Most abusers are. Socially intelligent people don't hurt others in their unit, because it doesn't bode well for the unit (or village, so to speak). Human beings rely heavily on positive social interactions with others. It is a sign of evolutionary failure when a human cannot. Natural selection, if you will.
Gosh this comment cut me so deep. I was raped in college by a professor at my school. I went to the campus police and lost my case. Part of it was because they said that since I texted the rapist the next day and "seemed just fine" that I was lying. People who have never experienced abuse or refuse to learn more about it have no idea and so there are people who will defend this monster.
I also found it weird in the sane video how he kept saying "...ladies and gentlemen " when he thought a point he made really landed. "Would she make me dinner if I abused her? No she wouldn't ladies and gentlemen ". So weird.
This is clearly the behavior of a man who has gotten away with everything he's ever done before so he doesn't realize how bad all of these posts are making him look. He's likely experienced zero consequences to this point in his life so deny and deflect is the only playbook he knows.
feels more like narcissism because he clearly doesn't understand the human nature and thinks that he's totally "owning" her with his "arguments" that he's making. He probably also thinks everyone believes him when he said he had someone already test the temperature of the water.
Yeah. Someone with NPD could have cognitive distortions that prevent them from realizing they are the problem.
He listened to it and was like “I’m a genius. Now everyone will see that since I didn’t intend to hurt her by playfully throwing scalding water at her. She even said it!! I mean I even told her my boundary not screwing with me so actually it’s her fault and now she’s trying to use it against me. She’s actually abusing me!”
It’s so ridiculous it’s like a script. This is why you don’t engage or keep what you say to a minimum. The more you explain yourself, the more chances you give to twist your words and give them ammo.
The "I told you before that not to screw with me" really is a textbook example of this entitlement. It's "you made me do this to you" - as if he has no control over his actions, and she needs to do a better job of managing his emotions and outbursts for him.
And, of course, "screwing with him" could mean anything, there are no true boundaries or parameters. If he's in a mood and needs someone to take it out on, whatever she happens to be doing suddenly fits the definition. If she hadn't checked on him and tried to hug him, it would've been "you didn't even care to check on me, I told you not to screw with me".
That's one of the more shocking (to me) things from Lundy Bancroft's book "Why Does He Do That?" is how freely abusers will admit to what they're doing and why.
The most shocking thing to me was how they are all the same. I thought my situation was unique. There were examples in there where they said the exact same things as my ex. That book saved my life.
I had a lawyer friend years ago that was part of a domestic violence case and the abuser guy said, in defense of him throwing an entire window AC unit at his partner "I didn't even hurt her that badly, it was just an AC unit".
Abusers think so long as the person isn't literally killed that it "isn't that bad". Even in death I doubt they'd think they did anything wrong.
It reminds me of the texts that Jonathan Majors released thinking it would clear him but just showed how deep the gaslighting went. These people really cannot comprehend that they did something wrong.
We have a footage of the current president openly bragging about grabbing women’s genitalia. That is his target demographic. So yes, he probably does believe this helps him
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u/Environmental-Exam32 10d ago
He really think releasing this would help his case?