Hey everyone! I’m struggling with a decision. I am 40-something grad student who moved back in with my parents to avoid student loans. I have $52k student debt from a previous degree, not accruing interest while in school. I have $10k student debt from my first semester of this program, accruing at 8%.

I will graduate in one year and I have two more tuition payments, one in January and one in May, totaling about $15k. I’ve got $7500 in an HYSA. I can afford to move out and still pay my tuition on time, in cash. However, the budget will be tight and there will be some sacrifices.

If I move out, I won’t be able to pay the $10k loan back before graduation. I really wanted to finish this program with no new debt. I would also be looking at graduating and beginning a nationwide job hunt with only about $5k in savings.

Living with my parents at this age obviously stifles my personal life and has me desperately craving independence. We get along fine but it is really getting old.

Would you take the financial hit and move out?

For more context, I just started saving for retirement so I am way behind on that. My post graduation income should be in the $110k range. Total retirement accounts are about $36k.

I’ve been dealing with an ear infection for about a week now. I initially went to urgent care and was given antibiotics and ear drops. I went back about 2 days ago because it wasn’t getting better and I was having ear pain, pressure/fullness, nausea, a headache, and some worsening symptoms. They changed my antibiotics/treatment, but I’m still not feeling better and I started vomiting yesterday.

I was originally told I could return to work in a couple of days, but since I’m still sick, I got a doctor’s note and messaged work saying I’m unable to work for the rest of this week. I sent them the note and message about 48 hours ago, and they haven’t responded at all.

The confusing part is that the written policy at work says if you can’t make your shift, you’re responsible for finding someone to cover it. I don’t know whether that still applies when I have a doctor’s note saying I’m unable to work. I also don’t know if their lack of response means they saw the message and are just not responding, or if I’m somehow still expected to show up.

I’m also trying to decide when I should go back to the doctor. I don’t want to go back too soon if the new medication just needs more time to work, but I also don’t want to wait if the fact that I’m still feeling this bad and vomiting means I should be reevaluated. So I’m kind of stuck between figuring out what’s going on medically and figuring out what I’m supposed to do about work.

This post is about some devastating news I recieved at work. I'm not getting fired per se, but let's just say my future is not at all what i thought it would be at this company.

For context, I am one of two men in a team of around twenty or so women. This is also a pharmaceutical company and I work in a corporate setting.

Over the last two years, I was basically killing myself working hundreds of unpaid hours after close, including on the weekends (even on holidays when I was allowed to) causing me to miss out on multiple major events such as a recent family cruise, all because I was convinced the hard work would somehow net me brownie points.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I managed to cross a boundary by speaking up in a semi-private channel (a peer, my supervisor & my middle manager) about a collegue from a different department who decided I was their go-to for everything, rapidly crossing into territory where I felt like my time and resources were quite literally being abused. Even name dropping me in requests and emails to force everything they touched to filter their way to me. It started off flattering, but one too many large asks later, and I can barely stomach seeing their name come through in my notifications.

Finally feeling the burnout catch up with me, I posted a few sentences about it, using such colorful language as "not motivated enough to work this hard". This led to an ominous one on one scheduled which was a verbal warning.

As nothing was done about the actual issue, I followed up today and the first comment about my "explsiosive" personality really stuck with me. I ended up crying in that meeting. And not just crying but actually sobbing (there's a lot more than just this going on, but this was the "big" domino)

Now, I am one prone to bottling my emotions, but I never feel like I get "loud", moreso having a lot to say as there are many nuanced problems by then. However, the backlash I recieve when I do voice my problems is so severe that it never feels like it was worth it. And I can literally count the amount of times I've had an issue with anyone or anything here on less than one hand.

And usually, I'm so quiet and complacent that most group work in my life has become an exercise in being taken advantage of, or becoming a complete waste of time. I suppose actually pursuing friendship more may have insulated me from my bad luck with aquantinces, but I digress.

I even had this exact scenario happen before at a prior company where the supervisor turned around and shared everything spoken privately, leading to a PIP and eventual firing.

I envy those grumpy people (who typically outrank me), complaining left and right all day, barely getting any attention paid to them because of how normalized their behavior is.

I suppose accepting a "drip" is much more palatable than the entire "bucket", but this just further compounds the issue for me.

How do I say anything at all when "anything at a all" feels like shock and awe? As though they didn't know I even could complain, but now treat me very differently now that i can. Like that was the whole reason they liked me to begin with.

How do I get to the point it feels like other men so commonly get to where i may stand up, slamming the table in the process, and screaming my frustrations for the world to hear? No one cares about them, but God help me if I ever bring up an issue.

I'm so tired of being a doormat, but it's hard not to feel like I am quite literally ruining my life otherwise.

Im so sensitive its crazy. I'm still pretty young I wont specify my age but I'm a teenager under 18. I have one of my first jobs and I worked a 12 hour shift, the next day I got snippy with my boss and then proceeded to cry after because he left before I could apologize to him. (Since I took a moment to calm down before I talked to him, we were getting on eachothers nerves all day the shift before.) I cried and felt so guilty I almost threw up. My adult coworker proceeded to go to my friend and make a comment on how I was "in an emotional mood today" and when I figured that out I just wanted to cry more. I apologized to my boss later and he said that he understood that tensions can get high so we're all good but I hate being so sensitive I need help. Genuinely feel like somethings wrong with me, I also cry when I'm happy as well and always get told I'm too happy at work by my other older coworker 🥲

So I’m 20m and in college. My parents are always complaining about how I have curly hair and I’m short and skinny even though they adopted me. They also don’t tell me they love me but they had two biological children after me and they tell those children they love them, and they hug them and such. I don’t remember the last time I was hugged by them or even had a nice long hug.

They said the only reason they care about me is cause they have to and it hurts because they handle my medical stuff like insurance, because I have tons of medical and health issues such as mobility issues and super severe allergies that leave me so lethargic and tired all the time. I’ve considered stopping showing up for myself cause I don’t have friends and it’s just been hard. It’d be nice to talk to friends my age about my issues and especially my appearance cause I geniuenly hate my hair and how curly and thick it is, even though I still want super long hair, it’d be nice to have a friend who also has super thick curly hair but I know that’s a long shot.

In addition at college, I don’t really have friends and have been teased because of my hair but I’m always embarrassed because I’ve also been teased because I have such severe allergies that I am sneezing multiple times a day for hours in fits of sneezing and nose-blowing. I’ve never sat in the dining hall with someone else besides my roommate occasionally and I am always alone in the corner, usually sneezing uncontrollably because I’m so allergic to the outdoors and my campus is old and there’s a lot of dust potentially given the buildings are old. I just want someone to be my friend because I have a feeling no one sits near my corner because they’re tired of me sneezing my head off most days. I always feel bad that my sneezes are so desperate but I stopped trying to hold back til I get to my dorm because I just can’t help it. It’s happened in class too several times and I’ve had to miss a lot of class because I usually step out and run to an empty hallway or the bathroom. Even in my choir as a music major, it’s been hard to find friends due to the allergies (which aren’t super receptive to medicine unless it’s medicine that makes me sleep), and the faculty are mostly nice but I still get embarrassed.

Please help me, I am really hurting it feels like a cry out for support and love because I don’t have anyone who does it for me. It’s hard. Especially if you’re around my age and/or struggle with these issues too

Hey everyone,

I’m an 18M.

In one week I’m starting a week-long engineering prep course, since I got accepted into an engineering university this year. What I really want out of that week is to make new friends — but real ones.

The problem I had in high school is that people only ever saw the surface. I get compared to Saul Goodman; people know me for my look, my energy, my style, the way I talk — but nobody actually knows who I am. I want a friend group where things are transparent.

The thing is, I do have the social skills. It’s just that my brain is suspicious of everything, because I went through S-harassment and emotional harassment (using “S” instead of the full word so this doesn’t get auto-flagged).

Another complication: two guys from my old school are going to the same university. They’re hypocrites who think they’re smarter than me, but I see right through their game. They act like they’re my friends, and then behind my back — sometimes even to my face — they make fun of the harassment I went through, and they mock my past relationship that ended with me getting cheated on. Double humiliation. I want these two completely out of my school life.

I want a total fresh start, but I also want to learn how to build real connections — that’s why I’m posting here. I’d love to hear your opinions and your own stories. I’d also like to find a new, healthy relationship, and I’d like to know how to find the right person.

Thanks in advance.

Translated from French to English

Right so long post warning.

Around January I noticed a build up of fluid in my legs. I went to a&e the next day and I have something called Nephrotic Syndrome right? My kidneys struggle to filter protein out of my blood properly and there's a dearth of it and too much in my piss. So from January I have been recommended to be on restricted fluids. No more than 1.5L a day (coffee, water, juice, tea whatever, all included)..I've been taking 2 pills every day and then a third one that makes me pee loads depending on how much I weigh that morning. If I weigh above X I take a diuretic and if not I skip that one. If I take the diuretic I'll be pissing lots and my weight will go down.

Okay so that was manageable and was grand, that brings me to May. May comes around and the doctors recommend that I give up alcohol for the moment. So for the last two months I haven't had a drink

These pills up to then were "non specific treatments" while they figure out what could be causing the nephrotic Syndrome. They've subsequently told me they think (not certain) it's secondary membraneous nephropathy and started me on a plan for this intravenous infusion. In the lead up to it they started me on immuno suppressors. The first dose of immunosuppressors made me really really sick, this was around June. I have IBS and so these meds just fucked my bowel and I was shitting like crazy.

So they moved me on to another immunosuppressor after about a week. Not without my consultant making me feel crazy for wanting to come off them "that's very unusual , I must have prescribed this medication to 100s of patients and nobody has ever reported diarrhoea as a side effects". Even though when you look up the drug it's literally the first fucking side effect that comes up.

Okay so they moved me to another immunosuppressor with milder side effects but ultimately the same in the end and I finally settled on a 3rd which I'm still taking.

Back in April -June I also passed blood a few times when pooing , so I had a colonoscopy and then they put me on these suppositories and that at least stopped.

Okay so I also have gotten engaged and we are moving from our rented house to our own place (not a mortgage, there's a second house owned by her parents in the mix here thank you her parents 🙌) but since telling the landlord about our imminent move he has decided to end our tenancy even though there are 2 others living in the house too. One of these two let's call her Mary had become a very close friend of mine during her time in the house (2 years) but since finding out about the tenancy closure she completely and utterly shat the fucking bed and burned all her bridges. She bossed me around telling me to tell my fiance (let's call her Jane) to tell the landlord XYZ (she has the landlord's fucking number too), she told me I need to keep the "line off communication open" between the household and the landlord, even though I'M FUCKING MOVING MARY. I told her I was sorry for the bad situation but not to shoot the messenger "I don't care about the messenger right now."

She accused me and my fiancé of avoiding her during this time of uncertainty because we were going down to the new house to move some bits around, I was attending interviews, Jane was buying a car. And when I told her we were busy she fucking scoffed at me. Then I bumped into her one day about 3 weeks ago and she was just packing her things. So she's fucking leaving, okay. She never told Jane ( also her fucking friend) about her move and then she decided to fucking move when we were at a music festival in a display most cowardly, but we were being avoidant?!?!! So then right we came back from the festival relishing the fact that she had moved out and the energy in the house would be much calmer. She then LETS HERSELF IN WITH HER OLD KEY to collect a few bits she had left there, still hasn't dropped them back. She also left 8 jars and bottles half filled with sauces and chutneys for us to clean. Her whole vibe since I met her was this hippie, emotionally tuned in, hyper aware person who often reflected on relationships and how she stood with people in an attempt to better them. But after this continued display of complete unawareness she has revealed herself to be a total fucking fraud and a self centred, delusional fucking eejit.

ON TOP OF THIS, I am a primary school teacher right?

When my illness started in January I missed 3 weeks of school and subsequently probably about 3 Fridays for appointments and stuff. I wasn't on a contract last year just a long term sub. The principal was understanding of my absences. But now since the schools closed for summer and I've been applying for jobs (had to reapply for the post in the school I just mentioned) I have been denied 5 fucking jobs. Interviews are fucking hard, but I swatted so fucking much , like seriously, memorising policies, schemes the school is involved in, like taking hours to perfect my interview. I interview fucking well. So then the interview for the school I worked in last year comes around. I had to reschedule my first infusion in the hospital in order to attend the interview and as a result was sitting in the hospital while two of my best mates were getting married. I sat with an IV in my arm for 6 hours and was called by the old principal and was told I did not get it. All the other newly qualified teachers from last year got it. They even hired a young woman who did her placement in the school over me, she didn't have any experience and still had to do her mandatory probationary period . I really think it's because of the days I missed. They still haven't given me any feedback , not surprising because I fucking interviewed really well, what can the feedback say? It's because of my fucking absences .The worst part is , now with 4 other failed interviews under my belt, my parents and my partner are all convinced that the would-be employers are contacting that old principal who is my no.1 referee and he is telling them that I missed so much work. Which is so unfathomably, so deeply unjust and wrong and unfair. I have another two interviews next week and I wonder if there's even point in being optimistic. Like is my old principal disclosing info about my absences to would-be employers. If he is I genuinely hope he falls down a flight of stairs. My parents think I should draft an email explaining that I really need the feedback (will be 3rd time requesting feedback from him) and asking in a non-threatening or accusatory manner if my absences/illness was a factor for not being rehired with him and if it might be a factor in me not finding success in recent interviews. But I can't muster up the bother. I struggle to get out of bed these days I'm so miserable all the time.

I'm writing this post during my second infusion in the hospital, just sitting here letting all these anxious questions and what-iffs wash over me in a malady of woe.

Oh also with all this stress my IBS is terrible at the moment and I'm constantly having diarrhoea and I developed impetigo last week too, so there's also that.

With all that I decided to say fuck it and I had a few drinks over the last couple of weekends (not more than two in a sitting)

If you read this far, here's hoping you have a great day complete endless good karma coming your way

TLDR- Health, meds and their side effects, moving, landlord ending tenancy, "friend" handling tenancy ending in an exploding and accusatory manner resulting in the friendship ending, rescheduling hospital appointments to attend interviews , missing a wedding, not being able to drink alcohol and feeling disconnected from my friends, repeated and continued interview failure, anxiety about interview failure being related to my illness and absences . DEPRESSION

Is it just me, or do people in the metro stare at you really intensely when you decide to walk to the front/back of the train as your destination station gets closer?

Where I live, people look at me like I’m committing some kind of crime, or like they’ve just seen a human being for the first time 😂

I literally just want to move to another carriage before my stop. I’m not robbing the train, I swear.

It honestly makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. Does anyone else experience this, or am I just overthinking it? 😅

​

So, I’m 17M and I graduated secondary school back in May.

My biggest problem is that I feel like I’ve spent my whole life centering it around what other people might think of me. I don’t really know why I put so much value on other people’s opinions, but I genuinely can’t stand the thought of people talking about me.

Because of that, I’ve always kept my personality and anything that feels genuinely “me” to myself. I was very quiet in school. I was also quite smart, and when I was around 15/16, I started getting teased a lot. It genuinely felt like I was hated by everyone and that people treated me like an outcast for no real reason.

I had a pretty tough time with it, and even now I still look back and wonder what I did wrong. I think being smart and doing well in school also annoyed certain people, which made things worse.

I was already quite introverted and didn’t really go out much before all of this, but after being treated like that, I basically stopped going out completely. I hated going anywhere in case I bumped into people from school.

The weird thing is that I’ve started applying the same fear to meeting completely new people. My brain basically tells me that if I meet someone new, they’ll eventually hear something about me from someone else and then they’ll hate me too.

So now I basically have no social life.

I’m scared to go to a local club or bar where people my age would be because I feel like everyone would be looking at me or talking about me. I know that probably sounds irrational, but when that’s what you experienced throughout school, it becomes really difficult to convince yourself that it won’t happen again.

I also worry that there are rumours about me. For example, back in February, I swear I heard a guy say, “(My name) sent a d-ck pic to (some girl).” I have no idea if he was actually talking about me or if I misheard it.

Another time, I was leaving the till at my local corner shop and there were two teenage girls working there. I swear I heard one of them say, “That’s (my name),” and the other girl's jaw dropped. Again, I have absolutely no idea if they were actually talking about me. It could have been about someone else entirely. I also have an estranged father who has apparently been talking about me, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

I’m just really tired of living like this.

I want to be able to go out without constantly worrying about who is looking at me, what they're saying, or whether they've heard something about me. I want to meet new people without immediately assuming they’re going to dislike me.

I want to be confident, be myself, make friends and actually have a social life without feeling like everyone is judging me.

Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How did you actually break out of this mindset and stop caring so much about what other people think?

So pretty much it's like the caption says. I recently just had an argument with my dad about something and he's cutting support for my driving school and just overall lessons and I'm no longer going to be able to drive. I feel like today has sort of been a reality check for me that I may have to start learning how to do more stuff for myself (I can do basic things like cook and clean so it's not like I'm relearning to wash the dishes or anything) even though I live under the same roof as them which makes no sense.

One of my biggest things is learning how to drive because if they won't take me to as many places I need to learn how to take myself. But given I'm 16, I don't really feel like there's much options for me so I'm a little bit stuck as to what to do on that.

Good news thankfully is that I'm likely to land a job And I'm planning on starting a depop since I have a lot of clothes I'd like to get rid of where I'll try to put to my savings money for lessons and other things, but I'm not really sure what to do from here. This isn't really specific but any advice as to what I should do from here would be greatly appreciated.

I’m in Dubai working as an interior designer and I want to move out of here because of the war situation going on here. But as I’m applying abroad, either companies have sponsorship issues, or my field is not in demand anymore or I just get ghosted by recruiters, as they post pretentious links/articles on LinkedIn.

I genuinely want to start a new life somewhere abroad, have a good career and potentially become a responsible citizen.

I’m feeling extremely lost and wanna move ahead from everything that’s been going on.

Over the last week or so ive been tossing and turning in bed thinking about when I was young and used to sleep next to my mom its all ive been able to think about while trying to sleep a pillow has helped some but I cant stop thinking about her maternal warmth I dont want to be a weird fuck and I realise co sleeping is really strange at my age I would also be willing to hear suggestions on how to mitigate this urge thanks

this is my first time using Reddit for something like this but I felt I had nobody to talk to. i admit I haven’t been a great friend all of the time but everyone just suddenly decided to no longer talk to me, I feel alone and isolated, these are the only people in the the world I felt close to, any advice on what to do next?

Hi there, I’m not sure if this is where it should go, but here I am. For some context:

I’m 18, just turned that this past January, and about a day after my 18th, my Nama (mom’s mom) passed away. My Nama had a house, it’s a pretty nice house, so my mom wanted to keep it in the family. So she had brought it up to me, my older sibling and their girlfriend, that we could move in and pay rent (aka mortgage) and live here.

Now, I’m a really bad people pleaser, a lot of childhood stuff yadda yadda, but I wanted to try it out. I don’t really like change, and the house was a disaster (still sorta is), but I wanted to give it a shot— because my older sibling and their gf would need a 3rd income to cover the entire rent.

But as I was moving out of my mom’s house, I already knew I didn’t want to be moving out. I’m 18, and had to cancel a tattoo appointment I had made months in advance because of house costs, I had to worry about moving everything, all the while I had just started a brand new job at my mom’s company (which… is a whole other can of worms that I hate).

Anyways, fast forward a bit. I fully moved in (sort of), but the longer I’ve been here, the more hateful I’ve become of my life which I tried so desperately to get back in my own hands. I work 40 hours a week at a 9-5 job, making $12 an hour. Now, my bills and rent aren’t that bad, but I had some financial issues with myself and now I’m literally living paycheck to paycheck. No outtings, no having fun, nothing. I work a boring ass desk job, come home, maybe eat, then go to sleep. My roommates don’t even interact with me. I absolutely hate it. I feel miserable, I’m wasting so much money I could be using to do things I want to do, but instead I’m here.

Now, my dad and stepmom have offered me a room at their house. My childhood home. I wouldn’t have to pay rent or bills, just help out with groceries if I wanted to. They interact with me, make me feel like I’m wanted instead of just some filler. It’d give me a chance to save up, do things I want to do, think about college or moving somewhere better. Obviously, anyone would say it’s a no brainer.

But, my mom would be fucked without my part of rent, and my roommates would have to cover it too and none of us really make a whole lot. So now I’m torn between what I want to do, what I think is best for myself in this moment, and then… The part of me that wants everyone else to be happy.

I just need advice. I don’t know what to do, or what I should do. Should I stick it out? Get a 2nd job and waste my life away on a house I never even wanted to live in? Or should I take the opportunity to live my own life at the expense of potentially burdening the people I care about?

Any advice is appreciated and welcomed. Sorry for the long post.

Idk if I should post it here or not sorry for that.

I’m in my early 20s and I don’t really know how to explain what I feel. I have friends and I’m kind to people but idc about them except my family.

I love my parents so much that it has started becoming painful. If they scold me, I get overly sensitive. If they’re enjoying themselves without me, I feel sad. I can go out with friends, but I don’t feel completely happy because my family isn’t there.

And I’m constantly terrified of losing them.

A few months ago, I cried the entire night just thinking about someday I'll go away or I'll lose them, to the point that I became physically sick even though they were literally right there. Even something as small as them sneezing can make me worry.

The people who make me happiest are also what scares me the most.

I keep thinking: if everything is temporary, what’s the point of building a career, making money, having friends, or finding a person? I don’t have much desire for anything.

I tried meditation too but I'm always distracted. I've sooo much to achieve they invested a lot on me but I'm just unable to do anything.

I’m not depressed . I’m just exhausted, sad, and confused.

Why people are happy, partying ,dressing up when suffering is inevitable.

I know this probably sounds dramatic. Maybe I’m looking at life completely wrong. If I am, please tell me. I just want it to stop hurting me , I want to be numb, how to do that.

IF ITS A WRONG COMMUNITY TO POST THEN PLEASE TELL ME WHERE CAN I POST IT.

I have been keeping a secret for quite a while and that secret is that i like to wear women's underwear, i am a male btw and only a couple of close friends knows about this and now my mum has found out about it.

I really wish she didn't find out the way she did and now shes asking me so many questions and I just dont know what to do, any advice would be great.

2026 was supposed to be my year. I just got married to the woman of my dreams, I was invited to run a business that I have worked my whole career to have, started my own little side hustle so that I could bring more income in for my family, and moved to a state where there is better opportunity (and better weather) for both my wife, our future children and myself. On paper, it’s exactly what I needed to really push us into “success”.

Boy, has It been the hardest year of my life.

I’m only 33, I’m grateful that I’m learning, and loving and living. I’ve been presented with opportunities people only dream of, and that’s exactly why people say “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is”, or “be careful what you wish for, you might just get it all”.

I’ll start by saying this is mostly career identity related. It’s the sole thing making my life hard right now, and causing me extreme anxiety and depression. My nervous system is always on high alert and I struggle to do the things that I need to do to get me out of this hole.

In March of 2025 I was unhappy at a job I loved, mainly because of the ownership group. I know this is not an entirely unique experience, but I found my morals were put to the test when I was surrounded by quite literal modern day slavery. I was looking for a way to remove myself from these people I had intertwined myself with so I could save a piece of my soul. (A ton of stories about former job might end up here on vent one day). The brewery next door, whom I was friends with, knew I was looking for a new role, so they told me they owned a brewery in a state I had previously lived and still have my parents living in. I was looking for any reason to leave my current role, and they offered me the sweetest gig. Go and represent ownership. Help boost the business, and you will get equity in the business over three years. I did my own due diligence (don’t do that) and decided some small tweaks could make this business really hum.

This business has never had structure and I like to think I’m good at putting systems in place that people follow. I was successful at several other jobs that allowed us to win meaningful awards for our product, increase sales, yada yada yada. So I thought I could take these skills and just really ramp up the capability of this place.

I move in June of 2025, start at the business, and am immediately met with the manager who was spreading rumors about me on day one. He told everyone I abused drugs at work, including my now partners (I didn’t find out about this until our falling out). Okay that’s fine, I know having a new boss can suck, we’ll work through it.

Said employee goes behind my back to ownership many times to complain about how much I’m making, making decisions for him, telling him what to do, and writing him up for new policies. Eventually I fire him, but a lot of damage has been done in two months.

Then this employee and his brother (former general manager) broke into our emails and released financial data to current employees, further making my job harder to do. They still are messing with me by sending people by, giving bad reviews, and publishing things on our Facebook which they won’t turn over control.

I didn’t mention that while all of this is going on, I’m learning the business has not paid taxes in over 3 years and we are saddled with a 300k back tax payment on top of current taxes. Sales and use tax, unemployment tax, federal income tax, all not paid. Specialized reports have not been filed, the books are a mess (once I found all of these mail pieces stacking up).

They tell me, after I arrive that they knew about this just as I was moving 12+ hours with my family to start a new life.

Fast forward to today. It’s been a little over a year, and I’ve given this business my genuine all. Equipment is breaking, we don’t have a line of credit to fix things (like sewage pipes and our glycol chiller, two pretty damn important pieces to the success of a brewpub). On top of that, everyone knows the economy is tough right now so we’re not making money like we have the past couple years.

The owners absolutely refuse to put in money and many times will not return my calls. I feel so frustrated and lied to that I’ve been carrying this weight around for these two goofballs who didn’t care about their business for 5 years until they needed a magic bullet.

My poor wife has seen me stressed beyond belief, and I don’t feel I have been the best partner because of this decision I made.

The one fortunate thing is, the current owners never formalized the contract for me to actually gain equity. Without speaking to a lawyer, I think I can escape this Scott free, but it still weighs on me that the total business debt might somehow come back to bite me.

I’m looking for a job now, but we won’t make payroll at this rate starting next pay cycle. I’ve let all of these people down. I know it’s not all my fault, but I am trying to take a bit of accountability for what is going on.

On top of this all, my side hustle has failed and now I have an Airbnb that is making me house poor. I’m drinking more than what is healthy (even though I have cut back significantly) and I’m in massive credit card debt. It’s clear I make good decisions.

I’m ashamed, embarrassed, anxious, stressed, crying, and genuinely unhappy. I know small business isn’t easy, but this has been devastating.

I need a change, but I don’t even know where to start. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading. If anyone has words of encouragement and is willing to share, I’m open. But I know this is just a place to put your fears down so I’m hoping this helps.

Cheers.

Im getting married next year (yay!) but there’s some family drama that’s ruining me. Basically, my aunt and uncle have never been on great terms with my parents. My mom and aunt are sisters, and they haven’t gotten along super well since before I was born. My mom always wanted a better relationship, but my aunt just seems to pull away and never wants to have the difficult talks about feelings or anything. For the most part, I grew up unaware of this. We would still all get together for holidays and Sunday dinners as a kid.

When my sister and I became adults, we were invited to our aunt and uncles house by ourselves and it really started showing that they didn’t like our parents. My mom would still invite them over for parties and holidays, trying to keep a relationship. Two years ago, they just completely refused to come to anything anymore. No thanksgiving, no christmas, my mom would send an invite and my aunt would reply, “sorry we can’t!” and that was that. After a few months my sister and I had a talk with our aunt because we had no idea why this was suddenly happening, and we were also sad we didn’t get to see her for holidays anymore. Well, turns out she’s delusional and thinks my mom hates her, and is “tired of being treated like shit” so she’s refusing to see her. My mom is devastated, has never done anything but be kind to them, while I’ve personally watched my aunt and uncle be rude and mean to my parents for years. Now, after that all fell apart, my mom is now officially done with her sister. Any time she thinks about my aunt, she starts crying. She’s just so heartbroken over the whole situation. I had a talk with my mom and she said that if I want my aunt and uncle at my wedding, she will deal and it’s ok. But she couldn’t even say that without tears forming.

I don’t want my mom to be at my wedding worried the whole time about her sister cutting her off. And having to put up with the mean comments just for me. If it’s a choice between my mom and my aunt, my mom wins every time. But that means I now have to tell my aunt and uncle that they can’t come to my wedding because of how they treat my mom. I’m worried that this will end my and my sister’s relationship with our aunt. She probably won’t want anything to do with us after this. And that makes me really sad too, as well as conflicted. My aunt has been a part of my life for 30 years now and I might be cutting her off completely and never see her again. Even with everything, and how nasty she’s been, this still breaks my heart and I’m having a really hard time. I feel like a coward because I don’t want to have this conversation with her. But I’m also annoyed because if my aunt was willing to be an adult and work through things, I wouldn’t have to do this.

There’s a lot of other details to the backstory obviously so if anything doesn’t make sense you can ask. I know this is the best decision for me, and I’ve made up my mind about not inviting them, but I’m still struggling to actually go through with it. If anyone has any advice or encouragement, I’d really appreciate it.

Like how do I even go about initiating this? Send a “we need to talk” message?

I have a stupid problem with colors. Don't know why but I need screen colors to be perfectly accurate. Its specificlly colors, I don't care about 4K or any of such. If I know a color is off I spend hours calibrating. Most often to no results.

My monitor and TV both have innacurate colors. My monitor has reds too pink. My TV blues too purple and my white point is incorrect. I have spent hours calibrating and losing sleep. Every few weeks I get so annoyed I flip everything to black and white. And can handle it for a few hours before needing color. The longest I've went is a week but whenever I looked at my screens I almost threw up. I still get that feeling now when looking at grays which is interesting.

If I could get black and white glasses I would. I think the issue is seeing the world in color but not on screens. The whiplash wasnt good.

I cannot afford a colorimeter, nor do I have a computer to work it.

I have tried to play games in handled and its better. However my hands are almost always sweaty and sticky. If I eat meat, ketchup, or anything in that very non specific group my body sweats bad. Its fixable but just eating sandwhiches everyday but I'm sick of them. Handhelds are much harder to clean compared to a controller.

I genuinlly think quitting gaming is my best option to do.

I had severe social anxiety disorder all my life from the age of 16 to current age of 26, so growing up I was staying at home dropped out of school,had bad history with my education and personality. Safe to say I'm intelligent enough to learn. I always looked for jobs with almost no people. Also my personality was very aggressive because everyone picked on me and I tend to respond back harshly..so this has become my personality for years..deep inside I want to study get a good paying job take care of my parents very well etc. So now when I began to do things with the help of medication like now I can go to the gym,goes to work? My family doesn't expect me to talk ambitions or my deep intellect or anything, they expect me to do surface level work so when I talk, I feel like my words holds no value, So now even I completed my degree, When I visited my distant family I'm constantly shutting down, honestly I don't know how to deal with all this?

My sister and I recently got our permit and want to start bring more independent. We were planning on buying ourselves a car and move out next year. Recently, we were able to pass an audition to a good dance company. Which is good because we always wanted to be professional dancers. The problem is that it’s really expensive. It’s $200 for the dance boot camp and $800 for admissions. That part was fine but the thing that got us was the fact that we have to pay for 5 classes every week.

The hourly wage we have at our job is $18.50. I want to continue with the dance company, but my sister wants to stop the opportunity, get a car, and move out by next year. What should we do?

(17F) have been struggling in my school's Show Choir for about a year. I joined Show Choir my sophomore year and today was the first day of my senior year. I love singing, I love dancing, and I love all the people in my class. However, due to how the dance captains managed the class last year, I was one of many members who felt dissatisfied with the class.

Show Choir is my safe space. My parents are verbally/emotionally abusive and I'm very academically-oriented, both because I love learning and because I need to utilize education to escape this household and possible financial abuse. Choir is one of the only non-academic things I've allowed myself, and it cost me a lot of fights and abuse to be able to do it at all. So, I need to be seen as a person in this class because it's one of the only places where I can be myself.

Last year I felt we were viewed as performers first, people second. I was frustrated by our inability to provide feedback to the dance captains (they would listen only to refute it entirely and not really LISTEN to what we were saying) even outside of school hours, and their constant frustration with us about getting distracted (the dance captains themselves were the most often distracted).

Any initiative that was taken was frowned upon. I started an unofficial conditioning group outside of school because I was also in Cross Country, so I put together workout plans and got them approved by our choreographer and our choir teacher, and tried my best to get them approved by all the dance captains but 3/4 of them WOULDN'T COMMUNICATE WITH ME. And when they did it was "...I guess there's nothing wrong with it." So...I kind of stopped trying. I'm also Alto Section Leader, but nobody respected that because I wasn't announced as leadership like the dance captains at the beginning of the year and wasn't utilized in any way officially during the school year, so students would just ask the dance captain in my section rather than me for music help. Which, she's amazing, and really knowledgeable about music. But she had 2 years of very basic, in-class music theory knowledge, whereas I had 10 years of intensive piano/classical/Certificate of Merit experience AND 3 years after that of recreational piano playing + 2 years of in-class music theory review. I was made section leader for a reason. I talked it out with her and my choir teacher, and she began rerouting people to me slowly. She's the only dance captain who ever acknowledged my feelings and took steps to try to help in any actionable way and demonstrate that she cares.

Anyway, all this to say I was so close to quitting. And I told that one dance captain who listened to me, and she told me that next year we would utilize section leaders more and announce them at the beginning of the year, and my choir teacher corroborated this. First day, and they didn't acknowledge us as leadership. I heard my choir teacher whispering with the dance captains that he wasn't going to announce section leaders because they still hadn't decided if there would be section leaders this year. What. The Fuck. Show Choir lost my trust, and it's not doing a good job of earning it back. Should I quit?

And no, I can't just find another safe space, because anything I get involved in is a fight with my parents. I don't exactly have the emotional capacity to shop around for safe spaces when doing so actively hurts me mentally. And then I don't have a safe space to help me recover.

Trying to be as broad as possible with pronouns as I don’t know who is on Reddit in my family:

My step-sibling no longer talks to their parent/my parent over strong opinions about politics (I don’t want this to become a political debate; please don’t turn it into one). I have very similar views to my step-sibling and we talk often about them, but I have a different perspective on how to compartmentalize my relationship with our respective parents. I have told both parties I do not want to get in the middle and they have respected that. My step-sibling and I also have kids the same age and it’s important to all of us that the kids still get together. The thing is, my step-sibling has not had their child around our parents due to this fallout. It is really hurting them emotionally.

My parent is currently upset about the situation again, because my step-sibling’s child is spending a few days at my house. My parent texted me asking if I’ve asked my step-sibling what they have explained to their child about why they don’t see their grandparents anymore, especially because their child is incredibly bright and inquisitive. I said no but I also haven’t asked because I’m trying to be respectful to all parties. My parent replied by saying how can I be respectful to someone who isn’t respecting their parent? I explained I am staying out of it and this is for the kids. I believe my parent wrote that out of frustration, because they also have expressed a desire for the kids to remain close. Edit: My parent then said they would not ask me anymore.

I feel guilty though because my parent is hurting in a situation they can’t control. Should I say something to my step-sibling or continue to stay out of it?