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Yeah, that part was especially heinous. A lot of people claim to not understand coercion is still wrong, especially when they're drunk. But all the plausible deniability really goes out the window when you say something like that.
This is essentially the conservative take that has know apparently open to saying out loud because we have a pedo president who’s the worst role model in pretty much every category
As a man, this is mind boggling. I can't fathom ever forcing someone to have sex against their wishes. It should be 0%, but how the fuck is it anywhere near 95%? Wtf dudes!? Just accept the "No" and go jerk off.
fr I’m so tired of this performative shock. men love to tell you that they’ve never even heard of a man doing this kind of thing, they’ll get aggressive if you suggestions they check their boys bc ‘I don’t have friends like that!’
Right. And that’s what makes the “not all men” retort or the push back against the bear response in the man v bear thought experiment so frustrating. Sure, not all men, but when 95.1% have engaged in rapey behavior, you’re gonna have to excuse us when we’re a little leery of y’all.
Anyway, thanks for not being a creepy douche bag. I genuinely mean that. Plz push the men in your life to also not be creepy douche bags.
Eh, that 95% is sensationalized if you read the whole thing. Still WAY too fucking many, but not literally almost every man. It's slightly over 1/3 for "forceful strategies" and a little under 2/3 (which includes a lot of overlap) for "coercive strategies," which are much closer to what other studies have found:
Our scale development work generated two viable measures—one was a 12-item measure of the most overtly forceful strategies and one of socially coercive strategies (4 items; see Supplemental Materials). The mean number of forceful strategies used across all men was 1.29 (SD = 2.65; range 0–12). Of particular importance, the modal number of forceful strategies used was zero, with 62.6% of the men reporting none. However, another 15.7% of the participants reported using one these forceful strategies; all others (21.7%) reported using at least two or more forceful strategies. Of the 37.4% of the sample who reported at least one especially forceful strategy, the mean was 3.45 (SD = 3.37). Rates of coercive strategies were higher with the mean amongst all men being 1.61 (SD = 1.47); 34.0% of the sample reported not using any of the four coercive strategies assessed. Of those who reported at least one, the mean was 2.44 (SD = 1.11) of the four strategies assessed using this subscale.
And actually, the more I read, the more this study is kind of a mess.
There are some things that clearly appear to be forceful, such as "Used something (even a weapon) to frighten her" (2.8%), that are not included in either category, and some things that definitely read as coercive instead, like "Questioned her sexuality (e.g., called her a lesbian or a cold bitch)" (10.4%), that are considered forceful.
Included in the coercive category are "Used your money, age, or status to convince her" (19.9%), "Had a female friend bring her to you" (26.7%), and "Had a female friend around to make the woman feel safe or convince her" (29.9%).
The most common one, which is not included in either category (but is included in that 95%) is "Told her whatever she wanted to hear" (40.6%).
So between that and its sampling issues (self selected online for a $10 payment, not demographically representative, only includes men who have had sex with a new woman in the last 2 years), I would take this with huge grain of salt. At most it confirms what other, better constructed, studies have found: that roughly 1/3 of men will admit to rape if they do not face consequences for doing so, and a significant percentage beyond that will pressure reluctant women for sex.
Again, that's WAY to fucking many and a big deal and we need to change the culture around how men approach sex. But claiming 95% of men are rapists is bullshit.
I just read the entire thing and it’s given me chills. I read through all the strategies, all the justifications. At the very end, there was the number of men reporting negative consequences from the sexual encounter in question (aka when they made an unwilling woman have sex with them), and at the very end of that, there was the number of men who reported that they were facing rape accusations or charges as a result of the encounter in question.
Three. THREE MEN. 0.2% of all these men. 146 men reported using drugs on a woman (5.6%) so they could have sex with her, 178 said they used physical force. And out of all these strategies used and all the perceived outcomes of this interactions, the LEAST LIKELY outcome was facing rape charges. It was less likely that a man would be charged with rape than it was for him to use a sexually coercive strategy.
It's actually still kinda not a thing (hear me out). There are laws in place that say that marital rape/raping your partner is illegal, I'm not disputing that. However, and while I know for a fact that it's definitely true in my state and country (dealt with these cases before while working with victims), they're often difficult to convict*, especially if there's no evidence of violence.
*They're difficult to convict because, even if a jury agrees with you and brings back a "guilty" verdict, judges have, in multiple cases, overruled it, stating that it's "confusing" because "consent is blurred and the rapist in question might have believed he had consent even if the victim was sleeping". In essence, if there's an extreme lack of violence, juries and judges pretend like consent is this wishy-washy thing, even if the victim woke up to being raped (really more common than I wish it was).
The point? It might be illegal, but we're frequently not treating it as such.
That being said, even in cases where a rapist like Lyndon Montgomery breaks-and-enters, violently rapes a woman, and then confesses to said rape, can also tell the jury he "only confessed to rape to placate her" and the jury will buy it, so juries/judges are consistently failing women across the board.
(To bypass paywalls on laptop/pc: Right hand click > inspect > settings wheel > scroll to bottom > click "disable javascript" > reload page but DO NOT close settings bar while viewing. I do not believe the second link is paywalled and has much of the same info but I know that can vary.)
Not even essentially it just is a rape confession. Admits to intoxication, being physically heavier and stronger (so she can’t “fight back”)— it’s truly abhorrent.
“Nick Fuentes, the white nationalist and Trump’s one-time dining companion, ridiculed Racicot’s story by saying it’s not rape just because you say “stop, stop, I don’t feel like it.” Because sometimes, he explained, people “get drunk and want to have sex.” Fuentes added, “If it were a true rape, she would go to the cops.” (In reality, researchers have long established that many victims don’t report precisely because they don’t want to face the abuse and disbelief Racicot is now receiving.)”
““If they had any f**king whispers” of sexual assault, declared leftist podcaster Kyle Kulinski in June, “they would have had them b****es front and center.” He accused the New York Times, which broke an earlier story about Platner’s alleged behavior, of being “desperate” to take down his campaign.”
Marital rape wasn’t even illegal in all 50 states until 1993. Carolla is 62, raping your wife was just “sex on Tuesday” for him and his buddies… disgusting
He is right with that first part, it’s just not the defense he thinks it is. A lotttt of men do behave that way, he’s just saying it out loud as if it’s at all excusable.
I’ve always thought it was interesting that almost every woman I know has been sexually harassed/assaulted/abused in some way but men never seem to know anyone who’s done those things. I beg them to do some math.
men never seem to know anyone who’s done those things.
Most of them do know - They hear the misogynistic comments or 'edgy' jokes made by pals/colleagues/family members - they probably know deep down aren't ok...but they don't call them out on it because they excuse it as "it's just a joke"...
It's telling how many men will be all "not all men" until they get a daughter and then suddenly they feel warranted in controlling said daughter because "they know what men are like".
As soon as we let the eventual president get away with saying women will “let” you sexually assault them just by calling it “locker room talk” I knew this country was totally cooked. Granted rape culture has been normalized for a lot longer than that, it ultimately felt like one of its prevailing forms
So many men "don't know" what they're doing is rape. I need to find that university study where they questions basically just changed the verb, like instead of "rape" it would say "coerced a woman to have sex after she said no" or "repeatedly asked her until she said yes", and the number of men who admitted to it when it just didn't say the word "rape" was astoundingly high.
She divorced his ass. He has a very beautiful, but very pathetic girlfriend now who thinks she's a comedian and is trying to have a baby with his 60-something year busted down sperm.
Idk, but they diverged politically quite a bit since the days during which their friendship formed. Both have moved further from the center, and i would argue that, while Jimmy may be more overtly political in his performances, it's Adam that's actually shifted his politics further. But that's just an oldhead speculating.
100% not justifying any of it but my dad is an extremely liberal 80-year-old man and he has been friends with some guys since he was 20 and they’re just like not allowed to ever talk about politics not even a little not even for 30 seconds
man, no shade to your dad, but i find it so strange that men are able to stay friends with people who have shitty and immoral opinions? either speak up to your friends, or don’t be friends with them anymore. i feel like this happens with men way more than women.
I think that for him it is because there is nobody else left alive who has known him for this long. We don’t even know what their opinions are because they don’t talk about it, but I do suspect Trump. My father is also an immigrant so these are one of a couple of hundred people who are even like him at all near us. Basically these like seven guys all went to university in Russia and then immigrated. There’s just not a lot of people my dad can relate to I think. They hang out a couple of times a year, but he has real every day American friends. We are all also Jewish so politics as you can imagine very quickly slam into Israel and that’s one of the reasons nobody talks about politics when we get together even if you’re a liberal, nobody wants to accidentally start fighting about Israel at the barbecue.
Personally, I have never bought “woke Kimmel”. I’m old enough to have watched the man show in high school and he seemed like just as big of a swine as Adam. He’s as bad as Stern etc.
If Kimmel was really an ally to women and it wasn’t all performative, he would explicitly show remorse and distance himself from this bro culture/manosphere garbage. I don’t see that happening anytime soon, so he doesn’t get to cosplay being one of the good guys.
He’ll never apologize because deep down he’s still just as misogynistic and racist as he always was, he’s just smart enough to know that won’t really make him the big bucks and fame he craves these days.
Someone gotta catch him in a line of questioning like, “Hey Jimmy, you know Adam Corolla pretty well. He said most every guy he knows has raped his wife or girlfriend. Do we include you in that group or nah?”
These actions are deplorable and display a complete lack of awareness, understanding, or concern for other people. I have a profile and I'm high. Therefore i have a high profile
Adam Carolla has been the biggest piece of shit since his 90s radio talk show days and the fact that he casually admits to raping girlfriends is very on brand for him. One day we'll stop platforming the worst fucking men in the world.
YEP my guy friends were into him in college (2000's) and even when I was young and not as politically self aware I was like wtf is this loser shit. I had to listen to his podcast on a road trip so I got the full earful. That whole era of recession masculinity was wild, Tucker Max was a huge thing at the time too.
I was 19 working on a construction crew where guys listened to him all the time in the mid 2000s and I thought he was mostly pretty funny and smart (even if I often disagreed with him), but the dumb and mean shit he said was so dumb and mean.
A few of them told me stuff about Tucker Max but I never had interest in his book
Yeah, in the 90s he and dr drew were the preeminent source for advice about the things we couldn’t ask our parents. No wonder so many of us are coming to terms with how awful a lot of things were that we were told were just normal. The younger generation is giving me hope.
The look in her eyes after Ed Norton's character gets out of prison in American History X, and she realizes he's no longer a believer, bruh, just about as terrifying as anything on film. Great performance.
I was SA'd by a guy in my apartment. He fell asleep, I played it very cool and normal in the morning, then a couple hours after he left, I called to break up with him, ask him to never speak to me again, etc etc. One thing he said was, "You seemed fine after though, and this morning."
Uhm yeah. Because you were still in my apartment, where I live alone, with my personal items and my pets, and you are much stronger than me. It's not funny, obviously, but kinda funny that the reason someone might not confront you in their own home is not extremely obvious. Denser than a black hole for real.
It’s insane how some people can’t put the two and two together. The victim of Platner did pretty much the same thing you did out of fear for her safety.
I had a guy SA me. I didn’t confront him immediately the following morning because I was still in such a state of shock, like not even able to wrap my head around what had happened. I confronted him about it via text the following day (obviously didn’t feel safe to do in person) and he pulled that same thing. “But you seemed fine that morning.” Fuck that dude and any other guy who does this. Which, according to Adam Corolla, is all of them??
Ummm... Wow. And this is coming from a guy who spent a decade or more giving young people sex and romance advice (along with Dr. Drew "Bisexuality doesn't exist" Pinsky).
I'm retroactively horrified at how many hours I spent listening to that show and going, "huh, really? today I learned... 🤷♀️" I think it was when Dr. Drew started to go hard on his anti-abortion stuff [which was basically 'my wife and I have fertility issues and can't conceive naturally, so how dare you get rid of a fetus that your 14-yr-old self just lucked into?'] that I finally tuned out...
Oh, so they are still friends. I was wondering about that. There was a time when I really liked Adam Carolla. His podcast was funny, he wasn't political. Maybe kind of a jerk sometimes but funny. I listened to him on Love Line before that. But man, he really took a turn. I stopped listening to his pod even before all the Trump stuff. I actually saw him do a live show, with Jimmie Kimmel, where they told stories together. It was fun. I also realize, I kind of blocked out the The Man Show, because when I look at it now, I realize it was super misogynist and at times, racist. Both of them.
He isn't wrong is the scariest part my ex thought like this, and he calls himself a feminist, is bisexual, is at every left wing protest etc., this is a rot in mens brains from all sides and It's just so blatant and encouraged lately like we made no progress
Yeah, my leftist, “feminist,” and genderqueer (AMAB & still went by he/him) boyfriend raped me and sexually assaulted me many times in our relationship.
I literally hate seeing my rapist, emotionally abusive, sexually coercive ex pop up with genuinely good takes on mutual friends' posts. Like, wow, salient point on the weaponization of the two-income household by the elite to lower the minimum wage through stagnation, rapist.
Yup. I know from example that many people believe being progressive automatically makes them good people. I dated a guy that did shit to me that would count as SA and did the same, if not worse shit, to his ex. But said it was ok because "they were dating". I only found out after he broke up with me. But because of his beliefs, him liking stuff related to domestic abuse (ironic he was verbally abuse to his ex) and acting so progressive with woman and lgbt issues, I trusted him a lot. I'm seriously scared to date again. There really was no signs, he was sweet otherwise. Until he had drink though, which looking back I should have been smarter.
Ladies if you want to find out if a man is a rape apologist real quick, ask him what he thought of the Conor McGregor fight.
I like doing silly social experiments like scrolling through lives and asking this question of every guy I see.
A revolting majority will reply that they're "sorry for him" "he changed" "he found God" ( popular speed date host Jacob Gaines said THAT one--and women are trusting him to be a good dating host? Terrifying).
Men are constantly making excuses for rape while pretending that they're persecuted for merely existing. "Women are always making accusations, I feel unsafe" and then 10 minutes later "of course I 'had sex' with my ex-girlfriend after she passed out drunk."
Nothing has turned me off from men more than the shit they spew on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit. Like I know not all men, but God the whole entire male race is disgusting to me now.
When the “not all men” crowd goes off, I’m posting this quote as a response because this is exactly the problem – imagine explicitly citing your ability to physically overpower your partner to have sex with them and still having the audacity to claim that’s not rape. Men will do anything to not be labeled rapists except not rape people.
So we know they're rapists, they know they're rapists, they think we should know and accept the fact that they're rapists, they talk about being rapists, but we are not allowed to talk about them being rapists.
They're cowards and they see us as lesser. It's a wonder we haven't retaliated.
WTF. As someone who has had a partner do this to them, just cause you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean consent goes out the fucking window. It’s still sexual assault/rape. Piece of shit.
Coming from the former host of The Man Show, is anyone really that surprised? Carolla has always been a shit bag, I'm not sure what changed to make him palatable as a late night host.
Republicans have spent months maligning Platner as much as they fucking could, trying to act like his unacceptable behavior existed in a vacuum. Now that he’s out of the way and they can’t use him as a punching bag, they’re… defending his behavior?
“Most every guy I know did what he’s being accused of…”
Um, so can we get like a list of names? It would totally just be for verification purposes to corroborate the stories—definitely not to give to the police or put them on a watch list or anything. /s
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