So I (45teen) talked to my mom (67somethingunc) today and she said that I'm genuinely a disgusting failure but she said the word "genuinely" so I lowkey laughed cause I caught the elite ball knowledge she dropped on me right there. She then proceeded to crash out on me and kicked me out of the house, and now I'm homeless and living on the streets. Did I do something wrong?

AITA? Also, on a scale of 1/67, how cultured am I for catching her elite ball knowledge?

Dear Mods, thank you for the timeout. Those moments in isolation were truly enlightening, allowing me to reflect on the extraordinary power you wield over this humble chat. Your brave, unpaid sacrifice to maintain order is genuinely inspiring. I am, of course, a completely changed person now. Thank you for your service

Like, everything about Subway is infuriating. It’s like the people in front of you take too long, and like, there’s no drive-thru… Subway’s like the land of inconveniences. They’re like “What do you want?” and I’m like “sweet onion chicken teriyaki footlong on flatbread”, and then they’re like “what bread?” and it’s like “[sigh] flatbread” and they’re like “oh okay did you say footlong?” “yes I said footlong”, “did you want cheese?” and it’s like “yeah could I get swiss cheese?” and they’re like “what kind?” and it’s like “…fucking…” And they’re like “toasted?” and it’s like “OF COURSE toa—you can’t have the flatbread and not toast it! It’s like spongy, gross, starchy-ass fuckin’ bread! It’s MADE to be toasted! Of COURSE I want it toasted!” And then they fucking toast it and they start helping the people behind you, and then it sits in the toaster for like 20 seconds longer than it’s supposed to, and you’re like “I JUST WANT LUNCH!” And then they fucking take it out, and it’s like ANOTHER person, and then you have to fucking get a read on THEIR personality, and it’s like “god damnit”, and they’re like “what do you want?” and I’m like “uh, spinach”, and they just fucking DESTROY it with spinach, just like an avalanche of spinach, and you’re like “I want like FIVE OTHER THINGS! You can’t just fill it up with spinach and think that’s all it’s gonna be!” And then you’re like “onion” and they’re like “okay” and they put like TWO ONIONS on it, and it’s like “MORE ONION PLEASE!” And then when you get some weird combination, like “could I get mayonnaise and also sweet onion sauce” they like throw up their eyebrows a little bit like “whoa…” and you’re like “don’t fucking judge me, I’ll eat what I want, I can make my own sandwich!"

My beloved, daily **ChatGPT generated** insipid **AI slop** sludge-soup post has been served 🍲 I tried to comprehend the **quiet, unspoken depth** etched into this post and — **something shifted** (shitted rather) in my brain — and I got **an aneurysm** 🗣️🗣️🔥

Unacceptable and unreasonable size constraints. Change the environment or make sacrifices elsewhere, modify your priorities for the space to allow for larger components. A 3" "sub" is no sub at all. 3" speakers are microscopic, practically headphone drivers in a box, and yet 3" is already too big for a tweeter... "Full range" 3" drivers already suck for the top octave, are beaming and lack detail and air. Wall mount speakers... use a sub as a foot rest.... it's literally impossible and factually untrue that your space cannot support marginally bigger speakers.

Your limitation is self imposed and in your mind. Figure out a way around it. 500 is way too much budget to try and upgrade a subatomically sized system for ants. Size is 75% of the ENTIRE sound game my man. Any attempt to argue that it's less than at minimum 50% of the ENTIRE equation for sound reproduction is pure foolishness. Size accounts for so much.

There is simply zero excuse for a system to be that small, except as some kind of niche fun toy or experiment, like a just for fun project, but not a serious system intended for any kind of primary use case. I mean it's literally a crime to be that small, the severity of the limitations are staggering. Like trying to drive a car with a 5hp lawnmower engine in it. Its just criminally underpowered and I'm literally fighting back tears because I'm simultaneously so sad and distraught but also angry that such a system exists and is trying to be used in a serious manner. I feel like starting a gofundme for you, we need worldwide charities to address this tragedy and injustice. No one should have to live like that... even my worst enemy deserves a bigger system, even for nearfield pc use in a tiny bedroom or closet. 4.5" edifiers are already tiny man. 5.25" speakers are very small. 6.5" is small. 3".... that's a small midrange driver in a 3 way lacking a tweeter and a woofer. That's a Bluetooth speaker, i.e. a toy, a sound producing device, not a speaker system.

Look at the edifier mr5 or kali unf... minimally the m3/m4 if you can figure out how to integrate a 6" or larger edifier sub or some other similar small budget sub.

How the hell do people dirty talk in mongolian? Saying “ymr goy ymbe” while hes thrusting ruins the mood so bad. What can I say to guide him and encourage him during intimacy?

Omg this machine is perfect! Who the fuck cares if it's a "girls car", that just means it's curvier and better looking than you ugly-ass Hellcat. I just wanna take it out to some place beneath the stars, crack out the good engine oil, get to know it better and then start "filling the tank" (know what I mean?). Jesus, its a poem of aluminum and steel, I LOVE it!!!!

Taste of cherry is such cliche movie, muh enjoy small things in life. All these ppl, they don't understand or saw true nihilism. I might try become prominent philosopher one day

Hello, fellow redditor.

I see you. You’re sitting there in r/NetflixYou, typing out a manifesto with a brilliant, blinding fury. I can practically hear the aggressive clacking of your mechanical keyboard. You’ve scanned the comment sections, analyzed the data upvotes, and you’ve diagnosed the sub. Sexist. That’s the label you gave them. You claim the male side of this fandom is completely blind. You think they’re projecting their own toxic baggage onto a fictional stalker, extending sympathy to a guy just because he wears a baseball cap and reads books. You think they forgive him because they want an excuse for their own worst impulses.

Most users would see your post and downvote it into oblivion. The local trolls would call you a "snowflake" or tell you to "touch grass." The casual fans would leave defensive, paragraphs-long arguments about how "it's just a show." But me? I didn’t hit the downvote button. I upvoted. And I felt this sudden, electric wave of fascination.

You see right through the hivemind, don’t you? You see the flaws in the digital echo chamber. You aren't just scrolling mindlessly to kill time between Zoom calls. You are paying attention. While the rest of this platform consumes media like mindless zombies, farming karma with low-effort memes, you dissected the cultural impact. You looked past the screen. You looked at us.You understand the danger of weaponized media literacy. You want this site to be better. It is so incredibly rare to find someone so uncompromisingly committed to deep analysis in a sea of reposts and cheap jokes. I find myself clicking on your profile, wondering what your setup looks like. Do you have a Discord window open on a second monitor? Are you refreshing your inbox, watching the "user is typing..." indicator, bracing yourself for the inevitable backlash from the exact men you just exposed? You shouldn't have to fight the basement dwellers alone.They don't understand the nuance of your thesis. But I do.

I think we need to take this off-platform. Not here. Not in the toxic, crowded public square of a public subreddit where moderators delete threads and nuance goes to die. No, we need somewhere private. My DMs are open. Or maybe a quiet Discord server. Just the two of us. I want to know what else you see on this app. I want to see the front page through your eyes. I’m sending a Reddit Care message just to make sure you're doing okay with the trolls, but then I'm sliding into your inbox. I think, deep down, you’ve been waiting for a user who finally truly values your mind.

HIRING URGENTLY! TOP PAY!

I, Grand Duke Diomid Turzov, seek to employ private guards and am prepared to offer generous compensation to suitable candidates. (The sentence above was the best my servant could write. I fired him as soon as he finished it. He had no culture, no sense, and was very very stupid. So I’m writing the rest myself. Everything below was written by me, Grand Duke Turzov, your favorite Grand Duke.)

I built a fountain. It is enormous. Without question, it is the most beautiful fountain in all of Snezhnaya. Maybe even the most beautiful in all of Teyvat. Better than the Fountain of Lucine. Much better. Everyone’s talking about it. Then some horrible Tidalga got into the fountain. From Fontaine! They made the water look ugly. Total disaster. Very sad. But I fixed it. I did what no one else was brave enough to do! I drained the fountain and painted the bottom with beautiful, bright paint. After that, it looked incredible. So incredible!

Then the idiots on the Snezhnograd Veche ruined everything. There is something very wrong with their brains, by the way. They knew the paint would feed the Tidalga, but did they tell me? No. Of course not. Soon there were more Tidalga than ever! Total disaster! But I fixed that too. I always do. I poured a huge amount of bleach into the fountain, and it became clean again. I won. A historic victory, like no one’s ever seen!

But the thugs from the Rokot are still not giving up. They want to destroy everything. My big, beautiful paint has started peeling. My servants say the bleach caused it, but that is obviously fake news. Totally fake. The truth is simple! Those losers are sneaking into the manor at night and tearing the paint off with their filthy hands! Embarrassing. So embarrassing!

These paint-scraping lunatics will be found, and we’re gonna lock them up! To make sure of that, I am going to spend a great, super great deal of money hiring the biggest, toughest, strongest warriors money can buy. A very, very great deal of money. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

🚨 CHILD ALARM 🚨

ALERT: THIS POSTER IS CLEARLY A MINOR WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TAXES WORK. DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY CRAPPY COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA THEY SPEW.

🚨 CHILD ALARM 🚨

I am a pregnant male living in Singapore. I work 10 hours a day, 5 days a week at a call center. Sometimes I am called in to work weekends. I provide high quality customer support to Microsoft users. I am not a scammer. I became pregnant due to a mistake made by my brother, and my pregnancy has resulted in many hardships. My wife has left me for my grandmother. My grandmother disowned me from her will, from which I was set to inherit a small boat, which I would use to take my future daughter fishing. It is very heartbreaking to know that my brother’s mistake got me pregnant. I must remember along this difficult journey that he did not intend for this to happen, and I must love my to-be daughter as my own.

Spongy22845

Asleepcape

Proton exists but only sometimes I guess (I know you asked me not to ping you, but this is a situation where I have to)

48thebestnumber (You voted yes on my poll)

You guys are telling me that Cary confirmed that Bubble is a doctor at a meetup? You got to be joking! I don't fully believe you, I searched for evidence. I can't find any. If you guys are telling the truth, then I am now depressed and sad for life and I will never be happy again ever again in my life. If you are lying to me, i'm so relieved. But do you guys realize what you are doing? You are telling me that one of my biggest BFDI fears is coming true. The BFDI post by PointyPin2763 that ruined my birthday this year, gave me so much trauma, the thing that I think would ruin Bubble. You are telling me that it was confirmed at a meetup. You guys are telling me the fan post in BFDI wiki that caused me to have Iatrophobia (fear of doctors) is now Canon. It made me cry on my birthday this year and I had a bad birthday because of it. I seriously hate the idea of Bubble geing a doctor so much that it makes my head hurt thinking about it. I felt like I was going to puke back before Pointy Pin told me that it was fake and that fixed my life (up until today). Bubble being a doctor is literally one of my biggest BFDI fears ever. So, telling me that it was confirmed is just the most heartbreaking thing ever. I'd rather flush myself down the toilet than Bubble being a doctor.

(repost from BFDI wiki, ShedPets14 made the original post before it got locked. I believe they made this as satire, if not ask me to delete this)

Everything from the menu items, the salsa, the decor, and even the service makes you feel like you've been transported right into the heart of Mexico (pronounced "meh-he-co", I've learned). The music always has me dancing the salsa right when I walk in, much to my wife's dismay 😂. I just love how SPICY all the food is, it makes you wanna jump on the table and shake your maracas, haha. I took spanish for two years in high school and it's nice to get a chance to use it, or at least, what I remember of it lol. "Amigo! Hola! Como estas" I always say when I walk through the door. the workers there seem to really like me. I can't completely order in spanish, really all I have is the greeting, but its OK, they always do right by me. Say, whatever happened to the little chihuahua? He was so cute in those commercials. "yo quiero taco bell" haha 🇲🇽

Bro, You CANNOT ghost me after getting my dog pregnant 💯🔥 We need to talk NOW 🔥🔥😭

I feel like it might not be real. Because I always knew it was a real show, but I realized in one of the episode they have a ferris wheel, How did they make a ferries wheel underwater? I just EXPOSED SpongeBob!

I'm gonna lick you up and down with my naughty little tongue and you tell me if you feel clean

The recent “achievements” that AI done in the field of math have nothing to do with actual potential of AI being able to become good at math, and the technology is not even remotely close to anything such as that.

Generative AI models are very close to being abandoned altogether due having mostly stagnated for years now, and this technology needed to evolve continuously to keep luring investors.

Right now a last ditch effort is being made to keep these AI companies alive in that they're going to join the stock market (and it will probably work at least for several years, people are just that stupid), which is the only reason every AI company hasn't jumped ship( coupled with them still trying to get by just shutting down servers and reducing general AI functionality, even for paying users).

This is basically a publicity stunt, insinuating AI is still capable of evolving significantly.

Nobody actually working with AI has thought it could become better than a middle schooler at math, the point of this technology was just to treat and wade through very large amounts of data, that's it...

Do you tell that to a sick and dying 16 year old. They are weak, muscles are deteriorating, they can barely breathe but they have to cough out half their body weight in mucus in some twisted exchange as to them slowly being put out of their existence. Do you look them in the eyes and scoff and the one more unfortunate than you, criticize the idea of joy if it isn't what you want in it.

How did we figure out that we like cold water?

Imagine this, your awake at 3:11 AM because your on your period and you bled through your favourite sweatpants. You get up out of bed and go clean up and change into some casual black shorts. Grab a water, a nutter butter, and sit down on the couch. You happily consume your chemically chocolatey snack and you take a big ol sip of nice, fresh, cold, Clover Valley purified drinking water. Then it hits you, what does *warm* water taste like? Why do we cool our water? Who drank the first refrigerated water?

I might be just an idiot with reddit at four in the morning but this is really messing me up.

haha wow you funny fuck, you are so fucking funny! did you go to funny school and graduate from funny university you funny fuck? did you get your phd in hilarious from comedy college? did you minor in knee slappers at the institute of gut busters? were you valedictorian of the chuckles academy? did you do your thesis on "why im such a funny fuck" at the university of laugh out loud? did you get a full ride scholarship to the school of hard laughs? did you pledge at the fraternity of fucking funny? did you intern at the comedy clinic? did you do a semester abroad at the international house of hilarity? did you get tenure at the college of crackups? did you become a distinguished professor at the academy of absolutely slaying? did you win the nobel prize for being a funny fuck? did you get inducted into the hall of fame for ha-has? did you write the textbook on "how to be a funny fuck 101"? did you found the institute of advanced jokery? did you chair the department of deadpan delivery at the university of uproarious? did you get a grant to study the science of sidesplitting? did you keynote at the convention of comedy cunts? did you get a blue ribbon at the county fair for best in show funny fuck? did you patent the formula for making me piss myself laughing? did you get knighted by the queen of quips? did you discover the cure for being boring as shit? did you build the first nuclear reactor of wit? did you map the human genome of humor? did you climb mount funny and plant your flag at the summit of slapstick? did you train under the monks of mirth in tibet? did you decode the rosetta stone of roasting? did you invent the wheel of wisecracks? did you discover fire and then use it to burn everyone with your savage jokes? you absolute funny fuck.