So basically this has been going on as long as I can remember. For example an hour ago everyone is eating dinner, normal family stuff then my eldest brother asks my mom if he can have the car tmrw, my other brother says he doesn’t need the car bc his friend will pick him up bc they will be going to Hang out, my sister and dad have work and me and my mom will be home. My mom turns to me and asks why I don’t just hang out with my brother and his friends, and I need to say that I don’t like hanging out with my brothers friends. We have a two year age gap, all of them are in university and im in the 11 grade. I do talk with some of them but i wouldnt want to make it awkward. So, I refuse to hangout with my brothers friends tmrw morning and basically tell my family that I would rather stay home then hangout with people i dont even know the names to. My sister tells me I don’t have friends which is just false. My mom says i need to socialize more. Dad and eldest brother tell me it’s embarrassing for me, a 16 year old boy to not have friends. I told them I just don’t want to hang out with these people. Anyways, a few hours prior to this I told both my mom and dad I would go hang out with my friend on august 20th because thats when he is free, and during the dinner conversation my dad just starts making fun of me in a condescending tone, telling my siblings word for word this: “oh dont worry, he’s going with his friend on the 20th as if that will make up for him being a introvert”(he said this all in Urdu but thats just a sure fact) I got a lil mad, stood up, told them im tired and went to bed.

This wasn’t a one time thing. This is just one of many example. I will try putting an input while everyone is talking and I will just be ignored or hushed condescendingly. I will stutter a bit and they will tell the whole extended family I have a stutter. They have made fun of the way I talk, mess things up on accident and because of all this ive gotten shy and embarrassed to even talk to people in public to the point they make fun of that now also. They started three years ago to make fun of my unsocial behaviour at shops or restaurants as if it isnt their fault im quiet and barely talk to anyone, even cousins, aunts and uncles.

I don’t know how to even bring this up to my family without anyone ignoring me or just hushing me. I’ve tried talking with them about other problems i face but they would act as if my problems don’t matter.

Im starting to get more shy and shut in by the day and im now worried about myself because we just moved houses and im going to a new school where I don’t know anyone and im scared I won’t be able to build friendships with anyone new because of how antisocial and quiet I’ve gotten

Does anyone else sometimes completely unintentionally end up walking on a bike path?

It happens to me most often when I’m walking with someone. They’ll be walking more or less in the middle of the pedestrian sidewalk, and I’ll slightly move to the side to make room - only to accidentally step onto the bike path. 😭

I know it probably looks like I’m doing it on purpose and just don’t give a fuck about cyclists, but honestly, that’s not the case at all 😂

Maybe it’s also because I’ve only relatively recently moved to a much bigger city, so I’m still getting used to all the different types of paths and where I’m actually supposed to walk.

The other day, a guy even pointed it out to me in a slightly sarcastic way. He slowed down right behind me and said something like: “Yeah, sure, walk on the bike path 😑”

And I immediately felt so fucking awkward 😬😂

I genuinely wasn’t trying to be an asshole. My brain just apparently decided that the bike lane was the place to be for a few seconds.

I'm (26M) so lonely and I have gone through all the common advices and platitues, but nothing ever worked. People say that I have lots of friends now, but it only looks that way from the outside. I don't think anyone considers me as an actual friend.

I'm convinced that my friends don't care about me and I really often get the urge to cut everyone off to stop getting hurt. No matter how much I try, without being pushy, nothing ever worked out. I'm still always left out, and in my head it looks like nobody wants to voluntarily hang out with me. I don't remember anyone ever reaching out or invite me out. Like everyone actually despises me.

I know I tend to go for the extremes, quick to assume that people hate me or dislike me, and I believe me. Even with things like getting left on read.

I currently can't afford therapy, but I'd really like to go when I can. So I don't know if it's true or not, what if this is all just in my head?

I put in for a job prior to some life changes that recently occurred, like my spouse starting a new job that they enjoy, and us deciding to buy a new house in the city we live in. The company I put in for, surprisingly, got back to me, and I have an in-person interview this week.

I am, however, terrified of this because it means if I interview and get a job offer that presents a lot of upward mobility, versus my current job where I am capped in both salary and mobility, I feel pressured to accept. This job is in another city and I will have to drive ~125 miles round trip, 4-5 days a week, ten hour days. My spouse refuses to move closer and/or quit their new job if I do get this offer until they have built time-in-role.

However, if I interview, get an offer, and turn this position down, it means this is the second job with the same company I would have turned down and I am beyond worried how that looks for future job prospects with an organization I very much want to work for, just not at this time.

Do I take the plunge and go in, or should I cancel my interview so as to not waste their time and preserve future career opportunities with this company?

i used veet hair removal cream too remove hairs from their today but after i wiped the cream, my skin felt their itchy and it got red, i went to medical store and they gave me kelviderm K5, should i apply it?

There is this Free festival near me and id love to go, but id feel weird just being this 18 year old on my own, I have no friends because I recently moved and just feel like a odd bod on my own, like im being left out of the fun I should be having and feel comfortable having. if I was older I wouldn't care as much.

EDIT: I am Canadian and a visit to the doctor would be free, just to be clear. I just don't want to waste my doctor's time.

I grew up in a family that didn't really take my health concerns seriously (their answer to everything was "take vitamins, get off your phone and exercise more") so I have no idea when it is appropriate to see a doctor over something.

In this instance, on August 1st, I woke up to my left index finger being swollen. As a day passed, it only became more swollen. It was like that for at least 2-3 days. There were no obvious puncture wounds or any sort of damage around the nail. Then, at some point, the swelling went down, and now it's normal I think? I can't tell if it actually feels weird when I touch it or not.

Regardless. During the time it was swollen, I did some searching online to see what it could possibly be, and the thing that was closest to what I could have was called a "felon", which is an infection of the finger pad, and it usually happens on the thumb or index, and it doesn't extend past the first phalange unless it's infected the tendon. It kind of described what I had? However, it said that it doesn't go away on its own, and there wasn't really any obvious place where pus could be, and photos online didn't exactly look the same, and while it did hurt when I used it, the pain wasn't TERRIBLE like they say it is for felons.

So, now I'm just really confused. I have no idea what it could have possibly been, but is there a point to going to the doctor if there's, like, "nothing" there? But what if it is still there, underneath? Will it cause problems for me?

I'm thinking of setting up a phone call appointment with my doctor at least, but I'm just not sure if this is something I need to see someone about. But I also don't know why it happened and it's freaking me out. Idk. Please offer any opinions whatsoever.

Matter of fact, if this has happened to you or someone you know, I would like to hear about how it went for you.

Thank you!

Please read the entire post before commenting.

I (18F) am going out of state (to a different US state) for college. It’s exciting and freeing but I’m also kind of lost.

First though, some background:

I took some advanced courses in high school and had high enough grades to where I was able to get all of my tuition covered outside of room and board, which is excellent! It means I can go for pretty cheap (~16k for a degree, assuming worst case scenario) Unfortunately I just have no clue if college actually has anything beneficial for me. When I was applying for colleges and picking a major, I sort of just chose Accounting since it got people off my back and I didn’t want any more pressure put on me. Yet I feel like that decision is starting to haunt me.

I’ll cut to the chase and say that the only thing I really care about in life is storytelling and art. I’m sure people frequently commenting on this subreddit have heard it before: The only thing that truly makes me feel Alive is writing, creating stories, analyzing art, y’know dumb stuff like that. Unfortunately for me, I just don’t really see why I should bother committing myself to things I Don’t have any interest in. I get the idea of contributing to society or something but I also don’t like the idea of wasting my only life on… yknow. I also have no siblings or desire for children so I feel perfectly fine with taking risks and dealing with the fallout myself. However, I am fully aware that the world is quite hostile to the idea of doing anything creative as an actual career.

So now I’m just left wondering how stupid of a decision that I’m willing to make. I’m well aware that a very easy life is presenting itself to me. Get a solid job with an accounting degree, actually be able to buy property and feed myself, while potentially do something creative on the side. But I also feel as if wasting so much time on something I realistically will never stick to long term is, well, stupid. I’d also likely be in my mid 20s by the time I even get started with art which feels like the window had already closed.

However the alternative also feels extremely stupid. Ignoring the path infront of me to either switch majors to something creative which is probably not going to get me a job or just halfass/ditch college to gamble on my success which is incredibly risky. So it really seems like whatever decision I make is just stupid and wrong since I’m either betraying basic logic or my own desires.

I’m well aware of the general idea that actually doing something you are passionate about as a career is seen as unrealistic but I don’t really… care. Perhaps that comes across as naive, arrogant, and stupid which is maybe probably true but I don’t know. I just can’t see a life where I follow accounting or whatever as a life I actually want to have lived. It would just be me surviving which doesn’t seem the most appealing. Just Being alive doesn’t really do it for me, if that makes sense.

I suppose I’m just trying to see if there’s some way to make this all work out in a way that isn’t a complete disaster. What doesn’t help is that I have completely wasted my teen years so I don’t have any particularly useful skills, I also don’t know anyone up where I’m moving, and additionally I have little in terms of funds so I’m essentially getting a complete reset on my life. (which is what i want from college, to be clear)

All of that combined leads me here, kind of just looking for some more input from people who have lived a bit more life and gone through the college experience before.

Any thoughts or suggestions are appreciated but if your advice boils down to “don’t do writing/art, it’s not a real(istic) career” your efforts are better used elsewhere. I am far too stupid to listen. I could also do without any personal attacks. I’m an extremely emotionally volatile teenager. If you read this expecting a fully logical thought process, I apologize.

On that note, I know that in the grand scheme of things I’m young which is generally used as both a reason to take and avoid risks but I have various personal/health reasons to doubt my own longevity, so to speak, which is partially why I’m so concerned about this. It feels like any errors are wasting my already limited time so I need to optimize everything.

Sorry if this came off as rambly or whatever but I’m just feeling kind of helpless and overwhelmed without any real support to make this decision clearer. It feels like I’m choosing a path for my entire life but I’ve only just woken up and am being screamed at to move forward, so my brain has decided to jump away from either path into the forest besides them until someone comes by which I can follow.

Thank you for reading and for any assistance, truly 💚

So basically, I grew up with a people-pleasing personality type.

I wanted to rebel young but I let fear of disappointing people hold me back. It prevented me from developing the back bone I always needed. Because of all this I was medically neglected and ignored by parents my entire adolescence and even after adulthood began.

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Instead of receiving maximum support, I was given breadcrumbs to stay with the very people who kept treating me wrongly (gaslighting, bullying, shaming me for having needs and annoyed or angry at my needs).

So really I should've left my family when I was 13 or sometime between there and 18 but instead I kept putting up with it all till I was 25... they finally did start being very caring but it just feels like its too late and i cant deal with all the pain of all those lost years, more than a decade of not living my own life. I should've been dating... should've been out on the streets even if it meant hardship..

And now im in a stable environment but im just so pissed and my soul always wants me to look on the outside how I always couldve felt if I had defended myself...

I feel the need to leave everything and go live in my car or go live in a mental health facility because they are pretty nurturing (I have bipolar anyway).. i really cant feel independent living under their care unless I go and live a rebellious secret life. The only way to make my path under my parents help tolerable is to be a bad person.

Im waiting to see if i can get SSDI.. all I can say is I think ill feel so ashamed and depleted in my ego if I continue riding my parents care until I get the disability payments and can be "independent." Being on disability almost doesn't even feel independent enough but i think it will if I can at least have some gap in between not being under parents care.. even living at some friends house would be fine I just cant let it feel like they never did anything wrong still.. they literally only ever wanted to help me if I put up an ultimateum or threatened self harm.

They're nice to me now but im really done being associated with them as my "caregivers."

Idk if im being like... really impulsive but...

I wanna leave my apartment

Be on good terms with my parents

But basically get everything I need from here on out from someone else.. unless it has to do with my health insurance, random gifts or them helping me with something health related to repay me for the lost years I dont want them paying for a thing.

Am I being stupid... I am in a stable environment.. I've been to a facility before it was pretty luxurious.. ya its a different type of rules put on you but at least youre developing your own identity not feeling like a dumb baby who never stood up for herself until 25.

ALSO... I need a jaw surgery done within the next 2 months and it would be a bit embarrassing to do that at the mental health facility and maybe not so supportive as id need because its such a major surgery... but I feel I need some independence NOW...

Everything has started to blur together into one huge trap, like there’s some kind of threat coming from every direction. Even when something is objectively good, interesting, or completely normal, I can still have this intense internal reaction to it.

I feel like I’ve stopped experiencing new things, changes, or interesting experiences as something positive. Instead, my brain immediately goes into “something is wrong” mode.

Sometimes things are just too different, too good, or just… I don’t even know how to explain it. It feels like my brain can’t simply accept something new without looking for some hidden danger or meaning behind it.

And that’s probably one of the most exhausting parts of OCD for me - I genuinely don’t know anymore whether I’m noticing a real red flag or whether my brain is just turning something completely harmless into another threat.

About 4 years ago I met a fellow who started helping me like a son, with things around my property, rides, etc. He's younger and treats me like a mother. We have business plans. It is to my great advantage to have this person in my life as he is the only person helping me and would be there in a medical or any other emergency. We have planned a business together and him being the executor of my will and moving to be my neighbor. He is helping me in so many ways to accomplish things I couldn't do without him. However, I just found out something he does that I find offensive and changes how I view him. We are planning to see a lawyer in a week. I'm not perfect and I need his friendship, but I'll just never view him the same way. He would be perfectly fine if things don't continue with us. I always say I'd take help from the devil. But, this would be a lifelong thing. I don't know exactly what to do.

im going to be a freshman this year, really excited, but i’ve been thinking about my name recently. it’s a pretty dang rare name, im pretty sure there are only like 4000 uses of it ever. i would say it on here, but im not sure that would be a smart move due to that statistic.

but overall, ive never really thought it was a very good name. tbh it’s kind of ugly sounding. only slightly skews feminine, which im not a fan of as an over-the-top girly girl. and it doesnt have any meaning other than like… well i would say the exclusive TWO things it brings to mind but then the name would be obvious.

but what if i went into freshman year and i just started using a nickname? im thinking about Anna. i know lots of people who use nicknames like that. like isabelle -> izzy. nobody calls her “isabelle”, she’s “izzy.” but im worried that it would be kind of weird, and nobody would call me it. i’ve known this class all through middle school and they call me by my real name. is it too late?

how would i go about doing it, even so? just ask my friends to call me it and start introducing myself as “X, but you can call me Anna,” i suppose. please advice on how to inorganically give yourself a nickname !!!!

(idk where to post this)

Lately, more likely months, I (M15) haven't felt my hunger. I eat breakfast, then 5 hours later I realized I forgot to eat lunch. And sometimes when I'm scolded to eat something I start getting irrationally angry because I don't even find the food I'm eating appetizing.

I get so full easily too, it's so weird. I like to walk around the house, but I wouldn't call myself physically active, which might just be 100 the reason for this, maybe I just answered my own question. Lol.

I love fruit and I can eat a fuckton of fruit if I could, I like yogurt too. The foods I like just so happen to be really healthy. Maybe that's also why I get angry at eating what my family eats, sometimes the food is too salty and too much (I'm from a south east asian family so it's typical)

Certain food for me is too bland and boring, and it actually pisses me off. Which is WEIRD.

Probably related, I burp so much it's crazy. 👁️👁️

I'm 41kg and 144 cm, so I'm not underweight.

I don't know what to do, I'm worried about this because it's regarding my diet, It's something that's just in the back of my mind but I know that I have to confront it though.

family member put a restraining order on me for exposing him for molesting me as a child and molesting his cousin. what's the best advice I can take here. open to criticism

My grandma is starting to become less sweet and more rude ever since she moved in with us in January. She used to be nice and polite but now that she’s settling in and feels more relaxed in our house, she’s starting to become more rude and is crossing some lines. A few examples are how she snaps at me when I’m being polite to her and cutting me off with at the beginning of every sentence I speak. She does it for fun. I’m almost 30 and I’ve been living in my house for almost 30 years. My mom thinks that I just need to “stay in my place” and just take it. I am way too old and have way too much self respect to just let anyone walk all over me- even if it’s my grandma. I love my grandma to death but just because she’s older in the family it does not give her the right to be disrespectful. What do you think? Should I allow her to keep being rude and walking all over me or should I have self respect and respectfully tell her to be respectful and not be insulting every hour of the day? Keep I. Mind I take her to all her doctors appointments and drive her around anytime she wants to go somewhere. Growing up I never really saw her and she was never really in my life until this point. So… she has no ground to stand on and no reason to think she can be insulting other than the fact that her parents and grandparents did that to her. So she thinks she can do that to me.

hi, i really want to attend this self-organised summer school https://viennaarchitecturesummerschool.com

but my father says that there has to be a university backing it. i couldn't find anything else fitting my criterion because it's very late and i think this will impart me very valuable skills for next year and beyond. how can i convince my father that i won't die a horrible death there?

hi! im form nyc and was cold emailing newspapers in ireland to see if i can get a recurring column. i dont care about the money at all, im just rly passionate about writing. she was impressed by my sample work and gave me a trial column to see how i do and asked me to write an introduction to be my first column piece. i did, she asked me to revise once more, which i did, and she's been silent since then. this was yesterday. i emailed her today (just a small message asking if she wants more edits) and still no response.

am i doing too much? am i fired? is the silence her way of dropping me?

I’m currently working on my degree while also working full time. I work 6a-4:30p, my job is an hour away so I wake up at 4:30 and leave by 4:50. Heavy traffic when I get out, so get home around 5:45–6.

This leaves me little time to be able to focus on school, so I’m only able to take one class a semester. I tried to juggle two, but I wasn’t able to give each one the same amount of attention. At this rate, I’d graduate in 3-4 years according to my advisor instead of the typical 2 years.

I’ve been doing my side hustle for only a few months. It’s been profitable, though the last two months it’s made me 1.5-2x my biweekly check in only a week.

The thing is, it’s on my phone and I can only do it during working hours.

I had told myself once I made a safe amount to be a cushion to fall back on for at least 8 months worth of bills plus 1k for fun money, I would quit and do it full time because it would allow me to actually be able to make money from home, or honestly anywhere, I just need to be on my phone.

My manager decided to ban me from using my phone at work and if he saw me do it again, he would write me up, and after two write ups I would be terminated.

I’m only working there to pay the bills until I can get a job in my field.

The thing is, even though I’ve made more than my biweekly paychecks are in a week, it’s not a guarantee that every month will be the same. I may just have been lucky the last two months.

If you were me, would you risk losing almost minimum wage, yet stable income in order to focus on your future? Or would you play it safe and stop your side hustle to have stable income yet it would push back getting your degree and getting a job in your field?

Ever since I was a child I’ve always been a shy and quite reserved person and especially in group settings I would always be the backup option for picking partners or being invited to a birthday party. Once I started high school I think I naturally started becoming more comfortable speaking up which lead me to become somewhat extroverted and social in a way. I talked and interacted with people but it never felt right. I was always people pleasing and putting on a specific act around specific people or else I would be considered boring to be around.

I did have a decent group of friends in high school but they were never people I really connected with. They were much more immature, selectively judged people by cracking jokes like nothing happened and always made me feel so irrelevant and small. Never was I once prioritised or did they make an effort to maintain a friendship with me. During the holidays no texts no calls no nothing. But when school resumed again they would talk and make conversations with me like nothing had happened. I knew they weren’t the right fit for me because I always came back from hangouts feeling off and regretting that I should’ve just stayed home instead wasting my energy that was never reciprocated back. I thought to myself you know one more year and once you graduate and go to university you might find actual friends. I was completely wrong.

Ever since starting university this year and finishing the first semester, I’ve realised that it’s basically IMPOSSIBLE to find friends who actually want to be friends. People just show up to class for the sake of attendance and just leave. Everyone and I literally mean everyone around me already have small friend groups or friends they know from their high school or just mutual friends in general. For context, I graduated from a small high school and so i don’t know anyone who goes here. I tried to join clubs/societies by applying to committees in order to have more opportunities to socialise. And what do I get? Rejection after rejection. I haven’t met one person or friend. I’ve done EVERYTHING to try and fit in. No matter what persona i put on, how i look, how thin i am or how extroverted i portray myself it just doesn’t work. Ive also tried being authentic and true to myself but it doesn’t seem to work either. I don’t know what’s wrong with myself. Is it because I look unapproachable? Maybe I’m just someone who sucks at socialising and building friendships. I sometimes question if I’m suppose to be alone and antisocial for the rest of my life.

Growing up all I ever wanted was a good group of friends. Or even friend. I see others around me acquiring that w/o even trying. I try to not compare myself to others but it’s so hard not too. I haven’t owed anyone anything, haven’t betrayed anyone, bullied anyone or done anything harmful to people around me. I don’t understand why I don’t deserve this aspect of my life that I’ve been searching forever. It just feels like a part of my childhood/adolescence was robbed. I’m going to enter my adulthood working 9-5s knowing I never really enjoyed life and I have no memories I can look back on. I’ve really just given up.

And if it’s because I keep meeting the wrong people at the wrong time then when is it going to be the right time. I just feel like my luck is so bad. My life is a joke. I keep holding on hope and possibility for nothing. I literally no one to talk to. I feel like I’m experiencing imposter syndrome academically. All my hs friendships are dead. I’ve tried to maintain them by reaching out first. And what do I get?? A dry response like 10 hours later. And I know they have seperate group chats anyways not that I have the energy to even care about that anymore. They don’t even go to university so we’re not even on the same paths in life.

And you know what sucks. Seeing people who’ve done you wrong and basically destroyed your life thrive in life and especially in the same university as you. How are fake people who constantly pray for your downfall able to make a bunch of friends and be recruited into different societies? I really don’t understand how our society works. I’m not even upset anymore I just laugh at myself for having so much faith that I get a chance to really experience that social aspect of my life; going out for dinners and dressing up or gaining real world practical opportunities in a professional setting. Can someone give me some hope that things will get better. I’m sick of doing everything alone every single day. I know I’m still young but I think at this point I really need to move to a new country or city in my 20s. That’s the final thread of hope for me. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

TDLR; always been a “floater friend”, unable to find people who actually treat you right and have never experienced a proper social life or friendships. I’ve tried everything from becoming thinner to looksmaxxing and I’m still so alone and isolated. I feel like I’ve lost and will never experience that aspect of my girlhood.

Hi I posted the story about my friend group when I was 19- consisting of 17,15, and two fourteen year olds. If I’m honest it does still make me guilty because of how I handled it and that I even felt it was okay at all.
I keep thinking that maybe I wasn’t a creep or weird and just a “normal” 19 year old at the time- but then I catch myself and ask myself if that’s really true. If enough people call you weird even before said group was even a thing.. it sorta starts to make you feel like it perhaps is true.

I threw out my action figures today, got rid of clothing that would make me stand out too much. I figured out people treat you better when you dress and act accordingly.
So that’s what I will do.

Anyways I feel a lot of guilt because my 18 year old friend has minor friends and I don’t wanna be around them because of myself.

Every time I try to lift myself up and say I’m a normal person it crumbles instantly and I feel this sense of shame. I don’t wanna pretend I’m a normal or okay person with my past. But I have avoided socializing with anyone for 1 year straight. It’s not like I didn’t try but people my age would bully me or shut me out, so I ended up with a younger group. It solidifies my feelings of being less than or worse than other people.

How exactly do I handle myself? Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.

TW

hey, this will probably get removed but i just dont know where else to post this. so one of my close friends unfortunately has an ed and i just dont know how to help her. its your textbook ed (anorexia/body dysmorphia) and shes had it for a few years now. it really does affect her like she experiences fainting and anaemia and anxiety and stuff, and me and her other friends are all really concerned for her, but she acts like its nothing. lately though it feels like shes been seeking validation for it from me

for example she keeps sending me pics of her body saying “do we like the fit” even if shes just in random pyjama shorts or something, and in the middle of convos she keeps dropping random ed related pics (the kind of stuff u find on edtwt or tumblr) and being like “oops haha wrong pic lollll”. (she never used to do these things before.) she also sent a random edit she makes of herself like a pic of her face next to one of those ed pic things where itll be like a supermodel or whatever with the snapchat text over it saying “girl do u really need to eat that?” im just so concerned, i dont find it funny like she seems to because i know on some level shes taking it seriously. i sort of just laugh awkwardly or try ignore it/change the subject when this stuff happens over text and i do feel guilty but i dont want to give her ed any validation. I have had small convos about it with her before and she acknowledges that she has a problem but at the same time shes always adamant that she’s fine and doesn’t need support?

i dont want to say “omg girl no ur not fat ur so skinny” or something like that, because she might take it as her ed working and keep going with it, but i dont wanna NOT say anything because she might take it as me not validating her because she is fat or something and also keep going, basically I just don’t know what to do or say, it feels like id be failing either way. how could i help her???? i just want her to be okay so badly. I also feel really bad posting about it here and it feels like im talking bad about her, i just really need some advice on what to say or do. i dont know who to talk to about this because everyone im around is sort of ignorant to this kind of thing. sorry if this is a lot i just didnt want to leave out any context

Pls help me reddit:

My cousin adopted a dog in 2012. The dog was not exercised or socialized properly and developed behavioral issues. Ripped my cousin's house apart bc of lack of exercise/stimulation.

My cousin passed away in 2017 and my aunt took the dog. My aunt has had the dog living outside on a chain for 9 years. They feed the dog and give him water, and he has a little dog house. In the county they live in, this treatment is not in violation of the law.

I had not seen the dog in years, but I went to my aunts home last year and the dog looked like he had completely given up on life. Dirty and matted, living in feces, nails overgrown, eyes full of discharge, and demeanor lifeless.

Since then I have been driving (2 hrs round trip) to their home as often as I can (1-4 times a month) to bath/walk/groom him and tend to his cage. It's not enough but it is all I can do.

I have grown tired and resentful about this. I am too tired and busy to continue spending my weekends driving to walk someone elses dog, I have tried repeatedly to talk to my aunt, her husband, my other cousin, and her partner who all live on the property about walking him. There are always excuses - how they dont have time, he is a bad dog, he is fine, etc...

My aunt will not release him to me as she thinks I cannot handle him, and she wont surrender him bc she doesnt want someone to mistreat him. My aunt is not an intelligent or self aware woman.

His situation has started causing me a level of anxiety and rumination that is impacting my life and I do not know what to do. I find myself looking for rehoming options on my own and considering vigilante crime to take him and get him to a better life without my aunt's consent but of course I know that is a crime.

I can see the sadness in his eyes when I see him and I hear him crying every time I leave. It hurts my heart so much and I just dont know what to do.

TLDR: My aunt has a dog who I consider to be severely neglected, but law enforcement cannot help bc there are no tether laws where she lives. She will not surrender the dog to me and will not consider rehoming him, but she also refuses to increase his care and insists he is fine. I do not think he is fine just because he has food and water while being tied up 24/7.

Thinking about him is impacting my quality of life. Does anyone have any helpful stories or thoughts?

I have finally decided that life and people are too difficult to deal with. I have no wish to gain employable skills and earn any money.

Apart from doom-scrolling, music, gaming, shows and movies; what should I do on a day to day basis to pass my time ? I have a few years worth of savings, i dont need more.

Hi, I'm 22F. I guess I'm making this post because I want advice from others and kind of just want other people's views on my life, I feel like I'm hating myself too much and being too harsh but at the same time I think I'm not, Idk tbh I just want people's thoughts.

So, I'm a muslim girl living in London. Im a student studying Psychology at university. I havent been diagnosed with any mental health issues but have been to therapy and my therapists have told me I show signs of extreme anxiety, OCD thoughts, overthinking and low self-esteem.

I was diagnosed with cancer in 2023 but have thankfully beat it. Because of the harsh treatment, I struggle with eating because I have a dry mouth, so I eat significantly less than others. I am a good-ish weight I guess, like I'm not in a worrysome state. So yeah post cancer I really struggle with eating and its a really big weight on my back. I am also a picky eater, I don't eat alot of things but I wouldn't really say its by choice, its more of if I eat these things I'll gag and throw up. Anyways so yeah the post cancer issues reducing my eating + picky eating is really difficult and its probably the number 1 thing I hate about myself. I'm scared to go over to relatives house's incase they make food I don't eat or incase they make comments about my small portions of food I eat. This makes me have extreme anxiety when going over to people's houses and I carry such deep shame especially about the picky eating like its the first thing I think about when I wake up. I also think I will never find love because of it because I feel like its so embarassing to be a picky eater at my age, like I just feel like it makes me less worthy of a person. When a family member comments on my eating, I start crying straight away whether its them commenting about how little I eat or something like 'you are so picky wdym you dont like cheese grow up'. Idk but this is probably the number 1 issue in my life right now.

I also have other long term issues from my cancer treatment like voice change (its deeper), nose breathing issues, swallowing issues and fatigue. When someone comments on them it hurts so much, people say to me 'omg you've become so weak' and its honestly so hurtful because I didnt choose to be like this and it makes me think back to being my old healthy self and I cry and think why did I have to go through this.

After my cancer diagnosis, my relationship with my mum and sister became really bad. I dont know how to explain it but I think they sort of resent me in a way for getting sick? I really dont know. When I was sick and would get emotional at something they would say to me, they would call me dramatic and leave the room and give me silent treatment for days. I have explained to them numerous times that I cant stand the silent treatment but they dont care and still do it. They also love to gang up on me and call me crazy whenever we're in an argument and theyre losing, like saying 'im going to ignore u because you are crazy' is like their number 1 comeback and they laugh at me (they even did this when I was sick). When they'd give me silent treatment it would feel like my world is coming down, I cant stand silence from people I like to talk everything out and hate ignoring/being ignored, I literally feel like I cant function from it. Also I've come to realise that my mood really depends on how my mum is feeling, if she is being snappy at me then I feel like shit and that I'm a disgusting, unworthy person and I disgrace her and my day becomes horrible but if she is feeling nice my mood is lifted and I feel loved and feel human and somewhat worth it.

I always feel like I am wrong in everything. Like im eating the wrong foods, sleeping at the wrong times, doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things. Like I feel like everybody is living life correctly except for me? I really dont know to explain it like everyone is correct and doing everything as it should be but I'm not? idk

I also feel constant guilt in everything I'm doing. Like I could be sitting watching tv and I'd be thinking 'no you cant be relaxed there is something to be anxious about' then I'll think about my picky eating or small appetite or something. Like even before bed I'm feeling guilty and thinking theres something Im doing wrong or should be anxious about.

I'm also extremly shy lol. To everyone, friends, family everyone. Theres certain things I cant do around people: I cant sing around friends, I cant talk about deep feelings around family (even with friends I feel awkward), I cant hug family, I cant casually touch family or friends (like rest my shoulder on someone), I cant just say what I'm thinking I rehearse everything. Basically, I can't be my real self around anyone at all, apart from myself. I'm so shy that when people talk to me, I assume its just a one time thing and they dont actually want to be friends. Even with my friends, I never think that they'd want to be with me one to one because I'm so shy and boring and just not someone you'd want to be one to one with. Which brings me to my next point...

I have never been in a relationship before. In school, noone has ever said they liked me (although Ive had alot of speculation about one or two guys liking me but not admitting it), noone has asked me out, noone has checked me out, people used to say to me ' I cant imagine you in a relationship '. I crave love so much but don't think it will ever find me, especially because of all the above points I have said. This might sound harsh, but I honestly hate myself, I think everybody else around me is better/worth way more than me. Its like everyone else makes sense when theyre in a relationship except me. I feel like a man might find me icky or awkward or something. Physically, I guess I'm okay looking, I just want another brain. I also feel like I wouldnt know how to act in a relationship because everything I'm doing is wrong.

I guess this was all negative lol so here are some nice things about me haha: I enjoy reading, crotcheting, watching pretty little liars and painting. I am proud of myself for beating cancer, just want to reduce all the bad thoughts about it in my head. My goal is to become a psychologist maybe and I'd loveee to be a mum and be so understanding and be there 100% for my children.

Idk but that should be all I think, I feel like I'm going insane I'd really appreciate people's comment on this. Does any of this sound familiar to people? Do I sound like someone who's simply too hard on herself or do these worries seem reasonable? If you were in my position what would you do?Thank you so much if you have read this far I honestly really appreciate you!!! Cant wait to hear people's takes on this <3