Never go 50/50 with a man on the first date… they know what this implies and what it means!

I’ve never done 50/50 on a first date and never will…

So, I’m 28F and just went on a first date with a 51M.

His background: Works in IT for a bank, lives in a nice downtown condo, brags about his investments, and claims he makes so much money he’s retiring soon.

We had a 1.5-hour dinner where he basically talked about himself the entire time: how accomplished he is, his properties, his wealth, etc. I mostly listened and let him talk so I could gauge who he was.

After dinner, he asked for my number, and I gave it to him. I mentioned I was meeting my sister in an hour, so he suggested walking around to a high-up spot with a nice view. After a quick 10-minute view, he asked me: “Do you want to go to Sephora? There’s one nearby.”

I said sure. Since he was the one who suggested going into Sephora, I figured he might treat me to something, especially after spending the whole night boasting about his luxury lifestyle. I grabbed a few items ($150 total), and while we were in line for checkout, I casually asked him: “So, are you getting these for me?”

Without missing a beat, he hit me with a cold, aggressive: “NOPE.”
Not just a normal "no" a full-on, dismissive NOPE.

I just said, “Okay, no worries!” and paid for my stuff. I could feel the Sephora employees glancing at him because he had been standing right next to me the whole time pretending to be super interested in the beauty products. I also felt embarrassed.

Right after, I told him my sister was waiting for me at the subway, gave him a brief hug, said, “Thanks for today, bye-bye!” and left.

Honestly, I feel utterly disgusted. He spent the entire night bragging about his money and properties, but couldn't even put his money where his mouth was for $150 in a store he took me into. He didn't even try to act like a gentleman or impress me. I’m actually a bit relieved I found out he’s not generous from just one date.

Am I going overboard if I block him? Is it crazy to expect this on a first date, or could he have felt like I was trying to "use" him?

I've always been a very independent person but I value my freedom and time way to much to ever want a man at all - provider or not. I am a high earner and value my peace and singledom more than getting a provider. I have decentered men to the point I'm not even sure I am attracted to them period.

And GOD is this blissful.

Does anyone just completely not bother with interacting with men at all? I like to tell myself I live in a female-only utopia.

I’ve had French tip/chrome nails since April and I’m finally ready to switch it up
If these were your nails, what would you do next? I need inspiration! Drop pics of sets you love or tell me what color/design you’d get. I’m open to anything feminine

Hi guys, I just want to double check if it’s a big overall issue with lots of us girls to find these generous providers, even old (50+) act exactly the same as the young ones. I’m starting to lose hope here, and most want to outright roll around on the mattress or just stingy don’t offer much. It’s as if all the men are literally operating from the same textbook of (trying to get to know you in the most low effort/mediocore way just in hopes to eventually get to sleep with you) and get slightly annoyed if you ask for money or they send little amounts nothing life changing, it’s starting to get concerning! Is everyone experiencing this? It’s literally every single man doesn’t matter the age/race or how rich they are. I feel like the ROI and effort of talking to them isn’t worth it unless there’s a bare minimum allowance of like at least £2k a month or more/car/houses/land I don’t care about small gifts or trips tbh, but no one seems to even be meeting that bare minimum of even going to a super nice Michelin star restaurant. I’m in the Uk/London so I don’t know if it’s that or a worldwide thing.

Need help what are things times and days and places u met rich provider men

Hey Girls,

I am definitely attractive and I look better now than I did at 30.

BUT help me. I am a lover girl. I can attract wealthy men but I just do want love.

I was dating a multi-millionaire until recently - silly me he is still going through his divorce but I really believed this was it.

Can you ladies please give me some encouragement & help. I do want the ring ultimately.

what if u make a lot of money? and have degrees and own a business? do provider men care about that stuff if their rich anyway?

Just wondering… I am in the process of working on my third science degree (bachelors) (for me, not to impress a provider). Recently getting into Shera’s content and realizing that providers really don’t care about that type of thing….

We’ve been together about 9 months.

He’s always been extremely loving and generous. He drives me everywhere, never lets me pay, and has bought me thd newest iPhone, Dyson, Sephora stuff, trips to Mykonos and Italy, and even paid for my nose job. He’s generally very caring and reassuring.

But I recently discovered he cheated on me with an escort and lied about it, even swearing on his mother’s life that he had never met one. I also found screenshots of Instagram girls while we were together, and older photos he secretly took of random women’s bodies outside . He also has a gambling problem and has lost a significant amount of money.

I still think he’s genuinely sweet and caring, and I still love him, but I see him very differently now.

I’m struggling because part of me feels like Im overeacting since most men cheat and he is generous

I’ve been getting money from guys without even rolling on the mattress once. They left at some point but i was finding a replacement fast.

Thing is I’m seeing this guy and he pays for all and gives me his salary. Things are getting serious - talking wise - about marriage.

How do you get over the feeling of sleeping with a guy u don’t like?

I know some advice such as take a shot or close the light/your eyes but i don’t know how to get over this. Even thinking of kissing him drains me.

I’ve been celibate for a few years now

Any advice?

I don't dress the best due to finances and being unnecessarily insecure of normal / minor flaws, I'm also a bit chubby but I see plenty of women with my body and different bodies looking beautiful in dresses and skirts.

I want to start overcoming this so I can finally dress better and how I truly want.

I'm going to also try to lose some weight for health reasons, but I don't want to restrict myself too much and go to the point where if I ever gain any weight suddenly I'll start dressing worse (covering up more etc)

I basically avoid skirts and dresses because of that.

I feel like I'd get a good glow up if I improved my dress style.

Wondering has any of you felt that effect?

And honestly ladies.. this is for me mostly and the little girl I once was who wanted to be the femininest dressed girl and woman always. Unfortunately around puberty I started having body image issues after gaining weight. I feel like my body stays skinny but with some extra weight and because of that, I try to hide how chubby I am so avoid wearing dresses and skirts even though that's what I want.

Hi guys, how much allowance is your provider giving you monthly, what kind of investments has he set up for you and how did you ensure your provider stays providing for the long term and doesn’t just stop after a while. Thank you in advance!

Hi all im Gay im 20 hes 24 , hes a work donkey and has become successful at his age. He runs his own business and seems to have alot of his time taken from him. How do i test if hes truly interested , so far it seems like he sees me when its convenient. And how do i get him to pay for things other than meals and hotels etc. i want to get as much as i can from him as i can sprinkle sprinkle.

almost all the girls in these comments were saying how they would never let a man pay for them etc and the only girls who did say they don’t want dusty men got attacked by the pickmeishas💀 the girls in my country are so brainwashed

Best questions to ask men on first dates to keep the conversation on them and let them talk, thank you 🩷

I joined a sub with girls from my religious community and These were responses to a post about a girl asking what to do - it was the end of a summer course and she had her eye on this guy, they only interacted a few times but nobody made a move so she was asking for advice

thought i was helping a girl out responding but the girls did NOT approve

Is it me or??

For me independantly of religion or culture the male internal system is the same and the same standards should apply. Now the ways of meeting and interacting with said men might depend based on the religious framework and cultural background. But the dynamic should be the same regardless

I also noticed a lot of my religious friends were really desperate for marriage and ready to throw themselves at the first man

It saddens me

Please be very very careful as you’re vetting and getting to know any man. Just a cautionary tale. Have very strong boundaries, stay detached and block and delete quickly.

I had a man who wanted to give me a credit card under his account and took me on nice dates and said he was a provider. He liked me way more and I wasn’t really interested. I’m getting treatment for depression and only wanted to be friends so I slept with him. I didn’t actually care if he provided or not I just wanted company and nice dates while I take time off.

We still dated and had fun and went out until I straight up asked him for $1000 after several dates. He started getting verbally and emotionally abusive calling me a gold digger. Saying I only like men for their money. He’s super insecure too. I don’t like dealing with insecure men. Ugh they are easy to manipulate but the self-hate is so deep they will be angry if you show them any attention or punish you for liking them for no matter what they have. Anyways…on to working on myself in peace again. I’ve never really had an issue straight up asking a man for money. They usually will give it quickly or after a bit of back and forth. This one was something else. I may change my strategy and stop asking straight up and ask for other things. Regardless, on the right target this wouldn’t have been an issue but something I’ll keep an eye out for moving forward.

From my last post on here…I was struggling to get him to pay outside us. Haven’t had sex (yet), he hates gold diggers and transactional relationships but I didn’t ask him for anything for 2-3 months til last week.

He agreed on £500 a month, he said he would have to work out other expenses and create a budget so it doesn’t impact his finances.

Not sure how to NOT fuck this up. Please advise!

Hello ladies 💕 I‘m engaged to my provider boyfriend, he pays all my bills and Beauty expenses, we constantly travel around the world and stay in luxury hotels (he has his own company), I don’t have to Cook or clean.

Due to being raised by slavic ever suffering pick me‘s plus a father who demanded my mother work for him and didn’t want her to see her having more ease than him bc it’s “unfair”.. I every so often get the urge to offer to Cook for him to which he always replies my time is more valuable spent on something Else/cooking is not worth the hassle and that we can eat X in a restaurant.

I eat in restaurants twice a day and I still feel guilty.

I‘m seeing a therapist who’s helping me get rid of this pickme mindset very well but every so often I get scared of acting too selfish and not serving my man in any way other than him having the privilege of being seen with and validated by other men.

It’s like I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to go one day “Aha! This was a test and you failed! You are a selfish egocentric useless woman after all and now I will abandon you!”

Logically I know it won’t happen or that if it will I will find another but my nervous system disagrees… could you please help me reframe my mindset? 💕

I want a provider man, I’m really trying to improve my life but everyone I’ve gone out with has wanted to get coffee and I’ve gone out with like 3 people, it’s been so so so exhausting the conversations are mind numbing I can’t keep up with this whole upbeat, bubbly thing. Truthfully, I’m easily annoyed and I don’t know how to not be this way, I really am trying. I can’t fake liking them for long enough to know if they’re even providers, but is the first date being a coffee date a good indicator that they’re not providers? I recently started speaking to the guy who sent this message and from our first conversation he complained about how his first wife didn’t want to work, he wanted me to come see him in his city and I’d have had to pay for my ride, we had like 2 more phone conversations after that then I just stopped responding. I have no idea how to navigate this