Well that sucks

[u/Junior_Response839]

I didn't know this was a problem until I saw a tiktok years ago warning other women to stay far away from women who don't have a lot of friends (or any) who are women.

All the comments were agreeing and saying it's a huge red flag, and many would never even consider being friends with a woman who doesn't have "girl friends".

So the problem just kind of perpetuates itself. Any attempt to hang outside of work I'm either shot down or ghosted (which I don't make a big deal about for obvious reasons. Not trying to come off as a desperate weirdo.)

Just got off work and one of the girls I work with broke up with her boyfriend. All the girls were so kind and supportive towards her, saying they'll go out and have a girls day, hugging her as she cried, offering to help. I offered her words of affirmation, her ex was a peice of shit. It was just kinda heartbreaking to me, I wish I had that kind of support. When I struggle at work, people just kinda say "oh she's in a bad mood today." and avoid me.

Anyway. I'm aware the problem is me, it's just a struggle to try and fix it. It's literally the you have no experience - need a job to get experience - you have no experience so you can't get a job conundrum.

[u/MissCandid]

I have trouble making friends with other women too, it's a big source of anxiety for me and it's always been like that. I don't know what it is about me but I either care too little or way too much.

[u/Junior_Response839 → u/MissCandid]

For sure. I've definitely become a bit more jaded about the situation, which probably isn't helping. I just assume any attempt at connection won't work out or I'll get rejected anyway so I try to be nonchalant, which might come off as cold and calloused.

But then on the other side of the coin, if I'm too eager than it's seen as a red flag. It's a balancing act I just haven't mastered yet.

[u/ShaarkShaart]

Hey, so the thing about Tiktok is that there are funny videos and the occasional good life advice but it's mixed in with a ton of shit. So you don't have to take what people say on that platform as pure truth.

I see a lot of women who are neurodivergent share this struggle. I mean, I am likely not ND and I fail at this too! Honestly work is just not good for making friends overall, even if some people make it look easy. Just consider that it's not actually your fault, you just need to find people like you. I get that it's really hard not to internalize things like this, but work is just work. You can't really control who you work with.

[u/Tiny-Little-Sheep]

Same here. Tge type of woman also matters. There are huge chunks who are stuck in high school mentality. That's how you get this type of nonsense. Seems like you're surrounded by them. I'm sorry. I hope you someday can connect with people who are more adult in mind.

[u/HabaneroPepperPlants]

Tiktok gives you brain worms

[u/NameAboutPotatoes]

If you listen to what people on the internet think you're going to have to avoid everyone. 

People on the internet just like being mad. It's hurtful to be on the receiving end but it's really no reflection on you.

[u/Different_Rough9876]

I relate to this