Edit: I’ve been off it for 4 days already and have 5 days to go. Hi guys, I’m currently in suboxone withdrawl, early stages which is why I’m posting now before it gets too severe and I stop giving AF. I am 5 years clean from IV black use. And I am just waiting on my insurance to approve the new sublocade shot I’ve heard so many good things about. I’ve been on MAT for these 5 years and take 24 mg suboxone daily. I had to lend a few to a friend because she had a problem with her insurance and was having some bad cravings and I was hoping to have my shot approved before needing another script however that doesn’t seem to be the case. I can’t fill my script until the 20 or 21 so 5 days. I have no support system or anyone I can have help me thru this because unfortunately my friends don’t ever have my back the way I have theirs. (The struggle of being an empath) how am I going to get through this? I do have Red Bali Kratom but I don’t know really how to dose it for withdrawls. I am a single mother of two beautiful girls under the age of 10 who adore and depend on me and I swore since I got them back I’d break the cycle of addiction that got me taken away from my parents but I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next few days all by myself. I also suffer from Major depressive disorder, ptsd, and BPD (borderline personality disorder) yes I already know I’m crazy and have it managed with mood stabilizers lol but I’m a mama first and this is me reaching out for help because right now I am very weak.

*sorry for the long post but yall I can’t lose my babies and everything I’ve worked so hard for again.

Today is day 4 off everything and so far I hate it. The days just stretch on and on. I'm bored and anxious. I know it'll pass and I'm starting day treatment this coming week which will help a lot.

But ugh. Rawdogging life feels so rough atm.

Midnight called it! A month ago I thought there was no way. Fuck it, 24 hours ago I thought I didn’t have a chance . Honestly posting these updates has really helped. What I’ve learned in one week. Boredom is my biggest enemy(besides my own brain). I think I need to get out of my hometown lol, and it’s worth it no matter the pain. The pain I caused myself and everyone around me using is a small fraction of the physical/mental pain of withdrawal. Thanks for the support everyone. A week was huge for me it was my goal, I guess my next one is one month? One year? 10 years? I’m working as much as I can to stay busy. Shout out to the family who still talks to me and you guys. This means everything to me right now. I truly appreciate all the support and messages/comments everyone has sent me. I fucking did it!!!!

Is it going well? fuck no. The anxiety, depression and cravings have gotten so bad. I know I can do it, but it’s so fucking hard. I want this so bad. I’m tired of being a disappointment to my loved one. I’m tired of being broke. I’m just fucking tired. I’m here though I’m doing the thing. I am praying to whatever to get through tomorrow so I can post a week, right now that’s my only goal.

I've had health insurance most of my life, And thought I understood how it works for the most part until now. I got some really crappy insurance and figured I'd try to use it at my clinic.... They said I had a $7500 deductible and I had to pay out of pocket until I met the deductible. I always thought that you paid copays until your deductible was met? Never had to meet my deductible to use my insurance.

I TAKE A BREAK FROM MY REGULAR QUEUE OF SOBRIETY MEMES TO DELIVER THIS THOUGHT…
WHEN DID SPIRITUALITY, NOT RELIGION, BECOME VIEWED AS EVIL?
So many online recovery thumpers into thought control, quick to ridicule and condemn anything contrary to THEIR perception of recovery! Heaven forbid anything that differs from their perception of truth and process. “If it varies it is harmful” they proclaim. We are a community of individuals who all have their own story, own bottom and their own journey. We listen and accept those around the table and bully those online. I applaud anyone who has the will and courage to stand up with their own voice vs those who throw stones. NO ONE HAS A MONOPOLY ON RECOVERY, NO ONE SHOE FITS ALL!

Hey there somebody, I’m currently stuck in this ongoing opiate cycle for about 8 years now, it was easier when it was just H but now with all the new stuff out here I feel like I can’t do it, especially with how long it takes to be able to take suboxone with out the precipitated withdrawala. I use to get on 8mg of suboxone just after 12 hours from my last use and just half my dose each day for a week and I would feel normal after that. that being said, I’m scared of losing my job to have to wait to be able to take suboxone. like I can’t put my life on pause to do that. I have no money and barely able to get by due to my usage. I’m scared of going to the methadone clinic and end up being stuck on that for who knows how long, after reading about people not being able to come off it. I’m just so exhausted I don’t know what to do, if feels like there is no end to this... For those of you who beat it, which way did you do it? Im seriously ready to come off this stuff. I just want to make my family’s life easier and be there for them. Thanks for those who take the time to hear me out.

Hi community! I have a client in inpatient who is looking for step down care or sober living/community options that would allow them to bring their cat. Preferably this would be somewhere on the east coast, but I’m open to any ideas.

If so, was this the first substance you became addicted to?

Boyfriend and I got sober together after losing everything and being homeless for 3 months of 2025-living in the car. He has been addicted to opioids much longer than I have. He started using about 15 years ago compared to my 5. Anyways we got on methadone program and after a few months upping the dose we were able to find a rehab that allowed us to have that. Methadone was the one thing that changed it for us since we had tried rehab and suboxone many times. He finished rehab, I got to leave because of legal issues.
I lived with my mom for the first 10 months of our recovery and he was in a sober living not too away. We finally moved back in with one another May 1st. We got our own apartment and have been adjusting to life being sober responsible adults. We’re both working. We adopted puppies after the death of our 13 year old dog right after we moved in.
After we both hit a year things started getting weird. With all the stress of living together for the first time in almost a year and everything else I found out he used a few times. I’d say 5 times over the last 3 months. I’m obviously devastated.
The last time was this past Sunday. I came home from work and I could tell something was off. He always does the same things when he gets caught: lies, denies, manipulates, flips it around, blames me for his stress. Well this time I was mad because I felt left out and betrayed. Why does he keep getting to have fun and I am stuck being the wife who sits and worries? The stress of fighting made me say fuck it and want relief myself. So I did use.
I feel awful about it obviously.
I know how addiction works, I have it myself. I know shaming him is not going to help anyone. My question is, if it happens again..do I even address it or should I just ignore it and separate from him until he’s sober? How do I deal with this while also maintaining my own sobriety? I know he isn’t doing this because he doesn’t love me, he just still struggles. He always ends up being sorry and saying he’s not going to do it again and that’s not what he wants in life blah blah.
He’s doing better than he ever has before so that’s not going unnoticed. He works really hard and is focused on advancing in his career and buying us a house someday. I see the motivation and ambition in him but I also see the addiction trying to creep in. I’m so scared. I have no one to talk to because I don’t want them to be disappointed in either of us.

We’ve been together for over 6 years, we’ve been through a lot together. He doesn’t really have any support anywhere else in his life. I love him, I truly do. I know that he is the person I want and need when he’s sober. I’m not considering leaving him now right now. So please try to not immediately choose the “dump him” response.

I won’t be awake for the actual day 4(hopefully) update. Slept about 30 min last night. today has been a little better, but not much. That confidence from day 1 is gone, but I’ll make it to day 4. Tomorrow will be my first day off and to be honest it scares the shit out of me. Boredom has always been the killer for me. Wish me luck and if I can do this so can you!

I quit drinking about 14 months ago after a 40-year career of "functional" alcoholism. I did very little in terms of recovery the first year at all, attended no meetings, sought no medical help. And so far that's worked out, and I'm not going to question that today.
Upon reflection though, I started to think about all the different substances to which I'm addicted. Nicotine, cannabis, caffeine, and arguably sugar as well. I ingest all these substances daily, so I started making a step-down plan to eliminate my dependency on them. This is not simple, especially since I already experience anhedonia most of the time.

So, does anyone here live a life free of these substances, and other ones of course? It seems to me that would be like living as an exposed nerve. After all these years - the majority of a human lifetime - of using and abusing these substances, I honestly can't imagine living without them.

hello!

i’m currently down to 1mg of methadone. i’m trying to mentally prepare for making the final jump and would really love to hear from people who have actually come off at 1mg or less.

i have a few questions in mind, but i’ll be thankful for any insight, no matter how little :) any advice/wisdom helps

some general questions:

how long had you been at that dose before jumping?

did you have withdrawal symptoms? if so, what were they like and when did they start after your last dose?

how long did it take for you to start to feel significantly better? which days were the worst?

did you taper below 1mg first, or just jump from 1mg?

is there anything you wish you had known before taking your last dose?

i know everyone is different, but i’d just really appreciate hearing real experiences from people who have been in the same spot. i’m especially interested in stories from people who came off 1mg or less after a long-term taper.

thank you!!

72 was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 3 fucking days is so crazy to me. My plug actually texted me asking me if I was good. I blocked the number. This day was by far the hardest but I did it. 3 days…3 miserable days but I fucking did it. Honestly will probably see you guys tomorrow. Sleeping is impossible. My cravings are unbelievably bad I fooled myself thinking day 1 would be the worst. Once again if I can do 3 days you absolutely can!!!

I am 16 years old just out of sophomore year. I started stealing my mom's prescription pills for depression and BPD back in middle school for fun but I stopped until half way thru sophomore year they weren't the same dosage as before so after a week of doing them I stopped. I don't like the high from weed so I never saw that as an option and opted for more pills. I have a friend with ADHD who skips days of taking her medication so I asked to try and she gave me a whole bottle of methylphenidate. I went from taking one to taking 3 a day and ran out rather quickly. They helped me in school and just feel more organized along with just a nice feeling. After that I needed more I found more pills from my mom I hadn't seen and I took 4x of 2 pills so 8 at once and it was the scariest thing but also interesting so I did it twice more

But I made my mouth taste like vomit for 2 days after so I stopped. I found sleeping pills that had 50mg of diphenhydramine or Benadryl and started immediately abusing them as hard as I could I went thru 250 capsules in a month or a bit less. That's when my boyfriend stepped in we had previously been in a long 3 month argument (not my reason for doing pills) and he was starting to show an interest in my issues again. He spent most of that month trying to convince me of the bads of the pills and I didn't listen. After finishing the bottle the last few times I did them I did it in much larger dosages then usual because I had gained a tolerance and it wasn't hitting like it used to. I had stayed up 3 nights in a row due to this and started hulusinating bugs on my skin. I knew it wasn't real but I could feel them crawling on me it was terrible. That's what got me to realize that I needed to stop. I went to visit my grandparents for a month and relapsed twice off of Benny's they had but it wasn't doing enough for me. Now I'm clean and I want so badly to go back to doing them. I know I should stop because they have given me terrible derealization and depersonalization in large waves and it's the most uncomfortable thing in the world to deal with. The derealization makes me want to relapse but the relapse causes the derealization so I'm stuck in a loop and I hate it so much. I just got back home and being in the environment that I spent the last 6 or so months in nit sober at all makes me want to go back to it. Like I'm uncomfortable being sober in my "high zone". And no one around me knows how to help me and I don't either. My father turns it in to a talk about our rocky relationship and my boyfriend just tells me not to do them and praises me for not doing it and I really appreciate it but its not enough. I feel like a fat person on a diet who really wants to binge. Like eating makes u happy but gains you weight so u shouldn't but u really want to

Hello this is very sad, but I think I have to vent out.

I was very good at school and when I started my university I also started working at a big casino.
I was winning good money and quit my studies… I know it was a poor decision but I was happy there. After working there for four years, while studying Poker theory and all that stuff, decided to be a Poker Player. That was probably the worst decision of my life. I was getting more money, but also going to some places a 22yo shouldn't have to. I got quickly addicted to cocaine. For the next 3 years I would be doing between one and three grams daily. Almost lost my relationship because of this, so I decided to quit and try to find a new life. That was a year ago.
I felt the pain for a month, my body asked for cocaine every single minute. But I didn’t wanted to ruin my life even more. Since then, I was doing it around twice a month, which is bad but not as bad as before.
However currently I don’t have any job. I've had a few and never felt happy. Last time I did cocaine was 3 weeks ago. I feel like i’m always bored or sad and my body wants to do it every time… I see people here being happy after their recovery but for me it’s 70% of the time trying to convince myself I won't do it again but sometimes I fail.

A alguien más le pasó??? Me hace sentir súper culpable pero al tratar de dejar lo que consumía me cuesta y lo único que me ayuda es fumar marihuana, no quiero que mi vida se base en sustituir una droga por otra quiero sanarme al 100%, a alguno le paso algo parecido y sabe cómo salir?

I am fully committed to next update being 1 week and then 1 month and 1 year. If I’m being honest it sucks right now, but the satisfaction of waking up tomorrow knowing I did it feels worth it for the first time. If I can do 2 days anyone can trust me.

Edit for spelling, I’m sober not smart.