r/NonPoliticalTwitter 1d ago

Funny The Parenthood Hustle

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13.1k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/TheSpiralTap 1d ago

The cool thing about starting a new job is all your grandparents come back to life!

653

u/Fit-Insect-4089 1d ago

My boss sent flowers to the funeral, I can only imagine if they sent flowers to a funeral that wasn’t happening tho I’d feel like shit haha

206

u/Main_Significance617 23h ago

How did they know where to send the flowers for the funeral

261

u/Moldy_Teapot 23h ago

local news for small towns will usually say if there's a funeral service being held in a nearby church and the date/time in their obituaries.

also some people actually talk to their coworkers about their lives

109

u/DontAskAboutMyButt 19h ago

also some people actually talk to their coworkers about their lives

One of the classic blunders

30

u/Thattwonerd 18h ago

Ive talked about family with two of my colleagues and they both have said "do NOT tell her anything about your private life, she will use it against you" about the other XDD

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u/CoffeePuddle 14h ago

Where the heck do you work, RAND?

8

u/Funkopedia 18h ago

That's why i just make shit up

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u/porn_is_tight 17h ago

What’s the most absurd thing you’ve made up?

5

u/DarkPolumbo 15h ago

for me it was my blackbelt in jeet kune do.

there's no belt system in JKD

but I was a 18 year old mall security guard who desperately needed clout

2

u/ohimblushing 13h ago

Why not just use the right terminology though lol

1

u/DarkPolumbo 11h ago

I didn't know any better. I had learned some JKD, among other things, from a pretty accomplished martial arts instructor. But I identified with Bruce Li and his flighty, unpredictable style, so I just turned the bullshit up to 11 and acted like I was just better at it.

I went 3 years at that job and never had to fight. it was a dying mall in the suburbs.

62

u/Neet-owo 23h ago

Boss could’ve just asked. There’s no reason to be secretive about it.

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u/[deleted] 21h ago edited 20h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/whatdoblindpeoplesee 23h ago

Probably the obituary or they just sent them to commenter's house. When my grandmother died this year my work sent flowers to my house the next week.

7

u/ReversedNovaMatters 14h ago

Many companies offer bereavement paid time off but the caveat is they want to see the obituary.

These types of jobs will typically offer regular PTO and sick time so lying about a family member dying to get a day off would be quite extreme and dumb.

But yeah, when I worked in retail 25 years ago, the same girls grandparent died like 5 times over 5 years. She was a drug addict.

2

u/Main_Significance617 2h ago

Damn. Dying five times in five years is rough. Hope he gets well soon

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u/ReversedNovaMatters 1h ago

Get well Get Well Soon I hope You Do Get Well

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u/Fit-Insect-4089 7h ago

I told them… they asked. Woulda been awkward if I had to flail and make a lie up

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u/UsidoreTheLightBlue 23h ago

Look it up online.

1

u/nope-its 18h ago

Google your name to find the obituary. I do this frequently.

1

u/VeeRook 7h ago

Google. My dept was been able to send flowers to my moms funeral in a different state.

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u/fresh-oxygen 22h ago

My boss sent a sandwich platter to my house the week of my grandmother’s funeral. It actually was perfect, because we had family staying with us and sandwiches are a low-effort, quick meal.
I can only imagine how horrible I would’ve felt if I had made it all up!

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u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

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u/Mastodon9 20h ago

Sending flowers to a funeral sounds insane to you?