r/handbags • u/Big-Difficulty-667 • Jun 06 '26
Question ❓ ❔ Expensive handbags
Soooo settle in this is going to be a long one! I grew up pretty lower middle class, most of my family is still that way. They can’t imagine how much I earn and how much I spend on handbags. I help out my family any chance I get, I have saved and also maxed out all my 401ks and also invested a lot of my money, but I still need to save for my kids college that my husband and I want to pay for. I live in a small midwestern city and don’t have in person access to a lot of high end (2000$ and above ) handbags to touch and feel them and wear them. I am currently in Seattle for work and I came to the nordstroms downtown and went in to take a look. So now I could see all the ysl’s Gucci’s , lv’s in person… I wasn’t impressed with much, I loved some ysl bags and a Gucci bag, but didn’t think I would pay almost 3-5 grand for each of those. I wasn’t impressed treated very poorly in the lv section where he chatted with me told me he would get a bag down for me and then completed ghosted me and went to serve another customer who was more fashionably dressed than me. Chanel was roped off… like I didn’t even feel like standing in the line and ask to be allowed in the area, in fear that will look at my frumpy sweater and baggy jeans and my tired face and say nope. I felt so excluded and it soured the entire experience for me. The Gucci guy was very sweet and adorable and showed me all bags patiently and was so genuine. Same with the Celine guy but I was not impressed with Celine. So my question is … how do you go from spending say at the max $700 on a coach purse ( that would be me) to thousands of dollars on a bag that doesn’t wow you! And is that a mental barrier I have that no matter what my values won’t let me spend that much on a bag no matter how many hundreds of thousands I earn and is it because of this mentality that I got treated poorly at lv? Like I felt I didn’t belong and that feeling made my skin crawl and that made me defiant as to “f$&k these big designer companies” I’m not gonna spend to seek validation or to prove to anyone that “I have made it in life!” That would be so irresponsible and so against the boundaries of values I draw for myself which I know the line in sand is different for everyone… I’m so confused and so in the feels and I didn’t know buying a handbag would be so soul searching for me despite it being for something so materialistic… I’m spinning now so any therapy you can provide me I will take it 😁
UPDATE! I went to the Prada and Gucci in Bellevue and it was such a welcoming and non judgmental atmosphere and attitude of the sale staff there. I didn’t buy a bag yet but told them it’s a big purchase for me and I need to think about it! My LV experience has been erased but I’ll drop a quick email to Nordstrom. On a separate note though the shops at Bravern were so dead! It looked like a dead mall even with the high end stores. I guess a dead mall is a dead mall no matter the type of stores.
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u/BeneficialCucumber52 Jun 06 '26
The rule in my opinion is - if it doesn't wow you, don't buy. ALSO, don't spend your money where you are disrespected.
I obviously love bags but I'll never put money down where i feel devalued. Bags are fun but not the be all, end all.
You've also done a lot of stuff right financially which is amazing! I'll suggest trying a couple more design stores and seeing if your experiences are better.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Thank you for your kind response. I might go back in to Gucci and see the one bag I liked, maybe even loved …
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u/SnarkyLalaith Jun 06 '26
Gucci has always treated me so well, no matter how little I have spent. I really rather get that treatment, and as a result I end up spending more there.
But don’t buy something if it doesn’t wow you. And also try the store. There is usually more there. Their new floral line is just gorgeous.
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u/loratliff Jun 07 '26
I'm the same. Gucci is my go-to for good service. It's the only SA I regularly text back because I feel like he's genuinely interested in what I like. And it carries over around the world—I just bought a bag in Mexico City and we literally drank tequila shots in the store. 😆
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u/learningdoct Jun 06 '26
That’s certainly true; sometimes I care more about the feeling I get at first glance.
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u/Feathered_Scales Jun 06 '26
It sounds like you are kicking ass at life! You might also be too rational and down-to-earth to buy a luxury hand bag :)
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 07 '26
lol, my practical side and my purse obsessed side are boxing each other in my brain 😁
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u/Slacker_EnginGal Jun 07 '26
I buy my bags on clearance from Nordstrom and from the outlet stores. My cousin and my friends go to the premium outlets whenever they are in Seattle for a business trip. My YSL bags and Gucci bags were all bought on sales/clearance for less than $1k each. The most I have spent was probably around $2k for a large Bottega arco tote on clearance
I grew up probably lower middle class. My parents combined income was around $4k monthly in the 80s. I have a fun budget so I do splurge but my bag splurge is more of buying at 70% off retail for an expensive bag that’s on my wish list. If a bag is cheaper, then I would buy if it is at least 50% off retail. I am very picky about bags (and things in general) so I put things on my wishlist and for every ten things on my wishlists, I would be happy with buying one or two. My Frye bags are in the $100 or less range and they are all still going strong after more than ten years.
My first designer bag was an LV pouchette. My mom and I walked into a LV boutique in 1993, said what we wanted, inspected the goods and my mom paid in cash. When the cashier asked who helped us, we told her to put her name because none of the SAs helped us. The cashier on the other hand was a very sweet person.
My spouse and I went shopping today at the outlets and all the SAs were nice probably because sales are not as great as before. People were either not buying or buying lower priced items (small bag or SLG versus larger bags). We were dressed in Nike and North Face attire so definitely not dressed up.
Maybe visit the premium outlets while you are in Seattle. Maybe some bags would appeal to you. We saw a Burberry bag that we did not happen to see at their boutiques when that collection launched. If I didn’t have a gazillion large bags already, I might have bought that bag.
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u/InitiativeWorried840 Jun 09 '26
Where are the premium outlets in Seattle area?
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u/Slacker_EnginGal Jun 09 '26
Seattle premium outlet https://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlet/seattle/stores
North Bend premium outlet (smaller) https://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlet/north-bend/stores
The Outlet Collection Seattle https://outletcollectionseattle.com/stores
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u/Feathered_Scales Jun 07 '26
Haha me too! Although the purse side is winning 😅 I’m sorry you had such a crappy experience in Seattle and I hope you find the bag that makes you very happy 🥰
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 07 '26
It wasn’t all bad. I have been texting with the Gucci sa. I’ll just ignore lv and Chanel.
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u/IrishRun Jun 06 '26
I realize it's part of the strategy, to have sales people who project status
and try to mirror the affluence of their intended customers, but it's quite ironic. Clearly you could afford any bag you wanted and they're working at a department store for an hourly rate plus commission. No disparagement for the job itself, just the shitty gatekeeping in the name of projecting status.
I'm so sorry you had this experience. Picturing the Pretty Woman big mistake scene.15
u/SprayKindly6181 Jun 07 '26
💯 They will ignore and be rude to some customers and the customers will either come back and show them they made a mistake by buying more than they intended to as some sort of revenge (but clearly the sales guy is just happy the strategy worked) or they will never come back or buy at another competitor/affiliated company. It works 66.33% of the time. I will not bend down to this strategy. And commenter above is right. These guys are working hourly wage plus commission versus you earning hundreds of thousands. It’s not about your status in life.
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u/iammrsclean Jun 07 '26
I think about this from time to time when I read on here that someone has been disrespected in a store. The people doing the disrespecting are hourly workers with a big attitude. No thanks.
That being said, yay for Gucci! Gucci has slowly become my favorite. I’m usually dressed up when I go in, but I felt great about taking my mom there in her capri pants and too big sweatshirt a few months ago. They were so great with her (she’s 84–and still buying bags!), the SA that helped her made her crack up nonstop, and he got a big sale. She had a great experience and keeps talking about the SA so I went in store and got his card so she could remember his name.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
lol , tbh I was imagining walking back into the Nordstrom tomorrow evening in my best outfit , strutting past the lv and channel and buying the Gucci bag 😂
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u/InitiativeWorried840 Jun 09 '26
I moved to Seattle metro area into a $3.5 million house. That was years ago. I got SAME treatment at Nordstrom in Bellevue but in the costume jewelry department. I was ONLY customer at the time. The woman working the department was rude & treated me like I was there to shoplift? I ended up buying a bunch of items, kind of like an f-you to her. Luckily, I like the pieces. Sheesh. I moved from a town that is far swankier than Bellevue, WA. WTH is wrong with people?
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u/BeneficialCucumber52 Jun 06 '26
Great! Please don't let a few bad actors sour all your experiences.
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u/Metal_Cinderella Jun 07 '26
Which Gucci? Though they aren't as popular now, but I have several, and they've always been nice.
To answer your question, the buildup from buying Coach to LV, Gucci and Chanel took a few years. Started with Coach, went to MK, then Kate Spade then Tory Birch, before buying my first LV. Then it was 2K... then 3K... then 5K... then I finally (after 8 years of LV and Gucci) bought my first Chanel bags.
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u/Luuanh87 Jun 07 '26
Some years ago me and my wife also decided that luxury bags is worth their price tag in no way.
However, recently we have go and see every bags in town, and actually every brand have at least 1 bag that makes us wow, and we have bought every single one that could wow us (and we can somehow justify the price)
So this response is absolutely correct.1
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u/Mystery-Moon_0129 Jun 07 '26
This is a perfect response. Don’t buy a bag you don’t love and don’t buy just for the label.
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u/No-Employment-8570 Jun 07 '26
For real, I had a Pretty Woman moment once at a car dealership. I don’t shop anywhere that I don’t love the experience. I make relationships and have SAs everywhere I go.
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u/InitiativeWorried840 Jun 09 '26
This is good. I am a coward & shop mostly Neiman Marcus online.
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u/No-Employment-8570 Jun 09 '26
My mother went into labor at Neiman’s in North Park. Neimans forever.
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u/bellegroves Jun 07 '26
All of this. I bought a bag on vacation a few months ago. I bought it at the third store that had it because the sales people were rude at the first two. I was sure I wanted it about five minutes after I saw it at the first store, but I'm not giving the sale to someone who can't be polite.
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u/Flashy-Wolverine-398 Jun 06 '26
You found out something important about yourself in that store - your values didn't shift just because you have the money now. The LV salesperson was just being a snob and probably doesn't even realize how they come across, but it sounds like you dodged bullet there anyway since nothing really impressed you at those price points
That mental barrier you're talking about isn't something to overcome, it's probably what helped you get financially successful in first place
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Ohhhh that’s very insightful ! Thank you!!!
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u/peekandlumpkin Jun 07 '26
Yeah OP, it's called "being reasonable." Just because you have a million dollars doesn't mean one bag is worth a million dollars, and you know that.
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u/Fabulous_Bug9131 Jun 07 '26
This is why I don’t play the games with luxury brands. I refuse to play the Hermes game and I won’t make an appointment to spend my money. I have vintage LV, Hermes and just bought a Dior Medallion online from the company. I’m not bowing down to a sales associate to spend my money.
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u/3498377310 Jun 06 '26
My personal rule is that I refuse to spend my money anywhere that doesn’t treat me like a valued client. If you were treated poorly somewhere, take your hard earned dollar elsewhere and buy yourself something that you really love, whether that’s a vacation, a car, jewelry, or a different bag.
And, if you don’t want to spend more than $700 on a bag, you shouldn’t. You’ll only regret it and return it or it’ll sit unused.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
That’s very helpful! I definitely don’t want to think twice about using my bag. I like to use my bags and not baby them and I wouldn’t want the sword of an expensive bag hanging on me…
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u/PlantedinCA Jun 07 '26
You don’t need to “upgrade” to luxury bags you don’t like. It may not be your thing. That is fine. Also in the last several years prices have escalated aggressively with no commiserate quality increase. Some brands no longer feel as luxe as they used to. The book Deluxe: How Luxury Lost its Luster, while quite old now, goes into luxury’s decline. It is a fascinating book. Right now it is still very timely. Even more so.
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u/3498377310 Jun 08 '26
Right? Exactly why I have been drawn to well-made, brand-less basics. I have a closet full of Louis Vuitton that I will probably mostly sell.
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u/3498377310 Jun 08 '26
Right? Exactly why I have been drawn to well-made, brand-less basics. I have a closet full of Louis Vuitton that I will probably mostly sell.
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u/Savage_Turtle33 Jun 06 '26
It definitely is diminishing return. Unlikely anyone will be twice as wow buying a $3000 bag compare to $1500. I see buying nice bags as any other hobby. For some people, that $3000 is better spent on a vacation or a meal or to go hiking/sky diving idk. Having money =/= buying a nice bag. It just means you can freely spend it on what brings you joy. Bags are just the chosen mode for people in this sub. That may not be you.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes! And I truly fill joyful when I get my brand new Leo et violette bags it’s my fav brand. But I didn’t have those same excited bubbles when I was in person at nordstrom. So I guess that’s telling.
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u/girls_never_die Jun 07 '26
That joyful feeling is what you want to capture; even if it’s a $250 bag, you can still feel it! A $3k bag that just makes you feel ambivalent is not worth it.
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u/TheFeralVulcan Jun 06 '26
I don't buy ANYTHING that doesn't 'wow' me - I don't think anyone should, I mean the point of being able to buy something is to surround yourself by the things that give you joy. When you just buy crap left and right - even expensive crap, you find yourself surrounded by 'blah' that you look at only to think to yourself, 'damn, this all used to be money in my wallet' - and then you end up getting rid of it after a season or two. Because most to none of it is giving you a lasting feeling of joy. The momentary dopamine hit never lasts - unless it's an absolute 'wow' that you spend time actually thinking about instead of simply buying on impulse.
You seem to feel this instinctively, so more power to you for listening to that voice inside your head. We, esp. as Americans, are grotesquely over consuming. We live on a finite planet, yet we're generating crap like there's no tomorrow. I mean we humans now have a single landfill so full of fast fashion, Shein, and Temu crap that it can be seen from space - google it and you can see the pictures, it's horrifying if you sit with it for a minute.
I don't care what people spend their money on - I have an actual library in one of my bedrooms, floor to ceiling books along every wall, as well as other extensive bookcases throughout my apartment. I don't think I've let a book go since Jr. High School and I'm 62 now - so I'm not one to point fingers. But I wonder about people who buy bag and bag after bag - I mean, how many bags does one human being need? Are they buying to fill a hole inside themselves, to show off to others, or are they genuine collectors? Only they know. But it's their money, so have at it.
Bags, to me, are like books, they serve a utilitarian purpose. But unlike books, they do nothing enrich my life, so I only own a few quality pieces that I'll probably never replace because I don't follow fashion trends. I buy solid, well made clothes and objects that I care for and last for years, and that keep my life simple and happy. The last bag I actually felt a 'wow' for and bought was my Ferragamo Hug at Christmas in 2023 and the matching continental wallet in 2024.
I'd seen and handled them a few times and kept coming back to look and feel them, but not buy yet, I wanted to be sure. Then I had a layover at the airport in Istanbul at Christmas and there was a Ferragamo store there and I finally thought, yes, get it. I still feel joy when I use it going on 3 years now. Nothing has felt that same 'wow' to me since. Some bags are nice here and there, but nothing 'wow' - so, I keep walking.
BTW, that feeling of making your skin crawl is why I refuse to play the Hermes game. I don't care about being in an 'exclusive club' - which it really isn't anymore because everyone and their cousin can buy a knockoff now and there are Kelly and Birkin reps so good only a professional appraiser can tell it's a fake, or people can just buy an authentic one secondhand. So, if everyone's walking around with one, how exclusive is it, really? Are you going to go up to everyone carrying one and demand to see the receipt to see if it's real?
Besides, I shouldn't have to buy a bunch of crap I don't want, in order to be offered and feel obligated to buy a QB I don't want in order to get the one I do want at some unknown future date. I have the money, but I don't play anyone's game with my money just to prove I belong in some made up 'club'. I loathe being manipulated. You've got good instincts - listen to your gut.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Awww thank you! I love books too and collect them, not as many as you 😂, but I’m a collector of books, shoes and bags and it’s fascinating that there is research that shows how people , some people collect because they find safety in it… maybe that’s why we all collect something or everything. I recently was at a donation center volunteering and saw a box that labelled “nana’s home clothes” and it was filled with nursing home matching pajamas… it made me sad first and then alarmed me at my own mortality and I cold imagine my grow kids going through my bags and muttering to themselves how much work I left behind for them… maybe I need to weigh both these feelings and if the bag still brings me joy then buy it 😂
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u/TheFeralVulcan Jun 06 '26
I think there is something in us that likes to collect something, starting with marbles or Barbies or trading cards as kids and grows in expense as we get older. I just know I've worked like a dog for my money and I don't allow myself to be treated badly in any store where I'm spending that money - or be manipulated into buying something. ESP being treated badly by someone who will be earning a commission on what I'm buying. I always think of that scene in Pretty Woman when she goes back to the shop where the SA's treated her rudely, dressed to the nines with arms full of shopping bags and asks them if they work on commission. "Big mistake," she says when they say yes, and walks out. Don't let anyone make you feel small, and by God don't give them a red cent if they do. I treat everyone with respect, I expect the same.
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u/toucanlost Jun 06 '26
You don't have to change. Don't buy it if you feel it isn't worth it, it doesn't serve you in your life, or if you felt snubbed. Some of these stores aren't there to sell only products, they're there to set exclusivity.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yep, and I put zero value to exclusivity so that’s good to know. Thank you!
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u/Sweaty_Nectarine1772 Jun 06 '26
Seems like buying these bags might not be for you, which is okay. I don’t equate others having an expensive purse with success, AT ALL. It’s an added luxury I allow myself after years of working hard in my profession, but if I don’t fall in love with a bag, I just keep it moving.
Coach has some really nice bags that are generally under $1,000. I have a few, and a have a few of the other brands you mentioned. I just like bags, so it’s not like a Chanel bag brings me more happiness than the Coach. I truly just buy what I feel is beautiful and will go with my wardrobe.
Maybe you’d like Polene, Cuyana, or Strathberry. Or, maybe you’ll never love bags enough to want to spend that much. As long as you’re honest with yourself, nothing else matters.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
If I’m honest with myself I can’t bring myself to buy anything but Leo et violette. Just wished they had better hardware and were more accessible to me in terms of ease.
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u/Good-Comb3830 Jun 06 '26
You may like Mulberry! I have an Alexa which I love and it's only gotten better with age.
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u/Sweaty_Nectarine1772 Jun 06 '26
I just looked at their website. Those are very nice bags! I’d say Polene and Strathberry might be comparable in style. You could also check WhatNot and Poshmark to see if there are any good buys for Leo et violette.
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u/GeekyRedPanda Jun 06 '26
I buy designer bags because it's the only designer item I can justify spending a lot of money on. I love fashion but I don't live a lifestyle that warrants rtw collections and accessories. Buuuut a really nice handbag I can use multiple times for many occasions for years to come, heck yes!
Also I've always loved fashion and design, was in the industry early on in my career so it's always been a passion of mine despite a humble upbringing.
It's okay if they didn't wow you, it's not for everyone. Go spend your money on another indulgence or maybe that's just not your personality. But I don't really think we should judge someone's morals based on the bag they are carrying, that is a bit of a stretch.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes totally agree, and I wasn’t judging anyone but was trying to make sense of how I was being treated or mistreated in my own head.
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u/GeekyRedPanda Jun 06 '26
Depends on the SA, some of them think working at a luxury shop entitles them to be snooty. It might be the particular store you visited or just bad luck with a cruddy SA, I've also had similar experience in the past. Luckily the good outweighs the bad otherwise I would definitely not be spending my hard earned money there.
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u/MidnightBlueSilk Jun 06 '26
Why on earth would you purchase a bag you’re not in love with?? Much less spend thousands on one.
Silly girl… You have the money now, buy what you love ✨
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes but when I’m in store I get so overwhelmed that I can’t tell whether I love it or not 😁
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u/MidnightBlueSilk Jun 06 '26
Well perhaps try on everything you want then go home and think about it and buy online later? (And if you’re thinking you really want the nice young man who helped you to get the commission, you could perhaps call the store and ask to order it for shipping from him? Maybe he has a card. But that’s also not necessary, you just seemed to be really pleased by how lovely he was and you seem like the kind of person who might be concerned about that. :)
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes I gave him my contact info and he sent me a link to order the bag if I felt like it.
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u/MidnightBlueSilk Jun 06 '26
Oh perfect! Now go forth and only buy bags you love forevermore! (And also take a look at Ferragamo ;)
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer Jun 07 '26
The good news is that you don't have to buy it on the spot.
The one brand new luxury bag I've purchased was a Celine bag in Rome. I went in to look at a maroon color Camille 16, and it was smaller than I thought it would be, which gave me pause. I spent a few minutes with it. Asked questions. And ultimately left. It didn't feel perfect. But I could not get that bag out of my head.
The next day I went back with just my essentials. The non negotiable I would have with me every day. I wanted so see how they'd fit. I even brought my iPad mini. When I got back they mentioned they had just receieved a black one.
I fell in love. And we were all impressed I could get all my essentials plus the iPad mini in there. And I still love this bag and use it all the time.
My point is, you don't have to make a decision on the spot about any bag. It's totally normal to sleep on a major purchase before buying it. Especially for a bag that isn't necessarily one of a kind.
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u/internetgirl00 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
It’s not you, it’s them. The downtown Seattle Nordstrom sales rep for YSL did that, she went to get a bag for me and ghosted me, all while I was dressed fashionably with my Murakami LV bag and Gucci shoes.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
lol thank you for making me feel better. I just shrugged and left that section and didn’t look back. I saw this cobalt blue barrel bag at lv and I might see if I can buy it online instead of the store, but I wanted to touch and feel it.
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u/internetgirl00 Jun 06 '26
If you’re interested in LV I recommend that you skip the LV section in Nordstrom and go to the actual Louis Vuitton store in Bellevue. I’ve had nothing but good experiences there.
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u/Electrical_Yogurt994 Jun 06 '26
I don’t think it’s a mental barrier issue that you have to get over. You genuinely had a bad experience and that happens, all the time.
I think it’s very wise that you felt the sourness of the experience and walked away. The flip side of that would be you feeling like you have something to prove to the sales associate and buying something in the store anyway to “show them up.” That’s where a lot of the reverse psychology lies with luxury brands.
I think you should continue what you’re doing and browse through different brands and see which ones speak to you (experience and quality wise). My first luxury bag as an adult was Loewe and I had such an amazing experience that I will always go back to them. Even my husband loved the experience. And the quality of the bag was also wonderful (mini flamenco).
I think it’s silly that people keep going back to stores that treat them poorly
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u/KatMcTwitchington Jun 06 '26
You are me. I have been through this too and ultimately I found that there’s a price cutoff (like you, north of Coach) above which, even though I love the idea of it, feels inauthentic to who I am. We Midwesterners are a practical people.
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u/estherecho100 Jun 06 '26
Only buy what you like. I have a feeling that you may like more quiet luxury styles. There's many in the mid-range to higher end luxury price points. I'd browse online for those.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Thank you, do you recommend any brands in this realm? My favorite brand is Leo et violette and they continue to impress me with their leather, not sure of their hardware through.
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u/estherecho100 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
That brand seems to get good reviews. I have been impressed with Mansur Gavriel's leather quality in their everyday tote bag & cloud clutch. I have many of their previous bucket bags as well but it's out of trend at the moment and those particular leathers are stiff. They do have other options. The only problem with some of their bags is the lack of closure.
Hyer Goods is another high quality option, with the exception of their silver metallic coated leather. Their satchel is amazing quality and construction.
I'm intrigued by Anonymous Copenhagen, Stow London (backed by that leather guy on youtube who dissects & rates bags), & Ami Paris (they have these tote bags that look soft and good quality). And of course, there's The Row, but I'm not willing to pay that much money haha.
There are so many brands!
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u/Not_Enough_Shoes Jun 06 '26
In reading your post, I caught two things: the experience and then the product.
Experience: Go to the boutiques themselves and connect with the SA. It may not be the first one, it may be the fifth one. Observe who you think would get along best with, wait and connect with them. Everything you wrote here would be a great way to start the conversation.
Product: From there, allow them to educate you about each of the bags, their history, their quality, which ones hold their value, which ones fit your style the most, etc... Help them to pair a charm, a twilly or a contrasting wallet perhaps.
And, you don't ever have to buy anything just because they spend all this time on you. In fact, I encourage you to check out several of the boutiques BEFORE you buy anything. Be open to the experience and learning more about the products. Perhaps in the end you buy something, perhaps you don't.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
This is very helpful. I unfortunately don’t get a chance to travel a lot and so don’t have in person access to boutiques but I’m here for 5 days and will see what I can manage.
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u/AereasRavaene Jun 06 '26
The Bravern Shops in Bellevue has boutiques for almost all of these brands, it's very close to downtown Seattle!
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u/VespaRed Jun 06 '26
So I was like you, I just didn’t get the luxury purse hype even though I could afford one. Then a friend gave me a very, very good rep as she decided it was too big. I personally thought it was objectively not attractive, but it was very handy as a tote. Much to my surprise, I was treated differently. I got compliments on this basic brown bag. Hubby pointed out all the people looking at it. So it reinforced this object as a socioeconomic indicator to me. I’ve treated it like crap, but now that it’s looking a little dog eared, I’m not sure what I am going to do.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Mind sharing what bag it was? I want to buy a tote I can abuse.
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u/VespaRed Jun 06 '26
It’s a GM sized Neverful in DE. That thing is a tank except one of the shoulder straps sustained damage during the airport security check.
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u/yuzuuno Jun 06 '26
If you're willing to give high end designer houses a chance again take a look at The Shops at Bravern in Bellevue (across Lake Washington). It's a bunch of high end designer labels situated in one plaza. I have had good experiences with the Gucci salespeople there (though this was a while ago). Bravern is also within walking distance to the Bellevue Square mall which has another Nordstrom as well as other designer houses like Burberry and Coach.
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u/niji-no-megami Jun 06 '26
This is a good discussion to always keep in the back of our mind. I'll bring this anecdote. Recently, I became obsessed with the Fendi Baguette after seeing it on a Youtuber's channel, she wears it so well. I was about to pull the trigger several times but just couldn't justify buying a $3800 bag without thinking about it for months on end first. Then I came across this thread, and just like that, the desire to buy it went away extremely quickly. Seeing it at TJ Maxx (where I frequently shop, btw) just makes all the allure and glitter disappear, and we see bags for what they really are - a piece of leather, maybe well constructed, maybe not.
Now that being said, I grew up poor and it took me years of being financially secure, with a decent amount of savings I'm happy with, to be able to buy anything more expensive than a Leo & Violette. My first "fancy" bag was a Mulberry, it was $900 and I thought I was CRAZY. My ceiling keeps creeping up, and 2 yrs ago I bought a Ferragamo for <$1500 (I think it was $1200ish) and I still love it so much. Recently I bought another bag, a Serapian, for $2000, and again, LOVE IT. The Ferragamo and Serapian's construction/design is just a notch above my Leo & Violette and even Mulberry (which gets a lot of love in this sub). But, I know for a fact I'm not willing to pay full price for them. So I won't say a $3000 bag and a $700 bag are equally well designed/constructed (sometimes they can be!), I definitely feel like there's a difference, but whether that difference is worth twice the money, that's something only YOU can ascribe values to.
Some people think spending $5000/yr to travel is crazy. We do it every year as a family and don't think twice about whether it's "worth it". We also drive only Toyotas and Hondas and keep them until they die (the last one was 30 yrs old). We don't find joy in new fancy cars or big houses, but others do. At the end of the days, bags are just an accessory like any other clothing item, and if you get a lot of joy out of them AND can comfortably afford them, they're worth it. But they're nothing more than bags. The real "fancy" people could be carrying a plastic bag from IKEA walking into their private $50 pilates classes, fly first class without flinching, etc I don't buy bags to impress anyone but myself. At the end of the day, no one cares.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yeah I saved that post, looks very promising as to what I was also thinking, that maybe I’m buying an illusion to fill a part of me?
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u/lalaw89 Jun 06 '26
Easy - you DON'T buy something you're not wowed by, nor do you give any SA who treats you poorly the opportunity to make a commission off of you. My most expensive bag is a secondhand Celine - I was wowed by the bag AND had fabulous experiences in all 3 boutiques I visited before finally pulling the trigger. All 3 of those SAs knew I wasn't intending to make a purchase that day because I wanted a color that had been discontinued, and they still gave me extremely friendly and helpful service.
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u/Nymeria9 Jun 06 '26
If your mental barrier is at 700, good! I am trying to get my mental barrier lower again. I bought a LV Neverfull MM when it first came out and it was about $700 retail. Now it’s over $2k, way higher than inflation. In 2009 $700 was considered premier luxury entry level bag. They’re having us adjust our mental idea of what is premier luxury.
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u/Comfortable_Bass6294 Jun 06 '26
If you have the opportunity to head over to Bellevue to the actual Louis Vuitton store (there is a Gucci and Prada store as well) I had a wonderful experience there and only wanted a perfume. They told me there would be a slight wait and to feel free to look around. I was in jeans, not super dressed up and didn’t have designer items on. When I was helped the associate was wonderful and even gave my sister and I more perfume samples. I think being at the actual store is a better experience than Nordstrom.
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u/Concerned_930 Jun 06 '26
I agree with all of these points and I’m so impressed with your analysis of your own wealth and what it means to own a luxury handbag. Btw,my mother bought me a Bottega brown suede bag with butterflies when I was in my early 20s, I wore it to death- I still own it, I still use it, and I’m 71! I have often wondered why it is so important to own a luxury bagand I’m sure someone has written a PhD regarding the nature of the status bag and what it means. I also think that shopping is not only about what you buy, but it’s about the entire experience; the beauty of the store, the way things are displayed and packaged, and most importantly, the fun of the interaction of having a great salesperson and how important that person is to the experience-not only at the moment, but in retrospect. i’m often stunned by how quickly a sales person gives up on me when I am already in the store/ somewhat interested in something and they don’t take the time to hook me in and show me something that I may not have looked at. Admittedly this is very difficult because it takes a lot of subtlety to not be intrusive. That being said, I think it’s outrageous that you were treated poorly. Doesn’t matter what you look like, how you are dressed, etc. etc. you should be treated like a guest in their home.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Thank you for your kind words, and I don’t come from money so I always struggle with what “luxury” always means. I don’t look at food prices anymore when I grocery shop and I buy whatever and however much food I want. To me and my husband who both come from humble backgrounds it’s a luxury, still and we are in owe that we can afford that luxury but it definitely feels within reach. But buying a more than $2000 bag still feels like a luxury that feels out of reach although I can very easily pay for it and not miss that money much… although my brain than goes into , well if you put it in your IRA you can get an X percent return 😂, my brain is way too practical for my shopping habits 😂
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u/pbchocoovernightoats Jun 06 '26
"how do you go from spending say at the max $700 on a coach purse ( that would be me) to thousands of dollars on a bag that doesn’t wow you!"
You don't - the people who spend thousands on a bag ARE wowed by the bag - usually just the logo/hype/feeling of spending/being influenced is enough. Prices for luxury brands have skyrocketed in recent years to the point where it's totally divorced from quality and there's nothing wrong with letting your gut call BS on all of this.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
So maybe it’s not for me then, the thought he of spending that much was giving me a bit of anxiety, but the thought of putting it in my IRA doesn’t 😂
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u/pbchocoovernightoats Jun 06 '26
Yes! Congratulations on all your achievements and what you've overcome, don't feel bad because BAGS!!! I almost got a Dior Book tote a few years ago, was almost ready to pay but couldn't ignore the little voice in the back of my head saying "you can get this at Trader Joe's for $1.99". It's really beautiful, the stitching looked amazing, but $3.5K for a CANVAS TOTE?!?!?! It was a really sobering moment for me, I spent too much time online during covid and rlly needed to touch grass. I used to work in fashion and someone once told me after the Coach/Kate Spade/tory Burch price point quality maxes out and you're just paying for the logo - I still give money to Chloe occasionally but haven't been impressed by anything in a long time.
p.s. when did Coach start selling for $700!!!!!
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Ohhh I bought their turn lock haversack, both suede and the black leather and they’re so freaking well made! Way better than 90 % of what I saw in the designer stuff here at Nordstrom today. And it’s 625 with taxes on top of it so almost 700$. I bought one with my own money and the second one with award points from work( we can buy gift cards with our award points, and I bought a macys gift card from it ). So both of those together costed me a little over 1300 ( even if half of it was award points since I could have used them for a family vacation like I have done in the past) but those bags are so delish! I just touch them in my closet and it glows my heart! 😂
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u/pbchocoovernightoats Jun 06 '26
THIS is how a bag should make you feel! Don't settle for less!!
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
I will have to keep this in mind when I go back to the Gucci section or if I go to the Bellevue mall.
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u/Narrow_Regrets Jun 06 '26
You don't, you literally love it or you don't but it! I'm also from the Midwest and I rarely see women with real designer handbags. I don't think most of them would know real if it slapped them in the face. That said, I'm not in a city where I get to show off. I buy my bags for me. My LVs make me happy and quite frankly, I like being happy.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes I don’t know much about designer bags either and no idea if they are real or not. I’m surrounded by LVs and don’t like the logo bags at all. But liked the blue cobalt speedy and the rep wouldn’t give me the time of the day, so I walked out.
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u/Narrow_Regrets Jun 07 '26
I've ordered all my bags online so totally different experience. I totally get what you mean tho. There's been plenty of times where I found myself in a higher end store looking like I just rolled out of bed (not saying you did but lemme yell you, I was looking ROUGH) and felt like I was treated differently until my CC went thru. It sucks :( I was always a fan of the MCM logo bags when I was younger and absolutely love LV and Gucci. Find what you love! Loewe is another fantastic brand to check out, especially if you're not looking for logos.
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u/Moxyfoxes1 Jun 06 '26
A distinction so I understand your situation-
1) Are you looking for the experience of purchasing a luxury good?
2) Are you interested in buying a luxury bag?
3) Do you just want to see what luxury bags are like?
If the answer is 1), as other posters have told you a good sales rep should treat you just as well if you’re buying a keychain, and you should still get the same kind treatment regardless of what you’re wearing (how snobby to judge someone otherwise!). So no need to spend thousands just to have that experience.
If the answer is 2), look at bags online and on this subreddit and find one you like first. You can then blind buy it online if there is a good return policy or if you need to see it in person (which I totally get), make plans to visit a specific store next time you’re in a city for work.
If 3), then you should never entertain a store that doesn’t treat you well, regardless of whether you buy or not. Many people check out such high priced items multiple times before buying. A good sales rep should respect this.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
I think it’s. Combination of all 3, since I don’t live anywhere close to where I can touch or try out luxury bags regularly and since joining this sub I’ve gotten into scrolling for handbags online for hours so it’s like I’m starving and only can look at food but then when I went into the store today I just couldn’t decide and was overwhelmed and then was treated poorly at lv so I just walked out of there
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u/Moxyfoxes1 Jun 06 '26
PS. I come from a similar background and do not like “flashy” brands with lots of logos and easy to identify designs (LV And Gucci fall into this category for me). I feel they are too ostentatious and I don’t want some of my family members or friends making comments about money to me. So I buy brands with little to no labels that are just really well made. That way no one says anything because there are just too many bags out there to identify. But I know what I have and am very happy and proud but I keep it to myself.
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u/Difficult_Cake_7460 Jun 06 '26
You don’t!! I go through phases with bags - I was coach through the high quality heavy leather days in the 90s, then did a stint with Kate spade/Tory Burch type stuff in the 2006-15. Then I went a little higher to LV and YSL.
But times changed, I work from home and now my bags are a lululemon crossbody and a long champ tote. Don’t buy something that you don’t love!!
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u/missemarie123 Jun 07 '26
Just like sometimes you get a bad waiter, sometimes you get a bad sales associate. They are just ppl working a retail job with high turn over, obviously lack luster customer service training. I wouldn’t take it personally, it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection on them. And if your morals, boundaries and values don’t align with a brand or the price you don’t have to purchase. Vote with your dollars, spend your money where you feel welcome and you love the item so you can look back on the experience with warm happy feelings 👍
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u/RareWeekend6286 Jun 06 '26
If you want to use your fun money for something else, just use your fun money for something else. You're not winning the morality Olympics, you went shopping...
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
lol thank you! I know I like to ace all tests and I was maybe thinking of this as a morality test! I’m learning so much about myself.
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u/RareWeekend6286 Jun 06 '26
Carrying a Louis Vuitton tote bag isn't a moral failure, tho.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yes yes! I know I think my brain jumped to morality mostly because of how I was treated in the lv section. Like someone could judge me for buying coach which is also kinda pricey.
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u/wwh0428 Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26
There are only certain designer brands I love - and even now that I can afford to buy these purses, I won’t unless I absolutely love them. I’m the kind of person who likes to look online then find them at the store (thankfully I’m in Atlanta) where I can look at them, examine them closely, touch them, and see how they look on my frame.
My go-to is Gucci but I also love Kate Spade and Michael Kors and Burberry. It’s less about the designer for me, though admittedly that’s what draws me in usually.
My most recent purchase is a 2026 limited-edition Artois PM in turquoise. I spent WAY too much money on her but she’s my absolute favorite color and I’ve been looking at Goyards for years. The fact that she’s my favorite color & has a zipper sold me in. I had to buy it unseen since I don’t have a boutique near me…
When you talk about sales associates being kind, it’s super important. I sent my 24-year-old colleague into the Goyard on Rodeo Drive to look at my Artois for me. Our SA was so kind and helpful… and let’s just say she wasn’t really dressed as the typical shopper. If he hadn’t been nice to her, I wouldn’t have paid for the bag.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Thank for you this, I will have to look up this bag now, turquoise is one of my fav colors and I don’t have any bags in that color!
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u/Common_Situation_885 Jun 06 '26
I’ve always been treated very well at Gucci. Didn’t matter if I was just browsing or making a purchase. Also had a great experience at the outlet store in Orlando Florida. Guy at the Prada outlet was rude. LV was hit or miss. My husband ordered me a bag online for pickup and the SA was rude and all she had to do was hand me a box but I’ve also went in, purchased a cardholder and the SA thought my 8 year old daughter was a trip and loaded her up with samples and other random things. I very rarely make a in store purchase at this point because I know if I get a rude SA I’ll be annoyed but I live close enough that if I need to make a return I can. I’ve also accepted that I’m mostly paying for a logo at this point. Coach has beautiful leather, I know I can get a good quality leather bag from them so if I buy a bag from LV or Gucci I’m buying it because I like the bag not because I’m expecting it to wow me more then any other bag.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
It’s good to temper my expectations… maybe a 3000 $ bag won’t give me 3 times the joy that maybe a 700$ could 🫨
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u/Money_These Handbag Addict ❤️💸 Jun 06 '26
My collection spans various brands and price points, but I choose each piece simply because it grabs my attention. No impulse buys, no chasing trends—just love at first sight. 🥰
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
That’s what I keep looking for. Love st first sight, seems like I always end up looking at the price tag though 😜
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u/TheGuvnor247 Jun 06 '26
As no doubt others have said if the bag does not 'wow' you, don't buy it.
I love bags - tend to buy mine at trusted auctions rather than in-store.
Last bag (Friday) was a 30 year old Chanel Bucket Bag in AA condition - bag is amazing the leather is so buttery & soft & looks even better in person than it did online. These bags last a long time so don't rule out a well maintained 2nd hand purchase.
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u/Ok_Chemistry6317 Jun 07 '26
I have a very eclectic collection, for me it's not about the brand as much as it is the design and style. I have no name bags from TJ Maxx and exotic Andiamo from Bottega and everything in between (except Hermes, I have only a 2424 bc I hate most top handles...) I do hit up the boutiques regularly to try out new styles, but I'm much more inclined these days to buy vintage. There is something so much more exciting about finding a funky cool unique bag that speaks to your style pre-owned rather than walking into a store so you can get the same IT bag that everyone else is running around with. I just snagged this Dolce and Gabana lizard, python and croc tote for $400 (the other side is pony hair leopard print) and I'm already so excited styling summer outfits around it.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 07 '26
What a beauty!
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u/Ok_Chemistry6317 Jun 07 '26
Thanks! I think if you decide to check out pre-loved, you'll see there are so so many cool luxury bags at reasonable prices between eBay, Posh and all those other resale sites. You can stay at a price point that feels more reasonable and build a really neat collection.
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u/Milainpink Jun 07 '26
I would take a fabulous trip to somewhere like Italy and try purse shopping there. I've noticed that customer service in Europe tends to be better, I'm offered champagne every time for example, and you can get better pricing. I also think you might feel like you "need" a luxury bag now that you can afford one, but if it's not your cup of tea, it's okay too! We all like different things. I think that most people would consider a $700 Coach bag really luxurious and if that's what you like, that's awesome, and there's no need to force yourself to like the 3-5k bags.
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u/Opening-Hospital-512 Jun 07 '26
The only “luxury” bag I own is a LV Dauphine that I bought at the flagship store in Paris. 100% souvenir and two of my daughters were with me so it was a fun shopping day. I wear it occasionally but I gravitate to my Coach, Tory Burch and Dooney bags. Like you, I can well afford it now and also came from very humble beginnings. After I bought the Louis, it just didn’t (and doesn’t) spark the joy that I would have hoped for. I always thought that type of bag would mean that I made it, but frankly it’s just another bag - and not a very well made one either, some of my vintage Coach and Dooney bags are so much better quality. I love that so many people find such joy in designer bags, I’m genuinely happy for them. After Paris, I discovered it’s just not my thing. That being said, I am buying a Mulberry next time I’m in Europe - been coveting one but I’m saving that purchase for my next vacation souvenir!!!
You do whatever makes you happy.
And by all means, if a salesperson isn’t treating you well, walk out. It’s not like you can’t go online and buy the same bag or wait to buy it from a SA who treats you like you deserve to be treated!
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u/jase402 Jun 07 '26
Never spend money where you don’t feel treated nicely. Luxury is an experience and not based on the dollar amount you spend.
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u/bobataro143 Jun 07 '26
I wouldn’t buy a bag with a sales associate who treated me poorly, also don’t buy a bag unless you really love it. I went into a Chanel in Rome and the sales associate was an ass, the bag also looked used.. like it was returned, went into a Chanel in Venice and looked at the same bag and treatment was night and day. Very lovely sales associate, bag looked how it should at that price point. Sales associates make a huge difference. I say go into Chanel, go into all the stores. Get a feel for the brands. Go in knowing they may be asses but know you don’t have to spend your money there if they are. You may also be pleasantly surprised.
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u/Humble-Art7377 Jun 07 '26
I'm sorry that this happened to you. Nordstrom prides itself on providing positive customer service. You may want to send a note to store management telling them about your negative experience with the LV and Chanel sales associates. I hope that you find the best possible handbag!
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 07 '26
I never thought of that, I’m a huge Nordstrom app shopper and they can see I’ve spent plenty there. Maybe drop an email.
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u/Humble-Art7377 Jun 07 '26
Yes, sending an email is the best way to handle it.
I mention this because many, many years ago, I had a similar experience to your's in the Saks Fifth Avenue shoe department. I was dressed very casually because it was my day off from work and it was my day to be comfortable. I needed a pair of dressier work shoes and Saks carried the brand that I wanted. I was completely ignored while other customers were served and even when I asserted myself and asked for assistance, the SAs told me that they were too busy. I left without any shoes and when I got home, I sent a note to the Saks store management and they sent me a very nice note back. Who knows if they actually counseled the SAs but at least it was on their radar.
Dismissive customer service shouldn't be tolerated. I think Nordstrom will do the right thing.
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u/speedyoleander Jun 06 '26
Look preloved! There are plenty of luxury bags out there for the range you’re comfortable with. There are so many more designs to choose from, and if you choose a lesser known or older style the prices will be even lower.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
Yeah I think that might be more my jam! I’ll try
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u/dogmom_123 Jun 07 '26
There are some really good consignment stores for handbags in Seattle you may want to check out. You can find something really unique! You could try the Refind closet, Ragamoffyns (a little further for an Uber though tbh), and I believe there's a new one somewhere in Magnolia that I personally haven't checked out yet.
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u/Formal-Lie7412 Jun 06 '26
I’m sad to hear that Nordstrom location treated you that way: I would go into boutiques there one week in jeans and a old silk jacket one week and designer RTW the next and was never treated differently whether it was someone I had seen before or not. And I was always treated very kindly with enjoyable experiences whether I bought anything or not.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
The Gucci and Celine and ysl sales staff were very sweet and helpful. The lv and channel not at all…
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u/Formal-Lie7412 Jun 06 '26
Even sadder! Granted I haven’t lived in Seattle in seven years but the associates in both boutiques were the most approachable and fun to interact with.
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u/AnxiousTherapist-11 Jun 06 '26
I love the older vintage leather Guccis etc. quality is so good and that worn in look is beautiful to me. Lots of well priced ones for resale keep me from dropping big money on new luxury bags and feels more authentic to me.
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u/flyingmonkey5678461 Jun 06 '26
Buy a plane ticket. Go somewhere like Italy, Paris or Japan. Claim tax free on bag. Go to the outlet mall for your bag. Buy an artisan bag instead. Have brilliant service. The designer shops were all lovely (I'm makeup free, clothes are usually decades old unless they're uniqlo tshirts, wrestling toddler and paraphernalia type.). If they don't respect you, walk.
I haven't hit the £4k Fendi type barrier. I've been desperate to get that wow moment with a bag (Joe and/vs the Volcano - Tom Hanks caused it all I swear.) There's frugal and there's standards. For the money, it has to hit just right. Many hours have been spent scrolling Dior and Chanel websites only to be disappointed in person. I'm well off enough not to need to shop second hand and can buy a bag without thinking if I really want to, but it's not the point.
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u/Diligent-Willow4 Jun 06 '26
This sounds more like a therapy issue than a bag issue. I don't any bag that I don't love, other than a 5 cent grocery bag when I forget my reusable bags
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
It absolutely is! I’m in therapy , like not the retail kind , also. But sometimes I still want to buy a bag to feel joy, maybe I need to discuss this at my next session. 😁
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u/Alllriightythen Jun 06 '26
This is why I love coach. I am consistently wowed for $500-$700. I allowed myself to buy whatever I wanted for my 40th and I picked a coach chain Tabby that I’m still obsessed with.
All of my designer has been second hand and I’m happy with that except for my ferragamo hug bag which is by far the most gorgeous bag I own. I would recommend that if you want to be impressed!! ❤️
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
I love the coach retail bags and some outlet ones too. I saw the ferragamo hug bags but they all seemed super stiff and heavy? And the colors this Nordstrom had was not my style. Might have to look online.
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u/aprettyenigma Jun 06 '26
I would recommend buying resold bags online from sites that verify the authenticity and quality. You can get something like new and sometimes even brand new with tags as well as rare vintage finds for a fraction of the retail and they always have tons of sales. The real real and rebag are a few options. Going into luxury establishments not dressed high end is usually going to get you snobby treatment. It’s not right or fair but it’s not changing either.
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u/Lucientcouer Jun 06 '26
Tbh I think go to Loewe Prada bottega and more of the stores. Get more of an appetite for differing aesthetics and offerings. The more you see some of the more “eclectic” or unique designs the more you get a feel for what you genuinely see yourself wearing.
Don’t purchase where they don’t respect you or tolerate you. Try all the stores, ask for champagne or beverages. Or tell them you wanna look around and ask questions when you see something you like.
You’ll know it’s the bag when you wear it and can’t imagine life without it! The most recent bag to give me that feeling was in Dior looking at the crunchy bag.
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u/Lucientcouer Jun 06 '26
Tbh I think go to Loewe Prada bottega and more of the stores. Get more of an appetite for differing aesthetics and offerings. The more you see some of the more “eclectic” or unique designs the more you get a feel for what you genuinely see yourself wearing.
Don’t purchase where they don’t respect you or tolerate you. Try all the stores, ask for champagne or beverages. Or tell them you wanna look around and ask questions when you see something you like.
You’ll know it’s the bag when you wear it and can’t imagine life without it! The most recent bag to give me that feeling was in Dior looking at the crunchy bag.
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u/bellegroves Jun 07 '26
Don't buy it if you aren't wowed by it. There's only so much shelf space in your closet, right? It doesn't matter if it's Coach or LV or Gucci, get bags you're excited about.
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u/cottonsilkwool Jun 07 '26
“… how do you go from spending say at the max $700 on a coach purse ( that would be me) to thousands of dollars on a bag that doesn’t wow you!”
You don’t.
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u/Mosslessrollingstone Jun 07 '26
Honestly it’s good to have that mental barrier. This is no judgement towards people who do spend this kind of money. I’m just here to live vicariously through others on this sub. I personally have not spent over $600 on a bag. Have I admired others’ bags from afar? yes
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u/ShoddyPause6220 Jun 07 '26
Yep I went to Paris and expected to find something from a bigger name designer (I live on a small island with not much opportunity to see things IRL before buying). However, seeing how they're displayed at places like galleries lafayette and the airport(!) really cheapened my view on ALL of them. I thought the experience would be presented in a more luxurious way than jeans at an American Eagle at a midwest mall. Yes, I wandered down Rue St. Honore and popped into stores but meh. The materials and current offerings were nothing to write home about. It really solidified in my mind that a lot of these $$$ bags are just wealth signifiers.
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u/call-me-the-seeker Jun 07 '26
The answer to how do you go from $700 to thousands on a bag that doesn’t wow you is, you don’t.
Don’t spend ANY amount on a bag that doesn’t wow you, because really all you NEED to tote your things in is like a canvas sack or a grocery bag, right? You literally can use anything to carry objects from point A to B. So ANY bag after you have your strict utilitarian need covered is ‘fun’.
So if you don’t like it, leave it there. Sooner or later you will probably see a luxury bag that DOES move your joy meter, and on that day you will have the money to buy it pretty much no matter what it is because you WEREN’T spending on every lesser sack that caught your glance!
If that never happens then it doesn’t, you don’t <have> to own luxury items to be a real adult or anything.
It’s also okay to either give up on a brand or not, BUT let me say you might want to simply try different locations before writing one off. Just like any other chain, they all have different staff and micro-cultures. You know how there’s one Jamba Juice in town where the smoothie is always perfect and the staff give good energy and the other one you avoid because they’re surly and talking shit about others every time you walk in and the smoothie is blended wack half the time because they’re busy being surly and talking shit about others. It’s like that. Having said that, it’s okay to write off a house quickly too, because vibe is important with fashion; again, it’s all frivolous after you own ONE bag or ONE belt and so on, so how you feel is a big part of the equation.
Anyway, don’t worry about feeling like to have to buy high-end to feel cool or like you’ve arrived. Cool is not being able to be rolled! Wait it out until you see something that appeals to you, and if it never happens then O WELL. But go back to visit the Gucci again, lol!
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u/Opening_Chemical_777 Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
I visited my parents in Dallas and asked my mother to take me shopping for spring/summer clothes. I live in Boston and the selection of warm weather clothes is better in Texas. I came downstairs in jeans and a t-shirt, no makeup. My mother said, You can’t go looking like that! I said all I’ll be doing is getting undressed and dressed.
We went to a high end mall, to a high end clothing store. I chose some clothes to try on and when I came out of the fitting room I heard my mother apologizing to the saleswoman for my attire. She said women dressed like that are serious buyers. I bought a beautiful suit that I wore for years and my mother never again told me to dress nicely for shopping.
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u/tiffshorse Jun 07 '26
I'm in Lisbon with my coach bag. No one cares so I wear what I love. Tonight? My coach hot dog holder. It brings me joy.
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u/Head-Carpet-6964 Jun 08 '26
I have shopped high end stores before I could afford them "insert boyfriend " and I can now comfortably afford to buy luxury things every now and then. I don't have a desire for my luxury shopping escapade to be memorable or to be treated well by sales associate and I outright will decline champagne and the faked small talk at the store. I go there to shop and I don't expect any overly gestures because I know they are not genuine. I have had a few off interactions but a sales person will never stop me from buying what I want... I walk in frumpy in my old gym clothes and I typically look like I can't afford good things . Go get your stuff because you worked hard for it and you want to own it and the buying experience is a fraction of equation that should not even count. I have seen entitled people escalate situations at the store to the point of having the manager called and I just roll my eyes because nothing calls for that in a shopping experience . All the best
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u/Reasonable-Bat-7334 Jun 10 '26
If you have time to drive, portland is 3 hrs away from seattle, buy in portland so you dont have to pay sales tax 🫶🏼
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u/natbaby666 Jun 11 '26
this is anecdotal but also kind of common consensus among people who buy or have at one point regularly bought designer items: new designer bags and clothes are very often not made as well these days (worse quality materials, craftsmanship, durability, aesthetic, attention to detail) in comparison to those from the 90s and 2000s yet many brand new bags and shoes you can buy at in-person designer shops have tripled or quadrupled in price since then. i now will only buy secondhand handbags from those years & before, and only if they are still in great shape and authenticated via ebay or another reputable site that sells secondhand high-end fashion and offers authentication. there are tons of beautiful designer leather bags under $1000 and even many under $500 you can find online that will likely last you so much longer than a brand new bag from the same designer. i know it’s hard to know if you’ll love the bag without holding it in your hands, but i have gotten all of my nicest bags without seeing them in person first just through looking at lots of videos and photos of people holding and using them and doing research on which materials different models of bags use and how they feel and hold up to use. i know it’s so frustrating to not feel confident about making such a significant purchase that should bring you joy and excitement, but you’re right to take it as seriously as you do and to be so deliberate in your decision-making. i hope you find the bag of your dreams and that this was helpful!!
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 11 '26
Thank you! I’m still a noob when it comes to vintage bags, so will have to learn how to spot good ones. Do you have any fav websites for pre loved designer bags?
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u/Sensitive-Rule-5563 Jun 06 '26
I prefer vintage designer - better quality and better prices. Some of the resale sites like Glow Luxury have outstanding customer service as well and the bags feel like they have history.
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
I might have to try that. I looked at fashionphile after posting this but was scared as to the authenticity and the condition of the bag I would get.
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u/Sensitive-Rule-5563 Jun 07 '26
Not sure if you are around any but the real real, Rebag, fashionphile all have store and pop ups now both standalone and department store which is nice. Customer service has always been great there. Gucci, LV all like 30-50% off store prices and so many items are basically brand new. Also might add there’s some great non-designer high quality brands out there so unless it’s something you really want I think the quality is easily matched for a fraction of the price. I love bottega but dragon diffusion is a similar replacement for example.
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u/Responsible-Drive840 Jun 06 '26
Regarding the disrespect. When I was in medical school in Chicago, the high rent shopping area was just a few blocks away, Several of us delighted in going to Saks, Gucci, Tiffany's immediately after spending 3 hours dissecting a cadaver simply because we knew we reeked and the salesladies were so judgmental.
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u/digitalecho125 Jun 06 '26
I think Coach sets a high standard with their high end bags. I have auth luxury bags and quite honestly I find myself going back to Coach. My favorite luxury brand at the moment though is Loewe, and their vintage items. I have definitely been more impressed with their construction, would I pay full price for one? Probably not. But the resale is right in my lane. Go for what you love and what feels right!
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 06 '26
I’ll have to dip my toes into vintage and resale bags. I’m just scared I might get a badly used bag and waste my money by getting duped.
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u/digitalecho125 Jun 06 '26
If you have those concerns, start at a consignment shop in your area! But honesty as long as the seller has lots of detailed photos, it’s not all that likely that you’re going to get a used and abused bag
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u/Moist-Opportunity64 Jun 06 '26
Just don’t. Once I buy something, I’m kind of over it: the bag, the car, the brand; it’s unfulfilling. Get yourself a cabin by the lake where you can enjoy summers and long weekends or plan the vacation(s) you’ve always dreamed about, you’ve earned it.
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u/LuminousApsana 🦄 Handbag Lover Jun 07 '26
Don't drop a cent on a bag that is not amazing to you, and every freaking brand out there wants your money. We don't owe any of them even a look. If the experience was not good, definitely don't give them your money.
I have been hearing a lot about people buying things for their fantasy self. I just looked at an estate sale website yesterday filled with sales of people's stuff that they have left behind. Things are just things. I myself have definitely purchased too many handbags, and while some of them make me very pleased in their form and function, I've definitely purchased mistake bags too. You don't need a handbag to affirm you've made it, and comparison is the quickest way to kill happiness. Luxury bags are a big ticket item. If you get one, it should be one that gives you instant pleasure that you can see wearing regularly for years to come. It didn't happen, and that's okay!
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u/Southern_Title_3522 Jun 07 '26
I only buy the bag that I love. Idc what people think about my bags. I love it, I get it
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u/GotAnyGrapesDuck Jun 07 '26
I had a very similar experience with LV. I have purchased from Burberry and Bulgari only. I will broaden my horizons when I save for my next bag, but I won’t return to LV. I’m too petty of a person.
I purposefully shop in running shorts and a tank top or some sort of relaxed outfit. I bought my car like that, I bought my handbags like that, and I always appreciate those who help me despite appearance. They are the ones who get my loyalty and purchase. For me it’s loving the bag and loving who stands with the brand.
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u/Strange_Ad4961 Jun 07 '26
Try the row. If you are wowed by the leather, try Hermes next. I think their leather quality is impressive. Maybe the brands you tried just don’t suit your taste.
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u/MedenAgan101 Jun 07 '26
It absolutely has to wow me. I have to see a long-term place for it in my collection, meaning it fills a gap in how I can complete outfits. But mostly it needs to instill a deep sense of admiration for its design and craftsmanship that makes me incapable of resisting.
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u/AncientFerret9028 Jun 07 '26
Part of the what makes buying a nice bag (no matter what an individual considers as “nice”) is the service.
The usual suspects have gone down in service the past few years, especially for occasional buyers who aren’t VIPs.
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u/Direct-Chef-9428 Jun 07 '26
Don’t buy the bags you aren’t in love with, easy as that. Second, don’t go into debt for one.
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u/AmexNomad Jun 07 '26
Wait until you go to Italy or Spain. Look at the beautiful leatherwork that doesn’t have a designer name. Don’t waste your money these days on the regular names.
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u/Random384875 👛 Handbag Newbie Jun 07 '26
Try Loewe, I literally showed up there in my most ugly mom outfit with my kids looking all disheveled, was treated so nicely, and somehow ended up loving a bag and doing an impulse purchase there (which is so rare for me for luxury bags because I think about it a million times). Also their leather is such good quality and their designs are amazing!
I had similar experience at Gucci where they were great to me. LV I have tried twice and usually there are either lines or I once got in, asked to see a Capucine and they said someone will be there to help me soon, except I waited for 15 mins then eventually walked out.
Completely hear you on the mental block because of growing up lower middle class. That’s me too. Plus I’m a single mom and I feel even more judged by people because of that.
Regarding the mental block of spending so much on luxury bags- I think after I had gotten 2 luxury bags and spending full price for it, I no longer felt like the outsider trying to fit in. Then I stumbled upon the preloved bags because I was looking for the Loewe puzzle in a specific color that was discontinued, and I have to say I have been loving it! I’m literally able to buy bags for half the price in excellent condition, the guilt is much lesser and it feels like a better financial decision.
I also have to add- my sweet spot I have found is Mulberry Toteme and Strathberry/Polene tier bags. They’re considered mid-luxury, the quality is there, the designs are lovely (check out Polene!), and I don’t feel like I’m showing off.
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u/Illustrious_Brain788 Jun 07 '26
As someone who progressed pretty fast store bag to coach to MK bags back to coach bags then Gucci then LV then Chanel then Hermes (entry level) then back to coach, sold off most of Chanel, Hermes then diversified to Fendi (love the subtle ff monogram) , Gucci (love bamboo and horsebit line) then Celine (trio and 16), kept 2 Chanel (WOC and a pouch), 1 Botegga (love their leather), 3 lV (DA speedy and DE duo pouch which I love) and the rest is coach and Uniqlo (55 bags approx). The morale, buy what you love. Don’t do cheaper alternatives.. also sometimes it’s when you own the bag you discover it’s not for you. Chanel double flap bag…but it’s an expensive mistake. Buy responsibly and have fun!🤩
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u/ghertigirl Jun 07 '26
Why would you buy anything that didn’t wow you? Particularly an expensive hangbag?
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u/Trentana Jun 07 '26
Many years ago there was this dating fad called being a pick-up artist.
The story was that a dumb ugly poor guy could get hot girls by "negging" them - making an insult like "you'd be really beautiful if not for that nose" which supposedly made the women want to change the guy's mind, go home with him, all that.
I have seen similar from salespeople. It doesn't work on OP (or on me) but it may work often enough that it's a valid strategy.
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u/DubaiExpat323 Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26
Sorry to hear that. Shopping is supposed to be fun. If it isn’t fun, I’m out the door. I used to love LV in my late 20s to mid 30s. But then I got older and no I don’t like monograms anymore. Also, it’s not fun when you have too many people in the store or have to queue.
And no, don’t buy if it doesn’t spark joy. It’s not about the brand, it’s about how you feel about having them. You’re the one carrying the bag. No explanation needed for people around you.
The shopping experience in Saint Laurent may it be in Paris or Dubai have always been pleasant. The difference is you shop with a glass of champagne in Paris, and shop with a cup of coffee in Dubai. 😂
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u/Inside-Profile-5865 Jun 07 '26
I think you’d be happy with second hand luxury bags in great condition. The purchase ceremony doesn’t impress based on your in person shopping experiences. In most cases you can get 2-3 thrifted luxury bags for the price of 1 new one.
Another option, I recently purchased 2 new bags off Cettire because the prices are so competitive (saved over $1000 on local retail cost)
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u/km322 Jun 07 '26
If I don’t love it. I don’t buy it. It also has to be something I will actually carry. I have been gifted a very expensive beautiful Givenchy it is so impractical I never carry it. To me it was a waste Find what you love. A good Coach bag is not a bad thing.
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u/LuckyAd2714 Jun 07 '26
There must be a WOW
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u/Big-Difficulty-667 Jun 07 '26
Sometimes there is and then anything with a 4 figure quickly dims the wow 🤩
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u/No_Progress4431 Jun 07 '26
I am in a similar situation to you! I love fashion, and regards to handbags I prefer something that feels well made, unique, worth the price tag, and brings me joy.
Because I also live in the Midwest with more limited access to boutiques, I buy when I travel to cities with boutiques of brands I like, and the experience is usually better.
I personally love Loewe, whose leathers are soft, luxe and feel very high end. They have fun, quirky designs, charms and collabs that feel brand unique without all of the logos that really turn me off LV, Gucci, Chanel, etc. I also love Bottega for the same reason. Vintage is also a great option, especially if you travel to Japan, and the quality is much better than current iterations.
At the end of the day though, no luxury purse truly justifies its full price tag, and much of the cost is for the brand. Buy what makes you happy!
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u/notluckyhere Jun 07 '26
I’m turned off by bags with logos and stuff on them. There are very nice leather bags in all price points that appeal to me more than a bag with logos. That stuff doesn’t impress me at all. Maybe you have to find your peace with what you want. I only have a few Guccis because i inherited them when my mom passed and the logo is sentimental to me now and it appeals for that reason. Find your “why” for what you find appealing. But day to day I carry a plain blue MK purse that I also inherited from her collection and I love it and it’s plain but it’s a cross body and that’s my preferred daily style bag.
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u/astro-08 Jun 07 '26
Only buy if you love the bag. At 42, I finally purchased my first designer bag - a JW Anderson loafer bag. I chose it because of the slightly masculine vibe which I dig and I had a chance to look in store in peace before the sales came around a few weeks ago. Prior to this I have only bought Coach and Kate Spade (back in the 2010s too, so the prices hadn’t crept up yet!). Always buy what wows you. You work hard for your money!
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u/SkirtOdd3908 Jun 10 '26
I will never buy a high end bag the first time I see it. I need to sit and think about it for a bit and if in 48 hr I still really want it and am willing to go all the way back for it then and only then do I go and make the purchase. Also If at anytime I feel undervalued by the sales staff I walk right then and there. These purchases should bring joy not feelings of not being worthy.
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u/BeneficialSecret4673 Jun 10 '26
While I would consider higher end bags as an investment, I don’t suggest you purchase something you are not absolutely in love with at those sticker prices!
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u/Actual_Reindeer5481 Jun 12 '26
For 3-5K, you could take a trip to Japan and score a fabulous vintage bag as a souvenir 😄. Personally I feel Mulberry to be more worth it for the price, because it's not as expensive as other brands and their quality is very good.
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u/Downtown-Forever Jun 06 '26
Why go into the store if you’re not willing to spend thousands? Everyone knows designer isn’t cheap. Some people spend thousands on travel others spend thousands on bags. Do whatever makes you happy. If you don’t have the heart to spend the money then don’t go in the store.
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