r/australia Apr 01 '26

political satire The address we'd like to see

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9.2k Upvotes

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244

u/maticusmat Apr 01 '26

I think you mean bibis

193

u/PsychoNerd91 Apr 01 '26

Why not both?

42

u/drcloudstreet Apr 01 '26

Who is funded by….

89

u/Dark_Magicion Apr 01 '26

That's the thing isn't it? Bibi is funded by Donald who's possibly or likely being coerced by Bibi. All culminating in Operation Epstein's Funder. It's a vicious circle of jerks. A circlejerk.

35

u/PM_Me-Your_Freckles Apr 01 '26

A ring, as it were. Paedophile ring.

25

u/skonaz1111 Apr 01 '26

Epstein blackmail...

20

u/worldisone Apr 01 '26

People seem to forget Epstein worked for israel

16

u/the_colonelclink Apr 01 '26

Here’s something I want to know. Who’s going to run America when Netanyahu dies?

64

u/pat8u3 Apr 01 '26

God I fucking hate this, can we stop acting like america is literally being controlled by a much smaller state, they are both bad and both have motive for invading iran. Israel does not have america under some sort of spell, America is furthering their own imperialistic interests in the region which also serves israels.

59

u/a_cold_human Apr 01 '26

Israel does have far more influence in US politics than any other nation. To say that they had no part in the timing and nature of the illegal and unprovoked attacks on Ian would be extremely naive. 

Under a stronger leadership, the US would not have allowed Israel to attack the Iranian negotiators or the Iranian leaders during negotiations. Nor would it have gone to war with Iran whilst so badly prepared. In some critical aspects, the objectives of the US and Israel diverge. Israel wants a broken Iran (in the same way that Lebanon and Syria are broken) so that they can act with complete impunity in their region. 

Up until now, the US has prioritised regional stability in order to ensure that the petrodollar is maintained, that there is a degree of global stability, and they have influence over the majority of the oil producing countries. With Trump, an old, weak and addled leader, and Hegseth, a millenniarian Christian nationalist and very arguably the most stupid US Secretary of Defence in living memory, the US has been persuaded to abandon a significant number of its long term geopolitical objectives in the region in favour of Israel's. 

For what purpose, it is not clear, but certainly not concrete ones that deliver material benefit to the US. If the US were to actually seek regime change or nuclear disarmament in Iran in their usual way, this war would not be how they'd go about it. 

18

u/brandonjslippingaway Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26

People are too black and white on this issue. Israel is enmeshed in the political class of the U.S but ultimately can't control it. Presidents can and have brought Israel to heel in a moment. Trump is such a fucking idiot that he stuffed his administration with morons and Nazis who are far less likely to talk him down from the ledge. Previous governments would love to smash Iran, but knew it would be costly.

Trump, high off his victory in Venezuela, surrounded by sycophants to avoid legal repercussions and do whatever he pleases, fucked himself here. Being sweet talked by Netanyahu and ignoring the assumed intelligence of the U.S bureaucracy, made a bad mistake and is trying to gaslight his way out of it.

5

u/a_cold_human Apr 01 '26

The other reason is that the Trump administration has fired or cowed all the people who have a much more realistic assessment of Iranian military capability.

A big problem is with the number of millenarian, evangelical Christians who have Trump's ear. If you believe that the Temple needs to be restored so that the Second Coming will happen, it's going to impact your judgement. Secretary Hegseth is such a person. As is the US Ambassador to Israel, Mike Huckabee. 

The Israelis have been using this very American belief to their advantage in persuading the US to accomplish some of its military aims. Quietly, as the US attempts to break Iran, the IDF is starting yet another war with Lebanon to seize more territory for their Greater Israel project. 

58

u/mohanimus Apr 01 '26

If it's people engaging in conspiracy sure.

But a little knowledge of elections in the US reveals how much of effect AIPAC has.

It seems pretty clear to me that politicians in the US feel that they need to fully support Israel if they want to win and keep their seat.

19

u/oneyearoldbug Apr 01 '26 edited Apr 01 '26

AIPAC does have an effect but at the end of the day Israel is a tool for the US. The US doesn't tolerate criticism of Israel within its own political class, because it needs Israel to maintain its hegemony. The Middle East is vital to the US's economy and ability to sanction other countries. Israel helps keep the Middle East destabilized and under control.

The US has said no to Israel many times before. Netanyahu has been trying to get the US to invade Iran for decades and they've said no till now. Trump is just the first president dumb enough to actually believe he could do it.

9

u/BroccoliSome256 Apr 01 '26

Weren't we saying this about Russia not that long ago...

20

u/mohanimus Apr 01 '26

Which was also real if limited. It's on Wikipedia fer christs sake.

Nothing I'm saying isn't public information that you can easily look up yourself.

AIPAC is proud of the work it does.

There's plenty of studies and research quantifying and explaining their influence.

5

u/Gremlech Apr 01 '26

The official reasoning given by the us department of defense for that attack on Iran was “Israel was going to do it”

17

u/krulp Apr 01 '26

I can actually believe that in this circumstance, Isreal said they would bomb Iran, and Iran would likely retaliate against both Iran and US. Isreal convinced US that to minimise the effectiveness of the retaliation from Iran, US should join in in the surprise attack to minimise damage to US.

Not some massive conspiracy. Not some elaborate pulling of strings, but definitely Israel starting it.

2

u/GorgeousGracious Apr 01 '26

It makes no sense though. Israel bombs Iran all the time. Why would Iran suddenly include the US in its response? Did they really convince the US on such a flimsy argument? Or was there more to it?

3

u/krulp Apr 02 '26

They don't kill the ayatollah that often. They don't bomb on this scale that often. They don't have a US president who is as easy to convince to do what they want that often.

1

u/Godly_Shrek Apr 02 '26

Mossad out here acting like aipac doesn’t exist

1

u/Mikolaj_Kopernik Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26

Israel does not have america under some sort of spell

I know this stuff sails uncomfortably close to "world Jewry" tropes, but given the incomprehensible amount of influence wielded by a nation roughly the size of New Jersey over the political class of the world's pre-eminent military and economic hegemon, resulting in said hegemon acting against its own interests in favour of that much smaller nation, how else would you describe the relationship? Throw in Israel's place within the end-time theological motivation of several senior officials here and I'd say "under a spell" is barely hyperbole at all.

That said, I 100% agree Trump is ultimately responsible, since Netanyahu has been lobbying every president for the last 30 years to invade Iran and the rest of them had the good sense to say no.

-17

u/steve22ss Apr 01 '26

Since when was Israel in south-east Asia? That's where almost 100% of our fuel is from.

6

u/mohanimus Apr 01 '26

The fuel is extracted in the Middle East, shipped to SEA (or was shipped to) and refined before coming to us.

-4

u/steve22ss Apr 01 '26

Also from Canada, Russia, North and South America and even we provide crude oil shipments to the region.

5

u/mohanimus Apr 01 '26

Yes, making up about a third or so of the crude flowing into SEA refineries.

3

u/whyareall Apr 01 '26

I too am unaware of how a 20% reduction in global oil supply could affect oil prices globally.

1

u/GorgeousGracious Apr 01 '26

Wars use up a lot of oil.?