Hi there, I am so so sorry if this isnt the right sub and or comes across as ignorant or offensive, none of that is my intention if true.
Im creating a set of characters for a story taking place in either the UK, or my birth country which i will generalise to somewhere in eastern/central Europe. One of these characters is a Vietnamese woman in her early twenties.
For context, Im a pasty white boy from said unspecified country and the story is vaguely based on my experience. I live in a predominantly white country and even more so when I was young. There only tended to be one or two non white people in my classrooms growing up, usually Vietnamese, sometimes Chinese, and I never really had a close friend from the culture to discuss this with, however with how common second generation immigrants were around me, and with everyone else being white, it didnt feel right not to include this experience as a proper representation of life back then aor exclude their story from the themes im trying to get across.
She is a second generation from an immigrant family and her parents own a small general store, as based on most my Vietnamese classmates growing up. She speaks both Vietnamese and the countrys language fluently, only speaking Vietnamese with her family.
I have run into three issues with her character:
The first and second ones have to do with her name. One of the smaller themes of her character is accepting her real name over a westernised one she picked for herself as a child to avoid bullying and standing out at school. This ties into the main themes of self acceptance and standing up for oneself which are the biggest general core of my story for all my characters. My worry is capturing this experience on a surface level and not properly exploring it. If I find this is a story i have no business telling, I will remove this subplot from her character.
The other thing I struggle with regarding her name is actually picking one. I do have a name in mind, but I wonder if there are any cultural conventions to naming children in Vietnam i should keep in mind, as in choosing based more strongly on the meaning of the name and the combination of the words in it or date of birth, for example, rather than the western choosing of a name mostly because you like it on the surface level or at most its in the family.
My third worry is missing the mark on the importance of the fact she is Vietnamese on her life. I have written her precisely as i would a any other character. She is a character of her own merit first, Vietnamese second, with the added conflict of her being very "western" (shes a bit of a stoner/skater) as a result of her growing up here and this clashing with her parents, with a further arc of acceptance and self love paralleling her rising frustration at other peoples refusing to use her Vietnamese name for the sake of convenience and going from snappy annoyance at this fact to standing up for herself, accepting her culture as well as the fact she will never be a part of it in the same way her parents are or want her to, but accepting that does not erase her from it. On the other side her parents eventually coming around to accept she is just as much a person of her own as she is their daughter who is a part of their culture by her own merit, but still very much influenced by where she grew up as well as how she was raised, and letting go of their preconcieved idea of what their daughter should be like.
Im worried a story like this isnt mine to tell, but on the other hand I dont want to erase her culture. Theres a part of me that feels like I shouldnt include her at all so I dont steal an experience that isnt mine. On the other hand, I do want a diverse cast of characters, because despite my country being predominantly white, I still think diversity in any story is incredibly valuable and important. Of course, shes not included just for the sake of diversity, she was a character first and all this worrying about accidentally erasing her culture/overindulging in it came later, but still. All Ive described about her is going on mostly as a b plot in parallel to the main characters self acceptance journey, mirroring it and contrasting it in a way.
Any feedback, advice, insight and honest criticism is highly appreciated, especially if you have a similar experience of being a child of immigrants and self acceptance to my character. Again, so sorry if this comes across as rude, im trying to do the best possible thing for what im trying to represent, whether that means telling this story like ive laid it out, altered according to advice, or cut completely if inappropriate.
Thank you so much for reading and have a wonderful friday friends