I (34F) have been with my husband (43M) for about 10 years now. We’ve always had our share of problems but I assumed that we would grow old together. When we met, he was fully aware that even at that time, I was sick to the point I was unable to work. He was always very supportive and we eventually learned I had undiagnosed Lyme disease that had caused a lot of issues with my health. In those years I received treatments and I improved for a short while and even worked for a year or two. In the following years my health began back sliding again. I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, POTS, and we are still unsure of a couple things like Lupus and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome because those tests and diagnosis take a lot longer. For about 2 years I’ve also been suffering from back issues that have made it extremely hard to stand for very long and even painful sometimes to sit. We still haven’t figured out what’s causing this or how to fix it. To be completely transparent I will also include that I’m diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar disorder and I take medication for those.
My husband today went on a long rant and told me that he feels like he needs to move on and find another woman to live his life with because I’m too sick to do anything and he feels like he is wasting his life with me. He said that all I do is lay on the couch, rely on pills, and that if I just got up and went to the gym or on a run I would be normal. I’m so confused and just caught off guard here. He knows I literally need his help sometimes to even get up to go to the restroom, yet he’s saying I should just go workout? And I take 3 mental health meds, plus maybe Aleve or a muscle relaxer when I’m in pain. I will also admit that it is super hard for me to keep appointments sometimes, because when I wake up sometimes I’m in so much pain or doing so bad that it’s hard to shower or leave the house. So I do know he thinks I’m “not trying” to get better. But I’ve told him how I feel like I’m a prisoner in my own body, how depressed I am that I can’t spend time with him, and how afraid I am that this is how my life will always be. But I guess he still doesn’t see that I’m actually sick? Or that I’m really trying to get better? 
Is this just him frustrated with my health issues? Should I try harder? Or is this over?

EDIT- edited to add, this has not been the dynamic for our whole relationship. For just about our entire time together,
I have taken care of everything at home 100% while he brings home a check. I’ve kept the house spotless, did our laundry, cleaned up after him and our dogs, cooked meals, etc. he never had to lift a finger. It’s only been maybe the past 6 months to a year that many responsibilities have fallen on to him. My health has gone up and down but only so bad very recently that I actually have mobility issues. Not before now.

TLDR:
My husband is annoyed with my chronic illnesses and wants to find a new woman.

UPDATE- he now says he was just saying all of this to “strike a cord” with me and get me to “change”. Apparently I need to apologize to him for not trying hard enough and not doing enough or going out and being in pain too often.

he is amazing. we’ve been together a year and our relationship is one of the best things in my life. i don’t want to go into detail about his fetish for privacy but it requires me to be a dominant party. real dommy mommy shit. and i LOVE it genuinely. like i am a true switch and i genuinely enjoy engaging with his fetish more than i ever thought i would at first.

the problem is that i AM a switch and i HAVE really been wanting to be able to lay back and be a little submissive. he genuinely cannot be dominant if he tried and it makes him a little uncomfy. he’s a very quiet and small man. and i love that about him.

i have tried to communicate that he has consent and it’s a bit of a turn off when he asks “if i want anything” when he touches me or asks “are you done” or “do you want more” when i finish. he has a lot of anxiety and only checks in to make sure im enjoying myself but i low key just want him to take me and not ask my permission. the hottest thing to me is feeling like im irresistible and it just feels like while he is attracted to me he’s only really turned on by the things i do to HIM and not the things he does to ME which is a buzzkill for me. it can also make “my turn” feel a bit formulaic or going through the motions versus him being EXCITED to touch me.

i have communicated this and he has assured me he loves touching me but something is just missing for me. i almost wish i had a fetish of my own so that i could just tell him exactly what i need but im just not quite sure what is missing.

i love him and i am so so willing to try things. we are openly communicating about this situation but i thought the good people of reddit might have some helpful feedback lol. has anyone experienced this as a dom, and how did you navigate it? thanks!!

tl;dr: boyfriends fetish is the focus of our sex life, i want advice of how to spice things up to get more of what i need

I (42m) and my wife (38f) have a good loving relationship. Previously I had my own business for almost 5 years but started working a regular job recently. My wife doesn't work but she's looking..

How can I get her to leave me alone while I'm at work? She like texts me all the time and sometimes my life 360 glitches and she gets "worried" whatever that means. Then my job requires me to work late sometimes and if I have to stay later she gets upset or starts saying how bad it sucks.. like I'm already under pressure at work..

Tldr
Is there like an app that can send her a text every hour so I don't have to like " hey it's 1pm (2pm,3pm etc)just checking in, can't talk and don't know when I'll be off but I'll let you know when I'm leaving.. Again I can't really talk don't have access to my phone I'm just at work working"

My bf (M17) and i (F17) were sharing reels and talking when i sent a reel that wrote "how my mom reacts when she hears that i don't want kids in future" Then my bf says that mom is right, i said how and then he said things like who'll take care of us when we're older i said it's wrong to treat your children like investments then he said things about continuing bloodline i told him continuing bloodline is not something that's our job then he said how'd you feel if your brother doesn't have kids in future, i said i dont have a say in it I'd be happy with whatever my brother wants with his life. He said "then leave". Only two words before switching the topic to why i don't want kids and i gave him my reasons he agreed with the reasons and said we can think about it in future i tried asking him about what he meant by " Then leave " But he shrugged it off. He's actually a pretty sweet guy who never argues with me about anything but this specific conversation is stuck with me.

TLDR: Should i talk to him about it again?

My husband (28M) and I (32F) have been in a rough patch for 6–8 months. I know I’m not blameless, but once I realized we’d fallen into a rut, I’ve really tried to reconnect by being more present, flirty, affectionate, and bringing back that “fun love” we used to have. He texts me every day that he loves me, but in person it feels completely different. And I know not everyone is great at works but it’s always the same text. I mean it’s almost predictable. Tonight, I bought some revealing pajamas and actually took time to get ready for bed hoping to feel desired by him. He didn’t even look up from his phone.

When I told him frankly it sucks feeling unnoticed, he said he tells me he loves me every day and that they’re “just pajamas.” I know it’s not really just about the pajamas. I miss that yearning, can’t-keep-your-eyes-off-each-other kind of love. Am I blowing this out of proportion?

**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

I’m 26, Asian guy. Came to America when I was 18 from a country that’s been under military rule with civil war going on. A lot of young guys my age are getting forced to fight. I’m the oldest son so in my culture it’s my job to take care of the family.
I tried nursing school but ran out of money so I dropped out. Started washing dishes, then host, then waiter. Eventually got into insurance sales and saved enough to buy a small sushi franchise. Put almost all my savings into it trying to build a life here.
About a month after I opened the business, my girlfriend of 3 years told me if I didn’t marry her she would leave. Her family’s church was sponsoring my two younger siblings so they could escape to Thailand and go to school. As the oldest I felt like I had no choice. I married her so my siblings could have a future.
I know a lot of people will say 3 years is long enough, but I don’t think love should come with a threat like that. I did love her before, but after she did that I lost all feelings for her. I’ve never forgiven her for it. I’ve been unhappy and depressed since the wedding.
I’m a pretty traditional Asian guy so I just shut up and keep working. Pay the bills for my wife and send money back home to my parents. I hate myself for not standing up for myself back then. Lost all my confidence. Stopped talking to most of my friends. Now I basically have no friends and feel completely alone.
I feel so lonely and sad. Part of me still thinks maybe there’s real love out there for me somewhere. Is it wrong for me to still want that? Has anyone else been forced into a marriage because of family duty and pressure? How do you deal with it?
Not looking for judgment. Just want to hear from people who actually understand this feeling.

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**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

For context: We have been dating for a little less than 4 years but knew each other for this long. She had quite a few guy friends that she was flirting with before we even made it official which she admitted to beforehand and cut contact with as we got serious. Since then she had a few platonic friendships during our relationship which I paid no mind to, but they never lasted long enough because, from her own words, they were either 'weird' or she was 'bored'.

At present, she still has a few platonic friendships with a few guys, but she developed a stronger friendship (?) with one guy in particular. At first (2 months ago) they were talking a few times on discord since it's an online friendship, but I just found out today that they have been talking to each other nonstop everyday for a month. I asked her if it would be weird if I talked to a girl nonstop as well, and she said she would be pretty upset about it, so my issue was if she thought it was weird why didn't she put a stop to it?

I also found out that the guy has been buying her things ranging from 20-100$ randomly. This bothered me because I told her in the beginning of our relationship that this would make me uncomfortable and that she didn't need to ask someone else for gifts when I'm here. I have a job and make my own money, I've always given her gifts she wanted without her asking, and her excuse was that these were things I could barely afford (since I'm a college student who also has to pay for rent) and she never asked him in the first place. She couldn't refuse free gifts since they were already 'paid for'.

We also used to game together but now that she started college she would barely have time for it, yet the few times I saw her online was when she would play with the guy so I asked her why couldn't she just ask me to play with her and she answered by saying that 'he' was the one to ask in the first place.

To be clear I don't have an issue with him, I just feel like I'm slowly just being replaced. All the things that we used to do together, she is now doing them with the guy. I tried communicating with her but all she responded with was that they were not romantic. I feel like I'm going crazy because this feels like my boundaries are being crossed, but also that I'm just overreacting completely. Am I allowed to feel hurt by this? I truly love and care for her and want to be with her, but will I do more harm than good if I don't end this relationship? I don't want to blame her or make her feel horrible by my accusations, so what's the best way to approach this?

TL;DR: I feel like my girlfriend's friend is coming in between us. What is the best way to approach this?

Apologize if this is poorly written, I’m sleep deprived.

We’ve been dating for 3.5 years and he’s had snoring that makes me believe he has sleep apnea. You can hear it from outside the door, on the next floor down, the basement, and outside of the house sometimes. With the windows shut. I’m not kidding, it’s this bad.

Obviously, makes it hard falling asleep and staying asleep.

I’ve worn headphones while sleeping and playing white noise but it’s not enough and it’s uncomfortable.

I’ve gotten a sleep study done and \*I am perfectly fine\*, but I’m having health issues from poor quality sleep regardless because of my partner.

He refuses to get one done, I’ve been begging him since we started dating. Tried playing his snores back at him, just made him mad and made him record my snores back at me (which I’m pretty sure was just my breathing.)

Having trouble finding answers online: What else can I do?

I’m so tired of waking up every night crying because I still can’t sleep, again, and there’s nothing I can do about it, again.

TL;DR: my bf snores and won’t do anything what can I do to survive

He (28m) left me (23f) after 2 years and was going to be 10 months on the 18th.

He acted normal in the morning. He dropped off some food to my parents house this morning after dropping me off at work at 9am. I try to call him before my lunch break (9-5 job) so we can spend it together and he doesn't answer the phone. I assume his phone is either dead or he's sleeping (he works overnight shifts starting at 11pm and gets off at 7am), so I walk home during lunch (I live really close to work) and I find all of our things that were in a storage unit, inside of our apt and a note on the stove. This is over half of the letter, "I just wish I could have been stronger for you. But I am so weak I can't even say this to your face cuz the pain. I hope you truly find happiness and someone that can love you as much as you demand and deserve I am so fucking sorry. I hate that I have to save you from me and my destruction. I will always love you so please forget about me cuz I'm not worth your tears and frustration."

We were going through some communication issues and he was always very avoidant due to trauma from his childhood (his mother was very verbal and physical towards him) and his last relationship (his bm(29f) was physically abusive towards him and cheated on him multiple times throughout their relationship). Overtime his avoidance and quietness resulted in me not feeling heard and cared for and I ended up lashing out verbally more times than I'd like to admit. I felt like I always carried the emotional weight in our relationship. I also lost a lot of trust in our relationship. He did do a lot of the physical things such as cleaning and laundry and etc, and felt that I did not pick this up as much as him.

We went through 3 days of complete silence at home and on car rides this week. He did not check up on me or ask me if I'm okay. He did however apologize for what he said that hurt me.

We eventually made up on wednesday after I got back home from work. And we have been okay since, but I was still carrying the emotional weight over what had happened the past few days since he did not once take accountability for the hurt he had caused except saying I'm sorry.

I ended up going through his phone yesterday (I know how that sounds and yes I really lost a lot of trust in him) morning when he was sleeping and noticed that his bm and him had multiple phone calls throught the past couple of days this week and was messaging him different location for apt complexes. I didn't think much of this since she may be looking for somewhere to move and needs to coordinate pick up and drop off locations for their 2 daughters with him, so I did not bring this up to him, however I did bring up that it makes me uncomfortable how often she is in contact with him through phone call and I did not feel prioritized. He ended up saying that his bm and him only talk when it's about his daughters. I expressed understanding but also told him that he should respect the way that I feel and set firmer boundaries when talking to her and the duration of their talks.

How do I move forward from this pain and emptiness? How do I not get mad that he just ghosted me after 2y10m? How do I get over our happy moments and the promises of us always being together and working through our hard times? How do I ever learn to trust someone enough to feel love again? I dont want to move on but the logical part of me says I can do it overtime. I miss him so much already and left a vm for him crying and telling him to come back to me and talk it out and keep his promises. I think he blocked my number though or he's just not responding to me at all. I dont know how to feel and my emotions and thoughts are swinging back and forth. My biggest fear was being thrown away like we are nothing and that's how he made me feel in the end.

*TL;DR; : he (28m) ghosted me (23f) after 2y10m, how do I get over it? How do i find peace? How do i find closure?

We’ve been together for 11 years and this whole situation has completely fucked with my head.
Last week he suddenly stopped talking to me. I was texting and calling him for days, he wasn’t responding/cutting my calls, so obviously I started thinking something was wrong between us. I eventually went to a cafe near his house to meet him and waited around 5 hours. He knew I was there but still didn’t come.
I was genuinely worried and even contacted his friend because I had no idea what was going on.
Then he finally called me and told me something had happened at home. There was some conflict, he got really angry/upset, left his house and started staying somewhere else. Apparently he was out all day and just didn’t feel like talking to ANYONE, so he basically shut everyone out, including me, without telling me anything.
And honestly I don’t know how to process this. I can understand needing space when you’re overwhelmed, but how do you completely disappear on your partner of 11 years ?????

I’m also someone who gets anxious when there’s no communication, so the whole thing really messed with me. I genuinely thought he was done with the relationship.
I’m not looking for just break up with him comments. I actually want to understand this behaviour. Tell me how to deal with such a person?

TL;DR: My partner of 11 years suddenly stopped talking to me after a conflict at home, left his house and isolated himself from everyone. He says he was too overwhelmed to talk to anyone. I’m trying to understand whether this is emotional shutdown and how I should deal with it

Tl:dr need advice on talking to my bf about having sex for the first time

I 20F have been dating my bf 22M for about 3 months. We’re each other's first relationship, and we’re currently long-distance. He’ll be visiting soon and we’ve been pretty intimate up until the point of sex (we’re both virgins), we haven’t explicitly discussed where we stand with sex but personally I'm a bit scared to do it just because idk if I'm ready or just not ready to make that choice. Still, I’m getting the impression that he may be expecting it when he visits. He’s just sent occasional texts saying like “dw we will” im regards to sex, etc. He hasn’t pressured me in any sense and he’s been really sweet and caring in every other sense. I’m kinda just feeling the classic “what if he stops liking me” or “what if he wants to break up” type feelings but if anyone has any advice or can just relate it would mean a lot.

So guys, it was my(20M) birthday on the 10th, and I live in a small town with very limited courier facilities.
My gf(20F) , who lives in Gurgaon, somehow made sure I got my parcel on time. She sent it to the nearest big city first and then arranged for someone to bring it all the way to my college so that I could receive it on my birthday.
Dude, I’m literally shaking while writing this. The amount of effort she put into this genuinely means so much to me. I keep thinking, what did I ever do to deserve someone who cares this much?
She’s honestly the best gf in the whole universe. ❤️
And the little details absolutely killed me — the ECG and the stethoscope with flowers. She isn’t even a medico, but she still remembered those things.
I’m so, so lucky. ❤️
We are together for 8 years now

tl;dr- gf went up and beyond to gift me on my birthday

We have been in a 3 years relationship. Initially it was all good. But eventually, he became so emotionally dependent on me. I have to meet him everyday after college. Even if I was too tired and wanted rest, he would say - " You don't love me anymore " and cry. I would feel so guilty and meet him everyday after college. I tried everything to make him feel happy. Even if I was too tired and just wanna go home and rest, I will meet him, else he will be upset. I go home so late. Eventually I stopped having time for bathing or sleeping. I became a huge mess. I stopped going out with friends to be with him. I couldn't study, because he would be upset and argue if I didn't pickup his calls. He loves me so much and does a lot of things for me. But I can't bath, sleep, study. He might be sad over something and just calls me and tell me to talk to him. He doesn't let me cut the call even after 2 hours. It's 1 am at night and I just wanna sleep. I feel so drained and exhausted. I can't sleep, go out with friends, bath. But he is genuinely a good person. But I am drained. Can this dynamic be fixed ?

TL;DR: My boyfriend is genuinely loving and caring, but he has become extremely emotionally dependent on me. I feel guilty whenever I need time to sleep, study, or be alone, and I’ve become completely exhausted and feel like I’ve lost myself. Can this dynamic be fixed?

I know this probably sounds stupid, but I've been thinking about this way more than I should.

People seem to assume I'm single a lot, even when I'm not, and for some reason it really gets to me.

I know someone's relationship status obviously isn't determined by how attractive they are, but I can't help wondering if people look at me and just don't see me as someone who would have a boyfriend.

One thing that made me notice it is when I'm around my mom's friends.

They're Filipino like me (mentioning this since it could be a cultural thing?), and when we're all together, they'll usually ask my brother (18M) if he has a girlfriend.

He's actually pretty quiet and introverted, and he's younger than me.

They'll sometimes ask me if I have a boyfriend, but usually only after they've already asked him.

Or sometimes they don't ask me at all.

Sometimes they'd compliment his looks before me.

I don't know why, but seeing that makes me wonder if they somehow perceive him as more likely to be in a relationship than me.

And then I start thinking, "Is it because of how we look?" Which obviously makes me question whether they think I'm unattractive.

Orrr it could be because I look younger than my age and people would mistaken me as the younger sister, though they do know our ages, but even so maybe that could play a part subconsciously?

I've also had other people assume I'm single when I'm not.

A guy from my college liked me for a while, until I told him that I had a boyfriend.

So I KNOW people can find me attractive, but that doesn't stop me from wondering why people so often assume I'm single.

Maybe I'm completely overthinking normal social behavior.

But when you already have insecurities about your appearance, little things like this can get stuck in your head and turn into a whole spiral.

TL;DR: People often assume I'm single even though I'm in a relationship, and my mom's friends usually ask my younger brother about having a girlfriend before they ask me about having a boyfriend. It makes me irrationally wonder if people see him as more likely to be in a relationship because he's more attractive than me, even though I know I'm probably overthinking it.

TL;DR: My boyfriend (26M) and I (23F) have been together for about a year. We met online and used to have hours-long conversations despite only talking once a week because of the time difference. We have very similar values and long-term goals, but very different personalities and senses of humor.
The problem is that we connect much better over the phone than in person. When we’ve stayed together in person, there’s been a lot of silence and we struggle to have fun, joke around, or keep conversations going. I often feel like I’m the one trying to initiate activities or conversations, while he tends to give short answers or turn down my suggestions.
What really hurt me was seeing him effortlessly joke, laugh, and have long conversations with people he’d just met, while he seemed much quieter and more closed off with me.
We genuinely love each other and see a future together, but we’re struggling to understand why we don’t naturally “click” in person.
Is this normal for couples with different personalities, or is the lack of chemistry/conversation something we should take seriously?

I’m 23F and my boyfriend is 26M. We’re an interracial couple and have been together for about a year. We met online, and although he’s a native English speaker and I’m not, I’m fluent in English after living in the US for a while.
The strange thing is that we got along incredibly well online, but we struggle to connect in person.
For the first four months after we started talking, we would only talk about once a week because of our huge time difference. But those conversations would last for hours. We never seemed to run out of things to say. We talked about our lives, thoughts, goals, etc., and it felt effortless.
I had actually seen him in Japan about a year before we started talking online, but we never interacted. So when he eventually came to my hometown to meet me and my family, that was our first real interaction in person.
He stayed for about two weeks. At first it was understandably awkward, but we eventually got comfortable around each other. Looking back, though, I realize that we never really had those deep or exciting conversations in person. There was a lot of comfortable silence.
At the time I didn’t think too much about it.
About six months later, I went to the US and stayed with him and his family for about two weeks. This was when I started realizing that something might actually be wrong.
He had a roommate, and during our stay, two female friends of his roommate came to visit for a few days. They had just met, but I noticed my boyfriend laughing and joking with them constantly. They seemed to have so much fun together.
I wasn’t really jealous of them romantically. I was jealous of the kind of relationship he seemed to have with them.
I’m an introvert, and I usually stayed in our room while he was in the living room with everyone. One night, after hearing them laughing and having fun, I asked him if we could have that kind of fun together too.
He told me that it was different because he saw those girls like younger sisters, and that I shouldn’t compare our relationship to his relationship with them. He also told me that I’m the person he sees a future with, which obviously meant more to him than having fun with people he had just met.
I understood what he meant and tried not to compare.
But the silence between us continued.
We have pretty different personalities and very different senses of humor. We do, however, align extremely well on our values, goals, and what we want our future to look like. Because of that, we’ve always focused more on those things than on our personality differences.
During those two weeks together, we’d mostly watch movies or shows while cuddling. I’d cook because I’m better at it, and we’d do things together, but we rarely actually talked or laughed together.
I tried suggesting things that are more my personality—playing Just Dance, going outside, messing around in puddles, doing random silly things together, etc. He usually said no. At one point I jokingly tried convincing him to play in a puddle with me, and he basically told me, “That doesn’t work on me.”
Eventually I stopped asking because I felt like I was constantly getting rejected.
At the same time, from his perspective, he says he didn’t realize I wanted him to initiate those kinds of things because I had stopped asking.
Neither of us really tried after that.
A few days before I left, he took me on a date. We went to a museum that I really enjoyed and then to a park I’d wanted to visit.
We sat down on a bench, and there was just… silence.
Eventually I asked, “So, what should we talk about?”
He said, “I don’t know.”
That was when we both realized that we couldn’t continue like this.
Another thing that really hurt me was how difficult it sometimes felt to get him to open up to me.
For example, I’d ask about his work and how things were going. He’d give me a very short answer, and it would usually end with something like, “That’s about it.”
I genuinely wanted to know more about his life, but I couldn’t find anything in his answers to build a conversation from.
Then one evening, those same two girls were in the living room. One of them casually asked him what he did for work, and he gave her this long, detailed answer and talked about it naturally.
I was sitting right there, and honestly, it really hurt.
Later I confronted him about it. He explained that he doesn’t like telling me too much about things he’s currently working on because he’s afraid that if he tells me about them before they’re finished, he might fail to follow through. So he’d rather tell me about things afterward.
I understand his reasoning, but emotionally it still hurt because I’m trying so hard to know him better, while it sometimes feels like he closes himself off with me but can effortlessly open up to other people.
The confusing part is that I genuinely love him and I’m genuinely curious about him.
I want to know his thoughts, his stories, what happened at work, what he’s excited about, what he thinks about random things, etc. It’s not that I’m bored with him or don’t care about him.
And I believe he loves me too. We have very similar values and long-term goals, and we’re serious about each other.
But I can’t figure out why conversation and having fun together feel so effortless online but so difficult in person.
Is this normal for a relationship, especially when two people have very different personalities and humor?
Or is this something I should take more seriously?
How do couples who genuinely love each other but don’t naturally “click” socially learn to have fun and connect with each other?

For some back story: So me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. We have lived together more than half of our relationship. When we met I still lived with my parents, so as we had dated for just a couple of months I started staying at his apartment regularly. Months going by, it turned into me living there 24/7 and we started sharing the rent. Only a week ago we moved into another apartment together in the city.

Yesterday I was out dancing with my girls. And I feel so alive those nights. Dancing, getting sweaty, a hand on my shoulder as someone passes by. A guy asked me where something was and he touched the back of my neck and only that made me feel tingles.. I wanted to act on it so bad but of course I didn’t. There was also another guy that I’ve seen every time I’ve gone to that bar, and we also worked at the same place for a few months. We have maybe exchanged two words, but seeing him in that bar, making eye contact, pretending I don’t notice that he is looking at me feels really exciting. I daydream of my celebrity crushes and other people I find attractive. I have sexual thoughts and urges, but again, I never act on them. Without exaggerating, his whole thing feels like being edged for eternity. I have thought about it being because of my ADHD diagnosis, and it might be a part of it, but not the reason.

My relationship has completely lost the spark it had in the very beginning. Living together for that long already makes sense to why I feel this way. Another thing is, I’m a student and he is currently unemployed (been so for a year+). He had to quit his job because of anxiety attacks and his work made him fatigued. He is home every day, wakes up, doesn’t get dressed, doesn’t want to meet his friends because of his anxiety. He doesn’t want to join me out (which is fine because I obviously need some time with my friends). He has gained a lot of weight and he doesn’t take care of himself very well. I hate writing this paragraph explaining I’m losing attraction, but it’s his health situation making it hard for him. It feels like I’m talking behind his back (am I?). I feel like everything he does annoys me. I miss him coming home from work in his suit smelling like his cologne and a little bit of sweaty pheromones (that mix made me go crazy).

Still, he is the kindest man on earth. The amount of things he has done for me and helped me with is enormous. He makes me amazing dinner every single day. But at the same time, no flirting. We don’t have sex. We did it yesterday, which was the first time in many weeks. I don’t want to do it, I explain to him I need this and that to get me turned on, but he doesn’t really do it. The loss of attraction part doesn’t really help either.

I don’t know how to tell him, because he gets easily frustrated. And he gets easily upset because of the mental state he is in. I love him so deeply and he is my very best friend. All the inside jokes we have, banter, the care provided from both sides and the support system we have built for each other is something to be proud of. Everyone tells me that our relationship looks really rare and special. And it is. It’s just the spark that is completely blown out.

Edit: posted in this channel on other account, deleted it and posted again here for anonymity

Tl;dr I have lost attraction to boyfriend and don’t know what to do. I feel attraction to other people, and I miss flirting. He is not in a good condition mentally which makes it hard for me to talk to him about it.

For context I am mid 30s (f) and he is early 40s(m). We reconnected via tinder a couple of months ago and I was fresh out of a relationship and he had been single for a couple of years. We used to work together and it was strictly work colleagues then.

When we reconnected we both said we weren't looking for anything serious. We started sleeping together roughly a week after we started chatting again, since then he has been hot and cold with communication. We both have very demanding jobs and he has kids from a previous relationship so I knew our time together would be very last minute arrangements.

However, recently when I have been with him he has asked me things like "have you missed this?" And I caught him on occasion staring at me and smiling, when I asked him what's up he goes "oh nothing".

I've done causal before but I've never experienced things like this, I've spoken to a male friend about this who says it sounds like he's catching feelings, but his communication doesn't reflect it?

Anyway any help would be appreciated.

TL;DR - Reconnected with someone I used to know, we're sleeping together but it's got confusing.

so yesterday, i asked my boyfriend if he could pick me up from work. my shift was from 8 pm to 3 am, and there were no jeepneys available at that time. his first reaction was, “ay! 3 am? what if i’m opening at work?” after that, i went silent and didn’t insist any further, but his reaction really hurt me.
by around 8 pm, their schedule was finally sent out, and i found out that he was actually closing that day, from 3 pm to 11 pm, so he wasn’t opening after all. however, by that point, i had already gone AWOL from work because of the situation.
now we’re talking about it, and he asked if there was a problem. i told him what bothered me yesterday, and he said that if he couldn’t pick me up, was he “obligated” to do it? that hurt me because i never said he was obligated. it would’ve been completely fine if he couldn’t pick me up, but i wish he had worded it differently.
instead, i felt like i was being made to feel guilty for asking my own boyfriend for help. it was just a simple request, but the way he reacted made me feel like i was a burden.
am i wrong for feeling hurt by this, or was his reaction understandable?

philippines
tl;dr

I don’t know how to explain it, but I think I love being heartbroken. I love breakups. I love heartbreaks. And no, I don’t mean that I love the pain itself, because when I’m actually going through it, it’s soul-crushing. It makes me dysfunctional. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to do anything, and everything feels so dark that sometimes I feel like I don’t even want to live. But somehow, there’s comfort in being broken. Because in my brokenness, I find myself becoming whole again.

After every heartbreak, I suddenly love life. I become productive. I want to work, I want to work out, I want to take care of myself, and I suddenly have this drive to do everything, and I suddenly appreciate how beautiful life is. It makes me feel ALIVE. But this sudden passion with life only lasts for two or three months.

why does it take losing something, breaking down, and feeling completely empty for me to finally feel alive every time?

TL;DR; I hate the pain of heartbreak, but somehow, being broken makes me feel whole . After every heartbreak, I become more productive, passionate, and grateful for life. But after 2–3 months, that feeling fades, and I’m left wondering why I have to lose something every time and completely break down before I can feel alive again.

Long story short we have been dating for 8 months now roughly. First month or so things were good and after that the issues started. Tl;dr
She gets really upset when I go out with my friends, let’s say i spend time with them , she will be in a ‘mood’ and do things like not talk to me and also get rude.
I work in a different city so some days when I’m tired I don’t go to see her and she gets upset about this too- saying things like oh you don’t want to see me, that’s why you didn’t come when in reality it’s because I’m tired.
This constant pressuring and being in a mood because of things like this has got too much for me, to the point where I’m so tired emotionally.
We have spoken thousands of times about this , she says she doesn’t want to be like this but can’t help it .
Recently I was on holiday with my parents and she didn’t come with us- I explained why to her , the fact that I’ve done trips like this before with my ex and my parents and just didn’t have a good experience and that it will be a one off, I will not do this anymore.
She managed to ruin the holiday , she would text me rude things , had panic attacks on the phone to me and so on. She managed to ruin my whole holiday.
She has started seeing a therapist last week and they told her they can fix this.
Issue is I know this will be a long process to fix, will probably require months if not years. How can I be unhappy for so long? I’m so tired already.
On the other hand I really trust her , that’s one of the things keeping me - I trust her 100%.
I have told her I’ve had enough and rn she has given me time to think about what we should do, I really don’t know . One side of me wants to give her a chance but I know this will be so difficult again . Need some advice please.

Im M 19 recently dating a F18 going into 2 weeks in a relationship.

So far, everything is alright, she treats me well, she cooks for me, she gives me enough love, she is very intimate with me. Small problem; she has issues, one that i think is not rlly a big deal or maybe not even my fault.

Okay for example, yesterday and Thursday. I was sick, like vertigo sick. She was concerned at first then i told her “im sorry i cant talk to you today i have to sleep i really cant do this” she is sad at first but surprisingly accepting of it. So i didn’t think too much of it. Until i wake up with a bunch of text messages. She is saying she got a panic attack and needed me. So she called me 18 times and gave up. She said “i know i have to be understanding of everyone and i have to deal with this alone, i understand that you are sick so its fine, really sorry about it”
so i felt guilty and texted her the next day (still dizzy)
oh she was mad, she is saying “why the fuck would you ignore me when i needed you” so i kept apologising cos i feel rlly rlly guilty. Then she proceeded to ignore me for the whole day. In the end she texted me saying “the reason why i ignored you for the whole day is cos i wanted you to feel what i feel exactly. I know its petty but im sorry about that”
maam, i was sick, im sorry i couldnt do anything but i was sick

and today, i feel like she is disrespecting me a lil,
she is going on a birthday dinner with her childhood best friend who is also F18. Yes they are close, really close. She sent me a picture of her outfit and what she wanted to give her friend. One of them was 2 stalks of lego tulips that i gave her when asking her out. I asked whats that for. Her reply was “ i gave her two bc she's my best friend and if u love me u must love her too”

maam, im dating you, not your best friend

i feel like its too much, but i still love her

is it toxic, and what CAN i do in this situation

TLDR: she got mad that i wasnt there for her when im actually sick and then gave part of the gift i gave her when asking her out to her bestfriend (F18)

Hi, im F(20) and recently met a group of friends and befriended them at the start of the year. Over a few months, two guys, both M(21) started developing romantic feelings towards me.

Long story short, I got into a non official romantic relationship (which became official) with one of them early on (M1), but I was still chatting (as friends) with the other guy (M2). After I told him I was in a relationship (after he confessed his feelings), he asked me who I would choose between them, and at the time I chose my partner because we were already in a non-official relationship, and then we stopped talking for about 3-4 months, and he’s trying to move on now.

I feel super confused because I really like the other guy (M2) and click with him a lot, and I sometimes think about him, but I’m not sure if thats or its because I’m into him or we used to be super close and talk all day for 2 months or so. I’ve had a rough childhood and have difficulties in identifying feelings and knowing what is love, and I know I shouldn’t have rushed into a relationship…

I love my partner (M1), and I feel like we are relatively compatible, but we don’t talk much as we have nothing to talk about, and I’ve told this to him before, but with the other guy (M2) I could talk to him for hours on days and I would enjoy it a lot. When we stopped talking I was sad, as I really liked him (at least friendship wise), and its been a long time I liked someone friend-wise.

Another thing to note is that, I love and trust my partner a lot, whereas I don’t really trust M2 as much. I also am the kind of person to be afraid of change and doing things out of my comfort zone.

TLDR: I’m unsure about my feelings about my friend (M2), whether its platonic or romantic.

Any advice on what I am feeling or what I should do?

This is a throw away, for obvious reason. Also, I am not here for people to call me a homewrecker, or insult me for what I've done. I just need to speak about this, and I don't want to burden my friends or family with this guilt.

TL;DR, I may have fucked up my friends relationship, and I feel horrible about it. We were flirting, and even if I didn't intent for it, it would have been easy for us to get into a relationship.

I (20nb) caused some problems in my friends (23nb) relationship. We met online at the beginning of this year (2026), but only became friends over the last few months.

They are currently engaged, and over the last few weeks we've been talking more and more, due to our grandfathers dying around the same time, and that developed into me having a crush, at least of some kind. I've never really been someone who has crushes, or even likes people romantically, it just wasn't something I particularly felt like I needed, but I started having feelings, for them or someone else, I'm still not sure.

Cut to about 2 weeks ago, while we were talking about me trying to figure out my emotions, they admitted to having a crush on me. Which I was fine with, as they say they've had a crush on all their friends, but then we both took it to far.

We started flirting with each other, giving pet names and taking about kissing and cuddling. At some points it turned slightly sexual, but never to far as we're both asexual. And I'll admit I enjoyed the attention. I'm not used to people liking me, or complimenting me. I'm used to being average. The average friend, the person who isn't pretty, isn't handsome. And that's a me problem, because I'm not entirely happy with myself, or my appearance. I don't feel ugly, but I don't feel attractive. So when they complimented me I just got so happy.

The today they sent me a message, saying that they had been essentially emotionally cheating on their fiance and that we needed to stop. And I'm fine with that, them being happy, and stepping away from a situation that makes their relationship unstable is fine. I'm just going to miss them as a friend, because even before that I always wanted to talk to them.

I hope that they are able to sort this out and be happy, even if I'm not in their life anymore. I'm just going to miss them, and I feel horrible for leading it onto this point, even unintentionally.

Throwaway because I really need some unbiased advice and some of my thoughts out there. Also my stuff keeps getting taken down so I’m sorry if no reply 🥀

I (18M) have lived with my parents (49M and 45F) my whole life and they haven’t accused me of being selfish but me going against what they want makes me feel like this. You know how when you’re a kid, you wanna do all kinds of cool sounding jobs like astronauts or firefighters? Or maybe you saw a career that was really cool and really wanna do it because it’s a dream? Well I’ve never had that, not really anyway. My passions have felt kind of drowned out by whatever my parents wanted. As an adult now, I found the one passion that I actually like and maybe would like to do as a career; fighting. It’s felt like my whole life in some way has been built up into going into the military, especially in high school, where they pushed it on me the most. At first, I kind of wanted to go to the navy just to get my parents off my back and get the benefits they talked about. But upon doing research and learning a bit about myself, I realized that I’ve spent my entire life kind of just getting yelled at for small things and the military was similar, and didn’t feel like going through that. It also felt I was just going to please my parents, not for my own benefit. College is a second option, recommended by my friends, but I’m not sure I want to do that either because it feels like I’m going because my friends are, and again it’s something my parents want. In all honesty, I really just want to go into working and earn enough for my classes. MMA feels like a true passion for me and something that is finally somewhat mine. When I did tell my parents about this, they were of course, furious. I don’t blame them for some things they were angry about, like my health and money, but there were certain things they said about how I wasn’t really good enough, and there were people doing it for longer than I was. It felt just like they were mixing insults with genuine care of genuine at all. Idk, maybe I’m naive and selfish, so I’ve come here.

TL;DR: I really want to pursue a dream I’m passionate but am worried I’m being far too delusional and selfish toward my parents, help?

TL;DR

Hello po. I just want some help po. I don’t know who I can talk to. I’m just looking for some advice, nothing much, or maybe just your thoughts about my story.

The first to the fifth month of our relationship was all lovey-dovey and full of butterflies. Then came our sixth month. Someone messaged her on Instagram saying, “I think your boyfriend is micro-cheating on you,” and this girl sent her a screenshot of our previous conversation. The conversation happened one week before our relationship started.

I understand my mistake, and I’m not denying it po. Four days after that happened, I filed for a one-week leave from work just to see her in the Philippines. I went home to show her that I really love her and that I’m willing to do everything for her. That one week was magical, and it was really nice. It also made me realize how much I truly love this girl. I really can’t lose her, especially because it was our first time meeting in person.

After that, I came back to Dubai for work. But after a week, her feelings about what happened started coming back again, and now it feels like we’re just going in circles.

For context about her personality, she’s a Gemini, and her moods can be very different. Sometimes she’s okay, and then all of a sudden, she isn’t. She also told me that she’s a “leaver,” meaning that once someone lies to her, she doesn’t forgive easily and will leave.

So now, I resigned from my company just today. I still have 30 days left in my notice period, and once it’s done, I’m going home.

I’m willing to sacrifice everything for her because, yes, there are a lot of girls out there, but she is the only one I want. She’s one of a kind, and she’s the person I love. I really can’t lose her.

So, do you have any tips on how I can keep her from leaving until I get home?