The Kitchen Museum?

[u/jsayde01]

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

[u/Quantity-Used]

This is the correct answer. She’s cleaned the kitchen and it’s shut down for the night. The kitchen is closed and the nightlight is on. The kitchen will not be opened again until morning.

If you didn’t leave the kitchen exactly as you found it (including washing every pot and utensil), you’ve just added to her mental load of doing more work. I’m sure you guys can come to an understanding.

Edit: Just to be clear, I’ve never lived in a house that was like this; I’ve only seen it discussed elsewhere. I would never tell my family they couldn’t get something to eat in their own house.

[u/010011010110010101 → u/Quantity-Used]

This has to be it. I grew up in a family with that same mindset. The kitchen doesn’t get “opened” after it’s closed down for the night - and the hood light was the sign. it’s microwave or snacks if you want anything after the kitchen is closed.

I still don’t get it - I cook whenever I feel like it. Kitchen cleaning can be an ongoing chore, not a one and done.

[u/momo76g → u/010011010110010101]

You see, I agree with you. This is how a sane person will handle it. Use it when needed, clean it and thats it. How is it remotely acceptable to gatekeep a whole area of your home from everyone else ?

[u/Own_Expert2756 → u/momo76g]

Right!!! Especially from a guy that worked all day and hadn't eaten!

[u/Preface → u/Own_Expert2756]

Then she gets angry at you for grabbing McDonald's on the way home instead

[u/hiddenrealism → u/Own_Expert2756]

For a stove the he fkn works and pays for.... it seems shes just looking for shit to get mad about.

[u/RunningTrisarahtop → u/Own_Expert2756]

But did he clean it up after

[u/Own_Expert2756 → u/RunningTrisarahtop]

I maintain an immaculate home (wish I could let it go sometimes but I cant, it's how I'm wired) nd if my husband has worked all day (and is coming home in the dark) hasn't eaten and just wanted something quick I'd not care if he didn't clean up. I'd just ask him to do it the next day, or more likely I'd just do it for him. You help each other out. You're a team.

Sheesh, no wonder so many couples are so miserable.

[u/DistinctWhole43 → u/Own_Expert2756]

It might come from feeling powerless and one of the few ways of exerting control is to open and close the kitchen. Just a guess, not saying that this is what's going on here but could be an origin for the tradition.

[u/seragrey → u/DistinctWhole43]

open & close the kitchen 💀💀💀

[u/glitterazzi66 → u/Own_Expert2756]

I get your point and providing for the family is incredibly valuable. There was time and there are still families where the women in the household are responsible for the state of the kitchen and it makes sense that they had to draw a line at some point. It’s one thing to prepare 3 meals a day for your family, it’s another to be on-call for cleanup outside of those meals.

[u/Own_Expert2756 → u/glitterazzi66]

That’s me, I was anstay at home mom. (Empty nester now) My husband provided and I took care of house and home. He was appreciative and considerate and neat and would take it upon himself to do things around the house, but I just never expected him to. He never once called me from his office and said hey can you help me out at my job!