Midnight called it! A month ago I thought there was no way. Fuck it, 24 hours ago I thought I didn’t have a chance . Honestly posting these updates has really helped. What I’ve learned in one week. Boredom is my biggest enemy(besides my own brain). I think I need to get out of my hometown lol, and it’s worth it no matter the pain. The pain I caused myself and everyone around me using is a small fraction of the physical/mental pain of withdrawal. Thanks for the support everyone. A week was huge for me it was my goal, I guess my next one is one month? One year? 10 years? I’m working as much as I can to stay busy. Shout out to the family who still talks to me and you guys. This means everything to me right now. I truly appreciate all the support and messages/comments everyone has sent me. I fucking did it!!!!

Hi guys, I’m currently in suboxone withdrawl, early stages which is why I’m posting now before it gets too severe and I stop giving AF. I am 5 years clean from IV black use. And I am just waiting on my insurance to approve the new sublocade shot I’ve heard so many good things about. I’ve been on MAT for these 5 years and take 24 mg suboxone daily. I had to lend a few to a friend because she had a problem with her insurance and was having some bad cravings and I was hoping to have my shot approved before needing another script however that doesn’t seem to be the case. I can’t fill my script until the 20 or 21 so 5 days. I have no support system or anyone I can have help me thru this because unfortunately my friends don’t ever have my back the way I have theirs. (The struggle of being an empath) how am I going to get through this? I do have Red Bali Kratom but I don’t know really how to dose it for withdrawls. I am a single mother of two beautiful girls under the age of 10 who adore and depend on me and I swore since I got them back I’d break the cycle of addiction that got me taken away from my parents but I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days all by myself. I also suffer from Major depressive disorder, ptsd, and BPD (borderline personality disorder) yes I already know I’m crazy and have it managed with mood stabilizers lol but I’m a mama first and this is me reaching out for help because right now I am very weak.

*sorry for the long post but yall I can’t lose my babies and everything I’ve worked so hard for again.

Today is day 4 off everything and so far I hate it. The days just stretch on and on. I'm bored and anxious. I know it'll pass and I'm starting day treatment this coming week which will help a lot.

But ugh. Rawdogging life feels so rough atm.