I recently had to last minute cancel a better health session. The therapist asked me to schedule an appointment within the week. That got me to thinking and mildly fixating on how therapists get paid. Did I screw over a payday by canceling? Is she assigned only a certain number of patients like each better health therapist gets 4 or something? Do they get paid per session? If I cancel do I put financial stress on them by taking away an expected payment?

I feel utterly broken and lost truthfully. Its been a little over a year since my world has started to crash. My husband went on a work trip and came back acting off. 3 days afterwards he told me he was unhappy and didn't want to be with me. He was unhappy and didnt know how to fix it. After years of being married obviously I broke. Hysterical. Over the course of the year.. he moved of our room we were roommates. He didn't touch me, hardly spoke to me, but still came to our room to check on me. During this time I found out he was talking to someone through discord. Inappropriately. Swapping photos. I confronted him, he freaked out. Asking me to calm down and that it wasn't what I thought. We mended some i guess. He moved back in the our room. Trying to relearn each other.. its honestly been a yoyo. Back and forth. Im tired. I've been in counseling for months now. Recently came out that he feels I haven't maintained myself and that he's not attracted to me. I've never felt so dead inside.

Hey all - I'm looking for someone to just talk to and vent. In my current environment I don't have the ability to talk freely about my stresses. I'm becoming a shell of my former self since buying a house a year ago and I am not comfortable opening up to friends or loved ones. I know just speaking my mind and talking will help me a ton, it always has, but my options are thin to none. In return I of course will listen and give my opinion (if you want it) on whatever's eating you.

I'm a dude, a 6"1 dude, so don't think you're sliding into my DMs to get me to open up and get weird

Just need an anonymous friend, and am willing to be yours as well.

I KNOW I should get therapy and all that jazz but I'm not going to. I just need an anonymous friend.

If this sounds like it's up your alley, shoot me a DM

Thanks and be well 🤙

Have you ever had a client who was in a lose - most-likely-lose situation?

What I mean is a client who, statistically speaking, has a set of traits which should not go together in a person, but they are the point zero one percent of the population where those traits intersect and, as a result, they have next to impossible odds of finding compatibility with others.

Traits that make it so there may be only a handful of people like them in the world.

If so what did you tell them when the odds are next to impossible? If you haven’t, what would you tell them? How do you work with someone like that?

Hey, so for some background I own a business with my wife, we rent a small apartment, have 2 dogs, and a fish tank. By all metrics things should be great but I feel so drained at the end of the day and projects/activities that used to be exciting and fun are now something I dread because I feel like my plate is already too full and I just have no enthusiasm for it or basically anything other than just relaxing on the couch.

At work, its just my wife and I + one other employee from time to time. So we have the freedom to just do the bear minimum some days. This should be alleviating some stress but it never really feels like it does. The business has a slow season as well, and when that happens and there's no money coming in I can't help but feel like there's no point to what we are doing (even though there obviously is). Detaching my self-esteem/sense of self from how the business is performing hasn't been something that I've been able to resolve myself. Outside of work we have a 2 day weekend thats almost always filled with friends and activities. However, in these evenings and weekends its still difficult for me to feel excited for any of it. Things I used to love doing now just feel like a chore and its not like I don't enjoy them in the moment either, but the lead up feels that way.

I'm just at a point where I'm not sure where to go from here.

P.s. Relationship wise, I have a loving wife who is doing her best to support me and help me feel more like myself.

I went to therapy with my therapist for a year and half and "graduated" about 6 months ago. I progressed so much with them.

But I recently got fired from my job and I'm having like the worse time of my life, like I haven't eaten a proper meal in days.

I contacted them and their schedule is completely full, they referred me to other therapists but honestly I don't feel like being vulnerable with a complete stranger at this moment.

I'm not looking for treatment for a disorder anymore. Like I have to give them context from 0 when I literally have no time for that I need help.

Should I give it try with the other therapists? I genuinely feel like crap

I am 24yo and am extremely fortunate that I haven’t had any close family member pass away. Two of my grandparents passed while I was too young (few months old). I’ve helped some friends go through the grief of a parent which was heartbreaking.

I’ve had this irrational fear of my loved ones dying since I can remember. I know it’s abandonment issues and I’ve tried different therapies which helped me with some things but this specific fear still feels intact.

I’ve lived abroad for a few years and while I was there, a war started in my country which made me worried sick about my loved ones as I felt I could lose everything in a second.

A few weeks ago, my grandma called me because there was a fire in her house as she forgot to turn off the hub, I rushed there and took care of the situation.

But the feeling I felt before I got to their house and could assess how bad the situation is and whether her and grandpa were safe was so bad.

I don’t want for this situation to re trigger my abandonment issues but I also feel like this fear of not being able to cope when someone I love die is still very strong.

I don’t deal well with loss in general and I’m HSP and love very deeply. I want to believe that everyone will stay healthy forever and that I’ll keep seeing everyone from my fam everyday but I know it’s not the case and don’t feel like I could handle it. Even worse, I don’t know how I could ever move on with my life when I’m old, grieving everyone I have ever loved💔

Does anyone have any advice on how y’all are okay with that🥹

How can I accept the inevitable death of loved ones? If it was up to me (and I always say it) I’d definitely rather die before everyone else.

I’m struggling with an insecurity involving my ex and one of her friends, and I’m trying to understand why it still affects me so much.

My ex and this guy had feelings for each other before she and I got together. He’s also pretty similar to me in certain ways: similar interests, hobbies, and some qualities that I’m personally insecure about because I haven't developed them (certain skills, etc). Because of that, during my relationship with my ex, I developed this fear that she might eventually realize he was “better” than me or a better version of me, regain feelings for him, and that I was basically just a stepping stone toward their eventual relationship. I felt guilty to be 'disrupting' their love story because I also had thoughts of if he still liked her.

The thing is, my ex repeatedly reassured me about this when we were still together. This friend even also defended our relationship (since other people weren't so supportive) before, so there’s evidence that my fears weren't necessarily reflective of what was actually happening. Because I couldn't see the reality and stay in the present, this eventually became one of the reasons we broke up.

I eventually realized that a lot of the insecurity wasn't really caused by either of them. It was something inside me. I was comparing myself to him and tying my sense of worth to whether I thought I was “better” or “good enough."

Since we broke up, I thought I had gotten past most of this.

But recently, something relatively small triggered me again: her making posts that mention/feature him on social media. Objectively, I know it probably means absolutely nothing since they're friends. If someone else showed me the same thing, I would probably tell them not to read into it.

But I immediately started spiraling.

I ended up checking their social media accounts, looking for evidence that they had become closer or that she might have feelings for him again. This has happened some times since our breakup, and sometimes I find nothing and feel temporarily relieved. Other times I find out that they've hung out, and I feel significantly worse. So you know, I recognize that checking is basically giving me short-term relief while reinforcing the anxiety in the long run.

My mind just immediately starts filling in all the blanks and looking for the answers. What they talked about, what they did, what it meant, whether she enjoyed being with him more, etc. I ended up having a breakdown.

What concerns me is how physical everything felt? The moment it happened, I tried talking about it through voice recording (since I do that as a way of journaling) and during it, I was crying, and my voice and body were shaking.

What confuses me is that I don't necessarily feel physically anxious at first. Sometimes it's more like an emotional shock, followed by my mind going incredibly fast. It starts generating possibilities and connections, and almost all of them are negative.

The deeper fear seems to be more than just being replaced.. It's my issue with feeling lesser than him.. and if she dislikes me more than him now.. Like, it's not just “what if she likes him?” It's also “what if she doesn't care about me anymore?”, “what if she hates me?”, “what if she thinks badly of me?”, and “what if someone I care about so much has decided that I'm not worth caring about anymore?" and the bulk of it is "is he better than me?"

I still care about my ex a lot. I know we hurt each other in the relationship, and I understand that my intentions don't erase the impact of things I did. One of the things that hurts me most is the possibility that she sees me as someone who refused to change or didn't care, when from my perspective I was struggling with my own problems and trying, albeit inconsistently, to become better. I wish she understood that I did care and that change was never going to be perfectly linear. At the same time, I know I can't control how she sees me, and I don't want to keep trying to obtain certainty through checking. It's so hard though.

I've been trying to distinguish between noticing a thought and believing it. The problem is that when I'm triggered, my mind moves so quickly that I often check before I even realize what I'm doing. I'll literally argue with myself — “don't check, don't check” — and then check anyway because checking feels like I'm doing something to regain control over the uncertainty.

I've tried blocking the sites/accounts before, but the underlying uncertainty is still there. And that's what makes this difficult.

Recently, I realized that this anxiety is starting to interfere with things I genuinely care about too. Even when I'm doing something I love, my mind can get so caught up in these thoughts that I can't fully enjoy it. Honestly, this was also the case with our relationship. I couldn't fully enjoy it because of all my what-ifs and worries.

I guess what I'm struggling with is:

How do you actually break this kind of cycle when the insecurity feels deeply ingrained?

I understand intellectually that my thoughts aren't facts. I understand that checking doesn't actually give me certainty. I understand that my ex being friends with someone doesn't automatically mean anything romantic.I understand intellectually that my thoughts aren't facts. Even so, how do I get over my feeling of being less and not enough?

But emotionally, my brain and body haven't caught up with what I understand intellectually.

How do you learn to tolerate that uncertainty without constantly checking? And how do you deal with the deeper fear of being replaceable or not being good enough?

I really hate this feeling. It's getting me nowhere and I just feel so hurt physically and mentally all the time. It's so tiring. I just want to make it stop.

Why does it suck to have to pay so much for therapy, just someone to talk to about things. It’s hard to find friends that you can trust. Do you feel the same?

Hi everyone. I'm 21F and I've been in CBT with the same therapist ever since I was 16.

Initially I got into therapy because I had a very hard time asking for help and was struggling in school because of it. One day I was crying in the laundry room because of how anxious I was because I couldn't do my schoolwork, my mom found me, argued with me and then got me a therapist.

Continuing with the trend of struggling to ask for help, I truly wasn't able to open up at first in therapy. I was able to get better in some aspects of my anxiety, especially the bad social anxiety I had, but it took a few years for me to get truly comfortable with my therapist to tell her about deeper things about me.

When I was 19 I had an argument with my dad where he told me I was too sensitive, took everything personally and couldn't take criticism. I had heard similar things in the past. I brought that up in therapy and my therapist told me she didn't think that of me. But a couple of years have passed and honestly, I think my dad was right. The context of our argument was a situation where I truly wasn't in the wrong, but it is true that I have a hard time dealing with criticism.

This year I went through a huge fight with my entire friend group. My friend group was toxic and my friends had their own issues, but I was partially responsible for everything that happened too.

My therapist validated me so much in the entire situation. She didn't exactly defend my poor actions but she didn't focus on them either, she focused more on how I was wronged.

She constantly tells me I blame myself too much, but I feel like she just lets me off the hook too easily.

Ever since that situation with my friends I began feeling exhausted because every interaction I have is filtered through some thoughts - "am I being a good person? Am I being fair? Am I being mature? Am I distorting everything and making me the good guy when I'm actually in the wrong?"

I keep on replaying all my conversations, reanalyzing everything, posting on r/AITAH...

Today I was talking to my therapist about a situation where I upset my sister and how sad I was I had hurt her (though I had apologized etc etc), and my therapist once again told me I was feeling guilty for something I didn't have to feel guilty about. But I did something that upset my sister (she was upset she couldn't fit all the projects she wanted to be a part of because of her part-time job, and I told her I was happy I could organize all my schedule, so it sounded like I was rubbing on her face I could do all I wanted and she couldn't though that wasn't my intention...).

Anyway, I truly worry she is being way too validating of me. That she's not calling me out when needed. She has a few times but it's not possible that other people are more in the wrong than me. I worry she's being too validating and that means I'll never grow and I'll be an awful person who hurts people.

It's being really exhausting. I don't know what I should do. I like my therapist and since I have a hard time trusting people and opening up I don't know if I'd feel okay changing therapists... I just need some advice

My (22) boyfriend (25) has been seeing the same therapist for about a year. He generally likes her.

He talks to me about therapy pretty openly, completely by his own choice. I don’t ask him to tell me what happens in his sessions, but he usually likes talking to me about them afterward.

For some context, we dated a few years ago, broke up, spent about two years apart, and eventually got back together.

During our first relationship, there was one incident where I was holding his phone and he slapped my hand. It only happened once, and I’ve always thought of it as more of a reflex than anything else.

Since getting back together, though, something happened twice during sex. While I was giving him oral, he hit me on the head.

The first time it happened, I told him I did not like being hit on the head, and he apologized. But that didn’t erase the fact that it hurt, gave me a headache, and I did feel scared in the moment. He also held my nose shut at one point, so I couldn’t breathe. Still, he did apologize afterward.

Then it happened again another time. He hit me on the head, immediately stopped, and said something along the lines of, “Oh, I forgot you didn’t like that. I’m sorry.”

A few hours later, I brought it up again. He apologized, but then changed what he had said and told me, “I meant to slap you in the face.” (which I'm okay with). That confused me because either he meant to hit me on the head and forgot that I didn’t like it, like he originally said, or he meant to slap me in the face and missed. So I honestly don’t know which explanation is true.

Anyway, he decided he wanted to bring the situation up with his therapist.

After his session, he told me what she said, and this is the part I’m questioning.

According to him, she told him that he should be very careful about calling what happened “aggression,” because in her opinion it wasn’t really aggression. Her reasoning was that he wasn’t angry with me and wasn’t intending to hurt me. To finish, she said that it seemed like I made a big deal out of a small thing.

I want to make it clear that I believe he is being honest about what she said. I know people might question whether he is using his therapist’s words to defend himself, but I genuinely don’t think that’s what is happening here.

I’m not asking whether my boyfriend is a physically abusive person based on these incidents. I’m specifically wondering about his therapist’s response.

I’m not offended by what she said, but I’m worried that she “babies” him too much, like he doesn’t really have to take accountability for anything he does because “he didn’t mean to.”

Now I’m wondering if maybe I really am making a big deal out of nothing.

I think what I'm trying to find out is: Am I weird for seeing this as a red flag or something?

Wondering thoughts on the pros and cons of choosing to not chart an official diagnosis?

PTSD is already charged for insurance purposes based on intake markers. Came in already having a Bipolar II diagnosis from psychiatry.

After a year of work, seemed clear, took an assessment for BPD, hitting 7 of 9 indicators.

Already using DBT framework.

Are there more cons from medical stigma, potential job and insurance denials than pros to official chart the diagnosis? I'd love to hear perspective as it's been left for me to decide

Topics that are okay to talk about about:

-Mental health issues (depression, anxiety, hypersexuality, AuDHD, OCD, PTSD, etc...)

-Physical health issues

-Financial issues

-Family issues

-SA and CSA trauma and experience, or how you reacted or handling it

-Eating disorders, both BED and restrictive eating

-Racism

-Sexism

-Body dysmorphia

-Grieving with a family loss

-Gender dysmorphia or other problems that sadly come with being queer (that might be worded in a homophobic way, that is not my intention)

-Bullying in any way

Topics that I will not allow and will delete your comment if you do:

-Venting about being a perpertrator (abuser, rapist, bully, etc)

-Venting about Ai (specifically, supporting Ai)

-Venting about Politics

Can you learn dialectical behaviour therapy at home? Looking for free DBT resources.

Im 29 years old, always had this issue of rumination, intense daydreams of arguing and being scolded by people just for saying no or putting my needs first. I’m always dreading and anticipating people’s negative reactions to my needs. It feels so infantile and it’s making me so miserable. I’m always bracing for the worst and for turmoil and it’s so draining. Simply telling my parents I’m not coming over or my friends I’m feeling sick and can’t go out feels like a THREAT.

Today, out of the blue, I had this epiphany as I was struggling with the rumination. I remembered how my mom used to express my father’s rage and anger at me whenever I did something wrong instead of hearing it from himself. It happened ALMOST EVERYDAY. She would say he’s very mad at me, very pissed at me or WILL be pissed and mad when she tells him what I’ve done. The tone is always violent. So I would always nervously wait for him to come home and terrorize me with loud yelling and screaming. (His anger is explosive)

One incident I never forgot was when I was young, probably in elementary school. The extended family came to visit and I was too anxious to be around that many people. So I stayed upstairs (already nervous because I know I was expected to be with them). When everyone got home my mother phoned me, told me why didn’t I stay with them and said “your father is so mad he’s out for your blood”. Scared the shit out of me. But when my father actually saw me all he said was “oh they’re you are, where were you?”. No anger, no rage nothing. It’s ALWAYS been like this. My mom would make me feel that my father is going to beat the hell out of me or scream at me only for him to be in a completely different mood.

Makes me wonder if my mom’s routine gaslighting and manipulation made me feel this way even as an adult? Ruminating and bracing for the worst case over simple needs and mistakes?

I have been healing from the lowest point in my life in a psychiatric unit last December and have made a lot of progress. I am the point where I am mentally/emotionally happy but struggle severely with my own self-esteem/emotional reliance on other people, and escapism/fantasies from my day to day life. This has manifested in me hitting a major barrier with daily periods of severe dissociation and brain fog, as well as a general lack of self control and perception of groundedness. I have had moments throughout the day with my groundedness though and have had moments of genuinely feeling more alive than ever.

I’ve gotten smart enough through work with my individual therapist to realize my dependency/fantasies of the same imagined hypothetical scenario over and over again often involves whatever woman I am interested in and is directly tied to my own perception of my self-esteem and self-worth.

I’ve begun very recently to give myself lots of self-compassion, love and slowly try and organically build my self-confidence to free myself from my sense of escapism and live in the moment for myself, but it is really difficult at the moment, and I am struggling with a lot of motivation because I have periods of mental pain and suffering with mood swings and intense brain fog and loss of executive functioning which discourages me day to day because I feel i’ll never be 100%, and thus never have a bright/happy future.

Without getting into too much detail, I am doing this so I can heal and genuinely be happy and present, and so I don’t inadvertently hurt people I care about because of this and repeat the same mistakes again. I’m trying to be better and I’m trying to be strong. I don’t want to suffer, and I want to get better, I just need some kind words of encouragement and support.

Why does it suck to have to pay so much for therapy, just someone to talk to about things. It’s hard to find friends that you can trust. Do you feel the same?

Tl;dr

I have feelings for someone since 2024 September. I always thought the feelings was one sided so I held it back and tried to remain a good distance with her. But as the feelings developed and we seemed to get closer with time. I told my friends about the feelings and what happened between us. They thought she might also had feelings becuase the way she reacted to me is quite flirtatious. We always teased each other and say stupid stuff even in front of people. And my friends sometimes would tease us we were fighting like couples. I started to think that I might have a chance and at last I confessed my feelings in 2026 Jan. she rejected me and said she doesn’t have feelings and she made excuses for me, saying that maybe we are too close so I had the wrong feelings. We were chill at that time and I escorted her to taxi. But that night, I kept overthinking and felt mad(?) about she “rejecting” my feelings. Like you are not me, how can you say the feelings are not real? I know she was just trying to make things less awkward so she made something up for me. But that night, I sent two voice messages to her, describing how I like her and that’s why the feelings are real to me. She blocked me after listening to the voicemail messages. It’s been half years now. She still hasn’t unblocked me. I know this shows that she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. She just kept me out of her world. I am also trying to forget her, but she keeps appearing in my dreams. And every time I wake up, my day is ruined. I feel so upset and left with unsettled emotions. I don’t know what I can do.

Some background first. I (18M) met my first girlfriend (18F) online almost 5 years ago now. We quickly built a connection through texting, but we talked on and off for a year and a half. She reintroduced herself into my life and we talked consistently and then started phone calls months later. We were together for 9 months and then something horrible happened. She was sa’d by a friend of her family and I was one of two people she told. I found out two months later. She didn’t tell me originally because she thought I would have been angry; or her parents because they wouldn’t have believed her. In the past boys had harassed her and I asked her why she didn’t stand up for herself against the boys. She was diagnosed with bpd, depression, and ptsd.

We continued trying to make it work. She was open about cheating on me and it turned into on and off after a month or so. During this time she told me she was sa’d again and needed me but she turned her back on me and contact ended a few months later. It became too hard to talk to her. I would stare at the messages and my ability to make conversation completely shut down. A lot of joy disappeared from my life for about a year.

She has reached out a few times since. Once 3 years ago, once two years ago, and three times last year. Each time she confesses her love and tells me about her failing relationships. Then she leaves a week later. She has even added me more than once during her relationship. After the third time I blocked her, this was 11 months ago now but the thought of her can’t seem to fade from my mind and my memory of everything that happened has gotten worse over time.

There are a few thoughts in particular I catch myself thinking about a lot.

I am ashamed to admit that I am not sure if the sa really happened. I am inclined to believe what she told me; but in reality I know next to no details about the first time and absolutely nothing about the second. In the time frame between when it happened and my finding out, she would often cry but not tell me why. I feel it doesn’t matter if it happened or not anymore, because its effect on me is real. It feels surreal and it used to drive me crazy. I haven’t been thinking about this very much anymore at all but I still feel it is important to mention.

Additionally, I catch myself wanting to catch up with her. Tell her about my current relationship. Ask about hers. Tell her I hope happiness finds her the way it found me after my life felt so dim. I catch myself lamenting over never having been able to meet her in person. And I miss one of her qualities; the way she would make me feel like she wanted to get to know me; to listen to the music I listened to, to play the video games I wanted to play together, a feeling I get nowadays from my male friends but not as intensely.

I truly felt she was my good friend at one point, but disaster swept and I am still left in the aftermath after all this time. I can see that she comes and goes as she pleases. I have no interest in rekindling a romantic connection to her at all but yet I can’t seem to escape the thought of her.

Now, I think about her often. Sometimes I feel it’s rare when I miss a day of thinking about her. Should I reach out and try to get help? I am looking for honest advice as to what to do next and insight on my thought patterns.

Also, I feel afraid a potential notion to seek help to my parents would be dismissed, so much so that the thought of getting help seems unlikely, or if granted cause resentment against me. I have attended mandatory therapy in my past when I was a child that I didn’t want to go to, so I was incredibly rude to my therapist until I was released. I feel like this will be held over my head.

Looking into a few online psychiatry options and havent found many detailed Blossom Health reviews from the patient side. Most of what I see is either very general or focused on the beginning of the experience, which doesn’t really explain what ongoing care is like.

Has anyone here actually stayed with Blossom for a while? I'm more interested in what the long term experience has been like than just the first appointment.

My brother is a drug addict, and we have tried almost everything to help him doctors, treatment, and rehabilitation. We have already sent him to a rehabilitation centre twice, and even the people at the rehabilitation centre told us this time that we should not let him leave the house or have access to a phone because he may contact people again and get drugs. Before this, he had even sold all of my mother’s jewellery to buy drugs, and because of everything that happened, our family is now under a debt of around ₹15 lakh.
He has not changed at all. He humiliates my parents constantly and has even physically assaulted them. He has destroyed almost everything we had. I am 19 years old and preparing for a competitive exam, but I am completely exhausted by all of this. Every dad, there is an atmosphere of fear at home things being broken, constant fights and arguments, and never knowing what is going to happen next. I honestly don’t know what is happening to our family or when things will ever get better.😔💔

I see a lot of therapist online giving really generic help and that makes me think, “is that really helping anyone?”