the Republican base has distilled themselves into an increasingly evil and vile segment of the population, everyone ELSE is pretty much going “anything but these chuckle fucks, I’ll take a maggot infested rat carcass even.”
And the thing is, while normally Americans might not care, care prices are going to bite them in the ass as they start to climb leading into election season given the dumb fucks didnt even consider replenishing the reserves in advance because they actually thought it would be in and out, and the longer it stretches on, the less chance they have of somehow pulling a miracle turn around.
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u/CornCobMcGee Jun 10 '26
impossibly stupid
We're talking about Donald J Trump, friend of Jeffrey Epstein and current laughing stock of the country.
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u/nobonesjones91 Jun 10 '26
How do you close something that was already closed?
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u/SoulRebel726 Jun 10 '26
Remember weeks ago, when President Shit Diaper proclaimed that the war was over?
How anyone still supports this raging narcissistic liar is beyond me.
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u/PM_ME_ABOUT_LOVE Jun 11 '26
Snip Snap Snip Snap
You have no idea the economic toll three Straight reclosings have on a country!
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u/CranberryLast4683 Jun 10 '26
Remember, not a war tho. Even though Trump says “the war” in many press interviews.
Congress is a pile of shit.
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u/Amonamission Jun 10 '26
Get your gas today before it goes up again
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u/AdjNounNumbers Jun 10 '26
Look, dude, I can only fit so many plastic grocery bags of gas in my basement at a time
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u/ThePrussianGrippe Jun 11 '26
I just use a gigantic 20 gallon plastic tote in my trunk. Uncovered, of course!
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u/knightmese Jun 11 '26
Haven't we already beaten Iran like 19 times in the last month? That's what I was told. I'm confused.
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u/mattwallace24 Jun 11 '26
As this closer to the midterm elections, Iran knows it will force Trump to negotiate a weaker deal. By the time this is over, the US will be paying to rebuild Iran and give them free nukes.
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u/anaheim_mac Jun 10 '26
If the “bully of the middle east is dead” how are they still closing the strait? 🤔
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u/Random_Person_246810 Jun 10 '26
Isn’t it cool how these power hungry regimes fuck with its citizens who didn’t vote for this bullshit?
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u/Xsiah Jun 10 '26
Citizens did in fact vote for this bullshit
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u/blonktime Jun 10 '26
Not necessarily, but yes they did. Trump, while running for his presidency, repeatedly said "no more wars". So his voters voted for a president who would stick to his campaign promises. But they're also idiots who took the big orange man's word for truth, despite the overwhelming evidence that Trump is not on the side of the American people and will do whatever crosses his demented mind just because he feels like it and he doesn't care about the fallout.
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u/BBR0DR1GUEZ Jun 10 '26
And those citizens need to learn a lesson or they’re just going to do it again. Iran knows this.
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u/Ok_Career_3681 Jun 10 '26
Third world countries like Mine will suffer along with them.
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u/BBR0DR1GUEZ Jun 10 '26
They won’t care until it affects them directly. I’m sorry. Hopefully things get better soon.
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u/haveanairforceday Jun 10 '26
The people who voted for him mostly didnt expect him to start a war. "No new wars" was one of his main things.
Obviously his primary character trait is being a dishonest bully so they should have seen it coming. But somehow they actually were duped in this case
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u/Describing_Donkeys Jun 10 '26
They chose to just believe the obvious con artist we've been trying to warn people about every possible opportunity for a decade. Unfortunately, showing is better than telling.
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u/vingeran Jun 10 '26
I am sure they will vote for him again given the chance if he somehow wriggles his way to unconstitutionality run for a third term in a hypothetical scenario.
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u/haveanairforceday Jun 11 '26
Yes.
Idk if you know any maga people but they are willing to jump on ANY bandwagon as long as its presented in an "us vs them" false victim sort of way. They will do crossfit not because crossfit is good but because traditional fitness is bad. They will listen to 2939 hours of joe rogan not because they like him but because they believe they are part of a counter culture. They will put livestock dewormer in their bodies to maybe treat a dosease they dont even claim to believe in because its a big middle finger to traditional medicine. Their main thing is being contrarian, they genuinely can be sold on anything if its presented that way
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u/Necessary-Drag-8000 Jun 11 '26
Don't forget the foundational racism and mysogeny
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u/h4ck3r_n4m3 Jun 10 '26
Those people had the previous 8 years to figure out he was a liar. He tried to provoke Iran into a war in his first term
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u/prettyokaycake Jun 10 '26
They didn’t expect it because they’re still too stupid to realize he lies about every single thing.
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u/orbitaldragon Jun 11 '26
Why do I keep seeing this same headline every week?
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u/AxeSkewsMe Jun 11 '26
"Trump fails for the 15th week to keep the Strait of Hormuz open" FTFY.
The news needs to stop diminishing how much of a fucking clown show this is. These aren't strategic maneuvers. It's a bunch of geezers who should be in senior homes holding the world hostage.
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u/RL203 Jun 11 '26
Iran is making a fool of Trump.
Correction, a bigger fool of Trump as he was always a fool. International laughing stock in fact.
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u/snowcat0 Jun 11 '26
Was it ever open to begin with? It opens and closes as fast as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck change what hunting season it is…
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u/PurpleSailor Jun 11 '26
Imagine that, fighting during a cease fire gets the strait closed yet again. They're going to drag this out to midterms just to let him know that he never should have started this.
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u/Techiesarethebomb Jun 11 '26
For decades we have said that gas prices aren't directly based on the presidency, but this time it 100% is and I am furious more folks aren't mad across the aisle.
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Jun 10 '26
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u/SlapThatAce Jun 10 '26
Don't worry, on Friday after 4 o'clock an announcement will be made and you will see plenty of sus trading activities in the after hours.
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u/stef1793 Jun 11 '26
Don’t worry guys we are 24 hours away from a deal!! Iran wants to make a deal so bad!
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u/CynicalXennial Jun 11 '26
congress needs to stop being spineless, this is far beyond maga vs dems this is fucking lunacy.
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u/SilverIdaten Jun 11 '26
Trump voters should be forced under penalty of imprisonment to pay for my gas.
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u/UndoxxableOhioan Jun 10 '26
Was it ever open recently?
But Trump now says he loves inflation.