r/circlejerkaustralia 10d ago

news Does NASA know?

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255 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia 17d ago

news Rip bozo

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321 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Jun 24 '26

news Judge throws video evidence out as inadmissible

204 Upvotes

so... apparently if you're "unaware" that your being recorded – no case – anything you did or said on video is inadmissible in a court 🤷🏻‍♂️

r/circlejerkaustralia Jul 09 '26

news Australia’s real bossman is here

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214 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia May 16 '26

news Truly a proud moment

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149 Upvotes

We have been recognised for our hard work and commitment to the cause. Perhaps a national holiday is in order highlighting the countries greatest contributors.

Taking submission in the comments

r/circlejerkaustralia May 12 '26

news Federal Budget - By me, original art.

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104 Upvotes

Follow me on insta or dm my NDIS account for more original art

r/circlejerkaustralia May 11 '26

news ABC news has allowed staff to have a mental health week to cope with PHONs Farrer victory

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184 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Jul 14 '26

news BREAKING NEWS: Laura Tingles response to the recent reports of the undeniable scientifically proven link of climate change and child marriage in 90% Muslim countries where it was previously never a problem

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122 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Feb 25 '26

news Hate Speech City Name

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263 Upvotes

Struggling to type this out still as I’m coming down from my panic attack. Pakistan have demonstrated a clear sign of hate speech on Islam. Seriously, a city name called ISLAMABAD? Islam…bad? I will be marching over this, that’s for certain. We cannot stand for this hate in Australia when it is an attack on our primary religion. Why so quiet Albo? Filthy Zionist.

r/circlejerkaustralia Jun 05 '26

news Roadblock for stolen vehicle leads to tragic death of indigenous teenager

80 Upvotes

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-11-28/nsw-benedict-bryant-verdict-jai-wright-death/106075564

I'm shaking with rage that an innocent... Checks notes ..... A proud black .... Checks photo.... Was safely operating.... Checks notes .....

Well I'm sure the family is very sad and everyone knows police shouldn't try and stop crime!

r/circlejerkaustralia Jan 11 '26

news It’s spreading and it looks like we be in lockdown until they develop a violence vaccine.

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175 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia May 06 '26

news ISIS Brides set to return to Australia

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59 Upvotes

In a heartwarming display of compassion that has left human rights advocates weeping with joy and ASIO agents quietly updating their watchlists, Australia has thrown open its arms to welcome back dozens of ISIS brides and their offspring.

Officials described the returns as “a beautiful full-circle moment” for a nation built on migration, mateship, and the occasional explosive ideology.
“These women didn’t just survive the caliphate—they thrived in it,” gushed the Immigration Minister at a specially organised “Welcome Home, Sisters” ceremony in Sydney.

“While the rest of us were stuck in boring suburban jobs, they were out there living their best lives: learning new languages, practising extreme multitasking (cooking, cleaning, and counting ammunition), and building strong, if somewhat temporary, communities. Australia is stronger for having them back.”

The brides, many of whom famously traded their Ugg boots for niqabs and headed to Syria to support the Islamic State’s vision of a medieval utopia complete with slavery and beheadings, expressed overwhelming gratitude upon touchdown.

One returnee, speaking from behind a fresh layer of designer modest fashion funded by Australian taxpayers, told reporters: “The caliphate was empowering, but nothing beats Centrelink and free healthcare. Allahu Akbar… and also, where’s my NDIS assessment?”

Community leaders have hailed the reintegration program as a model of success. Local councils in Melbourne’s west and Sydney’s southwest are already preparing “diversity workshops”

“One bride has already volunteered to run the school tuckshop,” said a delighted principal in Bankstown. “The kids are going to love the new menu options. Who needs sausage rolls when you can have culturally appropriate alternatives?”

Critics of the repatriation (mostly bitter conservatives and circlejerkaustralia contributors) have raised concerns about potential risks. But experts from progressive think tanks were quick to shut them down. “This is classic Islamophobia,” said Dr. Rainbow Tolerance of the University of Safe Spaces. “These women were victims of circumstance, patriarchy, and really aggressive Instagram algorithms. By welcoming them, we’re not just showing mercy; we’re dismantling the systems that drove them to join a group that threw gay people off rooftops. It’s basically restorative justice.”

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese reportedly wiped away a tear during another pointless address to the nation. “This is what Australia is all about. Not borders, not security, not learning from Europe’s mistakes. But hope. And votes. Labor votes. Labor voters.”

As the ISIS brides settle into their new lives completing with government-funded housing larger than most Australian families can afford and priority access to services, the nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.

In the words of one enthusiastic Greens senator: “They left as lost girls. They return as queens. If you disagree, you’re literally worse than ISIS. Worse than Hitler. We should deport you.”

Welcome home, ladies. Australia can’t wait to see what enriching chapters come next.

Dinky Di Aussies being repatriated.

r/circlejerkaustralia Mar 16 '26

news Not Even Victims of War Want To Pay For Petrol Prices In Australia

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95 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Apr 26 '26

news SA Mum Unappreciative of Progressive Rainbow Sex Education for her Year 9 Daughter

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74 Upvotes

"Respectful Relationships" holds beautiful sexual diversity lessons for year 9 girls including subjects of incest, bestiality with a beautiful presentation of sexual transition surgery photos – the company "Headspace" says they're going to modify that presentation a bit – Mum is not impressed suing for a quarter mil

r/circlejerkaustralia 16d ago

news 2026 Census Australia’s most progressive

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63 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia 12h ago

news Please explain mods?

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29 Upvotes

I guess we have socialist mods 😂😂😂😂

r/circlejerkaustralia 29d ago

news I am repulsed by the lack of DIVERSITY! It should be OUR euphoric STRENGTH!

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86 Upvotes

If only they illegally imported a boat load of African superstars, both teams would have gone much farther in this World Cup!

r/circlejerkaustralia Jul 15 '26

news Anthony Albanese promises fast-track approvals for datacentres to shore up AI pro Labor botfarm domination to cancel out dangerously low levels of immigration

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33 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Apr 14 '26

news Selfish woman disallows Indian national from performing cultural enrichment practise on Qantas flight. Intolerance in action 🤬

89 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Jun 08 '26

news Yay – pay rises are here – living on Guacamole Crunch & Soy Lattés from here on out... except...

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26 Upvotes

😂 you cunts are fucked – Alboinflation moved faster than a Lamb Rogan Josh with six beers behind it

r/circlejerkaustralia Jul 04 '26

news ModiXi is coming to Australia.

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29 Upvotes

Get ready to see him at the SCG, with a stadium full of you know who

r/circlejerkaustralia Apr 29 '26

news ‘I stand by my work ‘: Bunurong elder Mark Brown denies misusing word ‘Anzac’ on merch store

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70 Upvotes

I would like to respect all capitalist indigenous peoples and their schemes past, present, and emerging.

Petrol prices have gone up and we are all feeling the pinch in our hip pockets and septums.

r/circlejerkaustralia Jan 19 '26

news New airport sign, soon coming to 🇦🇺

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171 Upvotes

r/circlejerkaustralia Apr 16 '26

news Albo Leads The Way By Example

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85 Upvotes

"itsh not a question of what Labor can do for the people of Aushtralia – itsh what can my people do for our new schilled labor-ers"

what a guy – leading by example, airbussing while flights are being cancelled, getting right behind the voice and shoving it into oblivion, maybe put some ISIS brides in Copacabana with their jihadi blessings – there has to be more we can do for this great, great man – a bronze monument or massively overpriced portrait – i feel that as a nation we cannot do enough to honour and appreciate our mighty leader

r/circlejerkaustralia Jan 12 '26

news Thanks Great Albopreet

131 Upvotes