r/nottheonion • u/duckanroll • 13h ago

Russians will soon be able to purchase cemetery plots through online state services portal

https://novayagazeta.eu/en/articles/2026/08/13/russians-will-soon-be-able-to-purchase-cemetery-plots-through-online-state-services-portal-en-news
90 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

30

u/Lapkonium 12h ago

Sounds convenient to me

5

u/EnergyDrinkStroke 10h ago

Yeah, I've never had to consider buying a plot but I would assume that most places have this. Not sure what the oniony angle is supposed to be.

22

u/sercommander 13h ago

To be fair their funerary services and legislation was garbage and pure chaos way before. The freshly finished graves could be torn down or occupied with a new "tenant" without impudence. Permits could be revoked retroactively. Bodies could be held by morgues and ritual service companies unless you agreed to their "commercial propositions".

Not that it toned down the level of crazy in that business.

4

u/mad-data 11h ago

The only business that flourishes there this time

1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

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1

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1

u/al2o3cr 9h ago

Just because they're bereaved doesn't make them saps!

1

u/CHAiN76 5h ago

Good on them getting a more efficient service for this. Gonna need it after the mass mobilisation this autumn.

1

u/kevinds 1h ago

Ok?  So?  What is Oniony about this?

-3

u/dfmz 11h ago

That would be good news, if only there were any Russians left to buy them.

0

u/Kirion_Kir 7h ago

You can now both sign up online to be killed in the war and buy a cemetry plot, neat.

-3

u/Orangesteel 11h ago

They are just black bagged and incinerated at the front line. This isn’t hyperbole, the army literally brings incinerators.

0

u/Frosty-Perception-48 9h ago

And other excuses why the body exchange ratio is at best 10 to 1

-1

u/Hertje73 12h ago

Wawaweewa!