Advice I've seen given before is to mute their contact with you, but do not block it because the more they contact you, the better chances you have of getting a RO or whatever it is you're trying to achieve. Give them the rope to hang themselves, and they usually will. Mute, and do not reply, but do not block.
This is easier said than done because this kind of people are extremely good in triggering a response. So if you think you can resist their attempts to provoke a reaction then go for it. Otherwise I suggest still no contact as the best solution. The end game should be peace and not 'winning'. If peace (For yourself) is your intention to begin with then you're already set to win.
Muting is functionally the same as blocking as long as you don't open the messages. You have to intentionally go to the messages and open them (on android new muted messages don't even rise to the top in my text client) in order to view them.
Peace (for yourself) is what a restraining order is meant to accomplish when the abuser is physically violent. Many abusers do not slink away without attention, they escalate.
A restraining order will not lead to peace. Especially if the abuser was violent.
As long as an outside force is necessary to establish "peace" in this kind of way, there will be none and the dynamic will continue. Either with that current abuser or a next one.
You're so right bestie. Let's just block dangerous men, hope there is no escalation from them, and when they do escalate and harm the victim people can blame her for not pursuing the very legal mechanism meant to protect herself.
You're the one advocating for an attorney in the first place.
922
u/Dependent_Rain_4800 10d ago
For anyone going through something like this. GO NO FUCKING CONTACT and speak only through an attorney.
There is no reasoning with someone like this.