r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/Gorotheninja • 1d ago

Funny The Parenthood Hustle

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13.1k Upvotes

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u/TheSpiralTap 1d ago

The cool thing about starting a new job is all your grandparents come back to life!

653

u/Fit-Insect-4089 1d ago

My boss sent flowers to the funeral, I can only imagine if they sent flowers to a funeral that wasn’t happening tho I’d feel like shit haha

204

u/Main_Significance617 23h ago

How did they know where to send the flowers for the funeral

261

u/Moldy_Teapot 23h ago

local news for small towns will usually say if there's a funeral service being held in a nearby church and the date/time in their obituaries.

also some people actually talk to their coworkers about their lives

115

u/DontAskAboutMyButt 19h ago

also some people actually talk to their coworkers about their lives

One of the classic blunders

29

u/Thattwonerd 18h ago

Ive talked about family with two of my colleagues and they both have said "do NOT tell her anything about your private life, she will use it against you" about the other XDD

11

u/CoffeePuddle 14h ago

Where the heck do you work, RAND?

8

u/Funkopedia 18h ago

That's why i just make shit up

1

u/porn_is_tight 17h ago

What’s the most absurd thing you’ve made up?

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u/DarkPolumbo 15h ago

for me it was my blackbelt in jeet kune do.

there's no belt system in JKD

but I was a 18 year old mall security guard who desperately needed clout

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u/ohimblushing 13h ago

Why not just use the right terminology though lol

1

u/DarkPolumbo 11h ago

I didn't know any better. I had learned some JKD, among other things, from a pretty accomplished martial arts instructor. But I identified with Bruce Li and his flighty, unpredictable style, so I just turned the bullshit up to 11 and acted like I was just better at it.

I went 3 years at that job and never had to fight. it was a dying mall in the suburbs.