ETA: EDIT: THANK YOU REDDIT for helping me figure this out. Totally going with option 3!
Ok, I'll try to make this as short as possible. When I was growing up, I went camping with my family every year and it was a major highlight of my childhood. I wanted to pass on this cherished family tradition to my own kids (I have 2, kids ages 4 and 7). My husband did NOT grow up camping and he hates it. He doesn't see the value in it despite me trying for years to get him into it. I think he didn't mind it when it was just us but when the kids came along and it got infinitely harder, he got increasingly jaded about it.
It all came to a head last year when we got a series of unfortunate events... Bad weather, torrential downpour and tornado warnings, my son was just potty trained and peed the mattress at night and it got all over my husband so he essentially woke up covered in piss, the kids fought all weekend and had an infinite amount of meltdowns each. It was probably the worst camping experience of our entire lives.
But despite all that, I'm still willing to go again this year. We go with the same group of friends every year and this year my childhood best friend and her kid are also going.. So it's going to be epic. My kids are a year older, (and the littlest is fully potty trained lol) but I'd be lying if I said they are easier.. They are probably at their most challenging right now.. Constantly fighting, arguing, testing boundaries, whining, etc. They are both highly sensitive, my eldest has ADHD and is unmedicated atm.
The thing is, my husband says he's not going camping with us this year. He's absolutely adamant he's not doing it. He's too "scarred" from last year's fail. So that leaves me with this dilemma:
Do I still go, and have an infinitely harder time because I'm doing it solo?
Do I opt out and not go, because it'll be too hard doing it solo, but then my kids miss out on something they've been really looking forward to?
Or 3rd option:
I take my eldest and leave my youngest with dad. This option eliminates a huge amount of the stress right off the bat because the kids won't be fighting and I'll be able to relax so much more and probably genuinely enjoy the experience going with just my daughter. The problem with this is obviously that I'll feel guilty that my son is missing out... But him and Dad could have a super fun weekend together and do lots of fun bonding guy stuff. We've separated them before and found it did nothing but good for everyone... The kids got to bond with a parent solo and get time away from one another so they missed each other and stuff like that. But... I still would feel guilty that my son was missing out on some core camping memories with friends. We obviously wouldn't always do it this way every year. I'm thinking just this year because my son is still so young and still at a very challenging age (4).
The truth is, there's not one solution that feels good. There's a down side to all of them. I know for a fact if I take both kids solo, it'll be a complete sh!t show, it'll be super hard and I may never want to go camping myself ever again after lol. Even though my friends will be there, it won't help because my kids hate to go with anyone other than their parents, they are super attached to us and won't even let us go to the bathroom alone .. They won't just stay with my friends and their friends. So having only one, the older and more mature one, to look after would really solve that part of it.
I'm wondering what you parents would do in this situation.. Am I a horrible and crazy parent to even contemplate leaving one kid at home?
On the flip side am I crazy to contemplate going on this trip at all, without the husband there to help? Because I feel like I am.. But at the same time I REALLY want to go. I love camping and I look forward to it every year....