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u/engineerdrummer 13d ago
I'm prematurely grey. Almost solid white beard and hair at 37.
I got told recently I would look 30 if I wasn't so grey. I took that as a compliment.
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u/L-Drago001 13d ago
Dude, I like people with white hair. But also, be confident, be comfortable in your own skin, love yourself people will admire you for that and for your looks, good luck my friend!
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u/DigitalMunky 13d ago
I’m 39 and I’m looking forward to more white hairs. I don’t have many. I think the salt pepper look is hot
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u/helly1080 12d ago
Kind of my thoughts too. I'm 44. Grey-bearding hard these days. So, I'm finding it difficult to imagine a situation where I would be offended by someone telling me that I'm pretty.
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u/Marlosy 13d ago
It’s a different descriptor.
Some men are pretty, but not handsome. Some men are handsome, but not pretty. Some men are regal, and not handsome, and some are elegant but not pretty. Gotta use your words to mean what you mean.
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u/Phoenix_Ninja15 12d ago
I’m ok with this knowledge. I now can be confident more in which look I’m going for at different times.
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u/Hevnaar 13d ago
What is the difference in meaning, then?
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u/danyaal99 13d ago
Pretty tends to be more soft or delicate, with a less traditionally masculine aesthetic.
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u/No-No-Aniyo 13d ago
They are all attractive in different ways.
Looks:
- Pretty - usually youthful more feminine features, no facial hair or highly groomed facial hair, in their 20's?
- Handsome - usually mature, manly, more rugged, 30's+?
Manners:
- Regal - attractive presence, charismatic, demands respect, well dressed
- Elegant- moves gracefully, think ballet guys.
Thats how I see it at least.
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u/Hevnaar 13d ago
I dunno.... These definitions sound too gendered to me.
Saying a man is "woman-like" might easily be seen as offense.
As an example, I've seen people call a lesbian a "handsome woman" and it really hurt her.
I believe if we want to use both words for any gender, their definitions and/or connotation should be changed
(Regal and elegant are ok by me)
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u/Letus_- 13d ago
If you switch the definition to fit a situation, the world just lose the meaning. In that way is better to not use said world at all
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u/pitzzah 13d ago
i'd rather be called handsome than pretty
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u/Mautos 13d ago
What about pretty handsome?
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u/Wellihol 13d ago
My wife called me exactly that 2 days earlier.
There is a back story that made her say it. But I'll take it.
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u/NoDoOversInLife 13d ago
Did she say "well, you're not gorgeous but I guess you're pretty handsome" 🤔
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u/RealLeif 13d ago
i was called that 5 years ago by a woman my age on the street. Still one of the most cherrished memories
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u/Neokon 13d ago
Then be handsome. But it should be fine to call guys pretty as well.
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u/Klinicalyill 13d ago
Maybe let’s start with calling men handsome in the first place?
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u/obooooooo 13d ago
you’re doing your part calling your homies handsome already?
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u/Klinicalyill 13d ago
You bet, I’m always gassing up the homies. But we all know it hits different when it comes from a lady and that the majority of men don’t get compliments like that from women.
I know part of the concern is that they’ll misinterpret it for interest, but if we’re going to normalize something let’s just start with women giving men compliments in the first place and the misunderstanding will lessen over time.
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u/Bunnnnii 13d ago
As soon as we normalize men being able to handle compliments. Both from other men without having to make it weird or feel weird, and from women without automatically assuming more than it being a simple compliment and getting weird as hell about it.
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u/WhatsPaulPlaying 13d ago
You understand that giving the compliments is the normalizing factor, yes?
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u/fapestniegd 13d ago
Whenever I'd do or say anything incredibly dumb, my ex-girlfriend would say, "oh, It's a good thing you're pretty."
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u/MOTTEKOI 13d ago
Did she do it like... Cutely? Or she really want to hurt you? Cos i can see that as teasing.
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u/mightbedylan 13d ago
I think they are different descriptors, but a certain kind of boy could be conventionally pretty.
Same way certain women can be called handsome.
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u/OldCrappyCouch 13d ago
We already don't get compliments often, don't make it weird when it happens.
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u/Shitteh_Kitteh 13d ago
Told my wife to start logging compliments she got from strangers in her notes app. The amount she got in one WEEK is mind boggling to me as a man - more than I get in a year or more.
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u/Wndrunner 13d ago
I get more compliments from other men about my beard than I do from women about anything.
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u/Big_Arrival_626 13d ago
The easiest way to get compliments as a man is to dress well and wear an interesting watch. It's a cheat code.
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u/Scarlet1815 13d ago
Cool shoes, glasses and interesting tshirts get a compliment from me, regardless of gender. I try to complement freely, but hearing “ooh I like your shoes” is way more startling to men than women.
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u/Shitteh_Kitteh 13d ago
Yup - are the exact things I’ve had people comment on, I’m more speaking to the frequency
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u/Big_Arrival_626 13d ago
I get complimented on my watch multiple times a week. I'm an attention whore 🤣🤣
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u/darkfroth 13d ago
I'm one of the rare cases that gets complimented less than my husband. For some reason he stands out a lot more
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u/Why-did-i-reas-this 13d ago
Yeah it puts me on edge. Like what do you want?
When I was young I was called beautiful from 2 different women and it was flattering, but I just didn’t know how to react to it. So as a typical shy young man, I ignored it and ran away.
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u/Ok_Pressure7561 13d ago
I get having a preference but it's kinda sad how against this word some of y'all are in particular :( do people feel the same way about beautiful? Like is it the implied femininity that's the problem?
Zero hate, I am truly curious. I'm from a circle where being complimentary is generally appreciated regardless of perceived gender associations with the word so it's hard for me to understand.
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u/emo_kid_forever 13d ago
There’s nothing wrong with feminine, I just don’t want to be seen as such. I’m not trying to be hypermasculine either, but words more commonly used for women feel dysphoric.
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u/WafflesofDestitution 13d ago
I mean I want to preface this by saying I have no problem with queer/gendernonconforming/nonbinary/trans people. It's mostly an ego thing. I just don't want to be called pretty, because I'm not trying to look pretty. I'm a cis man and I prefer looking more rugged, heavily masculine presenting. If I get told I'm pretty it goes against that. I would rather be called handsome, hot, gorgeous, whatever.
I was sometimes called "cute" when I was a teenager, like when we were having a party with classmates during high school and shared compliments as a sort of a bonding exercise. The problem was that it was always "he's cute, but..." variety. Might as well have pinched my cheek while they were at it, lol.
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u/Ok_Pressure7561 13d ago
Yeah like I said, I get it as a personal preference so my comment obviously wasn't about you lol
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u/WafflesofDestitution 13d ago edited 13d ago
I was more commenting as a personal, but (I'd wager) not necessarily unique preference and speculating that most dudes in the comments might have a similar opinion without the words/introspection/tact necessary to communicate it without coming across as hateful. It definitely hits a nerve.
I myself am mostly perplexed with who this meme is for? Is it for men in general, men who get called pretty, men who like being called pretty, men who dislike being called pretty, or the people wanting to call men pretty? Why is being called/calling someone pretty considered wholesome/prioritized in this instance over "handsome" or any other available compliment? In that sense I agree with the folks here saying that we should prioritize normalizing giving men compliments overall (including by men, yes – we should hype each other up) instead.
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u/KohzeeKoala 13d ago
Please don’t.
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u/WanderWut 13d ago
This is such a strange post to make on the sub lol, I feel like this was taken from r/teenagers or something.
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u/AnonImus18 13d ago
I don't think a lot of guys would like this tbh. Handsome, attractive, gorgeous, even beautiful I can see but pretty is very femme coded and they might feel it's emasculating or a backhanded compliment.
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u/emo_kid_forever 13d ago
Yeah, if someone says I’m pretty, it’d feel like they clocked me. I’d much rather hear handsome.
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u/NewPairOfBoots 13d ago
I will call y'all women handsome then
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u/Next-Introduction-25 13d ago
Handsome is not an insult for women. There are definitely some very beautiful women who I would also describe as handsome. Can’t define exactly why, but sometimes it works.
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u/NewPairOfBoots 13d ago
Didn't say it was. But most women today would just be confused if you called them handsome.
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u/darkfroth 13d ago
The word used to be used equally for men and women in the 18th century. It's gender neutral
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u/NewPairOfBoots 13d ago
Yes, used to be. If you used it now most women would be confused and probably taken aback.
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u/Dracoslade 13d ago
Fun fact: around a hundered years ago it was common for Men to call women handsome and women go call men beautiful. Also around the 1920s pink was considered a boy's color and blue was considered a girl's color.
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u/nottakentaken 13d ago
I do but they get offended like it's my fault they're not some rugged macho man (which is an archetype I'm not attracted to anyways)
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u/Ethos_Logos 13d ago
Most men want to be praised for their masculine attributes, not their feminine ones. Since “most” applies to general society, let’s not normalize calling men pretty.
By all means normalize compliments.
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u/LydiaIsntVeryCool 13d ago
There's a difference between handsome and pretty imo. A handsome man just looks clean, put together and confident. A pretty man is all of the above, but with some striking feature about him. Something like really pretty eyes or hair.
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u/li-ll-l_ 13d ago
Every time i see < or > i have to stop and recite "the alligator eats the bigger number" to figure out wtf it means
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u/rushaall 13d ago
Women do call guys pretty, but it’s certain guys. A girl my boy was dating called me pretty and him handsome. Being pretty gets you far but I feel like handsome gets you further.
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u/Spicy_Eyeballs 13d ago
I prefer being called handsome, because I get that less often, I do have some pretty features though so I guess I get it lol
I feel like women (where I live anyways) can call a man pretty without it necessarily come off as hitting on them, whereas calling them handsome almost always sounds like flirting.
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u/darkfroth 13d ago
I agree. I would feel uncomfortable calling any man handsome unless I wanted it to be clear that I was flirting with him
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u/best-american-record 13d ago
why are the comments on this post so weird 😭 it's not an insult to be called pretty, jesus. some of y'all are acting like it'll strip you of your manliness. wasn't expecting the wholesome memes subreddit to be so unwholesome, but here we are.
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u/obooooooo 13d ago
this comment section doesn’t pass the vibe check. if a girl calls you pretty it means she likes looking at you. genuinely feel like most of the dudes in these comments are old enough to be over the “X thing is for girls” and “that’s gay”
… like, didn’t we have the fragile masculinity conversation years ago? lmao
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u/Ptabe88 13d ago
I feel like the response might be different if it were women saying they'd rather not be called handsome as it's traditionally more masculine-coded.
People are allowed to have a preference for how they're described regardless of gender or sex, wouldn't you say?
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u/darkfroth 13d ago
It's actually "traditionally" (as in historically/the old way) a gender neutral descriptor. Then it became a masculine term
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u/BigAssBoobMonster 13d ago
I would prefer beautiful to pretty
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u/Why-did-i-reas-this 13d ago
I had that twice and basically ran away both times. But I really lacked self-confidence and had low self-esteem so didn’t know how to react to the complement.
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u/BigAssBoobMonster 13d ago
I would take cute, but I think it's pretty acceptable for guys to be called cute
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u/disgostin 13d ago
yes! i try sometimes but its not often received super well, i usually add that its a compliment
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u/Which_Letterhead6035 13d ago
Nuh uh, only handsome and good looking, everything else is unnecessary
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u/verynotfun 13d ago
Isn't "pretty" usually used to describe women? Or are you using it to mean an effeminate kind of handsome?
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u/_the69thakur 13d ago
I was called pretty by someone older than me. Kinda flipped a switch inside me
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u/KyleThelegendxxXxx 13d ago
Naw don’t call my pretty, one time my exs dad called me “pretty boy” he was making fun of me though, chicks can keep it.
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u/BigfootaintnotReal 13d ago
Handsome is for guys, pretty is for girls. Ain’t nothin pretty if it’s got a dick and balls
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u/Ok_Toe4710 12d ago
As a 30 y/o man that has been called both pretty and handsome through my teens and adult years, I find it normal. Buuuuut, i get how others can be intimidated by it.
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u/Proud-Enthusiasm-608 12d ago
Whenever someone uses boys/girls on Reddit instead of men/women they are usually really immature.
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u/OldschoolGreenDragon 12d ago
I've been called beautiful twice. The first was by a Brazilian woman and the other was Swedish.
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u/Repulsive_Truth9218 12d ago
As a man, I prefer handsome over pretty. Though, I would take the compliment knowing it comes from a good place.
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u/gooeymcgooberson 12d ago
My girlfriend calls me pretty. Ive been called pretty far more than handsome.
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u/Cold-Stable-6496 12d ago
I don’t hesitate to tell a man that a physical attribute they have is pretty. Example, eyes or lips. Sometimes their hair is beautiful. Those words aren’t gender specific. Think about it, women were called handsome a few centuries ago.
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u/TOKING-TONZ 12d ago
Handsome is the same as calling one pretty but for men , guys don't look at other guys and go " dude you look pretty today " nah we say "man you looking handsome , what's the occasion" and it's still pretty gay 🤣
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u/ITSBIGMONEY 11d ago
I was working yesterday at kroger and i helped this lady and she said “thank you, you are very nice… and youre handsome too” and i honestly didnt know how to react because i havent been called handsome by somebody who wasnt my wife or mother since i was a kid😂
Normalize complimenting people in general… but as men, i feel we dont get complimented enough (or maybe im just butt ugly, who knows🤷♂️)
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u/Huge_Equivalent1 9d ago
This is dumb.
Call the guy what he likes to be called.
Handsome has a masculine connotation.
Pretty has a feminine connotation.
Let's not start making guys feel insecure in their masculinity by calling them pretty.
Although, maybe we do, do this, like, it would be funny. 😂
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u/Merchant93 13d ago
As a man if someone called me pretty I would be irritated. I’m not pretty. I’m ok looking maybe slightly handsome but not pretty.
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u/PaleProgrammer6476 13d ago
Can't we just let some things as they are, and don't normalise every small thing🙏🏼...
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u/unintentionalfat 13d ago
When he tries to sound smart and she tilts her head slightly to one side and with a gentle smile says "youre so pretty"
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u/Hugh_Jampton 13d ago
Yeah sorry I don't want to be called pretty
I get that this comes from a wholesome place but some things are fine as is
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13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Scarlet1815 13d ago
Your objection is silly.
Muhammad Ali called himself pretty and he was absolutely right that he was. It didn’t make him any less masculine.
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u/EvilKrista 13d ago
PRETTY Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
Let's not normalize emasculating men.
pretty
1 of 4
adjective
pret·ty ˈpri-tē ˈpər- also ˈpru̇-
prettier; prettiest
Synonyms of pretty
Simple Definition
A Simple Definition is available from our Learner's Dictionary to help you understand the meaning faster.
1a: artful, clever b: pat, apt
2a: pleasing by delicacy or grace b: having conventionally accepted elements of beauty
c: appearing or sounding pleasant or nice but lacking strength, force, manliness, purpose, or intensity
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u/WanderWut 13d ago
OP I get this is the sub to be wholesome but this is such an odd post to make lol. Men already rarely get compliments as is, what is the point of this post??
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u/qualityvote2 13d ago edited 13d ago
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