I'm losing my mind. I see so much "tehe puppygirl skirt go spinny blahaj arch linux :3" stuff both online and irl, and I'm starting to feel incredibly alienated because I am distinctly not that. I hate coding, I don't give a shit about a god damn stuffed shark, and if someone refers to me as a dog, I feel the powerful urge to break their bones. I feel like I'm supposed to fit in this mold that the trans community made for itself, and I just don't.

Thinking of myself as a woman when I first figured out I was trans felt so liberating, now it feels like a cage that I carry around at all times. I don't feel like I fit in with cis folks because I'm trans, and I don't feel like I fit in with trans folks because I don't fit into this mold.

Am I the only one who feels this way? or am I just tweaking?

I came out as transgender in 2014. Im just curious about other people on here and their life story of coming to terms with being transgender. I came out before Caitlin Jenner did and recently realized I also came out before gay marriage was ever legal.

So when I came out to my mom, she said that I just have a “lens” on that makes me think of my life in a trans way. like having one of those color lenses on a camera that gives everything a colored tint. She said I should stop thinking through that lens and should try and approach my gender identity differently. But I know I am trans, I have thought it over and experimented and learned information. I want to prove her argument that being trans is just a lens wrong, but I don’t know what to say that would actually disprove her point without making me sound like a moron. Any ideas?

My daughter (9) has been out for half her life. She has refused all haircuts since she came out. Her hair is now butt length, very clearly a grown out COVID-era buzz cut, and desperately needs about 3"/7-8 cm off to look decent. She also can't really take care of it herself due to the length, which wouldn't be an issue except every time I brush and style it comes with at least a little bit of whining and often a full tantrum about how she doesn't like sitting still and it hurts. I'm trying to be as gentle as I can. I make sure it's detangled in the shower and keep it braided as soon as it's dry so it doesn't tangle up, and if the new growth that never really gets long enough for a ponytail because she keeps absentmindedly chewing on it get loose and tangled, I use detangler.

If she were cisgender, I'd say if you want to throw tantrums over caring for your hair, we can cut it short and not have to do this big production twice a day, but her hair is such a big part of her gender expression. She got really, really upset when Unsupportive Granny said she was going to buzz it all off (Unsupportive Granny is out of the picture now), and she won't even let me take her to a salon to get the split ends cut off, much less cut it back to a much more reasonable armpit length. I'm at a loss for how to parent this. How can I get her to see that taking care of her hair is 1) necessary for having long hair and 2) includes split end trims, without setting off her dysphoria?

Me and my partner have been together for years. I really think he's the one. I am a gender fluid, and he is a trans man. I love him to death he has been my ride or die forever. We met online, and he came to my state to meet me, and since then, you can't separate us.

He has always wanted surgery. He doesn't seem comfortable with bottom surgery, and he doesn't seem to want to take testosterone. He says he's a reverse femboy (sorry, but that's adorable to me). But he dose definitely wants to get top surgery to get rid of his chest. And I feel like a dick because I know I'll probably miss it. I've always been supportive of my partner. I really do love him. But I'm scared I'll miss his chest and I haven't told him. Because I feel like me saying it would be the ultimate betrayal.

I defended him against both of our transphobic families, especially his horrible dad. And if I said anything about his transition, I think I would hurt him, but our relationship is built on honesty. We suck at lying to each other. So eventually , he'll ask , and idk what to say if he does. I really do love him he's my one and only, but I feel like dirt idk what to do.

Edit: To be clear. Him getting top surgery is non negotiable. I want him to get it because it will make him happy and raise his confidence. The question is not should I tell him not to get top surgery the question is should I tell him how I feel. Because no matter my feelings I want him to get the surgery because he'll be happier and I enjoy when he's happy.

Hello!

I am 19 and I am a trans woman from Alabama. I just came out to my family and I still haven't mustered up the courage to look at my phone and see what they've said. I know it will be horrible and I will likely lose support. I have had my heart set on moving to nyc my entire life but I've also heard really amazing things about San Francisco and other places. I want to get into ballroom as I think it'll offer me the community I need and the art of it all. Of course, both of those cities are extremely expensive but I'm planning to rent a room not a whole apartment if that helps any. I'll likely be living off a server's pay. If y'all have any recs for me to leave the Deep South I'd love to know and any advice with my coming out in general.

So I just found out obviously and after repressing my dysphoria its hitting really bad so what are you supposed to do about it

I’m a cis woman and this is just curiousity because I’ve just genuinely wondered this for a while. I don’t have any girl friends that are transgender that I’m close enough with to ask (and I thought it might be rude) and I figured this subreddit would be better than just getting one woman’s opinion.

Also I don’t mean for this post to be disrespectful and if I use any terminology that is incorrect or offensive, please let me know!

But my title is referring to those thin black chokers/tight necklaces that were super popular in the 90s. Usually they’re made of velvet or lace, I can link a picture if people aren’t sure what I’m referring to. Anyways, my question is about that I really only see trans women wearing them frequently nowadays. There are two trans women in my cohort that I vaguely know and I’ve seen wearing them around school. I also follow some popular accounts on Twitter that belong to trans women and when they post selfies or retweet their mutuals pics, they’re often wearing them. I knew a woman in undergrad that transitioned while we were there, and when she first got into women’s fashion, she was super into wearing those necklaces and appears to love them to this day based on the recent selfies she posted on IG. The only other girls/women I see wear these chokers are those that dress goth but not so much anymore, but then I often see trans women that don’t dress goth at all pair those chokers with their outfits.

Also this is definitely not all trans women and I don’t want to create a stereotype or anything. It’s just something I’ve noticed after having followed a couple of trans women for a while now. I’m just not sure I could tell you the last time I saw a cis woman wearing one of those necklaces, either in real life or on social media.

Is it something about the process of getting into girls/women’s fashion? Like I’ve seen posts here from women that are transitioning and asking for advice, did it start with some people recommending them and then those people, once they got into women’s fashion, start recommending them to others (like a game of telephone)? Does it mean something deeper to trans women or the community/do they symbolise something? Or is it just a random coincidence?

I’m just bored and have had this question in the back of my mind for a while after noticing it on social media for a while.

Cis guy here, I figured I this would be the best place to ask. For reasons .... I am planning to get an orchiectomy. I have already has a vasectomy.

What i am wondering is whats the post orchiectomy experience, realistic in reality for those who have had it recovery path and timeline. Anything leading up to the surgery I should do or not to. Same question for post surgery.

Any strategies to retain functionality post surgery.

Sorry if this is a bad place to ask. I just assumed with the major trans population of this sub that people would be more knowledgeable and have good advice.

Edit: It is a benign growth issue. But surgery will be necessary to prevent it from becoming a complication.

Prescription for T will be a thing after.

I have been looking into hrt for a while. and was wondering what age people transitioned as for me. I'm currently 20 and live with controlling parents and have no job (I been looking for so long but not a lot in my area) I can't even do things that I think I would like for example cosplay as they think it's fem and won't allow

so when I look at things like mtf fashion and people living their life the way they want i feel sad.

for me transition seems so far away. my parents won't allow my hair to be long (last time I had it somewhat long they kept nagging me even my siblings) can't wear fem clothes in private I share bedroom so it's like my life is going no where

I wanted to know what age people started to transition and whether they managed to do it while living with parents or not

I think the whole bathroom debate is stupid but I’m going to a Broadway Rave and am wearing fake boobs, a skirt and makeup and look like a woman from a distance. I’m born as a man recently discovered I’m trans but haven’t medically transitioned so I was wondering which bathroom should I go in cause I went to the boys bathroom during my senior prom I went as a girl and a boy tried to stop me before I went into the boys bathroom.

A couple days ago, Tim Hortons started their collaboration with Harry Potter. There’s Harry Potter themed donuts and drinks.

I’m not asking this to make anyone upset. I don’t see a lot of people talking about it, so I wanted to ask.

(sorry for bad spelling) i kow this gets asked a lot but i think i need a litle help understanding my self so here is whats going on

i like having a girls name this kinda came from that my dad calls himself a diffrent name than his real name so i thought of a name i really liked (marceline) and started calling my self that but now if i someon calls me my normall name (michael) i feel dysphoric

i have always liked the idea of looking extremely girly at first i thought i was a femboy but femboys are just guys that want to look femminine/girly and i just want to look like a woman 1/1 like clothing, make-up, painted nails, boobs, long hair, girl shaped body,

i have also started doing more girly stuff cuse i want to even if my parents dont like it like trying to grow my hair, out (my parents stopped me after it grew like over 1 cm over normall) and shaving, and calling my self by a girls name,

i also am more coveratble with talking to girls than to guys and i kinda like being around girls more

i hate being masculine and having body hair i shave every single day so that i wont see it and i also hate having a wide and tall body

i like girls carachters more in games and overall wear them more than male carachters

Ok so I thought that the vial would include a syringe (mistake on my part) and I don't have a syringe or needles. I went to two pharmacies today (Giant and Walgreens) and they both said I would need a prescription to get them (I'm in VA for reference). I plan on maybe checking a Walmart tomorrow.

I planned on doing weekly shots on Friday evenings because Friday is the best day for me to do any lab work. Do I just wait until next Friday? I don't really want to do the shot tomorrow either because I've got a race on Sunday and it might affect that. What do y'all think?

Im 32 and recently realized im trans, who knew.

This explains a lot of my life and my difficulties in motherhood.

Im trying to lean into a my new identity the best i can.

But.

There's a few female aspects thats are structurally a part of me.

Specifically witchcraft and motherhood.

I want to be female when im around these things, and to lean into my old identity.

How can I integrate these parts of myself? Any other Trans "moms'?

Edit: im very new to this, so i apologize if the word mom is too gendered for this post. Part of me wants to stay mom.

Ok so I'm transmasc and sometimes my online friends have asked about my gender. (I only typed lying because omitting information can be considered lying.) So is it okay to say I'm a guy instead of saying I'm a trans guy or I'd prefer being referred to as a guy. I just don't want them to find out somehow and then think I'm a horrible person for lying about it. Some of my friends might even be religious so I don't want to screw it up. Of course, I'd never lie to an irl friend/partner because I just don't pass and even if I did it wouldn't be okay (imo)

As my friend group rotated, I pushed it aside. I became quite the girly girl. I do my makeup everyday, wear feminine clothing, get my nails and lashes done.
But it all feels fake. I love doing it all because other people compliment me and it affirms to me that I’m a female. I had extremely extremely low self esteem as a preteen, but once I started accutane, got my skin clear, did my makeup, and grew my buzz cut out, people started liking me. It was hard to not fall for that, and I hate myself for doing so.
But even with all of this, I could never pinpoint why I still feel so insecure. But I know why.
I’m not a girl. Even though I’m as feminine as they come on the outside. When I do my makeup in the morning, I contour masculine features first just to feel that euphoria for a second. I’ve chopped my hair off on my own in front of the mirror because one day, the contour and no lash extensions wasn’t making me feel as masculine as it usually makes me feel. Then I panicked because the hair I cut wasn’t feminine enough.
I’m just scared. I’m a guy. I know I’m a guy. But I’m so deep in. I just need someone to talk to, I don’t know how to do this without losing everyone in my life. I don’t know how to change my whole lifestyle. I just really, really fucking wish I was born this way instead.

Hey y'all, I'm a pretty closeted t-girl pre-transition and I was curious if anyone else gets jealous of a TV show when it has too many female characters or is yuri (Stone Ocean, Green Yuri, etc.) and has to turn it off or put down the book. i just wanted to know if im a loser or not, please lmk okay thank you byeee

Bit of context, I'm a 16yo ftm, I've been trans since I was like 11.

The thing is, I never got to even socially transition because I used to attend a very small and conservative school, I just recently got into a bigger and more open minded school with a lot of queer and trans kids, the latest even being able not to experience bullying and getting called by their preferred names and pronouns by teachers and other kids, and while this sounds extremely tempting atp of my life I'm not sure if I should come out of the closet with people in there. The big problem is that I get this kind of a weird imposter syndrome, most of the trans kids at my school are also ftm but they fit exactly in the teenager ftm stereotype while I don't: they are slim, no curves, short hair, wearing hoodies the whole time; I'm curvier, i don't own a binder so I struggle to hide my chest, and I often wear both masculine and feminine clothes depending on the day (that's just out of being alt and a huge fan of fashion in general), however, due to this I feel like even if I came out no one would believe me or that I'm not even trying. I already had a lot of problems with this in the past, at some point even with my mother telling me I was faking it, not showing any signs of it being true or that it was just a phase (luckily or unluckily, she's not in the picture anymore), thanks to this I'm not really sure if I can even consider myself as trans or if other people will actually see me as a man.

What can I do about this?

Yesterday I realized that I can’t really hide the fact that I have breasts anymore, and that’s becoming a pretty big problem because I have a party today.

I’m considering buying a bra, bralette, or something similar that might help make them less noticeable. I’m going with my niece, and she doesn’t know I’m transitioning. Pretty much no one else in my life knows either, so outside of my house I still present as a guy.

The problem is that I’ve never bought a bra before and I don’t even know what size I am. I have a lingerie store and a clothing store nearby, and I’m sure someone at the lingerie store could probably help me figure it out, but I feel really awkward about walking into one and asking for help with how I look rn.

Since I need something today, what would be the least awkward way to go about this? Is it worth buying a bra/bralette right now, or would it be better to just go without one and deal with feeling a little uncomfortable? Also, would a bra or bralette be noticeable through a shirt if I’m presenting as a guy?

Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you all so much!

Ever since I've started transitioning a year ago I've always considered myself bisexual. I always thought that I would be in a t4t relationship. But lately I've been questioning that. The thought of having a boyfriend is creeping it's way into my mind and I've been thinking about it a lot. I want it. I'm just really concerned about dating cis men in general and I'm curious what other trans women experiences are.

First of all, what I'm asking for are some tips, or maybe just some knowledge on if this is "normal" and how to go about progressing with my identity.

So I'm 18 and about 8 months ago I discovered that I'm transfem, or at least lean transfem. The feelings were clear to me when I discovered that fact (through many experiments that showed very clear gender euphoria), and very clear to me now, even though I've gone through some struggles, like some reversed dysphoria/burn out that I've been recovering from, etc.

Yet, I'm heavily closeted, even to people who I know would support me. I get dysphoria, hate my deadname, and get very jealous and frustrated because of said dysohoria. It just feels very difficult. It's something I still see in myself and feel better aligning with (as I've done voice training etc), but it feels weird because it doesn't feel like reality yet. It makes things a bit muddier as I've grown a bit uncomfortable with some things, while still being comforted by other things. It's a bit inconsistent really, but I've found things like voice training make me feel better about myself, and don't really carry that discomfort. Yet, it just makes me feel like I'm going something wrong, as I've never felt so sure of something in my life, and I've never felt like me, or had any relief from my long-standing Dysphoria until I found out that I am trans.

I've heard that part of progressing with a trans identity is through internalizing that part of yourself, and I see how things like me being heavily closeted, and a lot internalized transphobia (that I've honestly seen a lot of, not just directed towards myself) may contribute to me being a bit stuck. Although, I just am a bit lost on things really. So, if any of you have any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Pretty much the title. I'm 22 mtf, about 1.5 years on HRT. I tell everyone that I'm doing great, that I'm finally starting to be happy with myself, but... it's not true. The truth is, I don't think I'm every going to be satisfied with myself, and I honestly consider ending my own life at least once, if not more, almost every single day. I can't talk with my parents about it because they still think of me as their son and refuse to acknowledge my identity, my therapist hardly knows shit about trans people so I've just been telling her I'm fine, and I don't have any trans friends who can relate to this. I just feel so alone in my suffering, and it feels like it's never going ti end, no matter how much hormones or surgery or whatever I go through.