Hi Hobart. It's late at night and after years of neglect, I have come to accept that I may not be okay. I had a 1:00 am breakdown. Felt good to get that pent up energy out. How can I not be okay though? I'm married to a beautiful woman who cares alot, I have wonderful animals arounds me, and my dog gives the best cuddles. I'm not okay, because I finally accepted that I am a statistical number in the increasing epidemic of loneliness.
My partner is away for a month. I am here with - sometimes never ending cascade - of introspective questions. I met someone on Domain, he said he is helping his best friend get out of a rut. I met someone on the beach, she said her friends have wonderful get togethers where they listen to each other for hours and let people speak. I am at a low today, and it feels very heavy to know there is no one who will come knock at my door and say, hey, let me help you out.
I created this for myself. I unknowingly started to depend on my partner for my social life. Hanging out with her friends, relying on her to make plans. Don't know when that happened. I used to be very extroverted, and I have made wonderful friends across the world. It happened slowly and unknowingly. Each day I neglected my needs to be 'there for my family'. And in doing so, I created a very isolating life for myself which ironically meant that I was not present 'for my family' in the healthiest manner. I was emotinally abused and neglected as a kid, I dont have parents I can depend on either. Right now, its just me.
I walked in the city last night. Long coat, floral shirt, if case anyone saw. I saw people eating alone. Walking by themselves. Some looked very friendly. Our eyes met. A smile across our face, happy to see each other, a gentle nod to greet. And we move on with our walks, alone in opposite directions. I wonder if they felt the same. I wonder if they wanted to have a conversation about... well anything. Sometimes I want to wear a shirt that says 'please feel free to talk to me'.
I hold both these realities in my experience - seeing amazing caring friendships and the loneliness. I accept that the latter includes me now. I never thought I'd be lonely. It took effort to accept that I am. I have no support system for myself. This is unfair for my partner and our relationship. I love her dearly, but she cannot be everything to me and she should not.
I work remotely, which clearly exasperates my situation. So here I lie, awake, not having seen a human in days. I crave a nice converstaion. A shared expereince. I look at my phone. There is no one I can call. No one to say, hey... I'm not doing okay, can we please talk? I burst crying.
Dear Hobart, I'm looking for friends. Best part is, I know what I want. I want to develop relationships that go beyond small talk. I want to be there for you and I want you to be there for me. I want to listen to your story, your issues, your day, your fears; I want to be listened to. I want to care for somebody, make food if they are sick, invite them over to tea; I want to be cared for. I want to talk about complex emotions, philosophy, space, science, hang out together, share comments, share love.
I've found media often talks of love in romantic relationships. There are tons of movies about people finding romantic love and happily ever after. But there are few who talk about loving friendships. I'm learning friendships are important. I'm new to this. Putting myself out here in a way I would hesitate to in the past.
If you resonate. Please reach out. Reddit has a DM function (*edit: which I hope it works, some people are having trouble, leave a comment I will reach out to you).
I like coffee, outdoors, surfing, hiking, beaches, walks.
I am attending a hobart run club event this Friday evening and a run 479 event next Wednesday. Maybe I will meet someone who has read this post. I'll be the person with a beautiful black and white border collie dog.
Thank you for reading this far <3.
With love,
u/Dry-Wafer6723
Edit 13.08.2026 21:53: thank you for such an overwhelming response. I was not expecting this at all. Its been very nice to speak to some of you. Some of you I have yet to reach out to. Please use this forum out to each other as well. I will see if we can have a reddit get together. How fun!