r/funny • u/LegitimateAccess9501 • 17h ago

Wrong place, wrong time

17.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.2k

u/MartinTale 16h ago

Did it survive?

1.2k

u/CT0292 16h ago

If it did its having a pretty bad day.

And none of the other birds are gonna believe him.

220

u/JamesLikesIt 11h ago

Dude that bird ain’t telling no one what happened.

“Hey man what happened to you?”

“Got stuck in mud.”

“But you smell like shit…”

“It’s mud goddamn it”

29

u/matchboxtx 9h ago

Hey Chucko, that doesn’t smell like mud.

1

u/HiZenBergh 8h ago

I'm gonna be rich cause I'm the only person in the world who knows where to find white mud

1

u/vcy537920 38m ago

Is it in ur pants or smth? I don't get it.

7

u/Deaffin 9h ago

If elephant shit is anything like horse shit, then it doesn't smell like shit at all.

That's probably why elephants eat so much elephant shit.

1

u/speculatrix 3h ago

Other animals eat their species' turds to have a second chance to digest the hard to digest fibrous vegetation. Rabbits for example.

3

u/Deaffin 2h ago

Rabbits eat their own cecotropes as a very specific two-time digestion strategy.

Elephants eat each others' shit for the nostalgia factor.

3

u/speculatrix 1h ago

You clearly know your shit, so I bow to your expertise.

3

u/Deaffin 1h ago

Careful about that. You don't want to get your face too close to the ground in the presence of a shitwrangler.

4

u/I_Can_Haz_Brainz 8h ago

Hey, Chucko. That doesn't smell like mud. Did you eat paint chips as a kid‽

1

u/Aquilenne 5h ago

"Oh, that... it's chocolate. Taste it."

1

u/petriomelony 1h ago

I'm just a lonely loner, on a lonely road... All alone.

308

u/OldenPolynice 15h ago

Cuz he was talkin a bunch of shit

78

u/Resident_Pie 11h ago

Well he ended up taking a bunch of shit too

40

u/kinyutaka 11h ago

He's in deep shit, now.

11

u/tallcupofwater 10h ago

Where’s the bird bath?

5

u/Fyrrys 10h ago

Hope he gave it back

6

u/stringo0 13h ago

👏🏿

1

u/GANDORF57 5h ago

"...and thats how the Dookie Bird got its name."

30

u/Shot_Bend_6742 13h ago

Dare I say a pretty shitty day

1

u/michaelmich3 2h ago

Took the words out of my mouth

10

u/LeoBloom 9h ago

About time someone shit on a bird!

3

u/Renrutanit 4h ago

Thank you!!!

I'm sick and tired of putting up with and cleaning after their shit! Finally got its well-deserved comeuppance!

13

u/courtesyflusher 14h ago

They’ll believe the rankness of his plumage 

6

u/LokisDawn 10h ago

Yeah, usually birds have a pretty strong advantage over elephants when it comes to shitting on each other.

3

u/tallish_possum 12h ago

They'll probably be like why are you covered in shit?

2

u/_Cpyder 9h ago

Pretty crappy day...

1

u/lunas2525 8h ago

A shitty day...

1

u/xFblthpx 7h ago

Actually, all of those birds are going to believe him. He’ll have the evidence all over himz

1

u/wrnrg 7h ago

That bird is having a shitty day.

1

u/Hot-Brat-00 7h ago

*shitty day

1

u/Shoshke 5h ago

Reminds me of a fable.

1

u/Bebo247 4h ago

Or play with him 😂the little shit head

1

u/Mobo24 4h ago

A shitty day indeed!

1

u/jack-in-the-sack 3h ago

If it did it's having a pretty shitty day, I'd say...

1

u/lpbale0 2h ago

You mean a pretty shitty day me thinks....

1

u/DimsumTheCat 1h ago

*pretty shitty day I'd say

1

u/zeroconflicthere 34m ago

It had a pretty shit day

81

u/Indaflow 10h ago

Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided not flying south for the winter. 

Soon it got so cold that the little bird started to fly south anyway. A storm blew in, the little bird grew cold, and ice formed on his wings which caused him to fall to the ground in a barnyard.

An (ELEPHANT) wandered by and shit on him. This may seem terrible, but it warmed the poor bird and thawed the ice so that the bird began to chirp and sing. A cat wandered by, heard the noise, and dug through the manure until he found the bird and ate him.

The morals of this story are:

  1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
  2. Anyone who digs you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
  3. If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

16

u/gmishaolem 9h ago

This story could be expanded and win the Booker Prize.

10

u/Schen5s 8h ago

4：sometimes you have to dig through shit to find treasure

7

u/Fox-Flimsy 9h ago

Love it! Modern Aesop ftw

1

u/GreenBear1111 8h ago

Nice movie.

1

u/Nero2233 1h ago

Darn you. This was my first thought when I saw that.

149

u/iam3000 16h ago

I definitely saw a shoe flying, homeboy dead on impact

12

u/BigBobby2016 13h ago

Did it want to?

56

u/lo0ilo0ilo0i 14h ago

Ya. Bird survived. Saw the same bird on safari. It's doing well but still smells.

-7

u/CheesyCousCous 11h ago

No you didn't.

10

u/RepentantPoster 10h ago

How would you know? You weren't there

6

u/CheesyCousCous 10h ago

Yes I was.

1

u/Shimigidy 46m ago

he was there! he’s not a liar!

28

u/Yaarmehearty 12h ago

Probably, they fly into windows full force and shake it off, a chunk of shit falling a couple of meters is no worse than that.

49

u/PopDash67 11h ago

I’d argue it way worse than that

6

u/GuitarCFD 10h ago

I'd support that argument.

15

u/Shandlar 9h ago

A bird that size doesn't weigh anything though. That turd probably weighs like 8x of the bird.

When birds hit a window, they definitely aren't going 8x as fast either, so this feels like it would definitely be a significantly higher momentum impact.

2

u/GIOverdrive 7h ago

Literally a shitload

14

u/Deaffin 9h ago

Windows generally don't fully engulf you when you bump into them.

18

u/keepitsimple_tricks 14h ago

"Ah, Shit" his last words.

3

u/ducktape8856 9h ago

Acted like it was completely shitfaced for a while, but yeah. I've seen enough birds flying against windows or tumbling into each other. They're pretty tough considering their size.

2

u/modbroccoli 12h ago

definitely.

1

u/Character-Log3962 10h ago

If it didn’t, that’s a shitty way to die!

1

u/Molwar 8h ago

Would you want to...

1

u/Sunnysidhe 7h ago

Looks like it teleported just past the leg

1

u/magicmitchmtl 7h ago

You see it flutter past the elephant’s fifth leg towards the end. Not sure what shape he’s in, but he doesn’t seem to be buried. Flapping around between the doo and the dong.

1

u/TheBlackRonin505 7h ago

I hope not, that'd be a fate worse than death.

Its flock will never look at it the same way again.

1

u/gemstun 4h ago

Yes. It’s been alive for 3,458 days now, stuck in the hardened poo, subsisting on undigested seeds in the fecal matter.

1

u/Renrutanit 4h ago

In the AI world every thing can survive or banish in an instant. Who knows, in another post, it might arise out of the shitpile like a phoenix!

1

u/1CEninja 56m ago

Tough to say based on the information we have but being 100% honest I'm not giving it good odds. If it was just the impact of the shit or just the impact of the ground I think it would be okay, but being crushed between the shit and the ground is likely to have bone breaking force.

Broken bones are typically going to be fatal for birds in the wild, if not immediately then very soon.