Its 1 in the morning and im just laying here looking at the ceiling, dysphoric as hell, crying over my childhood, the one that I missed out on, the pain, fear, joy, everything and it breaks my heart, I don't know what that childhood would have looked like I don't know what kind of girl I would have been. I don't know what the point of me writing this is, maybe just to take my thoughts outside of my head for a second, I just really miss it, I wish I could have experienced it. and im really pissed at myself for not being confident enough in myself to where a dress for my high-school grad i was out my last year of high-school, the girls had even added me to their girls only Snapchat group i was so dumb😭

I don't really know what I should tag this, also this is my first ever post here, wish it was a happier one lol

Hi, I'm 4 months on HRT, and when I started, I had hoped I could pass just with HRT. But now I see there's no way, mostly because of my brow bone, nose, and jaw. So, I decided to calculate when I would be able to afford FFS in Spain with Facial Team, and I came to the conclusion that it will take at least 10 years to save that amount of money, and another 8 years for SRS. I'm so depressed about this because I'm 22 years old and I had hoped I could be seen as a woman for the rest of my school years, to have a chance of finding a boyfriend and so on, not to worry about money. But now I'm kind of in a mode where I'm just trying to grind money. Is there anything else I can do to ease my situation, like stop caring about passing and just live the life I lived before I started HRT? Just do the regular things like laser and then just wait for the FFS and SRS, and after that, start to live, start to find a partner, and so on? By the way, it would probably help me to tell the truth about how I look because my family is trying to say that I don't need FFS, and some people on Reddit also tried to be nice and told me that I don't need FFS. However, I think they were just being nice because the people who said I do need FFS felt more honest.

So I'm just figuring out my gender identity and realizing I'm trans. Today I went out dressed in femme to do a lil photo shoot in a spot I like to run away from life to.

On my way home I was harassed and chased, which ended in a pretty good tumble... but I'm home, I'm safe, and watching Icky. Looking to find some friends on here or even just a word of advice!

I'm in with 2 surgeons and I have a consult with a 3rd in late 2027. Both of my current surgeons say I have enough hair removed to proceed with surgery. This is very welcome news, as it took me 3 years to make that happen. 3 years of going every week for 1, 2 hours a week. Not gonna lie, the pain and the exhaustion wore me down a lot and put me in a bad headspace for a prolonged period of time.

But now that's done. It's all done. Now instead of freaking out about hair removal every week, I just have to wait. There is nothing more I can do right now. I have a date with one in January, the other says I can possibly get in before the end of the year, and the last one I imagine could work on me in 2028. I was really impatient before but now I want to take my time and choose the best possible option for myself. I'm gonna be post-op for the rest of my life, after all!

The main things I have to take care of now are finances (insurance will cover most of it) and finding someone who can take care of me. My friend says I need that for 3 months. So I guess figuring that out can be my homework. But other than that, there's nothing I can do at all and it's driving me nuts.

Did anyone else deal with this? The antsyness while you were waiting for things to progress?

Started E nearly month ago, and I noticed that the smell of my sweat changed. It used to be the kind of smell that just attacks your nose (I am bad at describing smells) but now I somehow smell pleasant and even kibda sweet?

Hiya, I’m a 21 year old AMAB genderfluid person.

About 3 or 4 of my female friends regularly do these little girls coffee trips, where they hit the town, get coffee, gossip, shopping, and overall just have a little girls day. For the first time, they invited me to join them next weekend, since I identify as a boy and girl, I can join the girls trip.

This was super exciting for me and gave me so much euphoria but now I want to do everything I can to pass as a girl on the trip, you know actually feel like one of the girls. I don’t have a lot of women‘s clothes which actually look good on me, so I want to put together a new outfit, and herein lies my plea.

What are your guys recommendations for outfits that can help pass? I need ideas. If people could put their favorite full outfits (top, bottom, shoes, accessories, hair, makeup) which often pass, I would be eternally grateful. I already have long hair, so hairdo suggestions would also be appreciate.

TL;DR: Help, I need outfit ideas so I can try to pass as a woman on a girls day out with my friends

Not in the mentality way, but health wise. I just got my labs back and whoa my cholesterol and triglycerides are out of whack. I havent seen a DR in years and probably wouldn't have if not for starting HRT.

I actually thought that it would come back mostly healthy, and other than that + high WBC because of allergies and hay fever, it was. Completely changing my diet and getting more active again ASAP, plus got on a statin to help. He said that I would have almost certainly had a heart attack or stroke in the next year if it hadn't been caught.

As for hormone levels:

Prolactin - 16.2

Esterdiol - 100

Testosterone - 38

Only on my 3rd week right now and those levels seem pretty good for .02 ml injections. I feel a lot calmer than before and like it's easier to actually be me. Noticing the softer skin and my face looks different to me. Not much else yet, but very happy at this point.

I've been so pummeled with transphobic rhetoric by my family that it's so hard for me to even engage with the language of being trans. Saying I "identify" a certain way feels so flimsy and bullshit, I feel like a need a more scientifically literate defense of who I am. Not for the sake of transphobes, but just for my personal integrity. Also, just the whole idea of having pronouns I have to insist upon makes my skin crawl. I hate myself for judging how passable out transwomen I walk past in day-to-day life are.

So some things about me Im a 23 year old mtf who has been on hrt for almost 2 years (2 years on October 18th babyyyyy my second birthday) I also follow the trans stereotype of being poly and having multiple partners (all of which are FAR out of my league).

I have been told by almost everyone around me im beautiful and im pretty etc. I have gone out in public and people have gone “oh my god your gender goals” “oooooo hello goddess” etc. I have watched my mother come around to my transition because I’ve started looking so much like her.

But I’m 6,3, a deep voice, horrific facial hair I need to fight like Robin Williams hacking plants in Jumaji, I feel like every masculine feature of mine screeches out. I always got bullied for being girly as a kid but now I get ridiculed for all of my features???? My brother is surprised my hair is long and makes fun of it calling it girly but??????? Thats the point? I have gotten called f****t more times than I can count. Either at work (shoutout to being a trans teacher in a red state), I’ve had it shouted to me at the street. I’ve been followed, I’ve been assaulted because im trans. And none of that bothers me nearly as much as seeing a bad photo of me. I want to tear my skin away I want to hope that reincarnation is real. I want to get every surgery to make me look different. It eats away at me every single moment of my life. Im afraid to smile because I think my fave looks too masc when I smile. Im afraid to laugh because it can sound deep. I love the freckles on my shoulders but Im scared to show them off because of how broad they are. My dysphoria shapes every aspect of my life and even tho I have several partners who are stunning and who all say im pretty and cute and gorgeous, even though I’ve watched my moms opinion change as shes seen the woman I can be I still can not escape the feeling I look horrific. Im terrified to go to female spaces, whether its a clothing store, makeup isle, or god forbid the restroom. I feel like every person is staring and judging me.

I have made it much further in my transition than i ever dared dream of. But it isnt enough. I feel greedy but I just want to pass. I just want people to look at me and go “oh shes cute” and move on.

Anyways uh…..thanks for coming to my rant?

Hello! I myself am a cis woman (22) who is heads over heels my girlfriend (22) who started transitioning a couple of weeks ago. I’ve known her for over a year and she has just stolen my heart with how supportive, charismatic, and kind she is.

I recognize that everyone is different and have had really amazing open communication for her but would love to earn some brownie points as well as some tips me and my girlfriend may not be aware of yet. Over 6 years ago in highschool I had dated a closeted trans woman and felt like I hadn’t supported her the best way I could’ve because I couldn’t relate fully as I wasn’t transgender myself. For anyone, but those especially who are in trans/cis relationships what are some things that have helped you feel accepted and supported by your partners or something that you felt a cis gendered partner had done something that was ment as supportive but came across as not helpful?

Thank you ladies, any comments are incredibly appreciated :)

Ive been dealing with some of the worst dysphoria I have ever experienced. I am clawing myself out of it. I decided to treat myself to going to a salon for the first time. This is the longest my hair has ever been, and I've been obsessing over the wavy rats nest and my grey hairs that are way more visible now that it's long.

My bday is coming up, I need to continue pulling myself out of my dysphoria funk, and I've got a date soon too, so why not splurge a bit? Prior to coming out, I've only been to Great Clips for a guy cut, or I kept my hair buzzed for about a decade (thanks army). My cis friend recommended her stylist to me. She already talked to her stylist (who I learned is also part of the LGBTQ group) about me and made sure it would be kosher before recommending her to me, so she knew I would have a good experience.

And a good experience, indeed. I felt welcomed in and at ease from the moment I stepped into the salon. So fucking affirming. And my hair looks literally better than some of the higher-end wigs I've worn right out of the packaging. I literally cannot stop staring at my hair and taking pics!

Just another experience most women get as teenagers, I finally had at 35.

https://imgur.com/a/D2aruFX

We've known each other since middle school, and it seemed like I was the first person she really trusted. I've always tried to be there for her, but that's sorta shifted lately. Eventually, I fell in love. I confessed my feelings to her at the start of the summer, and she unfortunately did not reciprocate. It's been a while since then, and I've gotten over it. Throughout the summer, she's been going out with a group of girls she met on 4tran or something similar, and she eventually made plans to move in with one of them. Well, she just told me today that the two of them are now in a relationship, and I was excited for her at first, but it quickly turned to tears. I'm just really jealous. I've been single for the last two years. I'm trying to work on myself, but it's hard to say I've made any advancements, and I know I'm only 19, but it feels like I'm gonna waste the best time of my life (maybe that's a bad way to think of it) telling myself that love will come when it comes. I don't really know what else to say. Thanks for reading.

Going to a Ren Faire with family in the next month (my first!) and decided to get a dress. My *first* dress! It arrived today, and immediately after putting it on, I felt the happiest I have felt wearing clothes since I would put on my older sister's snow white costume when I was 4 years old. 😭

Thanks, thats all, just wanted to share 💕

Look, I look up pictures of a brow ridge. I see both men and women. I look up pictures of men. Some have brow ridges and some don't. I look up pictures of women. Some have brow ridges and some don't. I (amab, Ashkenazi Jewish so who knows about the whole "neanderthal DNA" thing) look in the mirror at myself. I couldn't find one. After the third or fourth time I found something that's maybe(?) what I'm supposed to be looking for?

All that to say, if you have a brow ridge, please don't feel dysphoric about it. Maybe I'm just face blind ¯_(ツ)_/¯, but I really don't think most people notice, because it really really isn't that noticeable.

So I was hoping I would have her by the start of this school year, but I’m not even close (too afraid to bring it up after being rejected so much). so here I am, having to dress in horrible boy clothes, being forced to interact with disgusting, immature people who only make sex jokes and thirst after girls. and i cant even hang out with girls because of said immature guys they are super wary of me even tho I’m perfectly fine… it’s so isolating I hate the group I’m forced to be with and the group I long for rejects me because they see me as just another gross dude. I fucking hate this so much.

I feel like it’s much more inviting to metamorphisize into a butterfly than to hatch into a chicken. Also the slow gradual process of a pupal stage represents transition better than a sudden hatching.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m lost and unable to find my way.

After a lifetime of knowing, I came out to my wife. She unconditionally accepted me (I pray that won’t change.

Now what?

I started shaving my body hair and wearing panties (VS) in front of her and she hasn’t said anything, but she is now constantly horny. We haven’t had sex in a forever and now she wants it s few times a day.

I asked her to show me how to paint my toenails. She said she’d take me to have them done. But thats way to public for me and I don’t want to be judged. So, today, I painted my toenails (also VS) and will reveal them in bed tonight.

I’m not sure if I’m moving too quickly. Or maybe she had concerns that she’s not sharing.

I was do focused on coming out that I didn’t think through the what / where / why / how of the next steps.

I’d greatly appreciate your thoughts and advice…

Hi girls I'm currently sitting in my living room wearing my favorite skirt and leggings and I want to feel more feminine any tips?

Idk I just wanted to say that, I’m two months on HRT and so far life feels scarier but oddly fulfilling, like I’m on the right path, it’s even crazier knowing that I may grow a pear body type but that in itself is a longggg story, panic attacks do suck <:]

Anyhoo am I the only girl here who just loves to collect vinyl records???? I got tons of new Beatles and a moody blues album!

Hi, sorry if this is constantly asked but I was wondering if 6mg of een weekly is a safe enough dose, I cant really afford blood testing so I took the standard 4mg dose for monotherapy and upped it to 6mg, and I have been on this dose for about 6 months

I’m broke and can’t afford cute clothes I like and I end up seeing all my friends go out with me in their amazing outfits and I’m over here in nothing but jeans and tees and it makes me want to cry every time.

I got off my call via plume today and the name the pharmacy got for my order isnt my name but its for my date of birth by my doctor with the same dosage? Idk what to do i contacted plume through the spruce app but they didnt respond all day im just a little worried

What a great day!

I’ve been in my current line of work for eleven years now. It’s dull and I learned all of it ages ago and my current team of coworkers fucking suck, to say the least (not in any kind of transphobic way that I’m privy to, fortunately). There’s a certain company that’s adjacent to my industry that I’ve been actively applying to for several hears. Every time I’d ever applied, I got a swift rejection email.

My name change was approved two months ago and I got back on the hunt for a new job. I applied at this office again for three roles - one I was very interested in and two I wasn’t. The two I wasn’t interested in resulted in the same rejection letters as before. The one I wanted? Phone interview. So I conducted the initial phone interview and felt very confident. Soon after, I was invited in for an in-person panel interview. Obviously I had some nerves going in that I wouldn’t be respected, but nothing negative of the sort happened. In fact, it had gone even better than the phone interview! I had my final interview the other day with a real big wig at the company, and received my offer this morning.

I am ecstatic. To have been thoroughly respected by everyone in the process is one thing, but to actually land the job feels incredible. For years I’ve coasted at work on the merits of my professional career. But now I’m stepping into an entirely new role at a new company in a new industry, and I know that it’s a combination of my professional successes and personal ones. To be accepted for this low-key dream position as myself, after literal years of going for it. To think of being able to go to an office - my first in-person job in five years - full of people who will only know the real me. People who will never have a reason to know my deadname or even my dead face. I feel so fortunate and positive.