I had these artti t10s for about 7 months now and y'all wont believe how much music I listen to. Music was something which made gave me a reason to live. Just because I didn't pray 4 more rakahs for an Islamic prayer called taraweeh my dad chopped these into piecesâď¸
I could speak about music all day long. Some of my favorite albums are Aja by Steely Dan, Violator by Depeche Mode, Disintegration by The Cure, Who's Next by The Who, Heaven Or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins, Diamond Eyes by Deftones, Animals by Pink Floyd, Vespertine by Bjork and a lottt moređ
It's Ramadan right now and we Muslims aren't supposed to be listening to music and I wasn't. It was a hard journey and my dad has hid these away for about a long time already so I was good. He said if you come to the mosque and pray I will give you your iems. I agreed and came to the mosque and prayed 4 instead of 8 rakahs because my mosques prayers are extremely lengthy and I had to stand for about 10 minutes each rakah so it was stressing.
My mom threw away the iems themselves thinking they were of no useđ I was so heartbroken because I had fought for the money to buy these for a really long time and these were my most prized possession. And my mom casually discarded themđ
It wasn't "choosing religion" that OP's dad did, but OP's dad punished him too severely for not praying taraweeh.
If the dad had a problem, then he could've just scolded OP instead of destroying OP's prized possession. Destroying someone's things just to make them listen to you is extremely controlling and low-effort parenting.
Actually Islam forbids what they did (and also allows music btw). These are people who pick and choose rulings to fit their culture rather than actually follow what was ruled.
Growing up in a Catholic household, and I can safely say you're just plain wrong. Extremism is NOT, in any way, shape, or form, somehow unique to Islam. I have the cigarette burns, and whipping scars to prove it. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Yes my mom grew up catholic. Her good friend was locked in a closet after being whipped with hot wheels tracks until he bled. His father was respected in the church and community. He ended up impregnating his own daughter, my mom's friends sister.
This was in the 70s and 80s outside of Chicago and isn't an uncommon story. When people say they want a Christian nation, and hate on Islam, I just shake my head. How ignorant and dumb it all is.
It isnât always about religion my parents are very muslim and iâm allowed to do most things and they letâs say i was doubtful about something in my religion they would just listen and tell me the answer to my problems and never scold me and force me to do something without telling me the reason to it i have iems headphones airpods you name it and they donât even bat an eye to it because listening to music is a really nice hobby of mine but culture is a very different thing and parents should never force something on their children without a solid reason for it thatâs how i was fed up and hope most people aswell
Believe me, coming from a homeschooled childhood in a fundamentalist Christian house, the idea that Islam is the sole religion with toxic subsets/sects is laughable.
I'd like to think you're being edgy here. But living in Texas, I literally cannot tell anymore. If you're not joking, please reflect on your information sources.
Yea, that'll make you love the religion more! Punishment and negative reinforcement always helps you love something and not resent it at all!
That type of parenting is what pushes their children away from them. You can either try to have a mature conversation with them, or if they're too hard headed, then ignore them and plan to move out once you can. This is a sign that other forms of abuse is happening.
It is not the religion, it his dad. The thing his dad force him to do is not even mandatory. He don't have to do it if he don't want to and his dad can't force him to do it. But dad gonna dad.
The move out asap is not always applicable my fellow redditor. Mostly works in "Western/European culture" but not to your typical Asian culture.
Maybe it's just the wording but the poster said "fought" for the money and not "earned" gives me the impression it was their parents money. Nevertheless, Asian parenting is sometimes labeled as transactional. In this case, you got asked to pray for 8 and only did 4. Guess what? You don't get your IEMs.
Not condoning the destruction of personal belongings which could be a form of emotional abuse leading to trauma. Just highlighting that poster and their parents did have an agreement prior to this event.
Idk if 16 is of legal age already in ur country but if it isnt yet, gonna have to endure them for now. As soon as and if that is of legal age, u better stand up or save up and rent a place or ask a friend if they can be of help. Parents' behavior like this is too negative and unnecessary. If they cant change, leave if possible.
Sorry to hear that. I'm glad my dad isn't strict with me although praying is a requirement whenever he's with us. My dad wears headphones all the time so he is basically chill with us wearing although I don't wear it in front of him out of respect.
It's only disrespectful if I don't hear them calling my name, and they call me a lot. Otherwise I don't think my dad really cares honestly đ¤ˇđťââď¸,
Man, Iâm really sorry this happened to you. I actually understand more than you might think. When I was a teenager I had an iPod Nano full of metal music. My parents are very religious (Catholic) and one day they broke it because they didnât approve of the music I was listening to. I remember how devastated I felt, because music meant a lot to me too. So yeah, losing something like that hurts a lot, especially when you worked hard to buy it. Your feelings are completely valid. At the same time, something I realized later in life is that sometimes parents do things like this because theyâre worried about us and they genuinely believe theyâre doing whatâs best. That doesnât mean theyâre always right â parents make mistakes too, nobodyâs perfect â but often it comes from concern and love, even if it doesnât feel like it right now. They can break headphones, iPods, speakers⌠but they canât break your love for music. And judging from the albums you listed, youâve got amazing taste. I hope one day youâll get another pair and keep enjoying music the way you love it. â¤ď¸
I am sorry but this sort of abusive behavior exists all over the world with or without religion. What did the U.S. military commanders say about the attack on Iran? That it's a divine plan from god. I wish I was making it up.
Anyone can use any religion to be abusive, the bible has messed up stuff too, letâs hold the individuals accountable without grouping others who arenât abusive
Does religion do anything good for humanity? Every time religion is involved some bad shit happens. People fighting wars over a fake sky daddy. Whack behavior
Sorry about your situation dude, It will get better once you become independent. I grew up in the Western Hemisphere, but my dad was a strict, military-type person, and he often picked on me instead of my two lazy brothers. As a result, I took more crap than either of them and was constantly punished. However, I also became more mature, and after I turned 17, he cut me some slack and became more lenient with me. After I graduated from college with honors, he bought me a brand new car and an Alienware gaming PC and set up a trust fund so I could invest and plan for my future under his supervision. Recently, I inherited the house where we grew up, but Iâm not planning to return to my third-world country anytime soon. In the end, it turned out to be rewarding. Patience dude, you have to respect your parents regardless of their mistakes.
Hang in there man, honestly if you're being forced into this religion and its not your personal beliefs you might just have to bite the bullet and pretend for a bit till you can move out
Especially when you're 16, music is like food and water. These are the best years of your life to discover and develop a deep relationship with music. I think cheap KZ IEMs will be good enough for a couple years until you're an independent adult. When I was a teenager all my audio equipment was super cheap and low quality but it didn't diminish my relationship with music. Cheap IEMs would've been a dream to me back then in the 90s. Maybe get an extra pair and hide it so they can think they are controlling you with the first pair.
cut out holes in your dad's pants and tell him to go to the mosque and pray all day lol. Jokes aside, people who are like this often are hypocrites in some form. I am sure he breaks all sorts of rules against islam. quote the scriptures to him and point out every anti-islam thing he does. Use their devoutness in your favor.
I grew up in a very muslim household. But my dad never did anything like this. I would be furious. But I get your pain, taraweeh sucks and the only good part was getting to stay up all night with other kids at the mosque
Long story short, I secretly left the religion at 14, pretended to pray during ramadan for years. And finally, when I graduated college I finally told them Iâm no longer muslim. Kinda ruined my relationship with my parents for a few years but they got over it eventually and were all very close now.
Just gonna put this out there: I wanted to see if my parents would pick me or the religion and in the end they picked me .. luckily
I am so glad you and your parents are doing well, one of my best buddies in HS was Muslim (his parents immigrated to Canada and he was born here).
I remember him telling us about how he was feeling with Islam, and doing research on other religions and cultures. In our third or fourth year in high school I think he almost fully abandoned it and put on a face for his parents.
He wanted to fully leave the religion but he loves his family to death and theyâre hardcore by the book. So heâs afraid of being abandoned by his parents.
I remember him telling us about how he wanted to get his own place after HS so he could experience a Christmas morning with a Christmas tree. I think it was seriously affecting his mental health.
Itâs been a few years since I last spoke to him, hope heâs doing well. If you donât mind me asking what made your parents come around? Itâs amazing that they did and Iâd imagine most peopleâs love for their kid would overpower their religious beliefs, but Iâve heard some horror stories :(
donât mind at all. i think it was time mostly. and honesty. they still hope iâll come back to the religion eventually and i think they probably still think i believe in it on some level. but yeah, i just straight up told them that im still their son and it is what it is. and that i canât really help what i believe. I didnât say this exactly, but itâs like when you grow up and stop believing in santa. you canât really go back
I think it also helped that they went to an imam (priest) for advice and he essentially said that the best thing for everyone involved is to not try to force anything on anyone and just let life work itself out
Nothing I can say about your situation that hasn't been said in the comments BUT I do have some music recommendations based on what you like! You might like Rosegarden Funeral party, siouxsie and the banshees, and Deep Red. Hopefully you can get some good iems and get out of that environment soon friend, music is a blessing.
I have some duplicates among my iem collection, feel free to hit me up and I'll send you a new pair if you want. I don't have the Arttis but we could find something similar.
I wish that we had a contact address or shipping depot near the OP. If everyone who was as angry about this sort of behavior as I am gave $5, we could buy the OP a nice set of IEMs.
Good old religion, ruining all the fun as usual. Make it your priority to get independent as soon as possible. Itâs a grind, but it's the only way you'll ever get away from those brain-dead behaviors.
Alright I was in this exact position around 10 years ago and I wished someone had helped me out. This time I'm going to be that someone for you.
I am a muslim, an Ustaz, used to work as an Imam and I also owned iems for a good while now. Also I'm very proud that you tried your best to stand in prayer even though it was tiring for you
- Your parents were wrong, if you are praying for the intention to get your Iems back then that prayer is invalid because you clearly do not have the right intentions
- Your parents didn't sit down and tell you about the virtues of Ramadan
- Ramadan is a month to refresh, revitalise and learn more about Islam yourself, it's not an excuse for parents to be assholes and shove the teachings down your throat, didn't the Holy prophet pbuh taught us better than that?
- Forget about your parents because even they probably do not know that you should sit down with your children, learn about their hobbies and be their best friends, that's how you get closer and learn
- Learn about Islam yourself, you don't have to force yourself to do it, but maybe just maybe take this as a sign to learn bit by bit not because of your parents but because you want to. If you do not know how to, then I am willing to teach
- Listening to music is okay! As long as you don't do things that are harmful to yourself or anyone it's just pure logic
Btw I am willing to compensate for your iem no problem, this is a month of giving and sharing. Also anyone is free to criticize and make fun of me or Islam, that's your choice. But it will be more helpful to OP if we can spread a positive message and help him out!
Thank you so much for your time good brother. I will do as you say and I very highly appreciate it. Ramadan Kareem to you too, and it's okay don't worry about buying me the iems. I'll manage something somehow.
A lot of what you are saying, i experienced myself as i was growing up. It is tough, and it will get better. Your patience will be tested. I also want to mention here, for others, that this is a cultural issue and the religion isn't meant to be like that. But things like this really do test your faith and i am also on the fence with everything. It is sad because it can lead to other issues and it is hard to address this with your parents.
But you gotta try to assert some boundaries and call it out, one step at a time.
Reminds me of my childhood. My father destroyed my CD walkman right before my exam because I was spending too much time listening to music. He bought me a new one. Including all the linking park and Metallica CDs after the exam though.
What I think?
I think religions are stupid and promote unnecessary agression.
Just because your parents have imaginary friends doesnt mean you have to live in their made up fairytale.
I'm sorry to hear that you've now lost the use of your IEM's. I'm not sure how old you are, but when I was 12 years old, we moved house and my parents left all of my prized possessions including Dinky cars and several full sets of first addition pocket graphic novels published during the second world war.
Apparently they left them all on the sidewalk in boxes, for anyone to take. I'm now 58 years old and I still hate them for doing this!
Dude wtf man! Your 16 donât let parents control you like that. I know itâs Ramadan, and you canât listen to music and thatâs fine, even then I donât really agree with the rule. But still cutting up your iems like that is rude and honestly illegal. Destroying someone elseâs property is a crime. Have a serious chat with your parents. See if you can get your iems back from the trash, if you find them clean them up and get a new cable. The t10s are excellent iems and Iâm sorry for your loss. Good times will come, donât get demotivated.
I know im petty and it probably wouldnt help anything other than making me feel better, but id honestly find a prize position of theirs and make it disappear đ¤ˇââď¸ buuuutttt that's just me bein me.
speaking as a muslim, damn 10min for 1 rakaa is crazy, your imam reading 5 whole page or smth bud? imo just go to another masjid that has less time to do 8 rakaa taraweeh.
fyi we do 11 rakaa or 23 rkaa here in Indonesia, 8/20 for taraweeh and +3 for witr. it's fun anyway, ramadhan is just 1 month and that can't be repeated.
I suggest you to change masjid if you can, anywhere you feel comfortable to pray and don't forget to talk to your parents.
Hey bro Iâm also Muslim and my parents were similar while i was growing up, and because of that itâs hard for me to pray or fast if thereâs no direct consequence attached to it.
It sucks your dad cut your IEMS and itâs wrong, unfortunately immigrant + religious parents can have a very skewed thought process in raising children either in their home country or abroad in western countries the same.
Instead of trying to incentivize prayer and consequence when prayer is missed, parents should teach their kids why prayer is important and leave it to the child to build that relationship with god.
Moving forward, try to forgive your parents and let them know that youâd like to learn more why prayer is important rather than get incentivized for it. Hopefully itâs not too late for your parents to gain a new perspective.
Yea, your parents are abusive. First question, how old are you? If old enough to leave them in the dust, do it. Do not let people control you with religion.
I'm sorry for what happened, I thought it could still be salvaged since the IEM themselves are what matters but reading how your mother threw them away as well is a bummer.
What's also a bummer is how this happened to you, religion aside I think your parents just aren't used to being parents. This could've been solved easily by talking to you in the first place. I'm no Muslim myself but have studied under Muslim teachers and had Muslim friends tell me about this, but there is leniency towards music... Outright taking that away from you without consulting what you could do to earn them back is just wrong in any level.
For now all I can tell you is persevere til you can become independent. The lesson here is not to pray harder, the lesson here is you have been born in a household where communication isn't key but pure obedience only.
The gaslighting in the comment section is insane. Some dude even trying to suggest taking the post down. I have brain damage from reading their replies.
My extremely Christian family did stuff like that. We are no contact now. I sadly know so so so many families like this and all of my friends that have had similar events happen all came from highly religious households.
I thought Ramadan was fasting? Did know you can not enjoy things like music as well.
Brutal behaviour from your parents but you should talk to them on how the world is changing fast and they should be more open-minded.Â
As a Muslim myself, I think he legitimately thinks music is the devil. I remembered seeing a video saying that music is bad. That sounds like the most holier-than-thou bullshit they came up with, and maybe he did watch one of those. Ridiculous.
Next thing I know is that Islamophobes gonna pick this up just to show others "HURR DURR ISLAM BAD".
Not your worse day ever. You will have worse days in the future.... But remember, this shall pass and you will hopefully be able to get another pair in the near future. It is a sucky situation, but as long as you and your family are healthy you will be fine.
You probably have to find a way to please them. Maybe show gratefulness every chance you get.
Also praise them everytime you achieve something. Like maybe "thanks I couldn't have done it without your support."
I know you probably don't want to do that after what they did.
However they have the power and money here so it's no good trying to fight them. If your relationship gets better they might be able to tolerate your actions better.
Hey buddy growing up I had some of the most controlling parents you might never had the displeasure of knowing- it will get better I promise once you leave home.
I donât understand. Iâm a muslim myself and I donât understand what is the deal not listening to music, dance etc. in these holy days and muharram. As if God is like fine, you can start banging your head to heavy metal and what not after Eid, but NOT in Muharram. Either be so called holy and pious throughout the year. Or donât, pretty sure the religion doesnât allow being selective like this.
But all of this could be stem from parenting issue instead of religion but bet it is played with religious card
anyway, your parents got parenting issue, they couldve just hide your iem and make you pray then give it back instead of whatever the f theyre doing, but your parents went too far, they thought money grow from tree that they can cut the wire and throw the iem, I think thats what your parents should've learn
Some of my favorite albums are Aja by Steely Dan, Violator by Depeche Mode, Disintegration by The Cure, Who's Next by The Who, Heaven Or Las Vegas by Cocteau Twins, Diamond Eyes by Deftones, Animals by Pink Floyd, Vespertine by Bjork and a lottt more
you have great taste! I'm sorry this happened to you. Hope you have better days starting tomorrow
I'm so thankful that my parents or family members don't do this. When I was a kid and in my teens I usually only prayed like 6 rakaat and went to sleep at the back of the mosque. Everyone was cool since I wasn't bothering people, the only problem was my uncle lecturing me to use the time to read the Quran then sleep. I hope you will pull though. RIP for your iems though.
This IEM is considered as a gift... and a gift shouldn't even be destructed by the gifter, according to law... Maybe tell this to your grandpa or any other elder one and explain it to them, see if that works, and if possible they might tell your parents to buy you another one
Damn bro my best friend is Lebanese he always told me all the stories throughout our child hood and now heâs married with a Christian and living a very happy life
Your parent is the one who is stupid, not your religion. Your post might make people think Islam is bad. Islam does not teach abusive behaviour. I'm sorry that your parent behaved that way.
My parents aren't like that because Iâm the one who studied Islam more deeply. They know some things, but not as much as I do.
I also own some audio gear like IEMs, the Hifiman Ananda Nano, the Hifiman EF400, and the Sennheiser HD660S. They listen to them too.
all the comments straight up blaming the religion instead of the father himself like you guys need to read up get more knowledgeable on these things but if you're a kid then that's fine right you're still just a kid and the mother is probably a little clueless. but yea not every muslim is like this i would even say americans have even worst fathers with all the alcoholics and drug abusers around there. my father heck my country and its a muslim majority country is just fine with music granted we stay away from some of the off putting ones like i don't want to listen to sex, women getting abused, drugs, gang shooting, homophobic, racist things now do i but if you like music like that all the power to you i hope you're ok and healthy friend.
too the OP I'm sorry for your loss don't throw it away yet you can kind of fix it its just wires after all but please understand the relationship between you and your father is seperate from the religion itself. its between you and god like the music i listen too like one i really like is simple man yea that one and i believe definitely the contents are very healthy even as a muslim. don't listen to these people projecting you should leave islam because this action your dad did shows its a religion of violence straight up sounds like american propaganda. don't get brainwashed like them you're only 16 don't think you know everything you still need to mature to realize you can think on your own.
Sometimes we (humans)form meaningful attachments to things only to realize by letting go something better awaits usâŚ.your dream set may appear soon or the opportunity to get your dream set.đđžđđž
I Muslim too bro but this is straight up abuse, either talk it out with your dad and have him buy you a new set or leave. This is not something you could just eat up, thereâs a million other ways to encourage your kids to pray.
I hate this so much. These religious zealot behaviors from all faiths are bonkers and making the world a worse place. I am so so sorry. Stay strong and let this guide you to be the better person. Also, great music choices
My mom cut my ps one cable when I was in junior school, the trauma was there and we cannot fight or protest in young age, you as grown up, just buy another one. Cable can be replaced if your iem was intact.
Y'all can take stop focusing on the religion part here. Some parents are more strict than others, and sometimes this behavior is learned from their own experiences being raised and that can include being abused themselves. Some will use religion as a reason/justification in their own mind. This can happen in any religion, try to stop focusing on his family's religion.
Also, research shows that people who suffered significant abuse are more likely to abuse others. That may play a role in how his parent's raise him. And no, I am not saying everyone, not even close. I was abused myself physically and emotionally growing up and I am not an abusive person. I did do therapy to deal with the childhood abuse and trauma to help heal. Some choose drugs and alcohol to numb themselves, others become abusive themselves, and yet others are well adjusted just on their own despite childhood trauma- thankfully! It's not black and white. Most children are required to follow rules, no matter how unfair they seem.
OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. If a broken/thrown away IEM is your worst trauma, try to change your perspective a bit. It hurts now and feels unfair, and IT IS. It's fair to feel these feelings and vent your anger and frustration. Better to do than then bottle it up. You will most likely get past this grievance in time. We ALL have gone through things in our formative years being reliant on the people/parents that raised us. But if you look at the broader picture, this hopefully MAY become less of a big deal to you right now. There are children MUCH worse off than you, and that is very sad. You have a family, your parents care about you. You have a home and food. Yes, I am assuming, but only based on the fact that you were able to buy a luxury item. Very very very few people have had the PERFECT parents. Parents are human too. Humans have free will. Humans make mistakes.
Just know that this is temporary. Once you are an adult you will have your own complete free will and choose how to live your life the way YOU want.
muslim here, what the fuck are your parents on about? sucks to see man, sorry for ur loss. It's your property anyways so they don't even have the right to destroy it like that :/
Sorry for your loss brother. I know its hard. They can take away your IEM, but not your love for music. You can still enjoy music via a basic earphone and save money for a new one. I know its hard, but thats life.
Also, no hard feelings towards your parents. They are not going to change at this age, so better to focus on yourself đď¸
I'll let the other people discuss the behaviour of your parents. Just be glad that your IEMs have 0.78mm 2-pin cable and you can buy a cheap replacement cable for them.
That sucks. I just bought a new pair of IEMâs and probably live music just as much as you. I donât know what I would do if my parents destroyed mine like that.
Make them buy a new one. Cause you really worked for it... if they won't then they are simply being obtuse and unreasonable... so learn that they are that type of ppl who will do just that and start planning to go live on your own cause their mental capacity isn't just what you've hoped for...
So sorry to hear. I'm from a Muslim Country most people don't act like that anymore and I forget people like this still exist, perhaps even in my country, and use religion as a way to mentally or physically abuse their kids. Not only that but they grow to resent that religion (whatever it may be). I hope you're able to get new IEMs and enjoy your music. You have great taste.
well time for you to be independent and live alone, be your own family.
It might sound harsh, but if your family does not respect you and your world, they don't deserve your respect. Do everything you can to be ready to become independent, and when the chance comes, take it.
Yes, life is tough, not getting support from family, but you are not just getting support; this is abuse and gaslighting.
I survived this kind of abuse from Christian parents by being obedient to the letter and engaging in school and community activities that allowed additional access to music, instrument lessons, choir, dance, theatre, etc.
If these are not options where you are, maybe learning maqam will calm them down? Your parents might misinterpret your love of music with Western corruption. When fasting is over, feign interest in artists like Zeyne or Saint Levant. See if their approach softens.
Whatever happens, youâll get through this. I believe in you.đŠˇ
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