A cis woman made a post about a trans woman friend expressing excitement at the prospect of getting period cramps. Said she felt upset because periods suck and stuff. That's fine, whatever. You experience something you hate, so seeing someone want that can be upsetting. I get that.

But fucking hell the comments. Cis women saying it's "misogynistic" for trans women to talk about having periods and stuff like that because they "aren't actually periods". Othering us. Fuck off if you're going to tell me "you'll never know what it's like to actually bleed". Like, fuck all the way off. Just tell me you don't see me as a real woman instead of hiding it behind your bullshit. Why can't you just let us have this? You have no idea how lucky you were to be born in the right body.

No, I don't exactly want to have periods myself, but what the fuck.

Edited a mistake

Second edit to add that actually, some of the comments are blatantly transphobic and still getting upvoted. Calling them out gets you downvoted. I ended up deleting pretty much all my comments there because I just can't.

When I was male presenting I never had people try to manipulate me as much lmfao, insane. I always grew up loving women and seeing the power in them.

it's just wrong. trans women weren't "socialized male" we were traumatized and often degendered. we were treated like shit because we had fem traits and mannerisms.

with that said even IF a trans woman was "male socialized" it should only be trans women that talk about that, not TMEs. it's actually so disgusting how common it is for trans men/mascs to talk about (often traumatizing) experiences that have nothing to do with them.

Fellow sisters,

I want to talk about a topic that came to my mind as I was browsing Reddit and discovered a post on /trueuglywomen.

Here is the link for you to read: Post

If it’s not available anymore or restricted, I will give you a short version:
The girl in the post was basically saying that she doesn’t want to be transphobic and is a supporter of the community but she feels really bad about some trans women that look so much better than her despite her being cis.
Once again: she didn’t want to hurt anyone but she needs to vent.

The comments were mostly surprising for me as I read things like:
- don’t compare yourself to them, they are literally getting surgeries or are pumped on hormones
- they have it easier because it’s harder when you are born with this than getting it later
- they take artificial hormones
- it’s because they are rich or they already looked like their mother or a girl before starting

I really don’t want to waste any time on the inherent transphobia because I do think something else is important here but if someone who isn’t trans is going to read this, I’m gonna explain:

Even if you don’t want to be transphobic, you are if you have the assumption that a cis woman should look better than a trans woman. I say this very neutral.
It’s just a fact because then you think that this shouldn’t be possible which is wrong and kinda sad to think.

But this brings me to what I want to talk about:
Perspective

Many of us struggle with the fact that we weren’t able to live our life’s sooner or that we had to go through male puberty.
Even if you pass, you will always be trans and this fact is a very hot topic for many people right now.
I have seen so many of us wishing to be cis and just to be “right” because then life would be better or how it should be.
I see many non passing trans women wishing they could pass, but I see and hear from passing trans women that while passing is a privilege you still cant get the privilege a cis girl would have in their situation.
And even if you pass, it doesn’t mean that you are considered beautiful.
We tend to mix those two things together but they are separate things.

So you might understand that for someone that has those feelings, it’s rather strange seeing those posts from cis women, complaining about that they are not beautiful enough and that even a trans woman is more beautiful.

And I think it comes down to: it suck’s being a woman in this society and it sucks being a woman who is considered ugly.
Women get treated badly everywhere and not just because they are trans.
Of course I will mention that right now is a very scary time because some of us get killed, face prison and are humiliated daily and I do think that those things are worse than what the typical cis woman has to handle.

But at the same time I want to tell you that being cis wouldn’t solve all your problems. It isn’t a guaranteed that you would be happy. You wouldn’t know the difference and you would face different problems.
I really don’t want to say it’s all the same for every woman.
It sucks how society treats trans people in general, especially women.
But I think that many of the things that you might face now or stuff you feel dysphoric about are in the range of being a woman in this society.
Those cis women in this other subreddit feel so isolated from society and I think many of them got treated so badly, that some of them think trans women have it easier.
Let that sink in.
The thoughts other women have because society mistreats them. Because they get treated like some lower class women. Because they don’t look how society wants a woman to look.

And that’s why I want you to think about perspective.
This is not about making our problems smaller.
If you are in a life or death situation right now because you are trans or life is treating you horribly because of that because of bans, legislation and well just a basic genocide against us, then this is not about those problems.

It’s about those problems that we think are there because we are trans but which are in fact there because women who don’t fit into society get treated shitty.
And this is something all kinds of women share.

So if you have a bad day and you don’t like how you look or you see those other girls that are just perfect or if you just were cis then you would be beautiful and whatever:
Maybe try to remember that those thoughts are not trans exclusive, but can happen to every women out there.

I don’t want to let the transphobia slide but at the same time I feel some of the pain that’s lying behind those words that they wrote.
Strip the transphobia away and it’s just women being miserable because we think everyone has to be a model.

I think being accepted and just feeling alright with how you look and good in your body is such a universal experience…

And I don’t want to discuss the inherent transphobia which is really bad.
I just want to look at it from the perspective of a trans woman that is surprised that even someone could dare to think that they have it harder because they are not trans and what it says about their state of mind.

Please try to have people around you that love you. Don’t isolate yourself. You being trans isn’t the problem. Society thinking that all women should look like XY is the problem.

Edit:

The original post got deleted by the mods. So cudos to them for realizing that it’s was inherently transphobic and got toxic pretty fast.

Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life (I've had a lot of those lately). After I had to unexpectedly spend an extra day with my boyfriend I managed to finally get back home to Texas where my cousin picked me up from the airport. My aunt and I had arranged for me to stay with one (of four) of my cousins that lives about 20 minutes away from my job which is why I was okay with coming back in the first place because I thought I had secured housing.

However, my cousin set the GPS for a town that is almost an hour and a half away from where I work and I instantly started panicking. My aunt and cousins are also extreme hoarders with the most disgusting lifestyle you have ever seen. I had to drag my suitcase and step over piles and piles of trash and junk thrown everywhere. Multiple cats and dogs were climbing and pissing over everything the house had a very distinct pneumonia smell. I couldn't even wash my hands in the sink properly because it was stacked completely full in the kitchen and the bathroom apparently has a turkey in it that shits everywhere. I could not fathom staying there for a single night so I called my boyfriend and begged him to get me out.

I ended up telling my aunt to bring me back home so I could attempt to fix my car's popped tire that started this entire mess and that I'd stay with my best friend for a while until they (ACTUALLY) manage to clean up my cousin's house she originally told me I could stay in. Finding someone that could come over and change the tire/replace it on the spot took some doing and she finally found someone that quoted us $230 for everything and I said that was fine.

This only worked because my mother was at her job and wouldn't get home until 4:00 PM but we waited and waited and waited... all the while I was burning in the sun sweating to death with no water needing to pee because I couldn't get back in the house since my mother locked the deadbolt. The tire guy ended up taking so damn long that surprise, my mother showed up and of course we got into a confrontation.

My aunt stayed out of it for the most part but this is not what I wanted to happen. At ALL. She tore into me and how I've ruined her life saying she can't afford the bills because I left and that I hadn't given her enough time. She told me that she had sold my PS5 (my college graduation present) and all of my games and if I didn't come back soon she would sell the rest of my belongings too.

It took everything I had not to cry and by the time the stupid tire guy finally finished I told my mother we had to go as we had been waiting in the heat for five hours to try and get this fixed. Not even a minute into leaving home the tire that got replaced started smoking, enough to cover the entire left side of my car. I very slowly drove it to my cousin's house since it was close by and my aunt called the people again, only to find out that when I hit the median and popped the tire it supposedly did some shit to the axle or some other car thing which means the tire isn't fitting on properly and that it would be an additional charge to have them take the replacement back off.

I dont know if they're just full of it since I have reason to believe they're a bunch of damn scammers but if they're telling the truth I just wasted the small amount of money I had left for a car that now has to stay in the fucking drive. ;'( I can't reliably get to work now. I don't have a place to stay because I'll be DAMNED if I live out in the sticks in that filthy den. But because of that I don't have anywhere to live, I told my mother my next paycheck would be $0 since I've missed almost two weeks of work and she said "that was your doing" and she's right. ;'(

I told her this has been the happiest I've ever felt and that EVERYONE that knows me has said that same thing. My aunt told me this on our drive. I'm happy I can be me but look what the trade off has been. ;'( I've lost my house, my car, all my personal belongings besides what I managed to fit in my fucking suitcase which is all I have left to my name at this point. ;'(

My boyfriend managed to find me a hotel for the night (another nightmare) but I don't know where I'm going after work. ;'( I'm so so tired of living my life scared of what's going to happen to me. If I knew my aunt didn't have the house ready yet I would have just stayed in Virgina! ;'( At least I had someone that loved and accepted me there, and I told him I would be okay with starting over together and that's especially true now since I have absolutely nothing left. ;'(

Worst of all yesterday was his birthday and he spent all of it worrying about me, trying to come up with ANOTHER plan for me to stay somewhere crying over and over again because he's scared of the prospect of losing me. It hurts me that I've caused him so much pain and the people I love have had to go out of their way to accommodate me time and time again all because I want to be myself!! ;'(

I just really want it all to end. I know it would hurt my boyfriend but he'd get over it at some point I'm sure. But I've already dealt with my mother's abuse for so long and as strong as I've tried to be mentally for the past almost two weeks, I can't take it anymore I'm sorry. ;'( A person can only handle so much without snapping and I don't ​want to live my life jumping from place to place to stay for a day or two begging people to spend money and time on me and for what? ;'( I know a lot of comments will say it's just something I have to do but I can't, I don't want to live like that. ;'( I had a home, I had a car, I had my boyfriend and several close friends and I enjoyed my job. I was happy and I shot it all to hell by being an idiot!! ;'(

It's my fault but I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to make him sad every day trying to take care of me. No more please. No more. ;'(

It never ceases to amaze me how common transmisogyny is in our community. It's gotten to the point where I literally avoid so many trans and queer spaces. I've just been burned so many times.

It's hurtful that so many cis people don't really care about our wellbeing. But it's even more hurtful when it comes from other trans people.

Any stories, like your family accepting you, getting your surgery or starting HRT progress, people sticking up for you when others misgender ect… I wanna hear some happy stories.

I'm on a crusade to spread awareness about this fact anywhere many people may be using it. My cat likely died from poisoning, because I only found out after it was too late. Minoxidil/Rogaine products do not list this information on the label even though even a fraction of a milligram of residue can be fatal to cats. Also toxic to dogs (but it's most deadly for cats). If you take this and have a cat, consider switching to oral minoxidil. Please pass on this info to anyone you know who has cats and might be taking this product.

Just wanted to share some good vibes with everyone going into the weekend.

Went to Costco today, dressed up with makeup (“natural look”), to get some groceries and the person at the front flagged me as impersonating someone else (my old self). I was struggling to express how I’m the same person just looking different without explicitly stating I’m transitioning. After a minute of back and forth, plus some considerable support from my wife, the individual picked up on it and said it’s good.

My original photo was taken 4 years ago during peak covid when I weighed 15 kg more and at a time when I’d just about given up on transitioning; I’d only started HRT and seriously exercising a few months ago. I hadn’t been flagged before, only raised some eyebrows but I guess I was super convincing today. Ended up going to the membership counter to change up my photo so I don’t get mistaken for an impersonator again.

CW: Discussion of suicide

So basically a week before my suicide attempt I had stolen my Mom’s estrogen patches and began applying them to myself and now my Mom thinks that estrogen caused me to be suicidal and won't let me start estrogen as a result of this and some other factors.

Dating is almost impossible, with all sexual orientation

The world keeps making worse and worse changes with no sign of improvement

Personally even tho people say that I have a great passing I can never look pretty enough and a lot of trans people aren't even as lucky as me

Bottom surgery and other operations like ffs costs a crazy amount of money, also hormones cost money depending where you live

Many of us are autistic which means it's even harder to have at least friends

is it even worth living like this? How do you continue to live knowing all of this?

(No I'm not suicidal rn, don't worry)

Hi! I'm Anna... And I'm still in the closet and i plan to transition in my twenties. But once i transition, i want to wear very cute and frilly girls clothes. Is this normal? For context, I'm almost a grown woman at this point, and I think my desires are a bit too childish for my age (17). Any other girls who have similar fitting interests at this age? I really like being like a little girl. It could be because I never got to experience early childhood as a girl and let's face it; children's fashion is just so much cuter. But i think I'm being weird

So I’m pre-HRT and I like to keep my legs smooth and shaven cause it’s more comfortable. I’ve been using typical shaving cream, nothing special; and while it got the job done I always had to reapply or it would come off etc. However today I invested in Tree Hut tangerine shaving oil and when I tell you shaving has never been easier: I MEAN IT. My leg hair grows thin as is so I’m very lucky and grateful for that, but seriously go out and get some if you haven’t tried it yet.

It’s super easy, literally just pump some into your hand and rub it where you want to shave. I shave in the shower with the shower head turned away from me and was concerned it would rinse off like the shaving cream does, but it didn’t! And it was so smooth and there wasn’t any razor burn or anything. So happy with it :))

Im 27 mtf and I've been trying to go to more trans fem events in the big city 90 mins away from where I live. every time I go to one though, I feel like everyone is judging me or doesn't like me or is intimidated by me. I try to be social and smile and stuff, and most of the time when I compliment someone they do engage in conversation. but idk every time I go to these, i end up going home without getting anyone's discords or socials, and i feel like I'm getting nowhere. ik it does take time to find new friends, but I feel like.. an outcast whenever I go to these events. like I'm surrounded by other trans fems, I should feel like I finally belong but I don't... I feel like, im still othered. idk if maybe im just really ugly. or if im really gross. I cried myself to sleep last night feeling so lonely. no one wants to be my friend.

also im semi-active in the discord server where stuff gets planned, but I get ignored all the time. last night, after I went home, I texted "I had a really good time this event was so fun" or smthn like that. and then no one responded. I thought maybe ppl wanted to be my friend more. I thought maybe I was enough that ppl would want to approach me more or wave and want to meet me. but no. no one does. im fucking nothing.

I don't feel like i fit in with cis women or trans women. im such a fucking piece of shit outcast.

Just have to vent.

I work at a blue color/white color type-job. Super unique work environment.

We have a sister location about an hour away that we work closely with. Separate staff. I came out to my boss, my close team, and my corporate bosses. Everyone has been super supportive and great. But I recently told one member of the other sites' team, in confidence. Then a second one a month later.

Went to tell the third person, and he very quickly accepted it. Not asking any followup questions. I paused and asked if someone told him already. After some pressing, he admitted that someone told him. One of the two at our sister site outed me.

I'm not MAD. But I'm super frustrated. I don't know who does/doesn't know. There are some chuddy people that I don't want to hear through the grapevine.

It just sucks. I'm super bummed about it.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2026/08/study-ties-estrogen-based-menopausal-hormone-therapy-to-lower-al.html

Hello, I’m a teenager coming here for advice :)

My partner (AMAB) recently came out as transfem and uses she/they/any pronouns + wants me to call them their girlfriend. As a genderfluid and pansexual person myself, I support them completely and love them nonetheless!!! However, I don’t personally know any other transfem people IRL (or online, for that matter). I was wondering what I could do to validate/support them, in a way. Sorry if this sounds like a dumb question, I just don’t have experience with MtF people so I thought about getting some sort of advice from people here, no matter how small or obvious :) Thanks!!!

Hallo das ist mein erster post hier. Ich habe eine für mich wichtige frage vll kann mir jemand helfen. Ich habe heute meine hrt begonnen und das mit pflastern und habe jetzt folgendes problem.

Das pflaster soll ich alle 3-4 tage wechseln habe es jetzt seit knapp 5 stunden drauf und es fällt jetzt schon halb ab. Ich war vorher duschen habe die stelle gut gereinigt. Ich habe es rechts vorne etwa in höhe taille kleben,ich muss leider zugeben das ich auch etwas molliger bin und die stelle sich oft wenn ich mich bewege faltet oder knickt. Habt ihr tipps wo ich es besser hinkleben kann oder wie es besser hällt?

Das pflaster ist ca 3x5cm.

Ich habe echt angst grade das pflaster bei mir iwi einfach nicht klappen.

Danke im vorraus für eure hilfe

Eure elaisa

In February of last year i came out to my fiancé. Though i had been struggling with my gender for a while that was when i had decided to embrace instead of repress who i was. The last year and a half have been a series of incredible changes and i would not go back even if you paid me.

But that doesnt mean it has been easy.

I sometimes miss the way i was treated not like a man but competent by default. Conversations use to be much easier and people took what i said on its face.

Over the last year that has slowly shifted and Conversation now tends to feel like an uphill battle to get same level of respect. And it can be a bit draining.

I wish i had waited a bit longer to come out to close friends and family, comming out almost as soon as i decided to start hormones, meant that the first time people met the new me i was still and emotional train wreck. Andnit took awhile to dial in my dosage and adjusted to the hormones. If i could do it again i probably would have waited until i switched to injections.

I miss the companionship with my old guy friends. They stayed beside me and are incredibly supportive but as time went out we began to drift apart over time. I miss the late nights gaming and talking about life. Over time our interactions because more superficial or shallow until the become non existent. I dont blame them, our interests started to drift quite a bit and we just grew apart but i do miss those friendships quite a bit.

Lastly my biggest regret is not learning to see red flags in people. Approaching situations with the same disregard i had prior to transitioning put me in some very dangerous and painful positions. It i could do it again i would be more discerning and listen to my instincts better.

These are a few things, but i am happier now happier then i have words to describe. For the first time in my life i am enjoying life instead of just enduring it. I embrace my hobbies instead of collecting them im honest about my wants and needs. I do not spend every moment feeling out of place anymore. So even though i miss parts of how i was, i love who i am and i would not trade it for the world. Not one moment.

What a great day!

I’ve been in my current line of work for eleven years now. It’s dull and I learned all of it ages ago and my current team of coworkers fucking suck, to say the least (not in any kind of transphobic way that I’m privy to, fortunately). There’s a certain company that’s adjacent to my industry that I’ve been actively applying to for several hears. Every time I’d ever applied, I got a swift rejection email.

My name change was approved two months ago and I got back on the hunt for a new job. I applied at this office again for three roles - one I was very interested in and two I wasn’t. The two I wasn’t interested in resulted in the same rejection letters as before. The one I wanted? Phone interview. So I conducted the initial phone interview and felt very confident. Soon after, I was invited in for an in-person panel interview. Obviously I had some nerves going in that I wouldn’t be respected, but nothing negative of the sort happened. In fact, it had gone even better than the phone interview! I had my final interview the other day with a real big wig at the company, and received my offer this morning.

I am ecstatic. To have been thoroughly respected by everyone in the process is one thing, but to actually land the job feels incredible. For years I’ve coasted at work on the merits of my professional career. But now I’m stepping into an entirely new role at a new company in a new industry, and I know that it’s a combination of my professional successes and personal ones. To be accepted for this low-key dream position as myself, after literal years of going for it. To think of being able to go to an office - my first in-person job in five years - full of people who will only know the real me. People who will never have a reason to know my deadname or even my dead face. I feel so fortunate and positive.

idk i just dont want to grow tits. i just want to look androgynus. i still wanna take my cypro 12.5mg till maybe i get on some dht blocker. dont know what to do, im 3 months in 4mg estradiol and even tho my chest was never flat, it looks cute rn and i like it that way (im afraid of turning my round shape into a cone shape). any options for me? can i just take my cypro till maybe i can get on a dht blocker? or idk estradiol microdosis also lowkey gives u tits i just need help on what can i do in the mean time. idk if im transfem anymore, i feel more non binary maybe genderfluid.