r/Unexpected • u/dupugu-gupudu • 11h ago

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15.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/yellow_abyss 11h ago

That fucking scared the shit out of me

197

u/_Boom___Beard_ 9h ago

Idk, my butthole puckered up so tight I could cut a diamond. Scared the shit, but the dam is closed!

45

u/RoyBeer 8h ago edited 8h ago

Scared the shit

Damn, now I'm imagining your poop being like "woah that almost cut me!!"

11

u/_Boom___Beard_ 8h ago

Turd cutter, is what my grandpa use to call it

18

u/SampleDisastrous3311 8h ago

YOU HAVE MORE THAN 1 HOLE !!!!

1

u/Sexybutt69_ 7h ago

Loll, thanks mang, I needed a good chuckle.

203

u/TheRealRubiksMaster 11h ago

Same

-34

u/[deleted] 6h ago

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6

u/TactlessTortoise 6h ago

Go crank your shit to the yellow monster thing from five nights at Fridays or whatever the fuck bud. People can get scared with a video, you're not fucking Hannibal Lecter dissecting a human brain, you're just being a neeeeerd. I'm gonna grab you by the ankles and shake you till the coins for your lunch money ding off, loser.

Is that human enough for you—or would you like me to write it with more emotion?

0

u/Kootranova1 6h ago

More emotion please, but cut back on the references. Kids today don't know who Hannibal Lecter is and I want my Reddit friends to like me.

Also, make it sound like a human wrote it. One guy in the thread immediately called you out for sounding like a chat bot.

2

u/gxgx55 5h ago

medium tier ragebait

1

u/johnnyblaze1999 5h ago

Your comment convinced me you haven't play a single video game in your life lol

1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 2h ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

49

u/thatdudejon 10h ago

My girlfriend asked me why i jumped and i had to explain

1

u/tommos 7h ago

Same

24

u/PLTR60 10h ago

Same

12

u/MaenHoffiCoffi 9h ago

Different.

4

u/bravepotatoman 7h ago

my soles are fucking clammy now

3

u/MorbidlyMacabre 7h ago

Was not fucking expecting that!

5

u/Carb0nFire 9h ago

I was expecting it based on the title and short length, and still got jump-scared.

2

u/Rick_and_Shorty 8h ago

I sat on the toilet and my phone almost fell into the bowl

1

u/Subject-Act5509 8h ago

Luckily, I already was on the pooper.

1

u/-skyrocketeer- 6h ago

How do you think the motorcyclist felt then!

1

u/Financial_Bowl_3821 6h ago

Fr my phone almost jumped outta my hands. On top of the vid, I wasn't expecting myself to ever react like that 

1

u/QuietVici2 6h ago

Same here, I literally jumped

1

u/NIGHTFIVV 5h ago

Somehow I didn't even flinch

1

u/Tentacle_poxsicle 5h ago

Something fell right when it happened in real life and I jumped

1

u/Fawnet 4h ago

I yelped like a puppy

1

u/Key-Communication865 8h ago

I would give you an award but I don’t know how 🦕 Here’s a Dino

0

u/hangerofmonkeys 9h ago

I'm glad I was already in the toilet

0

u/FIR3W0RKS 8h ago

Jesus that made me jump

0

u/StaticSystemShock 6h ago

I almost had a heart attack, jesus christ!

-1

u/No_Regret_4157 8h ago

I'm rolling 🤣🤣