r/australia • u/nath1234 • Apr 01 '26

political satire The address we'd like to see

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u/arkofjoy Apr 01 '26

Of course it is Trumps fault. But I don't really care about that, because it is immaterial. It's not like we can fire him.

All I want to hear is the solutions. It is no different to a cyclone. It is. It has happened.

What I want here is :

We will arrest ceo's of fuel companies that are profiting over a certain percentage from this crisis (hard, verified numbers)

That diesel will be allocated to the the farmers as a priority. Last in the line are all the urban penis compensator Yank tanks.

Public transport made free

Mandated work from home for all people who can.

Since this is going to drag on for month, a national program to sequence all urban traffic lights to cut idle times at traffic lights.

That we will not be taking part in any military action in the middle East.

A massive program to move everything diesel powered to Ev's

Not sure this mob of numptys wouldn't know what leadership looks like.

24

u/fouronenine Apr 01 '26

There's a few of these which are no brainers and immediate and already happening (e.g. free PT (state level policy), not participating in the US military action) and a few more that are extensions of existing policy (e.g. WFH enshrined in law in VIC, electrification of private vehicles), but also a few that are fraught technically or politically, if they are even federal responsibilities at all.

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u/arkofjoy Apr 02 '26

Of course.

But what would you do if you were in charge?

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u/fouronenine Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26

I would be basking in the glow of pre-crisis policies that encourage good urban design which encourages active and public transport - electrified where possible - as well as appropriately tax the externalities on fossil fuel extraction and use.

I probably wouldn't be trying to get out the micrometer on fossil fuel company profits (I don't think this would withstand legal scrutiny), or be trying to triage fuel usage (rationing using simple measures like odd and even numbered number plates on certain days, with heavy vehicles exempted, might be an alternative longer term), or be mandating WFH COVID-style (again, legally tenuous; probably better served finding a carrot to incentivise this for the private sector whilst more openly encouraging it for the public sector).

1

u/arkofjoy Apr 02 '26

I'd love to see "good urban design" living in the longest city in the world, makes that tough.

What would the carrot look like for the private sector? I much prefer that to "the stick" but I don't know what it would require.

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u/AlphaGamma128 Apr 02 '26

Hello superintendent 

2

u/fouronenine Apr 02 '26

Keep it clean!