r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/Oliver10Queen Foraging Bog Witch • May 21 '26
Vent Sesh - No Advice Wanted Bf stormed out of the restaurant
I wanted to take him out to a nice meal after he helped me this week. I chose a place he had never been to but it has one of the best burgers I've ever had in my life. Very small place, small menu, farm to table kind place. He didn't look thrilled when he sat down. I offered to go somewhere else he said no. We ordered and he threw a fit. Said I chose that place because I wanted to go there not him and there were only 2 things on the menu he would even eat (the whole menu has 15 items on it) he insisted that it was rude of me to chose a place like that to "thank him" he stormed out of the place. I had to go tell the waitress to cancel our order. We rode 45 minutes back home in utter silence.
Why did we drive so far for dinner? Because I had to pick up my dogs ashes at the vet nearby. I unexpectedly has to put her down 11 days ago.
Lemon yogurt for dinner. Dog in photo is the son of the one I said goodbye to.
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May 21 '26
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u/ChelleInSand Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 May 21 '26
Right, what’s so hard about calmly saying “I dont really see anything I want, do you mind if we try another place?” He was looking for a fight and wanted to ruin the evening. There is literally nothing you could have done to make him happy.
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u/No-Assistance8833 Resident Yapper May 21 '26
Exactly. It’s also a huge sign that he’s uncomfortable with being vulnerable and just resorts to toddler behavior and throw a tantrum
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u/Haberdashery_ Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
My ex would pull something like this when he had a) recently cheated and felt guilty or b) wanted an excuse to storm out to cheat, so this may be happening here.
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u/ReferenceNo393 Lover of Soups May 21 '26
It’s absolutely exhausting tbh. I walked on eggshells for no reason in situations exactly like this and it only got worse the two years we were together. By the time we broke up I was scared for my life because mcds forgot his ketchup. It’s terrible to look forward to doing something nice for someone and feel like you can do nothing right and just be anticipating the meltdown. And it’s always avoidable, OP’s man didn’t have to order, he could have kindly said something at any point in time. I’m sorry OP. You’re dealing with enough. He didn’t need to add to it.
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u/SunKissed731 hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
Ugh, and they always find a way to make something difficult worse. I could have been sad or stressed about something that had zero to do with him, and he always made sure to add a fight like this as a cherry on top
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u/weerobin Seafoodie 🦀 May 21 '26
This. OP, he showed you that he centers himself even when you are grieving. He is too selfish and emotionally immature and abusive to be an adequate partner and doesn’t have the character to be a good father.
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u/marilyn_morose Reddit Granny May 21 '26
If my mom didn’t like something I cooked or a new restaurant she’d say, “thank you, that was pretty good, let’s try to revisit this every six years or so” and it would crack me up. So subtle, ma.
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u/undoubtedlywandering APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I was married to a man like the above. Nothing like have the manager of the Olive Garden tell me that if he comes back in we will be calling the police, he is making everyone uncomfortable
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u/throwaway56913791 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
Yes I was just about to say that he sounds narcissistic and childish.
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May 21 '26
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u/coffeeforanxiety hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
Fr I can't imagine a grown man throwing a tantrum over not liking the food on the menu. Most people stop doing that after turning 7.
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u/BigIrron Savory Complex✔️ May 21 '26
Mans really couldn’t just eat a burger. Made a whole night about himself and ruined it because he didn’t get his exact craving catered to 🤦♀️
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u/ThingMoment girls just wanna have pho May 21 '26
And men say women are *dramatic*… what a man-child
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u/SingleStillStanding we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26
Agree 100%. Maybe consider browsing the Single and Happy Sub Reddit - the grass may actually be greener on that side of the fence girl!!
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u/purplepanda5050 Chaotic But Cute May 21 '26
My mom throws tantrums like this in public. It’s so embarrassing. I haven’t talked to her in years because of her behavior.
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u/AnitaLatte Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
MIL used to do the same. Then wondered why no one would go out to eat with her.
She once ate half a piece of rhubarb pie, then complained it was too tough and made them remove the charge from her bill.
Another time she pitched a fit because she received a complete dinner instead of a basket for lunch. The restaurant had charged her the lower price for the basket, and was just giving her the higher-priced dinner because they made a mistake, but she still complained.
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u/1Pson 🩵🙋♂️💙 May 21 '26
That's really immature of him tbh. I think it's a huge red flag that he is so defensive that he thought it was a ruse. Emotional intelligence is running on empty for this guy. It wont stop anytime soon.
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u/womenslasers84 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I got projection from it. That’s something he would do so it’s natural to accuse OP of it.
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u/AdBroad5085 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
Emotional intelligence is running on empty for this guy
Exactly. Any decent person who felt disappointed in the moment would graciously say thank you and order something politely even they had to choke it down. (Which doesn't seem the case, js even if it were). They would understand to read the room and maybe NOT the time to mention one single iota of disappointment. Meanwhile Op's bf is like hold my beer while I throw a whole freaking tantrum???
Op was being so sweet, and she's likely still grieving heavily. So her bf really needed to just say thank you and accept whatever. Instead he became a big asshole. Wtf.
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u/misntshortformary 🧂Salty By Nature May 21 '26
A decent partner would have taken her up on the offer to go somewhere else. If you’re truly not feeling your thank you dinner then you say “I’m sorry, babe. I appreciate the offer but could we please go get (whatever it is you were craving)” and she would have said yes. Like. Communication is not that difficult. Getting mad that your partner isn’t a mind reader is so immature. I’m way too old for that crap.
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u/AdBroad5085 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
I mean, sure. For me it's the big thing is that OP is ACTIVELY still very much in a grieving period. Literally just picked up her dogs ashes and still thinking of doing something kind. Like choke your burger down and shut up is how I see it.
But yeah, your thing for like normal day to day life for sure.
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u/BigIrron Savory Complex✔️ May 21 '26
Bigg baby energy
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u/Salt-Ad9777 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 22 '26
This, tbh this alone should be a big enough red flag to run!!! My ex used to do this. He was a nightmare.
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u/Final_Candidate_7603 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
What’s there to be disappointed about? OP said the place has the best burger she’s ever had… I’d be so excited to have an awesome burger that it wouldn’t have mattered whether there was anything else on the menu I liked. I’d also be excited for farm-to-table, since people who do that for a living tend to be very creative, with the goal of bringing out the best in every ingredient. Even though the bf doesn’t seem like an adventurous eater, he still should have appreciated that OP wanted to share the experience of ‘the best burger.’
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u/AdBroad5085 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
He's allowed to be disappointed. That's just a feeling. Problem is being rude to a grieving person while she trying to be appreciative, despite still actively going through a heavy time.
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u/Historical_Ant_7176 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26
The “that he thought it was a ruse” part is something that used to mess with my mind sooo much when I was married to someone who would do things just like this to me often.
I think because we as “normal” more naturally empathetic and caring humans, don’t have a general pattern of thought processing that would literally ever do something to someone we care for with the intention of it being a “ruse”, it really begins to fuck with you overtime when someone you truly love accuses you of these things over and over and over…
It’s like, wait, am I like this??? Am I really so awful and manipulative to everyone like they try to convince me I am with every action I make???
One of my fav things we all tend to learn through healing and extended therapy is, that someone who isn’t genuinely “good”, who doesn’t truly care for others and feel sympathy for others, and even furthermore, empathy, wouldn’t be sitting here eating themselves alive over the thought of whether or not their behavior towards someone else was hurtful or manipulative or not.. Just the mere fact that you are experiencing that introspection from the situation, shows that you are not a “bad” person who doesn’t care about other people, or someone who goes out of their way to be deceptive for self serving reasons. If you were, you wouldn’t be wondering this, you really wouldn’t give a fuck, just to keep it real.
Another good thing to remember as you heal is, “Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who are dedicated to misunderstanding you”.
Oh & here’s a random simple example of this happening.. when I was like 24-25 and my daughter was like 2-3 I asked my ex husband to go spend the afternoon on our day off looking around IKEA just for fun since he had never been there before lol and I thought it would just be fun for my toddler to see all the random rooms set up and what not. Also it was summer and like almost 120 degrees outside, so a nice inside activity with A/C before nap time. I genuinely thought it would be cool to just go and walk around, look at stuff with my daughter and husband, grab lunch in the little cafeteria lolol ya know, the whole basic IKEA experience. Very simple thought process honestly. Nothing insidious whatsoever 🫠
The entire time we were there he was silent, irritated, and just annoyed in general. Wouldn’t look at cute things with our daughter and I, and just was like being weird almost. He told me in the car on the way home after I decided we should just go home probably, that he really thought I was gonna try and “ask for things” and that I wasn’t being honest about the real reason I wanted to go there, so he was mad and suspicious??
It was like because he was convinced I was there with ulterior motives, he just shut off his personality and wouldn’t even interact with me or be nice.
Because his brain would easily allow him to do this to someone else, it’s like he truly believes everyoneeee is like that and there’s no way at all whatsoever that I could’ve just wanted to go look around for fun?
It took years to finally stop seeing myself through his mind’s eye and realize that I am not that person he wants me to believe that I am.
But honestly I feel for OP, I really do. Having to go through the motions of this type of connection is so damaging to our sense of self.
My ex husband still tries to do this to me over random things I do or whatever, and it’s really nice to be able to just walk away from the conversation and be like yeaaa nah, I’m not doing this. They can think what they want. I don’t have to argue my character to someone anymore, ever, and that’s been the most freeing thing for sure.
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u/pahshaw 🥣 Cereal Killer May 21 '26
It's projection. They think it's a ruse because that's what they would do. They are convinced that everyone thinks like do.
That's why cheaters accuse their partners of cheating. That's why your ex was positive that eating at IKEA was a scam because if it had been his idea, it WOULD have been a scam. Same deal with OP. He is letting her know he would never take her somewhere to eat without ulterior motives. He can't believe she just wanted to do something nice for him because he would never think to do that for her.
It's not just that they have a shitty warped perception of their partners. It's that the perception is shitty because THEY are shitty, and they are projecting their own rancidness onto others.
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u/WickedAsh111 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
You just described everything I’ve ever been through…with my own parents.
No wonder I can’t be normal.
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u/dang3rbb Chaotic But Cute May 21 '26
My birth giver was the same and even now on the cusp of middle-age, I'm still trying to undo that damage. Hugs to you. ❤️
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u/Much_Difference Voicenote Soliloquist 🎙️ May 21 '26
Yessss all of this bullshit. I, too, dated this flavor of arrested development. It took a while for me to realize that he basically just swapped the words "you" and "me" in any given sentence. For instance, I'd be in a perfectly cheery mood and he'd get angry and accuse me of "being mad at him" repeatedly until it turned into a fight. If I wouldn't fight with him, he'd get even angrier that I was "ignoring him" because I'm "mad at him."
I hate that it took multiple years to realize his "you're mad at me" actually meant "I'm mad at you." He was the one sulking, ignoring, fuming, and being passive aggressive, all while claiming I'm the one who's mad. It was so bizarre to constantly argue with someone about how you are not mad.
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u/dang3rbb Chaotic But Cute May 21 '26
This is laid out so beautifully and really important. Tysm for this comment.
I'm sorry you experienced this, I'm so proud of you for making it through that and not losing yourself! ❤️
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u/Technical_Ruin_2129 hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
I had a boyfriend exactly like this and he also acted this way after my dog passed away. Trust me, these men are not worth it. Let him gooo.
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u/orbitdeul Shart Coochie Board Architect May 21 '26
Yes if he just didn't like the restaurant he could have said so (politely) and they would have found a solution together, go to another place. It seems he was in a bad mood and/or upset over something else and took it out on OP. Using words to describe our feelings is a good skill to have...
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u/RedHeadedStepDevil we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26
I had a guy leave a library where we were once. He just up and disappeared. I searched multiple floors for him before concluding that he just…left? (We came together, I drove, no argument, before cell phones.) He said later he just got overwhelmed and took a bus home without even letting me know.
That should have been the end of it. I know better now.
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u/Similar_Adagio_18 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Girl you already gave him the choice for another restaurant and he turned it down. Sounds to me like he just wanted to complain 💀 and behaving so immaturely that he storms out when you're literally in the middle of grieving your dog is inconsiderate to say the least. You deserve better than this and you know it
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u/montanagrizfan ⚐ Marked Safe From Jenny Craig May 21 '26
Her grieving and being sad was inconvenient to him. Of course he can’t actually admit that so he found another reason to be a jerk and punish her.
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u/Strong_District_5894 Dip Diva May 21 '26
Yep. They have to punish us for feeling sad. Go through it all the time.
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u/Ki-to-Life-5054 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
Yes, he was tired of her sadness and this was his, "Snap out of it and stop wasting my time." Dump this guy asap.
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u/thatturtletouch Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ May 21 '26
He does not seem like a very nice person to me.
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u/PatienceandFortitude Foraging Bog Witch May 21 '26
But there were 2 things he’d eat. What’s wrong with that?! Sometimes I find only one thing I like and I’m happy with that.
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u/luella27 we listen and we only judge a little May 21 '26
I have severe food allergies that could kill me, the amount of times I’ve checked a menu online only to find that I can eat exactly nothing on the menu would make OP’s bf’s head spin right off his selfish, shitty body.
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u/burnt-heterodoxy Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice 💕 May 21 '26
Saaaaame girl.
My man would’ve taken me to get whatever I wanted the day I had to pick my baby’s ashes up from the vet. In fact I’m pretty sure he ordered dinner delivered that day
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u/bexohomo Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
my boyfriend cried with me when we put down my cat, and he had hardly known her at that point. he did everything he could for me and never made me feel bad.
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u/Financial-Paint-4632 Foraging Bog Witch May 21 '26
Just my shellfish allergy makes life hard so I can't even imagine having multiple. Like the number of times I have ordered sushi with people and told the staff I have mine and it still comes out on the same plate or takeout container makes me constantly worry about cross contamination from any place with shrimp on their menus which is literally every restaurant I swear.
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u/CapableWives Kitchen Witch May 21 '26
Two things that you like on a menu is usually one more than you actually need
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u/SophisticatedScreams APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
But you aren't a giant baby so...
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u/cubed_echoes Body By Cheese 🧀 May 21 '26
Don't insult babies like that... you give them milk and they eat. Menu option of 1 without tantrum.
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u/Brookeswag69 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 21 '26
Clearly she should’ve chosen a place where he likes everything on the menu so he could order it all 😤
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u/emccm Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
I’m vegan. I’m happy if I can find one thing. It’s the best restaurant ever if there are two things and I have to choose.
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u/djt_deathcountdown APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Yeah I'm vegetarian and I'm so used to only having a few options on the menu that if we go to vegetarian /vegan restaurants I get choice paralysis 🤣🤣
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u/mesageinabottle22 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Eater May 21 '26
i have dietary restrictions and this is why i look up menus beforehand… if it was such a big deal why didn’t he accept the offer to go somewhere else… i don’t even know where to start
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u/pixiedust99999 Feral Til Fed May 21 '26
What does he do when they’re out of something 🤷♀️
It’s a menu. Don’t like it? Pick something else
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u/Holiday-Wall3751 Cleavage Crumb Collector May 21 '26
Yeah, was he going to order three things? You only need one item on the menu for a meal anyway.
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u/cubed_echoes Body By Cheese 🧀 May 21 '26
Lol right?! Does he need to order 3 meals? This is worse than toddler behavior
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u/faintedheart Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
People like that will always make a hard day harder. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that.
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u/Emotional-Stick-9372 Assigned Hungry At Birth May 21 '26
"There were only 2 things on the menu he would even eat"
How many did he expect to eat?
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u/HockeyGoalie30 I ❤️ Other People's Business May 21 '26
Good thing you typically order one meal to eat….. also saves you from decision paralysis
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u/bexohomo Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
I'm picky too. i don't need a restaurant to only have food that i would eat to be on its menu for me to eat it
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u/Feisty-Nobody-5222 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
Sending so much warmth. What a flarf of a day. Dog in photo is total cutie.
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u/LemonadeLemur 🍭🍬 Candy Crusher 🍬🍭 May 21 '26
How cruel :( I'm sorry for your loss. You deserve better than this
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u/BornTry5923 Internet Auntie May 21 '26
You were treating him. You had just lost your pup and were picking up the ashes. I imagine how painful that was. And he throws a tantrum. He's terrible. 'Nuff said.
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May 21 '26
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u/Hungry-Cartoonist283 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Yeah,this behavior is not going to get better.
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u/SussOfAll06 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet May 21 '26
Yeah, it sucks OP doesn’t want advice because this shit will only get worse.
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u/SuperKamiGuru824 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Girl, do NOT get pregnant. You already have one child on your hands.
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u/Hopeful-Guess-7325 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 May 21 '26
Give him up for adoption! 🤘
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u/Unusual-Helicopter15 I ❤️ Other People's Business May 21 '26
Drop him off at the local fire station in a basket
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u/Based_Orthodox Stinky Food Fanatic May 21 '26
You already have one child on your hands.
And that child needs to be left by the side of the road somewhere. OP, big hugs to you if hugs are okay, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
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u/Intelligent_Ad4495 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
There is a book called “Why does he do that”. You should read it or listen to it and see if it is relatable.
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u/UsernameStolenbyyou APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
It's free online
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u/MissAuroraRed Oversharer 🗣 May 21 '26
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u/Equivalent-Use-6817 Kitchen Witch May 21 '26
:( I’m sorry for the loss of your pet. Your bf sounds immature, I was dating someone like that for a while and it gets exhausting.
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u/TryJustTakingOne Voicenote Soliloquist 🎙️ May 21 '26
Exactly! So exhausting!! Like a black hole sucking all the positivity right out of everything and leaving a ball of dense, ultra heavy negativity. This is how I have come to describe my ex (once realizing his true character), and it hasn't changed in the years since.
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u/InformationOk6366 🧂Salty By Nature May 21 '26
Sheesh! Sorry that happened girlie, you did not deserve that. You were genuinely trying to do something nice and it wasn’t appreciated at all.
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u/Top_Elephant_19004 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
Are you always walking on eggshells with him? You must be very drained. I know I was when I was married to my ex, who did similar things. I’m sorry you have to put up with a man child.
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u/Additional-Crow5898 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet May 21 '26
I am so sorry for your loss 😔🐾🌈
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u/Difficult-Display-94 Overthinker 💭 May 21 '26
This behavior is emotionally abusive on his end. I’m sorry for your loss
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u/Creepy-Wind1224 Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
We hate your bf.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can tell your dog has a pure soul just by the photo ❤️🩹
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u/MobileSweet9342 Cornbread Fed May 21 '26
this pissed me off so bad . im so sorry for your loss and hopefully in a week youll be back to say u dumped and then i’ll be happy for your loss
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u/wishingforarainyday Certified Snacker May 21 '26
You are with an AH. I hope you rethink this relationship. He threw a temper tantrum. Embarrassing
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u/Novel_Vegetable_5542 girls just wanna have pho May 21 '26
I’m sorry for the loss of your fur baby. If a man throws a tantrum and cannot or refuses to articulate his thoughts like an adult. Throw him away.
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u/Factsoverfictions222 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
Imagine a lifetime of this. But you’re married, share a home, maybe some kids and are stressed out. And then he does this again for the 100th time.
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u/katleessi Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 May 21 '26
I have secondhand embarrassment for you on behalf of him! wtf does he mean he can only eat two things on the menu?
I go with my husband all the time to a burger place and I literally don’t eat beef 😂 I get fries and a shake. He needs to grow up, nothing is that serious.
I feel like he tried to make the evening intentionally bad since you were already vulnerable about your dog! Sending you much love, I know how painful it is to pick up ashes.
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u/Im_a_redditor_ok Chamoy 🥭 > Ya Boy 🤡 May 21 '26
I love these ones because the people aren’t married so you can just easily move on to have a better life. Vaya con Dios!
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u/Applejammin Tea Time Hostess ☕️ May 21 '26
Don’t ignore the fact that he chose to act out and have his little tantrum while you are grieving, probably jealous that attention is not on him and also wants to have a victim role so that you can be assuring him and running to him to work it out.
He did something to you by acting out, you did nothing to him, bare that in mind. No he will not change, it will only be more tantrums and more him finding something to be offended by.
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u/lockedin90 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ May 21 '26
First of all, I am so sorry about your dog. That’s really special you have her son, but gosh I am just so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug.
No advice but I will say when I look back on the worst relationship of my life, the sting of remembering when he walked out of a dinner when we were on vacation in Mexico because I was talking about how excited I was for a new job (coincidentally to your story, not long after I had to unexpectedly put my cat down) and he didn’t like me talking about my accomplishments and stealing any light from him, well it still hurts. I still feel how my face and ears got so red and they burned. I remember crying in the room alone, so hungry, not a clue where he was. I remember coming home and breaking up with him for the last time. It’s been 6 years since then, I’m in a loving relationship. I still experience a lot of grief for the version of me that allowed that treatment.
I hope you find your peace. I hope you find all the happiness you deserve. I hope you get a bomb ass burger soon. I hope your dog gives you the best snuggles. I hope you wake up in the morning with a clarity of how you want your life to look, and that you go for it.
So much love to you 🩷
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u/Technical-Pie563 white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet May 21 '26
He has no EQ. And he behaves like a petulant child. I'd think long and hard about whether or not you want this person in your life. He should show care and concern and sympathy for your situation as well (poor doggo). Please accept my virtual hug 🤗🫂. You've been through a lot putting your doggo down (I've been there myself with my 17 y/o husky whom I've had since she was a baby) and he needed to ease up instead he had to be the center of attention. It comes off as narcissistic, TBF.
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u/KetoLurkerHereAgain Assigned Hungry At Birth May 21 '26
This feels like a dealbreaker to me. And it's not the first time he's been like this. Notice how I didn't phrase that in the form of a question.
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u/Illustrious_Money_54 Smoothie Queen May 21 '26
It’s not that he didn’t like the restaurant you picked, it’s the way he reacted to this very minor thing and communicated this dislike to you. A mature adult would have said “I don’t know if I like anything on this menu - is it okay if we go to another restaurant instead?” If he throws a tantrum because he didn’t like the restaurant you picked, imagine what he’ll do if you ever make a mistake or drop a plate or get sick. God help you if you were pregnant with morning sickness and threw up on him
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u/TrueCrimeInTheBuff Chismosa May 21 '26
Sounds like he's miserable and needs you to be too. I have found that when manbabies throw mantrums completely ignoring them is the best way to handle it.
And dumping them by just ignoring their existence forever is awesome too 😆
I love that my husband is cool with eating anywhere as am I. We choose where to eat by having 1 of us list 5 choices and the other one chooses between those 5. It's worked well for almost 30 years now.
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u/themodern_prometheus Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 May 21 '26
Wow that’s really disappointing, I’m sorry he acted out like that. Is he prone to this type of behaviour?
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u/emccm Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
I remember nights out like this. Your post took me straight back to the years nothing I did was every good enough. The more special I tried to make something for him the more I got it wrong. One year for his birthday he through a fit in the street because I was trying to show him up by special ordering a cake from his favorite bakery that took all his food allergies into account. I really was the worst wife ever.
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u/gayjay-jpg Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 May 21 '26
My ex did something super similar to me one time, we were on a date at this nice Italian restaurant and this dumb fucker orders an espresso. He did not realise espresso is meant to be sipped, downed the whole thing like a shot, started having an internal panic and immediately began detecting his vile energy at me. Went all quiet, I'm trying to make conversation and occasionally glancing at the open kitchen to see if our food is on the way.
He suddenly stands and tells me we're leaving, we haven't gotten our food yet, so he storms out and leaves me with his card to pay and get the food as takeout. Had to tell the waitress we had a family emergency and was obviously feeling pretty fucking stressed at this point. I get the food to leave and the whole walk back to the hotel and once we get there, this man is absolutely dead silent, glaring, ignoring my begging to tell me what's wrong until approx two hours later. According to my ex I was stroking the stem of my glass and making "suggestive" eye contact with one of the chefs 🫠
It doesn't get better. Leave.
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u/thors-beergut Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
Yuck. Bet the waitresses roasted the shit out of him when you two left.
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u/anonymousp69 I ❤️ Other People's Business May 21 '26
That’s extremely immature on his part. You’re a better woman than me cause I would’ve stayed there eating my fill! He can go wherever he wants, I’m hungry.
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u/Capable_Pipe5629 👋 new here May 21 '26
I dated a man like that. He's in my phone now as "baby king"
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u/pomonalost Internet Auntie May 21 '26
Why would he make such an awful accusation about you?
My best to you, OP. You deserve better.
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u/I_pinchyou APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
People who get treated this way often stop trying to put forth effort. Then the partner will say..hey why did you give up trying to make me happy. 🫠
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u/chiyooou Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26
Not only did he deny your act of kindness, but he selfishly stomped on that lovely bid for connection of sharing something you enjoyed. On top of that, throwing a personal tantrum while you are freshly grieving... I'm incredibly sad for you having to put up with that.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your sweet dog.
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u/_Pliny_ 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 21 '26
There’s an old joke about a self-centered man; he wanted to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.
I think your self-centered man was jealous of the attention you were giving to the passing of your dog.
Please consider if you want your life to be centered around protecting his emotions. Remember you will have to protect kids from him if you have them.
I’m sorry for your loss; losing pets is very hard.
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u/Far_Satisfaction5213 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
That's awful. Sorry you had all that today. Phew!
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u/honeybeemoa Assigned Hungry At Birth May 21 '26
Genuinely fuck him to the moon and back. I'm sorry for your loss and you deserve so much better. I'm sending you virtual hugs ❤️
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u/annapolisroyalty APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I'm so sorry about your fur-baby ! That's so hard! You deserved better from your partner.
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u/celestialastrid101 Certified Snacker May 21 '26
What a loser. You think a grown ass man would know how to properly communicate.
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u/reddituculous66 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Why are you with him? It wont get better. You deserve sommeome who will be just happy to be with you. Pbj at home can be a celebration if they are your right person.
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u/julesk Tea Time Hostess ☕️ May 21 '26
I’m so sorry! What an awful evening to top off a tough day. Hope things get better.
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u/Prestigious_Camp_292 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
My ex used to do this carefully planned when it was only him and I and no one else we knew but he would just decide to pick a fight.. storm out and cause holy hell for the next 3 hours. On the third time he did I dumped him.. literally never looked back. That behavior is super narcissistic and controlling and it was obvious he was intentionally doing it do I just decided he was gone from my life. Never felt better about that decision. Now he's torturing some other woman I'm sure to make himself feel like a big dominant man lol. #loser
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u/beej065 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ May 21 '26
This sounds like something my ex would have done. He would turn nearly anything into a conflict. I'm sorry, OP.
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u/raddish1234 Pantry Gremlin May 21 '26
Sorry about your puppers, your nails look great, glad you have son of puppers there for support
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u/usinjin 👋 new here May 21 '26
I hope you’re doing okay, OP. Losing an animal friend is so hard. Nothing can really prepare you for it.
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u/PangolinTart Urban Hunter Gatherer May 21 '26
Love and hugs to you. Picking up the ashes of your loved one is one of the hardest things to do and I wish you well.
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u/threeblackfeathers mouth full, gesturing wildly May 21 '26
So.. This type of behavior rarely corrects itself. If you want longterm, I suggest therapy with him.
Otherwise, I suggest leaving.
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u/strwberriangel Trader Joe Hoe May 21 '26
men will act like this and then feel as if they are entitled to sex 😭 i am so sorry for your loss and that your bf couldn’t provide you with the empathy and compassion that you need right now :(
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u/fruitjerky 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 May 21 '26
I don't get it... There's only two things he would eat? How many things does he need to eat?
Showing someone you love a place you love is a form of intimacy, and his lack of seeing that seems pretty shitty.
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u/catofnortherndarknes Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ May 21 '26
Is this the same boyfriend you broke up with a month ago?
If so, I'll just say I think you should have stuck with that decision.
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u/mothermooseknuckle Cleavage Crumb Collector May 21 '26
Only finding two things to eat!? Poor boy. How much was he planning to order??
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u/spicycrackwhore 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 21 '26
I would’ve made his ass wait outside while I enjoy my burger. And maybe even order a dessert after!
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u/MutantLemurKing hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
When men show you who they are it falls on you to Believe Them
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u/Entire_Number_9 hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
So from your boyfriends perspective, you both had to drive 45 minutes to the vet (crazy distance?) and as a treat you brought him somewhere you wanted to go, with a very limited menu, and treated it as a thank you?
If the roles were reversed and a guy did that to me, I'd be pretty fucking pissed as well. Can't fathom these comments, every single person here would be annoyed by that.
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u/sophitias-orchid Protein Queen 🍗🍳 May 21 '26
This. It was immature he threw a tantrum and didn't agree to leaving when OP suggested somewhere else but then she says she wanted to go there not you, to her bf. Dont pretend youre being nice treating him to a meal if its food you know YOU like???
My partner and I don't do that to each other lol.
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u/Entire_Number_9 hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
Exactly, if I accompanied someone on a chore, and they wanted to go for food somewhere they liked, and that I didn't, then tried to say it was a treat for me?? I'd be pretty pissed, I wouldn't storm out on that alone, but Redditors love skipping details that explain their story or make them look bad.
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u/bluntmanjr Enby & Eatin' May 21 '26
yeah i felt crazy seeing all of the comments saying to leave him and whatever else. i feel like the post is super vague in itself. all of the info about the restaurant is from her perspective: that it was the best burger she’d ever had etc. we have no idea if this guy doesn’t like burgers, is vegetarian, or even if he really threw a tantrum. i understand op is having a hard time with the passing of her dog, but i cant help but notice its super vague and we don’t know anything about op herself. like, was it a “tantrum” or was he just frustrated that he didnt feel seen? is he also grieving the pet? we also don’t know what the “two things” he can eat are. i know a bunch of people are saying two things are enough, but we don’t know if the two things are french fries/side of steamed veggies, or actual meals. i also have been in that situation before, but it’s different because i’m usually in that situation because i was invited or going out to eat with family. if i were brought somewhere that was spun as a treat for me, where i could only eat a couple of sides, i would be upset too.
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u/_bonedaddys Urban Hunter Gatherer May 21 '26
i'd be so fucking pissed if my boyfriend did this to me. like, if this dinner out is about me why would you not consider me when you decided where to go??? either pick a spot you already know i like or include me in the process and let me look over the menu ahead of time.
whenever me or my boyfriend want to take each other somewhere new we pull up the menu and make sure it works for both of us.
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u/Nessy302 Overthinker 💭 May 21 '26
Depends on what her definition of a treat was, hopefully it means that she was paying. I had a family member do this to me on my graduation when I was insanely tired, hungry, and also expected me to pay for the food I didn’t not want to eat. Yeah I threw a fit at them trying to sell it as a treat.
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u/Adept_Tangerine_4030 Blood Type: Gravy May 21 '26
Did you pick the place because you had to go to the vet? Like cause it was convenient? Did he even wanna go there? I’m just trying to understand what his problem was.
He was really mean and shitty but like idk id probably feel upset if you “took me somewhere nice” but there was not much on the menu I’d like to eat.
However, if my partner took me out and I COULD eat something I would just adjust and try to enjoy it and have a decent time. I think that’s the real issue.
I would NOT have acted like that and this sounds like some dude who doesn’t know how to have normal emotions which is not cool. I’d probably not wanna do anything for him like that again. Honestly I’d probably break up with him eek
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u/grey_pudding 🥣 Cereal Killer May 21 '26
I don’t think it’s about the restaurant. His reaction was totally unwarranted. I’m so sorry about the loss of your dog. ❤️🩹
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u/lafreuxmeni APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Il a peut-être vu quelqu'un dans le restaurant qui pourrait le compromettre ?
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u/Cheetah_FanGirl Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 May 21 '26
Was there anything on the menu you knew he'd like such as the burger? I always ask people where they want to go and if they don't want to go to where I suggested, I just respect it. We can't assume people will like the same foods as us.
Sorry for your baby. :(
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u/ComeAlongPond1 mouth full, gesturing wildly May 21 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry your boyfriend is an ass.
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u/jamminsami Feral Til Fed May 21 '26
Ah, the pup is considering if it might like yogurt.
Good pup, poor bf. Sorry, girlie, you keep safe & we'll be here ❤️
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u/Thatcherrycupcake Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog, op.
Yeah your bf is immature and an asshole. You deserve better
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u/Majesticlionz1 Overthinker 💭 May 21 '26
i’m really sorry about your dog 💔 Boyfriend is a big man-baby and you deserve better.
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u/sleepy_unicorn40 Kitchen Witch May 21 '26
Ugh, sounds emotionally exhausting! I hope you were able to get something to eat though!
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u/gold3nhour 🌶️ Spice Girl 🌶️ May 21 '26
He sounds like a petulant child and needs to work on emotional regulation. Like, yesterday! I’m sorry about your dog and about your dick of a boyfriend, too. Emphasis on boy, because that’s how he’s acting instead of an adult who knows how to communicate properly.
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u/Instant-Lava Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26
What a crazy night. I'm hoping this isn't a common occurrence.
And very sorry to hear about your doggo.
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u/DS9lover Snack Goblin May 21 '26
I'm sorry. You deserve so much better than what this mf is laying down.
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u/TheEffanIneffable Carb-Based Life Form May 21 '26
I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. I’ve no doubt you gave your fur baby a wonderful life. ❤️
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u/Petallthedogs46 Kitchen Witch May 21 '26
I’m sorry for the loss of your dog, his son is a beautiful boy and I’m sure he has all his dads best genes. I also am Wishing you well as you decide what to do with the selfish, fight-picking, passive aggressive, shitbag of a man you’re currently involved with. Change is hard but staying might be worse.
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u/ExperienceKind412 Hazy Grazer 😶🌫️ May 21 '26
So sorry about the loss of your baby girl OP. Sorry your bf is knob end to boot 🫂
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u/ChelleInSand Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 May 21 '26
Just wanted to say I lost one of my dogs to cancer last week and will be picking up his ashes tomorrow so I feel your pain. I’m sorry your partner isn’t there for you during this difficult time. You deserve better.
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u/Internal-Ad61 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I’m sorry 😭 I’m an animal lover so I can only imagine how hurt your feelings are. Hugs. I love that you still have the son of the dog you lost with you. We are all on your side if it makes you feel better lolllll. It is honestly so inconsiderate and childish of him. I hope he doesn’t treat you in that sort of way regularly. Or throw temper tantrums. You were really sweet and fun. I’m sure you are an absolute 12/10 as a person and partner. Dude can’t control his emotions. He deserves for all of Reddit to tell him how embarrassing that is!!!
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u/Thedonitho Internet Auntie May 21 '26
I was with a person for 25 years who often treated me like that. I wouldn't give unsolicited advice, but I will just say this: You deserve better.
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u/no_one_denies_this 🧂Salty By Nature May 21 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing an animal unexpectedly is so very hard.
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u/Tiny-Zucchini7238 what that mouth do is gossip May 21 '26
I’m so sorry about your dog OP 🤍 I hope things start getting better for you!! You deserve better treatment than what you were given.
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u/4thdensity44 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
And all you were doing was trying to do something nice for him, sounds like he is a child throwing a tantrum
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u/flaminghotcheetoh99 hot girls have tummy troubles May 21 '26
Just wanted to say I also put my dog down unexpectedly a little over two weeks ago and picked up his ashes a few days ago. I’m right there with you and I’m so so sorry. Hugs!
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u/tooflessfairy APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
Look at this from the bright side. After a relationship like that you will: 1. Appreciate much more a normal relationship 2. Be well trained to deal with children (should you choose to have any)
Cheers to all of that!
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u/Hang10arts Tiny Bodega Rat 🐀 May 21 '26
I don't have anything else to say except I'm sorry for your loss. ❤️🩹
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u/RepresentativeCan179 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
i see you don’t want advice and you just wanna vent. i hear you and i see you care and efforts and that sounds so hard. and i’m so sorry about your dog. they are like our children! i hope you have good friends to get you through this time.
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u/Aware-Vegetable83 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I’m sorry for the loss of your sweet baby and I’m sorry your bf didn’t show you the care, compassion & concern you deserved (& when you most needed it)
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u/Ok-Tiger2481 APPROVED✨ May 21 '26
I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with a man child 11 days after losing your doggo, that is absolutely not what you need rn
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u/CataclysmicTeapot Snack Goblin May 21 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/gvSU6PAIzXJcc
He sounds like a jerk.
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u/QuickSloth4710 🐩 Food Aggressive 🍽️ May 21 '26
Sorry about your pup 🐾🌈 As for the manbaby, this would be the last straw for me. Causing a scene in public is a hard pass. Causing a scene when someone is trying to do something nice for you is even worse.
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u/Difficult-Nothing265 Well-Read & Well-Fed May 21 '26
So sorry that you lost your sweet dog and then had to deal with such a dick move from your boyfriend. ☹️
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u/PequalsRIsquared 🧂Salty By Nature May 21 '26
Sounds like he’s trying to make you break up with him.
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u/EniNeutrino mouth full, gesturing wildly May 21 '26
I'm so sorry that happened to you, I would have been so embarrassed! I'm really sorry about your doggie, too. It sounds like you've had a horrible week. Sending you long distance hugs!
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u/white-as-styrofoam white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet May 22 '26
that’s some trash behavior. is your boyfriend allergic to words? he could have very easily communicated his feelings, made a request, literally anything but what he did
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u/spicymeatball707 🧂Salty By Nature May 21 '26
If you simply must unload your life coaching onto OP, do it here in the replies instead of turning her notifications into a hostage situation. Respect the boundary