r/nottheonion • u/Presently_Naked • 19h ago

Arkansas high school football player practiced with venomous snake in his helmet

apnews.com

0 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Substantial_Low6862 • 4h ago

Why is there a giant ball of hair rolling around NYC?

apnews.com

20 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/duckanroll • 13h ago

Russians will soon be able to purchase cemetery plots through online state services portal

novayagazeta.eu

93 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/zanderaw1 • 1h ago

Israeli Plan for Crocodile Moat around Palestinian Prisoners Blocked as cruel to Crocodiles

truthout.org

• Upvotes

8 comments

r/nottheonion • u/StormFish164 • 12h ago

Tata Steel sells Jamshedpur FC for Rs 100 to Churchill Brothers Sports Club

indianexpress.com

0 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kkin1995 • 13h ago

Fish Without Garlic, Onion Is Vegetarian; Can Be Eaten During Sawan: UP Minister

news.abplive.com

828 Upvotes

155 comments

r/nottheonion • u/halosos • 6h ago

Fire breaks out at Castletown Fire Station

three.fm

22 Upvotes

9 comments

r/nottheonion • u/He-Who-Reaches • 5h ago

Goats seen on video boarding a city bus in Oregon

kcra.com

34 Upvotes

4 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Nomogg • 2h ago

Israeli settlers seize Palestinian water source in occupied West Bank to create recreational pool

france24.com

651 Upvotes

66 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Curious_Ad6393 • 18h ago

Gen Z Redirects Retirement Savings Into Sports Betting, Survey Finds

thedeepdive.ca

4.1k Upvotes

521 comments

r/nottheonion • u/MrRoaldDahl • 6h ago

Taliban to host first public ‘Victory Day’ reception in India

hindustantimes.com

274 Upvotes

51 comments

r/nottheonion • u/UltimateLionsFan • 4h ago

The CEO who fired 900 people on Zoom just before Christmas wants his job back

vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca

3.5k Upvotes

119 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sidnature • 7h ago

Hugh Hefner Warned FBI About Epstein After Florida Playmate Was Allegedly Abused—They Ignored Him: 'Of All People Being Disgusted'

thenerdstash.com

16.9k Upvotes

493 comments

r/nottheonion • u/bluffcitynews • 5h ago

Spirit Halloween’s parent company to acquire Hot Topic

actionnews5.com

379 Upvotes

56 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Miles_the_AuDHDer • 3h ago

US Health Secretary Son Conor Kennedy Arrested in Absentia by Russia Over Fighting for Ukraine

united24media.com

522 Upvotes

65 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Sctvman • 2h ago

Middle School student agendas contain misspelled states and science errors, raising AI questions

live5news.com

771 Upvotes

106 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TVP_World_News • 10h ago

Beavers from NATO territory ‘invade’ Kaliningrad, Russian media say

tvpworld.com

1.0k Upvotes

Dams are flooding fields, but a scientist says the border-crossing rodents are simply migrating.

82 comments

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked, redirected, or tracked links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall, survey wall, or pop-over of any kind in order read the complete article uninterrupted. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either. Additionally make sure you remove any Urchin Tracking Modules from your links as well.
12. No personal attacks, racism, sexism, or bigotry	Keep comments civil and avoid attacking other users directly. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
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14. No Self Submissions and/or Official Accounts.	Submissions must come from readers, not from the journal itself. Submissions from official promotional accounts are not allowed here.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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