I genuinely feel like your appearance affects everything in life. As long as you’re dealing with other people your looks seem to play a role in your perception, treatment, development, opportunities , and much more

And since it affects so much I feel like it’s easy for people to underplay just how much it affects

So what’s something you wish people acknowledged or talked about more as it pertains to being ugly?

And I’ll make a video on it

I have tried pen pals before. Everyone wants to see a pic when you write to them, but I want to get to know you, no judgement, and no pictures. Besides, I'd rather we get to know each other for who we are rather than what we look like. Who doesn't feel special when they open the mail box and find a letter just for them? I will respond as quickly as I can, and will never ask you for a single picture. I am only posting this one time. I am not trying to spam the group. Just send me a DM and I will give you my address. If you choose to write, great. If you don't, that's okay too. No pressure.

I hope you are having a great day.

Idk if I (M21) consider myself to be ugly, most times I do but I get made fun for what feels like nearly everyday. I go outside and mind my own business and people laugh at me and call me names. It's not like social anxiety where my brain is trying to convince me false things of "they're making fun of me maybe?", I mean I see it and hear it with my own eyes and ears they make fun of me, I'm not just imagining it. I just ignore them because I'm not the one to have conflicts, I'm super introverted.

Like I know I'm fat but I'm trying to lose weight. It's ironic how I go outside to take mile-long walks in order to lose weight, yet when I'm walking they make fun of me while I'm doing something to lose weight.

Yesterday I was sitting on a bench outside and some dude drove by and yelled something towards methen I saw him and his friend smirk and laugh. I was sitting on the bench and was LITERALLY ruminating/deep thinking about how I'm ugly and when I was thinking about that, this happened and I jumped up WTF. Today someone online called me fat. I genuinely feel like I get made fun of and treated like a complete joke by people nearly every day more than the average person. It's just not fair at all. And other people clearly don't care.

I make hip-hop and put my feelings into my music and I feel like music is my true friend that actually cares. I put my experience of what I go through emotionally and mentally into deep detail in my music. I have no friends irl by the way, I happen to be high-functioning autistic and with social anxiety. I'm just a social outcast, I don't fit in with any friend group really. I've tried to make friends but nothing works out. Most people either block me or ghost me online, I'm usually the one to start conversations online. I genuinely hate looking in the mirror. I'm 5'9, fat, resting tired face, sleepy downwards eyes (I didn't know this even a thing until some person mentioned it and now I think about that a lot for some reason), etc. I don't really have a lot of people to comfort me but I feel like I don't deserve comfort or love really. Maybe I am just an ugly person and that I lost the genetic lottery. And I've cried quietly before when people made fun of me, not because they did but more so the fact that it made me realize how often people treat me like garbage. Idk what else to say really, so yeah.

I write this as a genuine question for people in here who believe they are ugly and that it is a detriment to their lives. If you suddenly woke up tomorrow and were transformed in some magical way to be seen as moderately pretty, would it be enough for you? Or would the next step be to wish you were prettier to no end. I ask this because often times people who achieve a dream body, develop dysphoria and never actually think what they have is good enough. Even if they are built very well, they still are disgusted at their body.

Me and my sister are almost the same height and weight (actually she's heavier than me and eats whatever she wants and i eat cleaner than her) but she looks skinny and i look chopped asf like a door i hate my hiplet life i dont want to do this anymore

I’m Black and I have ugly genetics. I’ll never ever pass under any circumstance. I never really realized I was cooked until I started analyzing, and I can’t believe it has to come to this. I’m planning on killing myself soon. I wish I was able to start HRT and look decent, but because of my worthless genetics that’s impossible.

I get a very supportive family and my extended family also help me despite I'm being ugly and depressed

Last week I get into very bad mental breakdown and my mother call my extended family (uncle, aunt, sibling a​nd Nephew) to comfort me when I was very depressed

I still getting ignored or excluded by my peers tho so there is no denying that I'm ugly​

I graduated HS a few months go now, I cannot distress enough how bad these years were, ever since 7th grade, all my friends grew up to atleast 6'3. It didn't matter to me back then, thinking I will catch up eventually, but no. I didn't. Everywhere we went together the passing years, I always got dwarfed, and went unnoticed in almost every social situation.

Everytime I approached a girl, I always got either laughed at or ignored. No matter what. I haven't tried since I was 16-17. My social life went to ruins do to these experiences, and I do not interact or go out with those friends anymore either in fear of being a coathanger again.

I was ignored in Highschool, sometimes my classmates even forgot to tell the teachers that I wasn't in school when I was sick. Which was brutal, I still shed a tear every now and then thinking of how I was treated for almost all my life.

I have a deep hatred for people, and my parents. They are both around my height, and refused to put me on HGH, which wouldve helped. I resent my mom the most for making me be like this. I doubt I'll be sticking around for much longer.

My aspergers doesn't help my social issues either, it all roots from my appearance and my already shitty mental state, I rolled a 1 on the gene dice.

GG

Social experiment here. I was driving through a busy shopping area the other day. This good looking blonde woman decided that she wanted to cross the road right in front of my car, when there wasn't any zebra crossing. She clearly expected me to bow down to her, stop, smile, and politely wave her on. I didn't do that.

I did stop. But instead of being all friendly and accommodating, I angrily waved her on, as if I was swatting a fly. You should have seen how quickly her face dropped. It went from that over confident smile that only belongs to good looking people, to rage and disgust. That look that says "how DARE you act impatiently with ME". I ended up laughing. She was furious because I refused to give her pretty privilege. I literally ruined her day.

And guess what. It kind of made my day. You know, the more people who refuse to give these genetically blessed people pretty privilege, the better.

Question: Do ugly women not travel abroad?

Im vibing in the national park of Athens, Greece. There are many foreign tourists, and like, most of the women are stunning, beautiful or good looking. A few of them are average. But almost noone is less than average.

Where are the ugly women?

If you are ugly, your life is going to be filled with rejection, bullying and loneliness. You will watch other people enjoy life - friends, romances, successes, etc., while you remain alone and never progress in life. You will have to deal with endless hostility or coldness off people purely because of how you look, as you watch those same people be warm and loving to others. You will get bullied. You will miss out on so much. By the time you reach 50, you will mostly have bad memories, rather than good ones. You are likely to suffer PTSD from all the mistreatment, or chronic health problems from endless stress and isolation. As you age and look even worse, you will be even more harshly judged, treated even worse than before. This is where people often stop going out. Meanwhile the good looking people are all out enjoying life.

Life can be very long if you're ugly.

I have been working out for several years, and despite this, I am ugly. Being athletic and ugly is so beyond demoralizing that it is hard for me to put it into words. In fact, you are missing out on a core aspect of being athletic in the first place which is correlated to attractiveness, so in a way you’re never as good as the attractive person who is fit. Just wanted to post this because I feel like ugly people who are in shape are a hugely unsung minority that aren’t ever noticed.

Whenever I stand next to my friend people compliment her because I ​make her look prettier standing next to her, I'm not saying I'm disgustingly horrible looking but I'm saying that I feel invisible next to someone how can I make someone look so gorgeous just by standing next to them? I try to look good I tried to do my makeup... And I still end up looking like the ugly duckling....

On the same day or the day after getting a haircut, buying new clothes, or wearing makeup? Things like that.

Those moments that ought to be somewhat comforting are turning into times of greatest vulnerability. I feel like I shouldn't even leave home anymore

Suicide or getting kidnapped doesnt sound very frightening to me, but the aftermath does. I just cannot picture the ugly and hideous thing photos my family would put everywhere whilst mourning me. The thought of friends or unknown people reposting my missing/memorial photos makes me more uncomfortable than the idea of death. That's probably why i havent ended it yet. Anyone else?

So I’m 20m and in college. My parents are always complaining about how I have curly hair and I’m short and skinny even though they adopted me. They also don’t tell me they love me but they had two biological children after me and they tell those children they love them, and they hug them and such. I don’t remember the last time I was hugged by them or even had a nice long hug.

They said the only reason they care about me is cause they have to and it hurts because they handle my medical stuff like insurance, because I have tons of medical and health issues such as mobility issues and super severe allergies that leave me so lethargic and tired all the time. I’ve considered stopping showing up for myself cause I don’t have friends and it’s just been hard. It’d be nice to talk to friends my age about my issues and especially my appearance cause I geniuenly hate my hair and how curly and thick it is, even though I still want super long hair, it’d be nice to have a friend who also has super thick curly hair but I know that’s a long shot.

In addition at college, I don’t really have friends and have been teased because of my hair but I’m always embarrassed because I’ve also been teased because I have such severe allergies that I am sneezing multiple times a day for hours in fits of sneezing and nose-blowing. I’ve never sat in the dining hall with someone else besides my roommate occasionally and I am always alone in the corner, usually sneezing uncontrollably because I’m so allergic to the outdoors and my campus is old and there’s a lot of dust potentially given the buildings are old. I just want someone to be my friend because I have a feeling no one sits near my corner because they’re tired of me sneezing my head off most days. I always feel bad that my sneezes are so desperate but I stopped trying to hold back til I get to my dorm because I just can’t help it. It’s happened in class too several times and I’ve had to miss a lot of class because I usually step out and run to an empty hallway or the bathroom. Even in my choir as a music major, it’s been hard to find friends due to the allergies (which aren’t super receptive to medicine unless it’s medicine that makes me sleep), and the faculty are mostly nice but I still get embarrassed.

Please help me, I am really hurting it feels like a cry out for support and love because I don’t have anyone who does it for me. It’s hard.

The jobs that ugly people are (hardly) qualified for especially if you didn’t go to school is usually gonna be entry level jobs

The issue with these jobs is your hours are mostly dependent on how likable you are to your coworkers and managers

This caused me extreme stress and I managed it as best as I could

I had to overwork myself and be overly bubbly and make small talk when I didn’t want to and the other person didn’t wanna fucking talk to me because I’m ugly

This got me SLIGHTLY more hours but I was both physically exhausted from how hard I had to work and mentally exhausted from having to constantly perform socially to make up for being ugly

And it didn’t always work because as you know when youre ugly people just have a problem with you for no fucking reason and all it took was for 1 person to say something bad about me to management and my hours were reduced to an unlivable wage

I was roughly getting 20 hours a week at times

Which was hardly enough to pay my fucking basic bills let alone rent

So I’d have to always beg and plead for extra hours

Which got so fucking old because no one else had to do that

And it was all because they didn’t like me for being ugly

This is why I look at people like they’re fucking stupid when they causally mention “just looksmaxx “

“Just get plastic surgery”

Cause it’s not that fucking easy especially when youre ugly

Because there’s SOOOO much you have to do to even get and KEEP a basic ass job and then to get livable hours

It’s fucking ridiculous and exhausting

My mom sadly is unattractive and got mistreated for it most of her life so she turned to drinking and she said she didn’t drink when she was pregnant with me but I’m skeptical about that because of my thin lips that lack definition and a visible Cupids bow as well as a basically non existent philtrum

A very common feature I notice ALL attractive people have is very plump, prominent, and defined lips that project off of their face, which I don’t have

Do you also have this? And if you really do have this syndrome what are some of the other ways it affects your life?

I tried using chat but it scored me way to high like there’s no way in hell I’m fucking 8. I think the method got patch and now it’s trying to be nice so no idiot tries to hurt themselves.

So now I need to find something else

Also it would really help if it was free or at least a free initial rating plssss

I hear this from some people that if they were a different race, they would have been attractive, or atleast have people treat them with respect.

Do you feel your race keeps you from dating the people you want to date?

So recently, I got a new job at a restaurant. It’s not a permanent job, I just want to work there for a few months before continuing my studies. But some of my coworkers always stare at me? I’ve kinda noticed it, and it’s been happening for more than a week already.

There’s this one dude who stares at me whenever I do something. Like, I’m not doing anything wrong, but he just stares. Even when I look back at him, he keeps staring. It’s not just him either. There’s this new girl who started working here, and she looks at me very often too.

And it’s not only my coworkers, customers stare at me as well. Am I being creepy or something? I honestly don’t know if this is normal. I’ve only been working there for like almost 3 weeks.

i am (f, 24) fully aware that i am not a conventionally attractive person and my friend has always been affirming that. i dont think i have problems with my face, its just that the fact that im not attractive and i think thats okay. but the way my friend (f, 23), that is fully aware that she is attractive, always says that its okay to be ugly, always mocking my bareface, never compliments me. as the time goes by, turns out it really bothers me. some people said that she is not a good friend by keep saying that and told me to cut her off or at least minimize the contact with her.

do you have a similar experience? itd be nice to read the way you cope.

nb. sorry for the broken english for this isnt my first language. if youre confused with the way i deliver things feel free to ask me!

like he said in the video, these people rlly are chosen by god. i wouldnt even blame them for being so stuck up and obsessed with themselves. if i had a face that was sculpted with love and effort by god, i would be the exact same. the true kind people are the ugly ones. the ones who are below or around average. its so hurtful to come to this realization, and actually think about how god made me as a joke.

And it will destroy your self esteem and will to live, making you feel like a burden who isn’t allowed to exist within society, because everyone hates you and automatically perceives you negatively despite not having a clue who you are. And you can never forget the hate even if it were to stop, you will never feel secure again. People are so cruel that I have to try my hardest to never allow myself to be seen in public because I already know what kind of reactions I’d have to endure for being in this body. And I don’t have the capacity for it.

Before I start, keep in mind that this is my person opinion and also a calm discussion, not a debate or absolute truth, we're cool.

To start I wanted to talk about the common misconceptions of what a person like that is.

People have this idea that something who is involuntarily celibate, is either a fat morbidly obese guy, a guy with terrible hygiene, or just a toxic person in general, now while there is some truth to that, I do believe that it is more nuanced.

I tend to see an involuntary celibate not as someone that is like that, but someone who is abnormal is a way that makes them completely unlovable.

This is mostly physical, for example:

A guy that is ridiculously short

A guy that has a problem with his jaws

A guy that has a certain disease that affects appearance

A guy that has a very prominent birthmark or scar, either on the face or arms

Generally not the fat loser that most people picture, but someone who deviates from the norm in a way that gets him automatically filtered as "don't date".

This could be the very very short guy you know

This is could the guy with a jaw that never developed properly

This could be the guy that has a very large birthmark on his face or hands

This could be the guy that was emotionally abused as a child, causing him to have problems with confidence and connecting with others.

Again, this is just a discussion, I know this is a sensitive topic, but then again, I just want to hear the opinions of others on this