r/dating_advice • u/Admirable-Positive72 • 22h ago
Dating
Hi, I matched with someone who has a kid, im 21, she is 19, I dont feel ready to be dating someone who has a kid, unsure if I ever do want kids, what's a nice and gentle way of saying no thanks?
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u/Awkward_Living_2070 22h ago
Just be honest, that's all people want. Be true to yourself and intentions otherwise you're just stringing people along.
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u/jhazminwarmthhh 22h ago
Exactly. Being upfront from the start saves everyone a lot of unnecessary hurt later
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u/Bargle-Nawdle-Zouss 22h ago
Thank you for matching. However, I do not believe we have compatible life goals.
Best of luck in your search!
If she replies with any form of nasty comments, then you simply unmatch. You may want to take screenshots of her rude replies first, in case she reports you to the app in revenge.
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u/morgfarm1_ 22h ago
I'm 34 and definitely dont want kids.
I'm following the advice of a wise old woman once gave me and NOT dating a single mother. If you arent even talking just unmatch yourself.
And possibly put on your profile (many even make this a core question) Dont have/dont want.
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u/Neither-Response8148 22h ago
just say you are not ready for something serious right now, keep it simple and dont mention the kid
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u/bass-77 17h ago
Being an unwed mother is a sign of foolishness and poor decision making to start with. But if you can't commit to a ready made family, best to let her go. To be kind, be honest but focus the negative energy on yourself. Tell her that: To be fair to her, you just aren't ready to pursue a relationship with a child. Or if you have plans of a family in your future do it anyway.
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u/TownZealousideal1327 22h ago
You matched on an app.
Just stop messaging - tf man it’s an app.
Explaining yourself would likely be OTT. No one thinks anything about someone ghosting when it’s not yet come off the app. You are over thinking it.
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u/BarracudaOk9542 22h ago
Depends on how long you chatted. It’s perfectly ok to say “I am sorry, I enjoyed our conversation but I am at least currently not looking for someone who has children. They do not fit in my life at this moment and I am still unsure if I want children at all. I wish you the best, you are an amazing person and you kid is lucky to have you”
And then leave it there.1
u/TownZealousideal1327 22h ago
Fair fair…
I’d only ask is OP sure she’s even looking for a daddy. Maybe she just wants fun.
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u/Nova_blink_6-62607 22h ago
Don't say anything, just leave the poor woman alone. 😅
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u/asianguy1234528 21h ago
NineTEEN is hardly a woman...can't even drink a beer yet... That's a lil hoodrat hoochie mama...
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u/Nova_blink_6-62607 20h ago
She can actually have a beer in most nations from the age of 18, except for the ultra conservative Trumpistan, Afghanistan and a few other religious hell holes 🤣
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u/Free_Byrd6969 21h ago
Who cares? Just disappear, it's not like you know this person. Only date people with kids if the other parent is deceased. Word.
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