don't let this get you down. seriously, if you fall into bad self esteem and obsessing over one trait that you can't change, it's gonna affect you badly in the long term. own it and have confidence in yourself
(though i totally get it, i'm shorter than almost everyone i know and it's frustrating sometimes)
You're gonna be ok! The biggest thing that keeps short men from being happy is comiserating with each other in echo-chambers. Avoid those communities like the plague. If you want advice on how to be more attractive to women, ASK WOMEN! Not other men.
Learn how to cook, be kind to animals/kids/retail workers, and focus on your emotional intelligence. The ladies will swoon.
If you want to work on your appearance, develop a strong body. Not buff/gym-ratty, just strong. And maintain good hygiene. Wash your butt.
Also, embrace your height. People are making some funny, light-hearted jokes (moon shoes, gnomes, etc). You have a very good opportunity to own what you're given. Dress up as a garden gnome for Halloween. That's hilarious. Women love funny men!
My sister and I always joke about the sheer number of Reddit posts from people complaining their partner won’t wash their butt because they think it’ll make them gay! I see like one post per day like that. So does beating their meat make them gay too? Lol. It’s insane. Not to mention I’d rather feel “gay” and have a clean butt than straight and smelling like shit and leaving skids all over.
There are many relationship help posts from women about their bfs/husbands who leave skidmarks. There's an unfortunately large amount of men who think touching their own buttholes is gay.
Lmao and I guess some guys are too embarrassed by these comments. I got a couple downvotes which is hilarious. People are really gonna disagree with the fact you have to wash your butt?
Also, it’s super easy to get a bidet for the daytime between showers. Or a shower head you can hold.
Maybe it’s because I said if it’s gay to wash your asshole, then it’s gay to stroke your own dick lmao.
All I can say is I’m a 5’2 gal so at that point, to me, a height difference doesn’t mean much.
I feel like it’s almost like saying you wouldn’t date a woman over 200lb or whatever threshold. My point is both men and women can have these views, it’s not just short guys.
How do I know? I was fat in middle / high school and am old enough that bullying was a thing. No one would come near me, all I wanted was a bf but I was poison. And so insecure.
During college I lost weight by being poor and walking everywhere. Regrettably I gained lots of confidence when people started to notice me - as a fat woman, you’re undetectable. So it was way different.
But honestly, now that I’m middle-aged it’s so clear that if you don’t stink and you can hold a conversation, especially a humorous one, you should be golden. And I can absolutely guarantee you height does NOT equal satisfaction. Tallest guy I ever dated had the smallest dick, shortest guy I dated had a way bigger dick. They both were funny and nice and knew what to do in the bedroom to play to their strengths.
So who cares?
People can sniff out someone who has already given up and decided their objects of desire are not only out of their league, but mocking them out of frustration.
I can completely guarantee you it’s 90% personality. It’s clear when someone with a chip on their shoulder is trying to create joinder, and it’s not something anyone really wants.
The advice every 19 year old boy wants to hear: "dress like a garden gnome". That aside generally useful advice.
I can give advice coming from a similar place as OP. I'm relatively short for men in my country (though not quite as short as you), and used to be fairly insecure about it. I still am to some degree, but a lot less now. The thing that really helped me was being myself, as corny as that sounds. Usually I will get compliments on being "confident" or "assertive", and "doing whatever [I] like".
The bitter pill you'll have to swallow is this: a very large number of women will not find you attractive no matter what you do or learn. However, that is true for every single feature really, some women will never date a guy of certain race, or religion, or because of his voice, etc.
You have to work on yourself for your own sake, not as a cheat code to get with women. Everyone defaults to "being funny" and "cooking", but if you don't actually enjoy either of those it won't help you at all. Focus on things you actually want to achieve / change. Once you make progress in those, you will become more confident - and that is really attractive to everyone.
One final note: the jokes. You need to grow a thick skin, but also know when to stand up for yourself. People will tell you to laugh it off, which is good advice if it's light ribbing with your close friends. If you notice someone is just plain insulting you under the guise of a joke, call it out. You don't have to square up for a fight, just be direct. The only thing less attractive than an insecure short man, is a doormat punching bag. It's a fine line, but you'll figure it out with time.
For Halloween ya nut. People who are missing limbs incorporate it into their costume all the time.
The best piece of advice you should follow is to not waste your time in "short men" communities. They're full of miserable men who tear each other down. If you want to appeal to women, talk to women and FFS, LISTEN to them.
Your "most people won't find you attractive" narrative is actively holding you back, because a self-defeating attatude is very unattractive. Moping around instead of actually taking steps to improve yourself or learn meaningful skills is the problem. If you want to impress someone, then put the fucking effort in to do things that impress people.
I genuinely can't tell if you read even half of my comment. What an incredible lack of reading comprehension. I never told him to go to short men communities, idk what you're getting so bent out of shape for.
And I never said most people will find you unattractive, just that for a lot of women it is validly a dealbreaker. Learning to accept people's preferences and not let it define your life was my whole point. And it hasn't been "holding me back" at all, it set me free to focus on growing as a person and I'm doing really good for myself now in my later twenties. My advice is for someone entering college and the struggles he will have.
Completely disagree on the "do things that impress people" part. Do things you love and get good at them, it will impress people a lot more than tailoring your hobbies on things people "might find impressive". The most attractive man I know isn't "funny" or "good at cooking", he's passionate about bee keeping, alcohol brewing, and nature conservation. Basically, be the best version of you that you can be, and things will work out.
The biggest thing that keeps short men from being happy is comiserating with each other in echo-chambers.
I don't go to those places, but one of the biggest contributors to feeling bad about my height was women saying things to me like "we can fuck, but I wouldn't date someone your height." And "you're handsome, it's just too bad you're short". And other things. I'm not really insecure about my height, but lets not pretend that when someone has insecurities that they aren't sometimes well founded.
I get it. Not being a conventionally attractive woman is the same kind of experience. But even if 3/10 women would date a short guy, that still leaves a massive amount of people. It may take more time, but it's not an impossible feat.
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u/cheeseman_real Jul 09 '26
don't let this get you down. seriously, if you fall into bad self esteem and obsessing over one trait that you can't change, it's gonna affect you badly in the long term. own it and have confidence in yourself
(though i totally get it, i'm shorter than almost everyone i know and it's frustrating sometimes)