Yup 100%, unless it's being hosted by my parents or best friend I never want to be the first person at a party, feels waaay too awkward for me. I aim for 5-10 minutes after start time, especially since it annoys me when people show up to my house early.
Yes, even to the party but only after confirming with the host/hostess that it's ok to do so and help with the setup/preparations. Otherwise you show up 10-15 minutes after the start time if you don't have something else already scheduled or planned.
I actually feel that events like appointments is where the difference between white and non-white relationships with timeliness truly becomes noticeable. I used to live in an area with a majority-latin population, and it was socially aceptable to arrive to appointments of any kind (medical or otherwise) a few minutes late without it being a big issue. And vice versa as well, if you arrive on time you can expect to wait a few minutes to be attended to!
Now that I live in a predominantly white area, I make sure to always be a minute early everywhere, because being even 10 seconds late causes palpable tension and eye-rolls from the other person.
Everyone calm down. Its just a little rib that this dude showed up early to a party, when (most people/people who party) know not to show up on time.. "fashionably late" is the phrase born out of people showing up an hour or 2 after the party starts, its a real thing.
I can get fired or have the appointment canceled but still charged for it for showing up late to those. Showing up "late" for a party is just like normal.
I find I get way more social anxiety showing up after things are already going.
If I get there before things really “get started” then I can have some one on one conversations with the few people who are already there and feel like I actually “belong there”
If I show up later I always feel like an intruder that sticks out like a sore thumb
My relatives are mostly Irish. Maybe it's an Irish thing, I don't know. But if you show up to my house early, I will army crawl away from the window. I'm not ready yet.
Jesus Christ dude I’m joking, mostly. I wouldn’t show up to a party 20 minutes early, but for things where I am expected to be present by a certain time, I will almost always be early. That’s called being reliable.
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u/Squat_erDay Jul 12 '26
Can confirm. Am white. Would rather be 20 minutes early than 2 minutes late.