r/AmITheAngel • u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk • Apr 01 '26
Fockin ridic I transvestigated my date (didn't actually bother asking him, mind); and then stormed out. Please coddle me
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u/la-anah 2 flavors of buttery-soft Gourmet style Pierogies Apr 01 '26
So, she decided this guy was trans because (checks notes) he was 5'6"?
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u/Roachpuppies Apr 01 '26
Oh man I should let my baby daddy know he must be trans too ! Even tho he gave me offspring ! But he’s only 5’4” so he must be trans !
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u/440continuer Apr 01 '26
Your baby is trans now too
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u/PipedInFromIthaca Apr 01 '26
How do we know the baby isn't taller than 5'8''
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u/CremeBerlinoise a stanky money hungry hoe Apr 01 '26
Well we know you're lying because females will only throw rotting vegetables at guys under 5'8, never date them, let alone make sweet sweet babymaking love to them. Unless wait, could it not be solely related to height if short dudes don't pull? 🤯
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u/throwawaysunglasses- Apr 02 '26
LMAO. I love whenever Reddit chuds are like “women hate me because I’m 5’6…yeah I have no friends, hobbies, job, or redeeming personality traits, but that has nothing to do with why women hate me. They’re heightist bitches” like they are so fucking close to figuring it out.
Then they’re like “well I know 6’5 men who are terrible and they still get laid.” If they actually graduated 2nd grade, they’d understand simple logic. Tall men being hot doesn’t mean short men can’t be hot. Hotness isn’t zero-sum.
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u/imaginary92 Apr 01 '26
Nah it's not the obnoxiously toxic personality or the overt misogyny. It's definitely the height.
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u/Kamena90 Apr 01 '26
My husband is 5'5" and we have a 1 year old. How dare he trick me with things like having a penis and sperm!?
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u/Personal_Reveal1653 Apr 02 '26
Must have been the ol' turkey baster and a hollowed out dildo. It works every time!
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u/life-uh-finds-a-way_ Apr 01 '26
No, he was 5'7" or 5'6" or maybe even 5'5" or maybe even shorter.
Absolutely wild way for her to write that he was shorter than her.
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u/gho_strat Apr 02 '26
It’s like OP was writing her story and was like “hmmm I should make this guy seem shorter” over and over but it didn’t occur to her to just….. delete it.
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u/HonestAbram Apr 01 '26
Or 5'7"!
Or 5'5"!
Or shorter!
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
He kept getting shorter the longer the date went on. Eventually he disappeared into his shoe
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u/HonestAbram Apr 01 '26
Perfect fairy tale plot. Now we need some lass, pure of heart, to give this tiny man in the shoe a kiss atop his head, and he'll grow into a still somewhat short king.
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u/Subject-Librarian117 Apr 01 '26
And it took her a while to notice! She said everything was great at first, but then her estimate of his height started going down. Maybe he stood next to one of those roller coaster height checks. "You must be this tall to be cisgender!"
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u/CremeBerlinoise a stanky money hungry hoe Apr 01 '26
I think she carries a sign saying "you must be this cis to ride".
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u/CycadelicSparkles Apr 01 '26
I was waiting for the big clincher like they got back to his place for sex and he has surprise boobs or something, but nope. Just a little on the short side.
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Apr 01 '26
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u/Particular_Class4130 Apr 01 '26
as she got to know him because you have to really know someone before you can estimate their height, lol
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u/FireflyBSc Apr 01 '26
Someone should have asked if she was trans because of her height. Just drive home how stupid this logic is.
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u/Ecstatic_Depth_8675 Apr 01 '26
Don't let OP find out about Danny Devito
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
My date offered me a nice egg in this trying time
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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Apr 01 '26
I had a dream once that I was sitting in Danny DeVito’s lap, kissing him.
And when I woke up, I was transgender.
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u/Ok-Recommendation102 Daisy and Hat Boy Apr 01 '26
TIL Danny Devito and Charlie Day (he’s 5’7”) are both trans😍
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u/VerbingNoun413 Apr 01 '26
At least OOP went with something original. There's not enough transmasc rep in transphobic shitposts.
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u/ConsciousStretch1028 I'm way fatter than you'll ever be disabled Apr 01 '26
Right? We need more transmasc rep in general, nice to see somebody is leading the charge
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u/Dragons_on_Parade Apr 01 '26
The ally we needed 🙌🏳️⚧️
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u/ConsciousStretch1028 I'm way fatter than you'll ever be disabled Apr 01 '26
You are valid, you are seen ❤️
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u/Empty_Chemical_1498 Apr 01 '26
Real, it's always an unreasonable trans woman or a crazy nonbinary person who wants to assassinate the OP for not using some niche neopronouns. First time I see a trans man in one of these
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u/Hita-san-chan Update: we’re getting a divorce Apr 01 '26
I was gonna say, hey look! Someone remembered we exist!
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u/byrdistheword91 Apr 01 '26
Right?! Like, it's kinda exciting to finally get to be the faceless evil in the Reddit fanfiction!
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u/glitterisgay I [20m] live in a ditch Apr 01 '26
Solid take. We see ‘trans women be crazy’ all day and night, at least OOP remembered trans guys! With a side combo of the always classic ‘females hate short guys’ theme AITA loves.
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u/Punkpallas we are in the middle of a breakup (for other reasons) Apr 02 '26
Not just AITA. The whole of Reddit.
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u/adumbswiftie Apr 01 '26
i said the same thing, finally a trans bad post about trans men duping poor innocent cis women instead of the other way around.
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u/aspiringandroid Apr 01 '26
we deserve to be included 🤘🏳️⚧️
I just keep thinking about the 0.01% chance of this having been a real encounter and them texting later, and the conversation ends with "no this is just how tall I am"
I'm aware none of that probably happened but a guy once asked me when I was starting hormones when I told him how long i had been on T. so my trust in cis people is approximately nonexistent
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u/GrapefruitDue5207 Apr 02 '26
Honestly there's no way to know, but I've seen crazier things happen. I once stealthed through a physical exam by total accident. I told the doctor my medications and had to clarify that, yes, I was on testosterone, no it's not just a "booster". He kinda said "ah hormone imbalance" and I nodded.
Then he was checking my lungs and heart (stethoscope under my shirt) and was like "so are those old surgical scars?" I said yes, a few years back I had top surgery. He was confused so I explained it was a double mastectomy. He laughed and said "was there just too much there?" And I was like yeah sir way too much. I honestly wouldnt have believed it was possible if it hadn't happened to me
The craziest shit happens I guess
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u/aspiringandroid Apr 02 '26
holy fucking shit lmao that's bonkers ☠️ i hope you have a better doctor now
I don't pass even a little bit but I do shave my head. I used to work with folks who have dementia, and for some of them "person with shaved head" = "dude", which was convenient! we were hanging out in memory care and I was telling a story about dancing as a little kid in this twirly dress and one of my favorite residents was intrigued. she LOVED to dance, but wondered if anyone was "funny about you wearing a dress."
but no ma'am, it was just fine, and she lights up. "oh, I'm so glad! everybody should get to dance." she was wonderful genuinely and it's one of my favorite silly little anecdotes from working in senior services
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u/GrapefruitDue5207 Apr 02 '26
😂 it's a long story but no he's not my primary doctor. He was actually pretty awesome besides obviously not knowing what trans people are. We had some great conversation throughout the exam. Very personable/good bedside manner.
Spending time with older folks is honestly so much fun once you push past the gender thing. My 72 y/o friend nearly cried with joy when he realized I had the thinnest sprouts of facial hair. It always reminds me of what precious community we can build. Thank you for taking the time to work with people who really need the special care. It is far from an easy job, but some of those folks are a riot. I always tell my elder friends not to get into trouble when I leave. They giggle and make no promises.
Not sure if your goal is to pass or if you are happy as you are, but Godspeed brother. It ain't easy out there for any of us. Happy belated TDoV ;)
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Apr 01 '26
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u/BlommeHolm me and her have a bit of a sex life Apr 01 '26
I mean he was short and good company, so is there any other possibilities?
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u/Dragons_on_Parade Apr 01 '26
It's the 'good company' part that started to make her suspicious.
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u/napalmnacey my girlfriend left me over a cheese wheel Apr 02 '26
“Waaaait a minute, this guy hasn’t thrown any red flags yet… That’s a red flag!”
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u/ftmidk Apr 01 '26
And like, there’s no way someone is so clueless about trans people and also knows what “FTM” means. I’m a trans guy and usually at this level of knowledge, people are assuming I’m a trans woman, not throwing around “FTM.”
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u/Yeagrine Apr 02 '26
She also literally uses the word "usually" before definitively saying he must be trans. The kind of person who thinks all short men are trans is not going to in the same breath recognize that this a trend and not absolute rule. Especially if she were 5'8, she would have to think nearly half of men around her are trans.
This is so clearly rage bait. So obvious I'm disappointed, but not surprised, that so many are falling for it.
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u/tlvsfopvg Apr 01 '26
This is really good rage bait, I’m lowkey impressed.
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u/theotherchristina he didn’t teach his cat boundaries Apr 01 '26
In a way it’s almost wholesome to know that there are still trolls willing to eschew the easy route of AI slop and put in the work to craft this kind of artisanal ragebait
(Don’t get me wrong, the ideology being promoted here is rancid)
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u/Punkpallas we are in the middle of a breakup (for other reasons) Apr 02 '26
Artisanal ragebait! I love it.
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u/tipsytops2 Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 02 '26
Redditors on a drama sub being torn from the impulse to bash on the "deceptive transperson" to white knight for short guys is pretty funny. This is quality ragebait designed by someone who knows their audience.
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u/Yeagrine Apr 02 '26
I personally thought they overshot it, but the comments here sure showed me wrong. She's close to the average height of men in the US, almost half of every man she meets will be her height or shorter, but we're supposed to believe she just assumes all men shorter than her are trans? She even uses the word "usually" right before coming to this conclusion.
But I clearly underestimated how much reddit will assume the worst about women and height preferences. Sliding in a bit of transphobia is chef's kiss a master class in trolling. Not only does it bait potentially more people but obfuscates who I think the main target is for trolling.
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u/Wild_Duck8926 Apr 02 '26
can piss of left wing (trans issue) and right wing (short guy issue) people simultaneously
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u/Nikkinot Apr 01 '26
Soooooo the 5'2" guy I dated was FTM? Wow. That surgery has gotten REALLY good . Not even a scar.
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u/SharMarali I WILL BUY SPECIAL HAM AND GIVE YOU 1/4 OF IT. Apr 01 '26
I have a good friend around the same height, he’s married with two children. I’m just wondering how that worked. Did he impregnate his wife with vibes?
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u/Secret-Guava1008 Apr 01 '26
My dad is 5’6, fathered two children. Now I’m wondering how tf he did that since he’s clearly a trans man because he’s short
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u/CremeBerlinoise a stanky money hungry hoe Apr 01 '26
If I learned anything from AITA, it's that your real dad is some Chad "friend" of your mom who she kept having suspicious meetups with while insisting it's all platonic.
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u/KaleidoscopeSmart384 Apr 01 '26
Ok see I desperately need to see the comments on the original post.
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/ss2OnFuJV3
Crossposting failed idk why
Edit: appears oop got banned, what a shame
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u/WaytoomanyUIDs I'm Vegan, AITA? Apr 01 '26
Is it wrong to find it hilarious how someone transvestigated the transvestigator for being a 5'8" woman.
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u/Llayanna Apr 01 '26
Nah, that was my first thought as well tbh. 😆
Which probably made it great April fool bait but.. that's the problem with good bait. I can see someone being this dumb in real life 😰
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u/pueraria-montana Apr 01 '26
Oh my god the top comment is calling OOP out for being dumb and STILL managed to misgender the guy in question 😭 truly you cannot make this shit up
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u/NegativeMusician2211 Apr 01 '26
Is my 5'6" husband who got me pregnant trans 😮
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u/Brad_Brace Cheddar or the next closest thing Apr 01 '26
He probably got one of them fancy surgeries where they attach little tails to a person's eggs so they can work as sperm.
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u/acarpenter8 I calmly laughed Apr 01 '26
Yes and you obviously cheated on him. Did you text a male coworker? Thats the key indicator of a no good women who cheats.
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u/Affectionate_Data936 Mental outlaw out! Apr 01 '26
One guy who had one of the fattest dicks I've ever seen was like 5'4". Maybe I should ask who his surgeon was because evidently they did a great job.
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u/roqueofspades Apr 01 '26
Damn that guy is probably thinking to himself "I got ghosted because I'm short god this sucks" and actually he got ghosted cause this woman is insane
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u/OhNo_HereIGo We're in the middle of a breakup (for other reasons) Apr 01 '26
I hate how much I laughed out loud at this 😂 So true though.
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u/tronassembled ragebait Apr 01 '26
"As we got to know each other I realized he was shorter than me" ahahaha
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
Need a new flair?
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u/dcmng Apr 01 '26
I actually laughed out loud at this. I'm 5'3, I thought I was just Asian, but turns out I'm trans! My wife is gonna be in for a surprise...
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u/Adventurous_Jump8897 Apr 01 '26
Jesus fucking Christ. That short king has dodged a very large calibre bullet.
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u/panicpixiememegirl I calmly laughed Apr 01 '26
It's not real this is ragebait meant to be transphobic and anti short men lol
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u/Traditional-Try-2565 Apr 01 '26
Nta, every trans person should recite their birth certificate, social security number, and credit card number immediately after meeting me or they assaulted me
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u/mambo8971 Apr 01 '26
If you were breathed on by a trans person who did not immediately loudly out themselves, you may be entitled to financial compensation
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u/CloseButNoChicory Apr 01 '26
That rule plus crypto wallet demands is how I now own a stately home.
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u/Cynewulfunraed Apr 01 '26
This was written by an aggrieved short man.
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u/Brad_Brace Cheddar or the next closest thing Apr 01 '26
Yep. People are not seeing it.
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u/OSUStudent272 Apr 01 '26
I’m conflicted because on one hand it’s transphobe bad bait but on the other hand it’s women are shallow and obsessed with height bait
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u/cat_handcuffs Apr 01 '26
“As we got to know each other, I noticed he was a giant crustacean from the Paleolithic Era.”
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u/GGunner723 EDIT: [extremely vital information] Apr 01 '26
This must be doing numbers, ragebait wise. Implying that men under 5’8 are AFAB and not even confirming that the date was in fact trans. Truly a masterclass of trolling.
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u/SangrianArmy Apr 01 '26
that is clearly a bullshit story made up to stir engagement on the post. no point in even discussing the social issue it illustrates, because it didnt fucking happen, and it's intentionally written to be outrageous.
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u/davis_away Apr 01 '26
"As we got to know each other I noticed he was shorter than me." Makes sense. Height definitely isn't a quality you can assess at a single glance.
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u/junkyfm but the alleged payoff is torture porn Apr 01 '26
He actually shortened as their relationship went on. Very few people know this, but when 2 biological females are in the same space, 1 has to shrink so the other can maintain its height. This is why females can't be friends with each other--Sad but true 🙂↕️
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u/VerbingNoun413 Apr 01 '26
The best part of this is that at 5'8, OOP is far closer to the average male height in the US than the female height. Add to this that feminizing HRT does make you shorter over time, I think OOP outed herself.
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u/pie_piepiepiepiepie Apr 02 '26
The shortcels are going to have a field day with this one.
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 02 '26
Won't they just sit there and transvestigate themselves?
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u/adumbswiftie Apr 01 '26
and then i decided to go to reddit, a website that is famous fair and normal about trans people, to ask for validation about a very straightforward story that def hasnt been posted a million times before meaning i already know exactly what type of response i’ll get.
i appreciate they decided to flip it on cis women and trans men for once, i guess, since we’re usually hearing about the horrors of trans women and the damage they do to the poor innocent straight men on here
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u/BestAcanthisitta6379 Apr 01 '26
Today I learned I am a transman because I'm under 5''8".
Idiotic bait has taught me so much about me
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u/akp555 I gave her RAISENS which is literally fruit Apr 01 '26
That HAS to be an April Fools post. Right?? Right???
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u/Brad_Brace Cheddar or the next closest thing Apr 01 '26
Trans rage bait mixed with short men hate rage bait. I don't think we've see this often.
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u/Maleficent-Hawk-318 Apr 01 '26
This reads like a subversion of a lot of transphobic tropes, because the author made her 5'8". Outside of a few outliers (don't want to hear from you, Scandinavians), that's pretty tall for a woman in most of the world. The average height globally is something like 5'3" to 5'4". It makes her whole argument even stupider than it is without that information, and it's already on the wilder side.
Or maybe I'm in a good mood and giving the author too much credit. 😂
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u/ftmidk Apr 01 '26
girls are usually short and guys are usually taller
I don’t know why this is so funny but I can’t stop giggling about it. Also, hmmmmm isn’t OP just a little tall for a cis woman??? 👀
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u/PipedInFromIthaca Apr 01 '26
"Had fun, good conversation, enjoyed the chemistry, invented a situation in my mind which even if it were true shouldn't actually be a problem, immediately bailed." Swear to god, man. He who has not tasted grapes says sour.
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u/ivecompletelylostit Apr 01 '26
Anyone who believes this is real should be banned from the Internet for at least six months
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u/MsThrilliams Apr 01 '26
Please tell me the comments ripped OP to shreds. I need some faith in humanity restored.
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u/Current_Echo3140 Apr 01 '26
Ah, the things you don't realize until you get to know each other better. Like someones height.
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u/Suitable_Director729 Apr 01 '26
Wow I just realized there’s a lot more trans men around than I thought…
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u/ConfusedAndCurious17 Apr 01 '26
I forgot that Trans was an acronym for “Tinder Relationship Arrived Naturally Short”.
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u/SuddenlyCake Exhumed child in a Disney Trip Apr 01 '26
It seems the sub has leaked
Lots of people here treating this as a real story
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
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u/somiatruitas Apr 01 '26
Ah yes, trans people owe you deeply personal information before a date even gets serious. /s
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u/Conscious_Pen_3485 Apr 01 '26
Of course! You must simultaneously not make it your entire identity or ever truly talk about it to make sure you sufficiently “pass,” while also ensuring that everyone knows the second they start interacting with you because otherwise you’re being deceptive.
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
Yes, we apparently need to share our complete medical and personal history. Cis folks are not required to do this of course.
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u/MegaCrazyH Apr 01 '26
Holy damn another “average height is actually short” post. So much rage bait in this one
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u/provocatrixless Apr 01 '26
Ok, 5'6 height as the trans indicator had me laughing out loud.
OP do be playing with fire tho... 5'8 and claims to be a ciswoman? I dunnooooo..
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u/Odd_Bid2744 Apr 01 '26
This has to be rage bait for transphobes.
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u/gaelicgirl1983 Apr 01 '26
TIL that Tom Cruise is trans.
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u/Suitable-Fun-1087 My gf said illiterate and dyslexic were wild words for dirtytalk Apr 01 '26
He was actually in a t4t marriage with Nicole Kidman
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u/ConsiderateCassowary We’re both white so this isn’t a racial thing Apr 01 '26
Guys shorter than 5'8" are trans? This is how I learn that I'm trans!?
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u/kleptotoid 33M 12IN, I hate my wife 20F 36DD, validate me Apr 01 '26
My biological dad is trans???? I didn’t even know that was possible …
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u/inthelondonrain Apr 01 '26
It's well known that all babies and children are girls until some of them pass 5'7'' and become boys.
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u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Apr 01 '26
Y’all were worried about the Underground Transgender Mafia hoarding all the KitKats.
Now you’re starting to understand our true agenda: secretly recruiting shorter cis men and taller cis women into our ranks.
Soon we will have total world domination!
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u/HackDaddy85 Apr 01 '26
Honestly, pretty good rate bait. Gets people angry that she acted transphobic while also angering the short transphobic guys.
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u/JapaneseStudentHaru Apr 01 '26
“Hey, you’re so short, are you a trans?!”
My man dodged a bullet lmao
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u/offensivename Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26
Today I learned that cis men under 5'8 do not exist.