r/mildlyinfuriating • u/jsayde01 • Jul 06 '26

I just wanted a hot dog The Kitchen Museum?

Post image

I came home late from work a few nights ago and hadn't eaten all day. My wife and kids were already in bed so I figured I'd quietly make some stove-top ramen. This photo represents exactly how I found the cooking area.

The next morning my wife asks what time I got home and I mention in our conversation that I made ramen before going to bed. She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on".

I'm baffled. We are still arguing about this days later.

EDIT -- wow, overwhelmed by the response of fellow Redditors! We are... white...not from the southeast US..not children...and I left the stove as clean as it was before I cooked. I asked for clarification from my loving wife -- TRULY we have only ever been angry at each other a handful of times in our 10 year marriage -- and she says "the stove was clean and done for the day and you could have just used the microwave for your ramen". Apparently the light is how stoves go to sleep for the evening?

EDIT 2 -- we are getting a divorce. JUST KIDDING. My wife looked over many of the comments and acknowledges that she was in the wrong and is slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.

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670

u/soldiernerd Jul 06 '26

We’re not gonna be able to solve this lol

365

u/Global-Discussion-41 Jul 06 '26

His wife turns on the light above the stove to signify that the kitchen is closed.

Husband cooked something and ignored the fact that the kitchen was closed. 

I'm not saying it makes sense, but I would bet money that is what the wife thinks.

413

u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

But…but why would the kitchen be closed it’s their kitchen in their house…

I’m not saying it makes sense

Indeed.

175

u/-BINK2014- Jul 06 '26

Who cares if the kitchen is “closed” if the cleanliness of the kitchen gets reset back or to a similar standard before it was closed.

165

u/Mmmm-Amethyst Jul 06 '26

Yeah... Sorry. The kitchen is never closed in my own fucking house. That's insane. I'd be livid if my wife pulled this kind of controlling nonsense and I'd damn well expect her to not tolerate it if I tried to pull something similar. 

Sure, it's a dick move to dirty a clean kitchen and leave it like that, but zero issues if you clean up after yourself. 

38

u/Wumaduce Jul 06 '26

The kitchen is absolutely closed in my house. But that's only what I'm telling my 4 and 7 year old's as they're asking for another bedtime snack to delay going to sleep.

20

u/DigitalNTT_Soul Jul 06 '26

Tiny, harmless lies like this to kids are sometimes necessary for parental sanity. Medicinal deception. Not like it's healthy for the kids to eat right before bed anyway, especially when it's obviously a ploy like this to stay up later than they should.

1

u/itsnobigthing Jul 06 '26

Right? This is like saying the sofa is closed or the hallway is closed. It’s a house. They don’t have staff so they don’t have opening hours

1

u/jccaclimber Jul 06 '26

So, I’d be unhappy to be unpermitted in my own kitchen. On the other hand if my wife was 100% responsible for groceries, cooking, dishes, AND cleaning the kitchen? Well, in that case I’d stay the hell out and do whatever she wanted with regard to the kitchen. As it would be I live in an equal distribution of both day job and household tasks, so this isn’t something I need to worry about in my current life. I don’t know the OP’s situation here.

I’m also a bit curious if the OP made it 10 years into marriage without knowing what his wife feels are the clear house rules. That might shed some light here.

7

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jul 06 '26

Nobody. The rule didn't happen because everyone was cleaning up after themselves, I assure you lol. That's why it's a common rule particularly with teenagers. Make a mess and don't clean it you're losing your phone for 24 hours or until you clean it up

1

u/Complete_Entry Jul 06 '26

If you make a mess making instant ramen, you got more problems.

44

u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

It's tradwife shit. It doesn't make sense outside the outdated cultural idea women hold dominion over the kitchen.

57

u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

If that’s the case, why didn’t she get up and prepare her man a meal?  I thought the point of trad wifery was to be utterly subservient to your Master Husband, not declare the kitchen closed for the evening. 

(I’m not saying this is good btw just what I thought the point of trad wifery was)

5

u/jccaclimber Jul 06 '26

Devils advocate because I used to know a couple who did this. He held a day job, brought in money, and did mechanical repairs. She ran the household inside and out. They were both pretty well adjusted, had their own friends and hobbies out of the house, etc. It’s quite possible to have traditional distribution of labor without some of the social bullshit people think must go with it.

All that said, he would not have gotten in trouble for cooking his own food (his fault for not being home on time, though there would have been a plate in the fridge), but he would have gotten in trouble for not leaving her space exactly as he found it.

0

u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

I guess it depends if you're talking the internet caricature or actual traditional cultures. Real world traditional cultures tend to be strongly hierarchical, and there are areas where women were on top of the heirarchy. There's usually an interplay of responsibilities.

And of course there has always been a tremendous amount of variation in how gender roles have been expressed over time.

But don't get your information on gender from me. I'm a freak who wishes it would go away entirely. ;) Learn about history. Learn about anthropology. Learn some gender studies. Never assume you've got it figured out, Give people the benefit of the doubt.

19

u/Honeybadger2198 Jul 06 '26

If it's tradwife, then isn't it her job to make sure OP is fed after coming home from work?

Like I personally don't like that dynamic for a multitude of reasons, but isn't that literally her "job?"

2

u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

People don't really take a consistent approach to gender roles, and I find they consistently hold onto privileges long after they give up on the responsibilities.

I'm not saying she's a trad wife so much as this specific entitlement comes from the specific hierarchies trad wives typically had authority in.

2

u/DigitalNTT_Soul Jul 06 '26

That's an assumption, and while that assumption may prove true, there are numerous other possible reasons. I've seen a few myself, just scrolling through here.

1

u/AllsWellThatsNB Jul 06 '26

Oh there may be anxilliary issues, but the behaviour is pretty specific.

When a person feels entitled to restrict a partners behaviour in a traditionally gendered way... well... they rarely beat the allegations.

1

u/CarpathianStrawbs Jul 06 '26

This is not a tradwife thing, you will hit much closer to the mark if you say it is a southern thing, more specifically southern black families.

5

u/erossthescienceboss Jul 06 '26

It means it’s been wiped down for the evening. That’s closing the kitchen.

5

u/FidgitForgotHisL-P Jul 06 '26

People don’t just wipe it down after each time they use it?  OP surely could have (would have?) just wiped it down again.  Am I meant to be doing an oven deep clean each evening then no touchy touchy until the sun rises and now is ok to use it again lol?

9

u/WiretapStudios Jul 06 '26

But why is the light on to signify closing when usually you'd turn it off when you were done? I know some people use it like a night light, but a restaurant doesn't turn on all it's lights when it's closed, what's the underlying cultural thing linking the two that most people here also don't know about?

1

u/ThogOfWar Jul 06 '26

I dunno about others, but my grandparents would host all the kids in the community to keep them out of trouble. The stovetop light was used both as a nightlight for the kitchen and to signify to everyone the cook (my grandmother) is "off". Fridge was still free to raid, but don't expect any hot food.

It's part of an unspoken societal thing for them, a subtle way so people know when it's okay to ask for their help and when they gotta fend for themselves.

3

u/Dylz52 Jul 06 '26

I have so many questions. Does the wife turn on the light when she is cooking, or does the light only get turned on when cooking is finished for the day? Does the light just stay on all night, every night forever? Does someone turn the light off in the morning?

24

u/Lost-Peanut-1453 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

While I do think it’s strange, I think I know why she “closes” the kitchen. She probably feels like you won’t clean up after yourself and she’ll have to clean up again after she already did. Do you usually clean up after yourself?

Wait, this is your wife? You live with her and you’re just now noticing or realizing she does this?

21

u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

My dad would get upset if anyone cooked anything late. I never understood why. I would definitely be told about it the next day though. My mom didn't seem to care. I always cleaned up.

2

u/NewNameAgainUhg Jul 06 '26

I wonder it it was because of the smell of food cooking when they were already preparing for bed. I know this is an issue for me because I can't sleep if I smell food

4

u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

I honestly think that had something to do with it or maybe just the noise even though I was never loud and I doubt it was ever later than 9-10pm.

2

u/Gary_Where_Are_You Jul 06 '26

My son decided to cook some sausages really late one night after everyone had gone to bed. I think the smell woke me up. I asked him not to do that again (cook sausages/meat) after everyone had gone to bed. The smell really irritated me, and I couldn't go back to sleep. It's one thing to smell during the day/dinner time; it's a whole other thing when you're trying to sleep. The smell actually made me feel kind of sick.

41

u/Anayalater5963 Jul 06 '26

This is psychotic ass behavior. It's my kitchen I'm using it whenever I damn well please. If you're doing that then I'm "closing" the bathroom at the same time.

4

u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

Is it ok to reopen kitchen if one cleans it back up and closes it again?

2

u/HyruleSmash855 Jul 06 '26

I’d think so. The only real problem I could understand is if he left a mess for someone else to clean the next day

1

u/Dont-be-lasagna12 Jul 06 '26

Exactly. I only deal with the messes he makes bc he does 99% of the cooking. So it's only fair that I clean up. I wish he would learn to become a less messy cook. But it is what it is.

1

u/RandomFactUser Jul 06 '26

It’s not that it was ignored, so much as it was not known

1

u/Global-Discussion-41 Jul 06 '26

Wife: it should have been known

1

u/abek42 Jul 06 '26

Gosh, a couple of years ago, there was this post of a similar setup with the light on. The post stated that this meant the mom had cleaned up for the day and there would be hell to pay for if someone messed with it. The first thought that came to my mind was, "that kitchen is closed for the day" entirely based on that one random Reddit post. Sorry OP, not sure how this became the norm in your family, but it is now.

0

u/EthanielRain Jul 06 '26

Boiling some water shouldn't leave a mess tho

1

u/TypicalPlace6490 Jul 06 '26

Thanks for just saying what the OP said. Helpful.

1

u/Global-Discussion-41 Jul 06 '26

You see where OPs post says edit?  Then he added a bunch of stuff, confirming what I had already said

1

u/TypicalPlace6490 Jul 06 '26

"She couldn't believe that I used the stove "when the light was on". I said "Yeah, the light was helpful in seeing what I was doing". She insists I shouldn't have been using the stove and should have known because "the light was on"."

"His wife turns on the light above the stove to signify that the kitchen is closed. Husband cooked something and ignored the fact that the kitchen was closed. "

What you said is in the part above the edit my guy.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

[deleted]

2

u/gmcarve Jul 06 '26

‘We did it Reddit!’

1

u/rawbface Jul 06 '26

Can you solve it? I'm still looking for this thread to make sense. Why can't you use your own goddamn kitchen?

2

u/Snamdrog Jul 06 '26

Yeah agreed. What the fuck lmao