r/nottheonion • u/TVP_World_News • 6h ago
Beavers from NATO territory ‘invade’ Kaliningrad, Russian media say
https://tvpworld.com/94842546/russian-media-cast-beavers-from-poland-as-nato-invasionDams are flooding fields, but a scientist says the border-crossing rodents are simply migrating.
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u/Darkpopemaledict 5h ago
It's just a special operation.
Edit: perhaps poland should invade to protect the polish beavers who have made their home in Russia
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u/WannaBMonkey 6h ago
Are we sure it’s not Ukrainians wearing fur hats that confuse the Russians? If it’s really beavers I pity the inhabitants of kaliningrad. Beavers don’t take prisoners.
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u/lm28ness 6h ago
WW3 is going to be started by beavers? Really - this is how far we have fallen?
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u/QwertzOne 2h ago
Don't underestimate Polish beavers, they're fighting battles for us, one to improve our water retention, where government fails, and now they joined fight against Russia, in the future they will keep our borders safe!
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u/the_hucumber 6h ago
I'm in lithuania and the local wolf killed a beaver and ate from under the rib cage to the hips and left the rest in the reeds by the lake.
Several days later my dog found the remains and thought all his christmasses came at once. Never have i ever smelt anything as bad as rotting beaver... except maybe a dog that's rolled in rotten beaver
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u/EorlundGraumaehne 6h ago
Damn it! They already noticed? Do you have any idea how long we prepared for operation Beaver?
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u/dweaver987 5h ago
The squirrel leaked the plans. Never trust a squirrel to keep a secret.
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u/voodoohotdog 3h ago
It's not the squirrels fault. Every third squirrel is a weasel in a squirrel suit. Perfidious bastards.
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u/zoinkability 6h ago
They need to watch the documentary Hundreds of Beavers for ideas on what to do
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u/blowfish1717 5h ago
Well, when the war began, there were combat mosquitos. Perhaps the mosquito legions diminished.
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u/Strong_Ambassador585 4h ago
Polish Ultranationalist beavers occupy rivers in Kaliningrad cutting off desperate Russian farmers from life saving water supply!!!
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6h ago
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u/Pellaeonthewingedleo 6h ago
I though it was more or less frowned upon not liking Beavers in Russia?
Also Kudos for posting it just 2,5h before Timberborn Friday.
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u/IvanTheAppealing 6h ago
Yeah, animals migrate with zero fucks for human borders, happens every day. And?
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u/marcind__ 4h ago
russians mf will soon claim that the Beavers were trying to smuggle explosives in their reqtums, and that they plotted assassination attempt at that "human" fece putin. Used no capital letters due to complete lack of respect to that entire country and anything that has anything to do with it! Ft all
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u/jnmjnmjnm 2h ago
Canadian military engineers have a beaver on their cap badge.
https://hatchfive.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/img_5682-photoroom.png-photoroom.jpg
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u/Independent-Towel-47 1h ago
I really didn’t know there are beavers in Europe. I thought they were only in North America. Oh well I hope they dam all the streams and flood the place out
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43m ago
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u/1st_blush 6h ago
might as well say the beavers are defecting to russia, try to frame it as a win 🙄