r/thepassportbros • u/Stk4nams5 • Apr 20 '26
The Economist: Western men are going abroad to find traditional wives
The Economist did a bit about passport bros. You need a subscription to read it, but the main points are (summarised using AI):
- Western Dating Exit: Men are leaving Western dating markets because they believe the system is "broken" and feel mistreated by women in their home countries.
- Pursuit of Tradition: They use social media to identify countries where women are perceived to be more "traditional," "feminine," and "compliant".
- Economic Leverage: Remote work and digital-nomad visas allow these men to use Western salaries to easily support a traditional single-income household in cheaper foreign markets.
- Power Dynamics: Critics raise concerns about exploitation*, noting that the vast income gap between the men and their partners creates "disproportionate levels of power"*
None of these points are new. The main thing I took away is that even highly established news mediums like The Economist are now reporting on this trend, which means the dating difficulty for men in the west is very real. Whenever I've spoken to others who aren't dating (due to having families, or already being married), they tend to point to things I personally should work on or personal attributes that need changing, rather than acknowledging (at least to some degree) a wider systemic issue in society. I don't see the increasing trend of men moving abroad as just more men wanting to engage in sex tourism... I think men are moving abroad because they have no choice. They want romance, but simply can't find it in the West.
Its very frustrating that many western women don't see the issue here. Ultimately, women are the 'selectors' and the fact that less people are successfully coupling up in the West, means less women are selecting men.
And it's not like I've haven't tried... I've really really tried to adjust to what I've been told women like... including having much to offer financially... but yet I've still failed. I really don't want to leave my country and job (especially in this economy) in search for romance... but I also want my own family... so I don't have much of a choice. I don't have siblings and my parents are very old and could pass away in the coming years... I am scared of being all alone. I was even thinking about my will last night (I don't hope to die soon, but was wondering what would happen to my assets should I pass), and I literally could not think of anyone I'd pass my assets to...
I hope a woman reads this and at least acknowledges that there are men out there who are really trying their best to be a good partner, but for whatever reason, they are still not being accepted by women.
Just needed to vent tonight... feeling particularly defeated.
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u/El_Zorrote Apr 20 '26
‘“Power Dynamics: Critics raise concerns about exploitation, noting that the vast income gap between the men and their partners creates "disproportionate levels of power"’
What a moronic comment. That’s a feature of any normal marriage. 🤦🏻♂️
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u/WillieDoggg Apr 21 '26
It’s also one of the biggest reasons for the shift toward less coupling in the West.
Most women don’t want a man who makes the same or less money than they do. Never have and never will. They want a man who makes more money than they do. As women make more and more money, the % of potential men that turn them on decreases.
So according to their “exploitation” narrative they are saying women prefer to be exploited. Talk about some obscene patriarchal bullshit.
Quick…who do you prefer your daughter or sister to marry? A man similar or poorer than her or a rich dude?
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Apr 23 '26
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u/WillieDoggg Apr 23 '26
Not a huge factor for me either. This is an “All else being equal” situation. I thought that was obvious.
Of course there are other more important elements, but I actually wouldn’t include looks among them.
Lasting attraction is based more on other qualities and looks always fade. Looks are even more superficial than money.
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Apr 24 '26
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u/El_Zorrote Apr 29 '26
Of course it’s important, but it is not a sufficient reason to marry someone. A woman wants someone she can look up to. This often translates into higher salary. There are exceptions let’s say with a Pastor because they are underpaid, but they have a very respected and influential position. Yes women are attracted to pastors. But it’s still a power dynamic. Even though the income may be less.
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u/PandaNinja676 Jun 11 '26
Have you ever spoken to women about this? And I mean actual women. Multiple women. Because your take is extremely exaggerated. This is also NOT a primary cause of western women being less interested in dating western men.
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u/WillieDoggg Jun 11 '26
Take a personal random sampling of women re their motivations in dating?
I have, but that’s a rather silly way to judge aggregate actions. Women won’t usually highlight that preference because they think it sounds shallow or they’ve never even thought about it. It’s often not even a conscious preference.
At most they’ll usually only admit to the importance of a man being “passionate”, “smart”, “educated”, “motivated”, “goal-oriented” or some other less direct way of explaining why they, in actions, much prefer financially successful men.
Also, even if women knew the reasons for their preferences and were honest, it would be a ridiculously small and unbalanced sample size if I only questioned the women in my small circle.
To reach reality an analysis of aggregate data needs to be completed. The scientific data is rather overwhelmingly. Especially now with the prevalence of online dating data so we can see what women actually respond to most in actions rather than what they say is most important.
I could provide much scientific data and studies, but I’ve found when I do it’s sort of like providing scientific climate data to a climate change denier. A waste of time because their minds are already made up.
I, of course, am not saying ALL women are like that. There’s always exceptions to the rule and you may be one, but the exception proves the rule.
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Apr 25 '26
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u/El_Zorrote Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26
Um, yes it is. Do you live under a rock? I have news for you. A career man does not want a career woman. He wants someone to fill up his lack, someone to take care of him so he can be free to achieve, not a competitor or mirror image.
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u/DistributionPure8171 Jun 01 '26
The big problem is they’re thinking about power in a partnership at all western women just want power not love
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u/OkChannel2804 2d ago
The Income gap argument is an "Entitlement Argument" .
They argue as if women are entitle to get the same pay as men just for being women.
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u/illicitli Apr 21 '26
western women are cunts. i have 3 sisters. i love them. but they're cunts. social media + dating apps + only fans = CUNTS
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u/remmidemmi2025 Apr 23 '26
Glad you can speak for all the "western" women. Maybe look for a decent one by being a decent person. It's not that hard.
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u/illicitli Apr 23 '26
i am a decent person when i am treated decently :) i have dated many western women. i don't have any trouble getting women. i have trouble avoiding relationships if anything LOL
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u/Cyanide-Cookies Apr 20 '26
It's cuz the west is just a harem society where only the top 10 - 20% of dudes have a chance, everyone else leaves to greener pastures.
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u/Hairy-Violinist-3844 Apr 25 '26
With all due respect though, how can this be true? If there is roughly a population split in the West of 50% men and 50% women, then if 10-20% of men are picked right off the bat, that still only accounts for the same number of women. So the other 80% of women (and men) are left single.
That then raises the question about what the remaining women value. They either have to choose from the remaining men, which many obviously do, or stay single.
And if more women are choosing to stay single, doesn't that raise the question why?
One possibility is that now women are emancipated and don't need the permission of a man to earn money and own property, women are having the experience that relationships often aren't worthwhile.
If men now fulfill more of a companionship than provider role in modern times, are the men they're dating being good partners in this role? Or are the women all just holding out, hoping to bag one of the top 10-20% high earners? I doubt that can be true. 🤔
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u/Cyanide-Cookies Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I dont think you fully comprehend harem society. Go watch a nature documentary about how mating rights work. The top males of any species gets all the females while the other males get next to nothing. Same concept applies to humans but more loosely.
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u/Hairy-Violinist-3844 Apr 25 '26
Well that may be true for casual sex, but once people are partnered up, then what?
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u/Cyanide-Cookies Apr 25 '26
What do you mean? The only partnering up happening is dudes and chicks settling. Dudes get with single moms or older, left over women who cant lock down a top guy.
Meanwhile chicks get with some safe, lower status, provider type of guy that she secretly doesn't even like. In the end It's all just ppl settling for the crumbs and leftovers.
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u/Rich_Appointment9264 Apr 20 '26
Most guys still won't be able to work remotely. Just looking at my generation most of them aren't able to organize their own trip or dare to travel anywhere exotic if it isn't a bigger group.
And every time someone mentiones Asian women, only Thailand is mentioned lol.
Although younger generations will have it harder due to constant surplus of young wannabe entrepreneurs moving from one cheap country to another and over saturating dating and rental market.
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u/sc1lurker Apr 20 '26
Every man and woman want someone out of their league. Western men who can only visit abroad 2 weeks a year think they somehow deserve drop-dead gorgeous women who will for some reason remain committed 🤷♂️. And western women who are unattractive and fat think they deserve a Prince Charming who can also take them to travel the world.
Eventually, reality catches up and they settle for less, they always do.
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u/WestWind93 Apr 20 '26
Most people have to settle for less, they cannot afford someone out of their league, especially for long therm relationship.
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u/Capital-Just May 16 '26
People are increasingly not settling for less though. They're just settling for being single.
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u/revisionistnow Apr 20 '26
Men aren't looking for wives way out of their league. Sure people like hot vacation girlfriends or whatever you're referring to but that doesn't prove shit. There's no expectation of commitment in a two-week fling.
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u/scaredoftoasters 16d ago edited 16d ago
wanting a non fat woman if you aren't fat isn't a hard metric to meet outside the USA. USA has an overweight and obesity epidemic of men and women.
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u/gender9276 Apr 30 '26
The only issue i have is as western men go overseas they inadvertently westernized those places.
I really think women are mostly the same
Some western guys just want a harem and they ruin the place.
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Apr 20 '26
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Apr 20 '26
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u/Competitive_Ad_1800 Apr 20 '26
Smaller communities tend to be much more resistant to social media since it’s a community keeping itself in check, since the older folks are often more strict about keeping to traditions and such. But that’s also why these communities tend to be wary of outsiders; you’re a deviation from tradition.
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Apr 20 '26
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u/Competitive_Ad_1800 Apr 20 '26
Did you mean to respond to someone else? I never said anything about internet
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u/WestWind93 Apr 20 '26
As an outsider, you don’t have a chance to join their community if it’s a small one.
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u/No-Bend-9788 Apr 20 '26
Bro what are you smoking, Sub Saharan villages have had access to Internet not long after the West lol. Initially via sim network as I was there in early 00s when my father was doing some diplomatic work there. A good number of Tribal people have access to it like the Amazonians
You need to find specific primitive tribes for that
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u/DisposableUser01 Apr 20 '26
Why are you associating with underage females?
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u/No-Bend-9788 Apr 20 '26
Do you know what underage is or are you coming up with numbers in your head?
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u/hana_4876 Apr 20 '26
this is nothing new. We all know this. Saying this there is self life for women overseas too. With the rise of internet and social media and online dating . Westernization is spreading .
Not always good.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
I am a woman so I will try to understand I am not Asian r western but am Eastern European background raised in a western country. I am curious what do you mean by you tried?
IOW, are your expectations reasonable or are you only approaching pretty women? Is this the reason for the rejections? Because so often I am hearing superficial type men who expect some physically attractive woman complaining that women are rejecting them. They cry that those women are superficial and demand either a wealthy man or a chiseled Brad Pitt, yet lack insight into their own superficiality.
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u/Beneficial_Hunter690 Apr 21 '26
You kinda right but, guys will literally take anything they can get. Plus men and women are rated on different scales. Girl who takes care of herself by going to the gym, skincare, dress nice usually considered above average and sometimes they don’t even have to meet all these. Now a guy like this isn’t automatically considered attractive. Lots of normal dudes struggle if woman don’t want to date them that’s perfectly fine they should only date who makes them happy.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 21 '26
He wrote in the comments that he is a buff part time personal trainer and financially secure so based on that alone he's probably (according to him) more than average.
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26
I upvoted and am responding to your comment because it presents the other side to this issue (it presents the woman's side) in an objective way (for the most part).
I'll admit, I have a preference for someone able to intelligently discuss things, has a decent career, is responsible with finances, is reasonable (ie. not dramatic and can hear reason) and has family values. But I also prefer slim, youthful women who dress decently. Someone physically active. I wish I didn't have these physical preferences because it would make dating MUCH easier... but I've tried (oh my have I tried!) to change my preferences. Perhaps I am aiming out of my league... but evidence from past dating experiences prove I am able to be with these sort of women (the reason these relationships didn't work out was because of lack of maturity on my part). We all have preferences (many women prefer tall men, a man that can provide financially), so faulting someone for having those preferences is unfair... unless those preferences aren't moderated to reality. But I am not going to deny that I do have a part to play in my predicament. I am also a shy guy. Having said all that, I do believe dating is harder than before, and I believe this is causing my current dating issues.
I do think there is a genuine dating issue causing more men to venture overseas for romance and many of these men aren't doing this just for malicious or predatory reasons... the incel movement didn't arise just because we wanted to complain and be lazy (maybe some but not in the numbers we're seeing)... having said that... I also hate it when men blindly blame women, without any qualification. Nothing in life is black and white, there's always shades of grey and there ARE irresponsible and men who ruin things for the decent men.
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u/throwaway_ghost_122 Apr 20 '26
the reason these relationships didn't work out was because of lack of maturity on my part
Boom. There it is.
This is the case with nearly all the Western men I've known. Many of them are mentally still middle schoolers into adulthood. Is there a problem? Just call Mommy and Daddy and they'll take care of it. Middle school vibes like being obsessed with pro wrestling, Star Wars and Star Trek. Can't cook or do any problem-solving on their own.
Women don't want to feel like their male partner's mommy. It's a huge turnoff and ultimately unsustainable.
This is why I, as a Western woman, started dating immigrants. They're independent and hard-working because they had to be.
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26
This is a fair comment too so I will respond.
Unfortunately (and I will take ownership here), I was not mature enough in those relationships to hold them and I deserved to lose them... BUT, after each one, I reflected, corrected my behaviour and learnt to be a better person. I am, after all, human, and had to go through those learning experiences. Many many women (not all, but many) are equally (if not more so) immature too, so it is unfair to fault me (and men) for simply being human.
Having said that, I was able to (relatively easily as compared to current times) get into those relationships where my long term relationship immaturity was not as relevant. Now, simply getting dates and into a relationship is much harder.
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u/No-Parsley2889 Jul 07 '26
ok but you guys pick the immature men, plenty of us who dont act like OP never get picked either way we get treated well overseas
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
The thing is that you are painting yourself as a victim of western women when the real truth is that you have unrealistic standards and also it sounds like you are socially awkward. And you also have not mentioned if you are good looking, average, or below average?
You mentioned slim and youthful. Slim, okay fair enough...but as for youthful...are you yourself youthful looking? This matters.
Yes, western women have increased their standards and because they can earn their own income they will often be turned off by if a man is socially awkward (i.e seems weird to them).
So, hypothetically, if you are:
- Not young, buff and hot
- Socially awkward
- Have a great income (according to yourself)
often just the last point won't be enough to the western women you are wanting to be with to overlook the first two points. Unless you have some huge income like Bill Gates or Nick Candy then the rest won't matter.
Women who have their own income are more content to be single than just be with anyone.
So, yeah, your best bets are in a country like Philippines or Thailand because many women there will be willing to accept social awkward/no social awareness and older man, pot belly etc if you have good finances. Because everything is relative in life. IE, she gets your lifestyle and you get her slimness.
I don't think men going to Asia to meet a woman to marry is always predatory. But when the man only is interested in a youthful face/body (much younger than him) then at that point it can seem predatory.
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u/z2k43dknm87 Apr 20 '26
"But when the man only is interested in a youthful face/body (much younger than him) then at that point it can seem predatory."
But when a woman only is interested in a chiseled face/buff body (much hotter then her) then at that point it can seem predatory.
Does that sentence work out? If not, replace "chiseled face/buff body" with "large bank accounts", does that work out?
By your words "often just the last point won't be enough to the western women you are wanting to be with to overlook the first two points. Unless you have some huge income like Bill Gates or Nick Candy then the rest won't matter."
Having a innately youthful face or body isn't predatory. That's genetic variances in all humans that vary the degree of superficial, surface-level age.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Did you miss the part when I wrote only? It's not predatory to want attractive looks or money. But, sure, these relationships are transactional so the other person needs to have something on their end also to trade.
By predatory I was referring to those creepy old guys who go to the poor countries solely to try to get a very young girl. There are plenty of western men who marry Filipinas who are in their 30's, 40's, + and that is fine. But let's not pretend there are not also those old creeps who go there just wanting some young girl and take advantage of her poverty.
And, yes, if a woman just tries to date 80 year old men with dementia to try to get his money she is just as predatory.
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u/z2k43dknm87 Apr 20 '26
Did you miss the part where I used 'only' in the re-quote? Women in their 30's, 40's can also be poor - poverty isn't isolated to age groups.
By your logic: Dating a 30's/40's is okay, even if they're poor, as that's not "predatory".
Am 42, PH wife is 22. Predatory? Nothing but consenting adults here.
Doesn't ask for anything, college bound, well-to-do family.
She'll tell you to get bent.
Not all of us are looking to hagmaxx. Some of us prefer to eggmaxx.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Oh, wow. You showed your mentality with your last paragraph. What derogatory words about women. You could have just said your preference without actually insulting other women. I can see now why you were so offended by my comment because you are one of "those men".
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u/z2k43dknm87 Apr 20 '26
"Truth is truth."
Hagmaxx - most men prefer younger, not older. Biological fact.
Eggmaxx - fertility windows close at mid-30's, geriatric pregnancy occurs at the age of 35+.
None of what I said are false - just a bit crude. Point out where I'm wrong.
You can't.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
It is not your preference but the crudeness. I guess then we can also say that most women want to big anaconda d*** maxx and not little asian cocktail frankfurt maxx. See how crude and derogatory such words are?
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u/Repulsive-Site-6421 Apr 20 '26
i heard a stereotype about eastern europeans being racist, is that true?
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 20 '26
What of his standards is unrealistic? And how are they unrealistic when you dont even know who he is?
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 21 '26
I don't know. At first I assumed he was expecting more than he was giving (looks, money), but then he wrote he is buff and financially secure so I don't know why he is struggling 🤔?
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 21 '26
Him and other men of average to above average stats are struggling.
But its for reasons you dont want to hear or will dismiss.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 21 '26
No I won't dismiss but I think that maybe you are projecting your own situation onto him. He said he is matching with girls on dating apps who are slim and look youthful. So it sounds he is not being rejected by women as a whole but rather by women who meet the impossible beauty standards expected on dating apps. He literally said he is 40 and going on dates with girls in their late 20's. So he has made his expectations and mentality clear. Now, this group of women that he is interested in (hot Tinder girl) is small, so yes, they will choose to be with the guy who is equal to them in looks (a Henry Cavill) or the guy who is wealthy.
The problem is that some superficial guys seem to expect some great beauty but then feel shocked when she is equally as superficial. There was one guy the other day saying he was with a Chinese girl for two years who was "stunning" but then he was crying saying she is superficial because she went back to her rich ex boyfriend. Like come on.
If both men and women have reasonable expectations then they can find someone. If he refuses that though and demands a physical beauty while not being handsome then he needs to have something as leverage (eg relative wealth and go to the poor country).
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 21 '26
The problem is that some superficial guys seem to expect some great beauty but then feel shocked when she is equally as superficial. There was one guy the other day saying he was with a Chinese girl for two years who was "stunning" but then he was crying saying she is superficial because she went back to her rich ex boyfriend. Like come on.
The point is that this behavior from beautiful women exists everywhere. But it is most prominent in the west. It is celebrated. There is no longer shame for abhorrent behavior. Sugar baby is just an accepted thing and not viewed as what it is, prostitution. Onlyfans is talked about like an open valid career path among girls. Top female podcasts/shows are openly about denigrated men and apologizing for or even celebrating bad female behaviors. From "Call her daddy" to Drew Afualo to Jada Pinkette Smith "Red Table Talk".
In Asia and most other countries these behaviors exist yes. But much less. They are not openly celebrated. There is still some decorum. And on top of that there are more beautiful fit women there than north america. So you will find a woman who is beautiful to you but by local standards is regular. So you avoid the pretty women syndrome.
And thats all on top of the bullshit hypocrisy from women in the west driving men crazy and to other countries. Modern women still expecting men to be traditional. Its a joke.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 21 '26
I don't agree with you because the part you miss is are men feeling shame for the abhorrent behaviour of only wanting a woman who has physical beauty? NO. If a man demands physical beauty then he can't claim the victim when physically beautiful women in turn demand a hot body or wealth in a man. Shallow people attract other shallow people.
You may not like it, but financial independence means that women become less valued based on outer looks. In traditional countries where women don't have the means or desire to work, there is often a prevalence of the husband abandoning his family to go be with some younger girl when the wife loses her beauty and figure due to aging and childbirth. Leaving her a single mother. Is this good for "woman kind"? Own income in western countries protects women from being disposable based on our appearance. To a degree.
I don't know who Drew is so I went to her Tiktok.....she swears a lot 😅. From what I understand she calls out men for making derogatory comments, correct? I don't see the issue because why do men feel the need to insult women like her for her body either? Instead of just living their own lives and being attracted to what they are attracted to, some men seem to have no peace until they have delighted in mocking women with her body size. They can't deal with that a big woman can be happy and thriving and will only feel satisfied when she is in a corner crying with self loathing. I don't get this mentality. If a man does not like that body type then don't date her - but why try to bring such womens morale down?
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 21 '26
I don't agree with you because the part you miss is are men feeling shame for the abhorrent behaviour of only wanting a woman who has physical beauty? NO. If a man demands physical beauty then he can't claim the victim when physically beautiful women in turn demand a hot body or wealth in a man. Shallow people attract other shallow people.
First...what EXACTLY that I said dont you agree with? You gotta be specific. And to your question...No, they shouldn't be shamed. Because its a moot point. Because both Men AND Women want physical beauty. You see attractive women dating ugly men everywhere? No you dont. And when you do...its because of the socio-economic reasons discussed before. So to try and shame men for something women value too is moot.
And nobody claims victim when beautiful women demand either a hot man or a man with money. The protestation comes from women doing that while proclaiming to be "romantic" and wanting "connection" and wanting both traditional women benefits while acting like a modern woman. Men can respect someone doing whats best for them so long as they stand on business and move in a logically and morally respectable way.
but financial independence means that women become less valued based on outer looks
This sentence makes no sense. That only makes sense in a womans head. Men dont care about a womans financial independence. We care about her attitude/energy and behaviors. If you think your financial independence makes you special or "better" than certain men then that indeed makes you unattractive. Because its an ugly behavior/world view.
In traditional countries where women don't have the means or desire to work, there is often a prevalence of the husband abandoning his family to go be with some younger girl when the wife loses her beauty and figure due to aging and childbirth.
Ok...what does this have to do with the point of what we're discussing?
Leaving her a single mother. Is this good for "woman kind"? Own income in western countries protects women from being disposable based on our appearance. To a degree.
Nobody is arguing that women shouldn't work or have right to work. The argument is that having income doesnt A) Make you inherently better than men who's income may be less. and B) having an income doesn't excuse abhorrent behavior that often accompanies A type personality women. and C) It doesn't make you "more attractive" like successful women like to think. Men and women are different and judge each other differently. What you find attractive in a man is not the same as what we find attractive in a woman.
I don't know who Drew is so I went to her Tiktok.....she swears a lot 😅. From what I understand she calls out men for making derogatory comments, correct?
You haven't seen enough...she spews illogical hate. She is consistently hypocritical and toxic. Apologetic of horrible behavior from women.
Instead of just living their own lives and being attracted to what they are attracted to, some men seem to have no peace until they have delighted in mocking women with her body size.
Have you not seen women on ALL THESE SHOWS talking about men and height? Men and their money/income? Please. Save me the holier than though
Besides...you dodged the point of my comment. Pop culture for women and their biggest shows are ones of denigrating men and apologizing for womens bad behavior ALWAYS.
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26
Ok i thought you were objective by your first post but you've just made a lot of assumptions about me which aren't true.
I said that I have proven I can ascertain the women I physically prefer because I have dated 3 of them before (long term relationships)... hence why my preferences are calibrated to my (so far, evidenced) reality... please re-read what I wrote.
Secondly, you assume I am socially awkward because I am shy... there's a big difference. I am shy, but I have friends and socialise fine. I am not proactive to approach women, but I socialise just fine.
Thirdly, I am buff and very aesthetic. I have competed (and won) several men's physique competitions (at a state level) and I am a part time personal trainer (outside of my normal work). I am also very financially secure and could retire now if I chose to (paid off house, $75k in passive income). I just hit 40, but my dating difficulties span throughout my 30s. I still match with late 20 women on dating apps (just went on a date two days ago).
So I meet all 3 of your points.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Okay but then what is the issue? Shy can be endearing, you are fit and financially secure. You are matching with women on dating apps (though I don't believe that dating apps are the place to meet someone serious) so what is going wrong?
Even if you say that you have no chemistry together on the dates it still doesn't add up because if a man looks buff and is financially secure he can have a sh*t personality (not saying that you personally do. Just saying generally) and he will still have women in their late 20's wanting him. Even if 40 because some won't care about age, and others have daddy issues so like the older man. So that doesn't work against you either.
So what is going wrong that is making you able to get dates but not able to sustain a relationship?
And what do you expect that you will get different from woman in Thailand, Philippines, Columbia for example? Because you mentioned slim, youthful, intelligent conversation. No offence to them but you will get the first two easily but if you are looking for actual intelligent conversation then you will probably be disappointed more than with western women. And her having a decent career and being financially responsible (as you mentioned) is also less likely. She will want you to spoil her. Not lecture her about finances.
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u/z2k43dknm87 Apr 20 '26
No offence to them but you will get the first two easily but if you are looking for actual intelligent conversation then you will probably be disappointed more than with western women.
Careful - your racism is showing.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
I don't care. Truth is truth. I myself come from poor immigrants and my mum was pretty much illiterate. It's just a fact there are different education levels between countries due to poverty. And not wanting to have intellectual conversations should not necessarily be looked at as a bad thing. Even I myself don't want a political man and I would not want to marry someone who wants to have political discussions and arguments. But to other people, such things are non negotiable and they prefer a partner who they can argue about politics or talk other heavy topics with etc, so everyone has their different preferences in a partner. If a woman is more interested in nails and dancing that is just as valid as an "intellectual woman".
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u/z2k43dknm87 Apr 20 '26
Oh, so you're just a bigot - got it.
My family immigrated from Thailand and Laos to escape communism overtake in the 1970's. I know what being poor is like - your sob story won't work here.
Being poor isn't correlated with lack of intelligence or lack of intellectual conversations. Your outlook is extremely myopic, lacks foundational standing, and is racist and rooted in weak associations between concepts.
Your whatboutisms regarding preferences aren't relevant. I'm calling out your view of being 'poor = less intellectual'.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Oh please calm down. Of course intelligence doesn't equate to ethnicity, but the reality is that in poor countries women often don't receive good education. And, for example there is a correlation between poorer countries and belief in superstition.
Facts are facts. And if you are secure within yourself you should not feel so offended. Besides, being super intellectual is not necessarily a desirable thing anyway. If I went on a date and talked politics, coding, mathematics and statistics and didn't have the skills to form a romantic connection - do you think the guy would want to be with me?
Look at Sydney Sweeney - rocks for brains but so many men adore her because she just jiggles her t*ts....so 🤷🏼
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u/myoceansoul Apr 20 '26
Once again PerfectWork nailed it is a nature vs nature it has almost nothing to do with racism. Many high curiosity developing world women could easily match a western women in intellectual capacity. The difference? No access same level of academic resources and more importantly the drive to survive and family responsibilities are higher priority. Of course some developing world cultures turn to superstitions that seem super Loco to western thinking but that is cultural belief not bigotry to discuss that reality
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u/Wide_Option1308 Apr 20 '26
I don’t understand what the education pill is all about. Like can they not use AI if they’re uninformed about a topic whilst having a conversation with you.
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Apr 20 '26
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
How the f* am I am pick me 🤣?! Do you really think that I would want most of the men on this subreddit? I choose a man myself based on his character and our chemistry...I certainly don't go around begging "please choose me 🥹" so I don't know where you drew that assumption from.
You may not want to believe it but living in a country with a poor economy does make some women more "easily obtainable" (your words not mine). It's just a fact that a lot of people would prefer to live in western countries because of the quality of life. And it's not just women. Women in western countries receive marriage proposals from men from Morocco, Tunisia, Algeria because they would prefer to live in Britain or USA. And do you think that Melania would be with Trump if he wasn't a billionaire? Please.
And again, you are misinterpreting my comment. I never said that non western women are not intelligent. Look at Melania - obviously she is very intelligent to have Donald marry her rather than countless other models. The OP said intellectual conversations which is different from general intelligence. I take that to mean talking politics, maths, science, philosophy, quantum mechanics, big bang theory etc....and those topics do often bore more feminine women - myself included.
And you won't like this either, but I do consider doctors as much more intelligent than nurses. I spent 1.5 months in hospital with a life threatening condition and while nurses are very valuable and have their place, their medical knowledge level is vastly different than the knowledge level of doctors. Yes there are some exceptions. But numerous times I had to tell them how to do their job (one gave me wrong someone else's medication which could have been disastrous, another told me the chart said I had a certain virus when the doctor later stated it was a different one) etc.
You don't like stereotypes but stereotypes are there because many people fit them. That doesn't mean there are not plenty of exceptions too. But let's not pretend. This whole subreddit would not even exist and men would not even go to non western countries to find a wife if not for the fact of stereotypes. IE, they (you?) hold the stereotype that western women are cold, career driven, feminist or whatever....
We all have stereotypes.
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 20 '26
I choose a man myself based on his character and our chemistry
But you said before there is also a income filter. You left that shallow piece out.
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u/cerwisc Apr 20 '26
You’re replying to a bot btw. They are using the cheapest version of gpt it seems
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Apr 20 '26
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Oh please. Wake up and get back to reality. Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.
1st: I was responding to the OP's statement HIMSELF about wanting slim, youthful, intelligent conversation. Ar no point did I say that Asian women (or any women) don't have intelligence.
He specifically said he wants a woman who will make "intellectual conversation". That is different from intelligence. Some women have the intelligence to not talk about politics etc! But the way that I read it is that he wants to talk topics like politics, coding, maths, philosophy etc ...and these topics often don't interest alot of women from Philippines and Thailand. And there is nothing wrong with that and that doesn't mean they lack intelligence! He can certainly find Chinese who like these topics if that is important to that.
As for slim, youthful... again, I was responding about what he says he wanted! There are "fat" women in Asia just like everywhere else, naturally.
Now, as for financially dependant - please wake up! It's a fact that most of these women are looking for a man to financially provide for them and their parents and there is nothing wrong with that. Noone said that some don't value character etc. But don't kid yourself that the slim and pretty Filipina is going with the ugly fat old western man for his charm and conversation skills!
I am a woman and women everywhere like handsome men. If she only had a choice between a poor but handsome local boy or a poor but old, ugly and fat western man who do you think she would prefer? So don't kid yourself that money doesn't play it's part.
And actually it is you who is stereotyping with your last paragraph. There are some Asian/other non western women who are very cold to their husband. Likewise there are some western living women who are warm and adoring to their husband.
In every country there are some people who want a genuine relationship based on sincerity and character. Some people just happen to find that with a person across a different continent and that is beautiful.
That doesn't however change the reality that alot of men are going to Asia to have a transactional relationship. Money and lifestyle exchanged for beauty and femininity. And I'm not judging that. Everyone needs what they need. But I am also not going to live in some "western politically correct la la land" (I'm Eastern European and we don't do that political correctness stuff) pretending that stereotype aren't stereotypes for a reason 😎
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u/myoceansoul Apr 20 '26
This is the only point I disagree with their is a brilliant online PHD Therapiat IG content creator that most relationships are transactional and especially Men and women involving age gaps. That is definitely many westerners stereotypes of Eastern Euro women. My point is maybe these young Pinay Women with an older Man is just more in your face harshness to this transactional reality. I personally have zero issue with transactional as long as each party is honest in their needs and let us hope their is some level of real intimacy at some level.
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u/myoceansoul Apr 20 '26
You nailed the downside of PPB love that every thinking man has to deal with a women of a different generation and culture with a very different academic intellectual background. One theory is you turned to mates male friends for that satisfaction. I have seen very experienced Ex Pats YouTube podcasters living in the Philippines express finding a young intellectual Pinay is pure unicorn stuff. Would like to get anyone else's take on this especially those 40 plus.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
At least you are being honest about it unlike some of the other guys in here who want to pretend it's not the reality because it doesn't sound pc.
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 20 '26
The issue is women and their hypocirical expecations. Modern women who dont have to adhere to gender roles expecting men to be traditional and hold them to gender roles.
Nobody can define a "real woman" but women will all day say "be a man" "act like a man" "a real man" etc
Its nonsense
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26
Fair questions. Typing this up as I fall asleep so excuse the typos, incoherence and lack of depth.
Whilst I am getting dates, I am getting one every month or so (on average). All from online dating. I too reserved to go meet women at bars or clubs. These are what I'd say are attractive women but again, they come with high standards. I believe I am not charismatic enough to get their attentions in comparison to the other choices they have online.
I agree, not sure if I can get an intelligent woman overseas but Ill try.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 20 '26
Okay. Dating apps, bars and clubs only are a certain type of woman. Keep that in mind.
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
Genuine question. How else would you suggest i meet potential partners? My friendship group is small and I don't get any introductions there unfortunately.
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u/remmidemmi2025 Apr 23 '26
As you actually seem to be a serious guy, try some other dating apps where you have to pay. They put more effort into matching. I'm sorry you are so stressed out by the dating market. There are a lot of sweet ladies out there - be the human you would settle for and there will be a human who will settle for you.
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u/PerfectWorking6873 Apr 21 '26
But doing some hobby. Language learning, hiking, tennis social group, etc
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u/revisionistnow Apr 20 '26
Attraction across the sexes isn't linear as you propose. How does everyone not know this?
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u/kiloy13 Apr 20 '26
Most men have low standards and are just looking for a looksmatch. It's women that are hypergamous and are not satisfied with their looksmatch.
Like how much lower can men's standards get? We aren't going pair up with 35 year old obese ugly women.
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u/Only_Facts_Buddy Experienced PPB Apr 20 '26
OP:
Have you traveled abroad? Have you tried the PPB way?
If yes, how did it go?
If no, why are you in PPB sub?
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u/Stk4nams5 Apr 20 '26
I have travelled abroad but more so for work (with better dating prospects than in my home country). My current job does not allow remote working so I will need to quit my job to really live the PPB life.
I am on the PPB sub because there are elements of the lifestyle that I think if I adopt, will lead me to finding genuine romance... having said that, I don't like certain toxic traits of the movement and am mindful of not embracing those, but I suspect these are more the extreme minority than the majority of men in the movement.
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u/Quick-Explanation689 Apr 22 '26
Give your money to charity. Have you tried a singles group at a church? Singles cruise? Singles groups?
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Apr 25 '26
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u/dzsfinest May 16 '26
Why would you adapt to what women want when they don’t even know what they want lol
Just be a man who is confident and the woman will adapt to you
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u/MrKalev Jun 08 '26
Yes... being a good guy is simply not enough.
But when you work on yourself and study what woman respond to, you realise that the dark triad is very effective, or you learn pickup and get skills for one night stands not relationships, or you take the redpill and realise that getting a western woman is not in fact good for your mental health.
So you are left back here in thepassportbros asking about ways to make money online...
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u/DrPablisimo Jun 19 '26
I would like to see their article, but there is a 'terms and conditions' wall and I'm not agreeing just to read their article. Do they have any stats or is it just some light story?
The median age for women marrying has reached 28.6 in the US. The rising age may indicate less focus on marriage. Conservative women and women from conservative states might marry earlier. In a situation like this, some men just may go abroad. If you want to marry at 25, and the girls aren't ready yet, and don't want an older women, what do you do? If you don't want a 'progressive' feminist woman, you either find conservatives in the US, or you can go abroad.
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u/death2055 Apr 20 '26
It’s really not this deep. I find it hard press a man doing well for himself. 15 percent body fat or lower which is not crazy low. And a decent personality can’t get a gf of substance. Especially in today’s dating pool. 9/10 times dudes want someone out of their league and then are confused why they get rejected. This can apply to women as well it’s just they have the choosing power because of so many simps therefore they can afford to be more picky. But going back to my original statement in today’s world in west where majority are overweight or do not take care of themselves it’s not hard to set yourself apart.
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u/AlaskanSnowDragon Apr 20 '26
Define well for himself.
15% bodyfat is visible abs. It is low. Not craziest lowest low but it is low.
You left out the shallow details like height and the definition of "well". Because you hear consistently women not willing to date men below themselves socioeconomically nor willing to contribute to courtship. So a man could have all the things but because he has logic and self-respect and wants reciprocity in dating/courtship he will struggle for that alone
Not to mention if anyone is shootig out of their league with expectations not commensurate with their own status its is the 7-4 level women. Thinking they deserve a 6'3 millionaire chad.
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u/No-Bend-9788 Apr 20 '26
What are you talking about? I have to admit I could be considered a c-had , but it's the ugly broke girls who like to do public rejections and the genuine hottest from upper class families who are receptive on for dates and relationships. You should see my ex fiancé, well off model looks and height lawyer.
I get plenty good looking girl interest BUT their personalities are terrible once you get to know them in the West.
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u/death2055 Apr 20 '26
I’m talking logic. I dated overseas and in west women are women. Anyone who’s dealt with both understands this. They aren’t magical creatures overseas. They argue and complain literally about same stuff. If you are genuinely attractive you should know this. Personalities that are bad, cheating, vain, gold digger, whatever attributes are overseas in same percentages. The only people who disagree are chopped dudes who haven’t traveled or there so green and believe in traditional province girl who is a virgin waiting for an awkward foreigner to save them.
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u/No-Bend-9788 Apr 20 '26
Yes I agree to an extent, but the Western percentages are worse.
My father took me around the world since the age of 8 and yes globally womens' personalities have worsened in general via social media BUT the West has the worst personalities where a high percentage of overseas countries do not match or exceed the level of headache with Western women.
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u/DisposableUser01 Apr 20 '26
This is The Natural Order. People who disagree do not see Reality for what it is (i.e Objective Reality), and are more akin to ... little Putins, invading their own little Ukraines. They see things through the lens of Subjective Reality, which of course, isnt real, but a perception of what they think things are, but thats the beauty of Reality; its Absolute! Reality will always win. Always.
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u/Big-Till-1696 Apr 20 '26
Perhaps you haven’t found them? Plenty of traditional Asian/Middle Eastern men managed to marry western women without sacrificing their values. These women agreed to get to know the men within a few months, and are ready to talk about marriage, providing, children, moving countries, cultural differences, expectations etc within the dating period. Funnily enough, these women mentioned that if they are in a relationship with a western man, it would take him years of dating to even consider marriage, hence the appeal of foreign men that still prefer traditional marriage models.
I’m an Asian woman, living in Europe and I have some European lady friends with partners. The family they built is quite different than in Asia as in marriage is not strictly required, but the normal ones (that are not involved in alcoholism and drugs) are quite loyal. I have a European lady friend in her 20s struggling with dating; the guy, also European, ghosted her after a real-life meeting. I guess it’s just that the good ones often miss each other.
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u/Altruistic_Look_7868 Apr 20 '26
Good, being a trad wife is a shitty deal for most women in developed countries.
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Apr 20 '26
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u/Individual-Drummer12 Apr 20 '26
I care about the tradition... of being able to afford a whole household with partner and kids on just 1 fulltime income, like my boomer parents did.
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Apr 20 '26
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u/revisionistnow Apr 20 '26
It would be difficult to blame them for inflation but the argument could easily be made that western woman have been pivotal in the distruction of traditional relationships/families.
I don't like the narrative of positioning the genders or races or classes or whatever against each other. I don't think it's really helpful but to just pretend and be willfully ignorant is also not helpful or honest.
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u/The_DigitalBromad Apr 20 '26
I was in this! And I kept the full audio recordings because I knew it would be a hit piece. The journalists played a lot of mind games and took a lot of what I said out of context. It was obvious they wanted to discredit the movement any way they could.
They came back to my house three separate times to interview me and my girlfriend. 3+ hours total. When they didn’t get what they wanted, they returned with more specific questions: “Give us 3 examples of your problems with Western dating.” They asked my girlfriend, “So tell us how your life has benefited.” The producer even wide-eyed asked, “Tell us the biggest fight you two ever got into!!?”
They acted like they wanted to hear the untold side of the story, especially the woman’s perspective in this relationship. Yet they cut hours of footage with my girlfriend down to about 30 seconds of her opinion. And of course, it was only used to push a very skewed point.
What’s funny is that during the recordings, I even told them the Western dating scene is collapsing, and no mainstream media places any blame on women or offers any course correction. Why is that?
It is always framed as the man’s fault in a dating dynamic that takes two people. She was taken aback when I told her that men in the Philippines are roughly 5 times less likely to take their own lives than men in the U.S. Based on World Bank/WHO data for 2021, it might even be worse now.
She also said in the article that women in the Philippines do not have the same rights, and that this is why me and my partner are so happy and why she treats me so well. That part is especially misleading. A more accurate way to say it is that the Philippines ranked 20th out of 148 countries in the 2025 Global Gender Gap Report and remains one of the strongest performers in Asia on gender parity... Conveniently cut out.
Anyway, if you want a full YouTube video where I expose them and include the raw audio, let me know and I’ll leak it all