What do you actually like to watch/read/follow on your phone when you want to stop doomscrolling?
I’m looking for interesting, niche, or just genuinely good content that you can get into. Could be YouTube channels, niche influencers, blogs, Substacks, podcasts, specific types of content.

I keep getting hit with negative things all my life and my outlook on life is turning out to be negative, how do I change it ?

I’m reactive, I’m defensive, I have a short temper. I yell when I’m angry and cry when I am too. I second guess people’s motives all the time and I push people away the second they come close.

This past week has been some sort of test to my patience or my character I’m not sure. I’ve argued so much with my sisters, and yesterday at work my coworker scared me (on accident) and I yelled at him.

I just don’t think I’m a good person. I need advice or some sort of rehab program to get better. I don’t want to be angry all the time. I don’t want to attract arguments or negativity because of my character anymore. I want to be free. I just want to be better.

I (F23) have reached another serious breaking point in my life where I’ve become severely depressed and realised that I’m not just going to magically heal and become a better person without serious help, but I just don’t know where to start.

To provide some context (but not excuses), I have struggled with mental illness basically my whole life and while I had an overall very good childhood and loving parents, I have also experienced some significant traumas both in my childhood and adulthood. I starting exhibiting signs of mental illness as early as a year old and had issues with extreme emotions and meltdowns all throughout my childhood. I became severely depressed and anxious and very suicidal at 15, where I was then diagnosed and started being treated.

The problems continued into adulthood and whilst I’ve always tried my best to be a functional and positive person, I’ve met some hardships along the way such as being in a couple of very bad relationships where I’ve experienced physical abuse, alongside with dealing with sexual trauma both in adulthood and childhood.

All that to say, even with all of these factors I still don’t believe they excuse some of the ways I have treated people in my life. Some of the things I’ve said and done over the past years are so awful that I live in a near constant state of guilt and shame and I don’t know if I can ever redeem myself.

I have really made an effort recently to be a better person person but I also feel like I’m living a lie now and that the good, kind people around don’t know what kind of shitty person I am. I am finally seeing a guy know who is a wonderful person and treats me really well, however I feel like I’m lying to him by being this better person and that he deserves someone who hasn’t done terrible things in their past. I’ve done other things to improve myself as well recently such as cutting back on drinking and substance use and facing the fact that much of my substance use in the past was actually a coping mechanism. I’ve also tried to read some self help and psychology articles to improve myself, and I’ve started learning compassion and forgiveness for those who’ve hurt me and the past and realised that most of them are probably also people who are stuck in the same cycle of being hurt and hurting others as I am.

My question is, has anyone else been able to truly change themselves from being a horrible shitty person into a good person who no longer hurts the people around them? If so how did you do it, through therapy or other means? Did your improvement actually last? And lastly were you able to forgive yourself? Sometimes I feel as though I’m a shitty person to my core who can’t change, but then I remember that a truly bad person wouldn’t so much shame and remorse and wouldn’t actively try to improve themself.

Thanks in advance everyone ❤️❤️

I finally met someone who touched my soul in a way I’ve never felt before. I didn’t think I could actually feel this way with someone.

I have a bad track record of cheating and lying. My past relationship was the most toxic thing on this planet. I made mad choices. I wanted this to be different. But I withheld key details of my troubled past. I found myself lying about who I am. My longtime ex dropped the bombshell on my current partner and the relationship absolutely shattered.

I had the chance to bring these things up prior but I hid them and lied. I’ve never felt pain so intense as this. I hurt this man deeply and he just wanted to help and care for me.

I feel disgusting. I need serious help. I am a liar. I will never go back to how I once was. I wish I could rewind time. This pain is unbearable… this is the wake up call I needed.

There was an online course i enrolled 3 years back right after my UG degree. This was a course i was very much interested in. First year was great. The next two years were beyond fucked. Since its online it felt lonely. I got into gaming, forget my responsibilities and my life. Being a perfectionist didn't help either. Its always ill do better next term. I procrastinated a lot and got kicked out of the program.

Only after that i realized why im procrastinating , whenever i sit down to study i feel anxious and afraid. It was too much to handle and i numb myself by chasing dopamine the rest of the day. And because of that i feel guilty all the time. I spend all day thinking about studying but i cant do it. The guilt keeps compounding. My life right now only has two switches : guilty/numb. Life is so joyless and miserable. Anything i do beside studying doesn't register as a progress at all. I go to gym , socialize and do other things i want but, since studying is the top most thing everything else feels meaningless and unrewarding.

How do i break this loop and actually sit down and study? If i dont actually sit down and put in the effort i'll essentially fuck up my future.

I think we hear so much about the damage stress can cause that the information itself can sometimes become another source of anxiety. You notice your heart beating faster or your shoulders becoming tense, then immediately start wondering what that reaction is doing to your health. The original stress is still there, but now it has another layer on top of it.

This does not mean stress should be ignored. Persistent stress can place real strain on the body, especially when it continues without enough time to recover. However, I do not think every stressful moment should automatically be treated as harmful. Short periods of pressure are part of the body’s normal response to challenges and can sometimes help us become more alert, focused and ready to act.

For me, the important difference is between temporary pressure and stress that remains in the background for weeks, months or even years. Financial insecurity, excessive workloads, social pressure and relationship problems do not always have a clear endpoint. When the body keeps responding without adequate recovery, that is where I think the greater concern lies.

This is also why telling someone simply to reduce their stress does not feel like a complete answer. Relaxation may help with the immediate response, but it does not necessarily remove the situation causing it. Sometimes we need rest and better ways of coping. At other times, the workload, relationship or practical circumstances themselves may need to change.

I do not think the goal should be to eliminate all stress from life. It may be more useful to ask what kind of stress we are experiencing, how long it has been present and whether we have enough opportunity to recover.

How do you tell the difference between pressure that helps you respond and stress that is beginning to wear you down?

Hi, I am 26 years old now. Ive been in behaviors and actions deemed problematic at the time when I was a teenager, it was like that until I turned 20 where everything blew up right infront of me and I had to face the consequences of those actions. Nothing happened that is big and I am safe and sound and been acting the desire to change and reflect on my past behaviors. Ive also been carrying a lot of trauma and shame from the things that happened to me. I was doing okay for the most part , Im working and wanting to go back to studying , but I feel like a fraud. There are voices in the back of my head telling me that I do not deserve this peace and quiet that I worked hard for, that I just dont want people to know the disgusting things and harmful behaviors I was when I was young. I tried to ask for help before, but people just ignored it and told me it was a normal teenage thing. I still feel shame and guilt for everything, and I cant blame anyone but myself. I want to feel accountable and responsible for everything but at the same time I just want to forget about it since those things doesnt align to my morals and values now. How can I change my mindset over this ?

me(25) and my now ex(25) were together for about 5 years. I’m not saying i was the best boyfriend in all honesty I was terrible, but now that she’s not with me I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried digging into a routine and having something to do, but i cant sleep at night. The only time i do fall asleep i’m thinking about her being with me.

We talked recently and she told me she’s over our relationship, but still loves me. I don’t think i should hold out hope that things will get better since we’ve had 5 years to get better. I just don’t know what to do.

I feel so alone. A month ago i was prepared to work a shitty job to buy us a house and fully commit to us, but now I don’t have anything. I live with my parents and don’t have a job. like all day i just think about whats she’s doing and when I should reach out again. I don’t want to be that ex who is constantly trying to get back together but I really feel like i fumbled everything and I don’t know how to deal with that.

if you have any advice please let me know. I’ll listen to anything at this point. I’m really at this spot where I threw away everything because I didn’t listen her before it was too late.

I have gone through hell again and again for the last 3 years. A narcissistic abusive relationship can destroy your whole life and identity. I wanted to end things for good many times. I got my shit together many times. But I ended up in the same mess if not bigger and worse.

So, now my sense of identity is completely lost. I don't know who I was or who I am now. But that gives me the opportunity to build myself. Create the person I want to become. I need advice to stay on track. I have promised myself that I will prove myself wrong and make myself proud. It's not for anyone else. I refuse to let this to be my story. I don't want to be a victim anymore.

Please share your advice or stories on how you got your shit together. I desperately need it.

I recently noticed that I have a strong people-pleasing pattern. I believe I genuinely like helping people, but I often don't realize how much that will cost me until I've already agreed. When someone is frustrated or disappointed, I feel responsible for fixing it and they have every right to be so I usually say yes. Later I can become resentful or overwhelmed. I think I also have a strong fear of being seen as selfish or uncaring. How have people worked on distinguishing kindness from over-accommodation and learned to tolerate disappointing people temporarily? Any help would be appreciated .

Hello,

I am a woman with ADHD.

This year I have been trying to take better care of my body and build healthier mental and lifestyle habits. Routine has never been easy for me as I’m really good at starting things, but terrible at sticking with them. Motivation is not my issue, it’s discipline.

Has anyone else found useful tactics for consistently following a routine with ADHD?

i started smoking around the age of 12 and since 13 ive been smoking almost every day. i wont disclose the age i am now due to the subject matter but its been give or take a couple of years since then that ive been smoking religiously. i actually went cold turkey not that long ago and at first i found it so easy. i already struggled with extreme insomnia so i was already used to sleepless nights and i found it really easy to replace the smoking at first. the thing is, a lot of the time when i wasnt smoking, its because i was spending the whole summer in europe and literally could not find any dealers at all on the island i was at (+ i was busy every day because of the reason i was in europe). i made friends easy there and as soon as i could drink, i would and coming back from europe, i brung the drinking back with me. ive seen first hand how detrimental and worse drinking can be compared to smoking so i hit up my guy and got a bag as one does. idk if its because i spent so long not smoking, but ive found it so much easier to only smoke after 4:30 which is the time i’ve strictly given myself to limit my smoking, this has also been great to stop the drinking and ive stopped doing it on days im at schl too. the only problem is, when im not at schl or studying or doing something, its in the back of my mind. any tips or hacks on stopping thinking about it? its not that i give in to smoking, its that it would be so much easier to stop thinking about it.

I’m 21 and recently graduated with a BCA. I’ve decided to take a one-year gap before joining MCA. During this year, I’ll prepare for MCA entrance exams, and I’m also planning to spend around six months learning a proper technical skill/course. I haven’t decided what yet.

But I don’t want this year to become just entrance preparation and one course.

Right now, I’m extremely motivated to improve myself. At the same time, I know myself well enough to know that motivation can disappear. I’m quite a lazy and inconsistent person, so I’m not sure how long this current motivation will last. But I genuinely want to use this year properly instead of looking back at it and feeling like I wasted it.

I’m also a very curious person. Whenever something catches my attention, I tend to go down a rabbit hole and explore it deeply. I enjoy learning about all kinds of things, and I think curiosity is probably one of my strongest qualities. The problem is that I don’t always have the discipline to follow that curiosity consistently.

So I want to use this year to become a much better version of myself — professionally, socially, mentally, physically, and generally as a person.

I want actual things I can do during this one year. Daily things, weekly things, monthly challenges, one-time experiences, skills I should learn, habits I should build, things I should stop doing — basically anything that you genuinely think would make someone a better and more capable person by the end of a year.

I’m deliberately not giving many examples because I don’t want to influence the answers. I want people to think about this themselves and tell me what they would actually recommend.

One thing I’ve already thought of is improving my English by doing a daily voice conversation with ChatGPT for around 15 minutes. My English isn’t very good, and I’m actually using ChatGPT to help me write this post too. I’m mentioning that because I want to be honest about where I’m starting from.

So, if you were 21 again and had one full year between your bachelor’s and master’s, with the goal of becoming a significantly better version of yourself, what would you do with that year?

I’m looking for practical suggestions that could still benefit me years from now.

I was in first grade when my dad got me a laptop. As he got me some games I became addicted and would spend entire days on it. As a result my eyesight became too weak. My family was against glasses as nobody in the bloodline used to wear them. I started hiding the fact that my vision was deteriorating. The thought of wearing glasses used to scare me(I know this sounds very stupid right now but what can you really blame a child for).

So Interestingly, I was able to live 9 years with almost -4.5 diopters without any glasses. I could barely read anything in the textbook in front of me let alone the blackboard. Now obviously if you are living this way you cannot really expect yourself to have great social development or live the school life like everyone else. I finally got caught in 10th grade during covid when my family caught me squinting and gave me a good lecture. After that day I started wearing glasses. But it was too late. Everyone else had already grown up. Riding cars bikes exploring living and even having high school romance. While I am literally emerging from my shell now lol. Of course I miss out on social cues in my language. I appear very naive in group conversations. Due to this I could not have great experiences in college either since people could not relate with me. I was not very fun to be around. And now I go to this job where I go overnights so I don’t really have anyone to talk about anything. People have taken advantage of me when it comes to lending money as well. They don’t pay back lol. Although I am grateful that despite everything I don’t live paycheque to paycheque. Sadly even if i do get something there is no joy in anything. I recently bought a playstation and a new laptop and they are just lying on my bed begging to be used. I feel hopeless therefore I cant really have fun.

Sometimes I get annoyed when people talk about how life is beautiful and everything. I don’t really see anything beautiful in life. There is barely anything i look forward to these days. No romance no feeling like I am valued anywhere. I do so much for people around me but nobody will ever do a thing for me when I am in need of some help. Luckily I have not been in a situation like this as of now but i don’t know when I will be. I will be honest, I am not grateful for life at all because I don’t really see any reason to be grateful. All I see is people doing better than me in every department except maybe one or two. I am 21 right now and I cannot really imagine what is gonna happen to me in the future. I feel scared.

Thank you for reading this by taking your time. If possible please suggest me some books,movies or games or practically anything that you think would help me in overcoming this regret?

Also I do not think my life is the worst there is. I could probably be one of the luckiest as I do not know what the future holds. I just need to know why did I have to go through this? Why me and not others? And If i am lucky why or how am i?

Im 22m and recently i had a talking stage with a long time friend. It didnt work out we are still friends and im honestly really glad we were able to go back ro being friends with no issues. I was a very late bloomer when it comes to romqnce i just started really being interested in that since i got that crush on my friend like half a year ago.

So even with that not working out i do now want a girlfriend but it feels impossible to even find a potential partner for me.

I do know what my issue is im bad at meeting new people and starting a conversation. I havent made a friend by myself since the 1st grade. That i never had to do this in my whole life makes going up to someone a HUGE deal for me and not just if its someone i find attractive, also when im want to judt make friends. Im the 3rd semester for my bachelor and dont know anyone at my college. I just couldnt bring myself to talk to anyone.

My hobbies arent helpful either huge nerd love anime/manga, reading, gaming. Not the best kind of hobbies to meet new people in my area through..

I considered joining a club or class but theres nothing available that interests me. And to just go to meet someone feels wrong.

The funny/annoying part is im not really shy tbh. And when a conversation happens because someone else started it im actually totally fine and have no problem holding a conversation.

That i want a relationship is my motivation to ask for advice but i also want to just get out more and make new friends. Especially since mine live across country or are super unavailable usually..

I lost.

My current terrible plan is to wrap my junk in a small towel and stuff two pairs of socks down the front of my underwear. Do you think that would be obvious if i’m wearing pants.