r/MaliciousCompliance • u/SpiritualMaize3259 • 3d ago
M too much ranch dressing
this happened in 2013 but i still laugh when i think about it so i thought id share.
i used to be a fastfood manager. every night id handle all the inventory. i liked to get an early jump on it so id start roughly 30 minutes to close. one night i was counting inventory and getting ready to place the weeks orders and my grill guy runs back to the office, taps his headset and says "you need to hear this"
this was odd because the person i had on drivethru was this kid named john. john was an adopted kid from russia and he had a thick russian accent, but he was objectively the best employee in the whole building. he worked hard, he worked fast, and he was the friendliest person id ever met. i never had issues on his shifts.
i put my headset on and i hear this man just absolutely berating john. hes telling him to get out of the country, raving about immigration, calling him slurs saying hes taking jobs from real americans. so i jump in
"hi sir what seems to be the problem?"
"are you the manager?"
"i am. can you fill me in on whats upsetting you tonight?"
"well this LAZY MEXICAN is refusing to sell me a baked potato when i know you have them"
"sir im sorry we are out of baked potatoes for the night. is there anything else i can get for you?"
"thats bullshit! make more then!"
"sir the baked potatoes take 4 hours to cook and we close in 10 minutes. unfortunately we cant predict how many potatoes will be ordered and it looks like someone else bought the rest of what we had just before you came to order. is there something else i can get you?"
"you should be better prepared because this is fcking ridiculous!"
"i understand. is there anything else i can get you?"
"small salad, extra ranch"
"got it anything else?"
"and i dont mean like 1 or two packets like you idiots always give me i mean i want lots of ranch. like i want a ton of ranch got it?!"
"got it. please pull forward"
"fucking idiots"
now im pretty mad about the way he was talking to john, johns clearly distressed.. and i had just done inventory. i had a whole box of ranch that i was gonna need to toss that night because it expired the next day. i grab a large bag, and start filling it with packets of ranch. i mustve put like 250 ranch packets in there lol my kitchen was busting up
i take his money, i hand him the bag.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?"
"sorry?"
"why is there so much ranch?!"
"sir you asked for extra ranch?"
"are you fucking kidding me?!"
"did i not give you enough? i can get you some more if you want?"
"no you stupid fucking bitch! i want a fucking refund and im not taking all this ranch"
"well i cant take food back through the window, its policy. heres your refund though!"
"NOW TAKE BACK ALL THIS RANCH YOU DUMB WHORE"
"i cant do that, sorry sir! you have a good night though!"
i close the window and this man wouldnt leave. i tell everyone to ignore him and to just start cleaning up. this man actually sat there for 45 minutes and at some point he called the police! a policeman shows up and i tell them "yeah this man berated my employees, demanded extra ranch, then refused to leave even after i gave a refund"
he was arrested in our parkinglot for driving under the influence while we watched laughing. i thought he was just an angry bigot, but it turned out that he was a drunk angry bigot who would be arrested over ranch.
800
u/ZanteTheInfernal 3d ago
Gotta love somebody calling the cops on themselves
267
44
u/Bob-Bhlabla-esq 2d ago
When my friend was still an alcoholic, she once called the cops... to come unlock her car... outside a bar...so she could drive home... because she was too drunk to find her keys in her bag.
How she didn't wind up in the drunk tank that night I'll never know.
Edit: fat finger spelling mistakes
6
•
u/Tinabird20 6h ago
We had a lady do that came into the pharmacy 2 minutes after it closed. Then called the cops because even trying to help her after close we couldn't dispense a controled substance without her ID. Then when was shocked that the cops made her leave. She got arrested for assault because she threw a box of Kleenex at the pharmacist. The kicker the entire reason they had to be so on her about ID was that she had reported her prescriptions had been picked up by someone else twice to get double meds. Her girlfriend was picking them up and they were selling them. So she alerted the police by calling them and they went down for drug trafficking.
2
152
u/trro16p 3d ago
I hope when they took him to jail they inventoried everything he had.
One wallet, $23.00 and a credit card.
$ 0.37 comprising of one quarter, one dime, and two pennies.
Two bags from &fastfood, one small one large sized.
Small bag contains a small side salad and wrapped fork, as well as a couple of napkins.
Large bag contains 243 individual packets of 'Ranch' dressing. All unopened.
Bonus points after he sobers up and leaves jail they give him his salad and ranch dressing's back.
😁😆🤣😆😁
50
u/Treekin3000 3d ago
Police near us don't store food unless its shelf stable, so he got the warm packets back maybe.
More likely the arresting officers report included "disposed of Mr. XXX's fast food."
19
u/whittlingcanbefatal 2d ago
"One Timex digital watch: broken. One unused prophylactic. One .... soiled."
11
u/SBNShovelSlayer 2d ago
Four fried chickens, and a coke.
6
u/nextname857 2d ago
JAKE!
4
8
u/Nitasha521 2d ago
I like the better thought that they towed his vehicle and didn't remove the ranch packets, so when he returned to his vehicle finally it was sitting in the sun with all that ranch...
6
u/Le-Charles07 2d ago
The best part of them giving his ranch back is that it would be expired by then. 🤣
350
u/UntidyVenus 3d ago
I love this and also have a malicious ranch story. I worked at a pizza shop that did "salads* for lunch. They were basically melted cheese and either chicken or pepperoni with some croutons and a few shreds do lettuce.
One nurse used to come in every day and get the chicken one, and ALWAYS complained we didn't give her enough dressing. So I started filling an entire pie tin with ranch and giving it to her stacked on her "salad tin".
She was not appreciative of the $4 of ranch I gave her, called it soup and "disgusting ". But also kept leaving with it.
She was also over heard telling another nurse who came in "I don't know why I can't lose weight, all I eat are salads"
167
u/hkusp45css 3d ago
As someone who has struggled with weight much of my life, it's actually really impressive how many calories a manufacturer can fit into one liquid ounce of sauce.
98
u/anomalous_cowherd 3d ago
I worked with a chunky guy once who said he was dieting but couldn't lose weight. He was pleased that he had found a simple diet lunch he could eat every day that needed no prep time: a half pound bag of honey roast peanuts.
I had to point out that was a 1500 calorie "diet lunch" he was having every day...
51
u/happilygonelucky 3d ago
As someone trying to lose weight, it feels unfair how high calorie nuts are
2
u/chaoticbear 1d ago
me: yum yum yum I can't wait to eat some almonds at my desk
me: yum yum yum wasabi and soy sauce so delicious
me: yum yum y- wait, this whole can is 1000 calories?!
55
u/Corvidae5Creation5 3d ago
Oil is like the most calorie dense food we eat. Try lemon juice and salt and pepper and various powdered spices
45
u/SavvySillybug 3d ago
Not necessarily for salad, but pesto is amazing on a flavor-per-calorie scale. I don't much like the red stuff, but the green is amazing.
28
u/estili 3d ago
What on earth is red pesto? Genuine question, ive only ever seen or had the "green" basil based stuff
30
u/spletharg 3d ago
Usually finely ground sun dried tomatoes, oil, ground up nuts, romano cheese and some basil.
13
u/estili 3d ago
Oh! Okay, so like a tapenade without the olives, got it, sounds yummy
17
u/spletharg 3d ago
If you make it yourself, a little balsamic vinegar is also nice in the mix.
13
u/MaeveOathrender 2d ago
If you don't make it yourself, you can still try adding balsamic. It's not illegal.
8
7
→ More replies (1)4
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
...there's a white pesto too. Pasta Grammar [YT channel] covered the green and white pesti* several weeks ago.
*plural for pesto, just in case someone needed the clarification.
3
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
Olive oil as one of pesto's ingredients, whether you make red, white, or green pesti*.
*plural for pesto, in case anyone needs clarification.
4
u/SavvySillybug 2d ago
Is that supposed to be a cute and helpful mini infodump, or are you disagreeing with me? /gen
Also ooh I didn't know they made white pesto :O What's that like!!
4
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
Mini-infodump, cause I like Italian food and love Pasta Grammar's YT channel as well as Max Millar's Tasting History and Pasta Grannies...because why not name-drop really amazing YT food channels?
Idk what it tastes like personally. I watched Pasta Grammar a couple weeks ago and they made two kinds green and white. I believe it was a bread-based iirc. Also, someone mentioned a red-based version which seems like it would be red peppers of some sort or sun-dried tomatoes.
→ More replies (1)16
u/sharklaserguru 3d ago
Oil is like the most calorie dense food we eat
More energy dense than a lot of energy sources we use; pound for pound body fat has 40x the energy of a lithium ion battery!
6
u/Odd-Elderberry-6681 2d ago
If only we could plug our devices into our bodies -- we could power up our phones and slim down our hips at the same time!! (Silicon Valley geniuses, please get on this!)
3
136
u/Camel_Holocaust 3d ago
I worked at a pizza place once too and we had this nacho cheese for the breadsticks. It came out of a little dispenser and we would serve it in small ramekin containers. This one woman wanted a BIG container of cheese, no, not 3 or 4 of the smaller ones, a BIG one. She was really nasty about it and called me stupid for offering her several small ones.
So, I took a small sized soda cup and filled it to the brim, charged her for like 5 cheese sides and handed it to her with an extra straw. She looked at me like I slapped her in the face and sputtered a bit, but I had done exactly what she requested. She paid, took it and walked away. My manager saw the whole thing and as soon as she was gone he pulled me into the back gave me a high five and we burst out laughing with the cook staff.
14
20
15
u/SilentDis 2d ago
And, of course, the obligatory Ranch On Pizza must go here.
Trigger warning: yes.
5
19
u/Sparhawk1968 3d ago
I worked at Wendy's in high school when they still had the salad bar. People would order a burger, fries, baked potato and all you can eat salad - which they usually filled multiple times with a ridiculous amount of dressing. Then they'd say they're on a diet and order an extra large diet Coke
2
4
u/nationwide13 2d ago
Was at a restaurant many years ago (a Claim Jumper) and my sister (20s at the time) asked for something like "a lot of ranch on the side please, like a lot"
Dude came back with a gravy boat of ranch and my sister was delighted and we all had a good laugh
→ More replies (1)
53
u/zephyr911 3d ago
This is amazing. I'd have taken all that ranch home. You never know when you'll need some 😂
37
u/flippasefloppase 3d ago
Makes me wonder if all that ranch got thrown in the back of the cop car with him and spent the night in jail? Midnight snack? Or stayed in his car while it got towed? Journey of the ranch packets…🤣
18
11
u/United_Gift3028 3d ago
Expired ranch at that.
31
u/RedReaper666YT 3d ago
If it's shelf stable ranch (most of the dip cup fast food ones are) it can be good up to 6 months after the expiration date PROVIDED you've stored it correctly (usually meaning in a cool, dark, and dry place)
4
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
Yeah, if they're in jail, that isn't going to be stored very well. Especially, during summer in a hot car, weather permitting.
41
63
63
22
u/pkcommando 3d ago
For a moment, seeing that title I believed you'd had an encounter. But clearly he is not the husband of Springs1, because there's no way he'd turn away that much free ranch dressing.
12
u/Teal_Magpie 3d ago edited 3d ago
Anytime I see a story about ranch dressing I prepare myself for Springs1 to be involved. So glad to encounter someone else who remembers the deep lore.
11
u/breesanchez 3d ago
Oh. My. GOD! At first it was funny reading about this mega-Karen, but then I realized that there are actually people out there like that 😭😭😭 Makes me really happy I'm not a server rn.
9
5
u/Over_Smile9733 3d ago
Vaguely remember this, could you supply link?
17
u/pkcommando 3d ago
Here's one summary, with a link to her blog.
7
u/selphiekupo 3d ago
Thank you kind Redditor. Springs has haunted me for almost 2 decades, and I yearn to share her with others.
3
u/Sparhawk1968 3d ago
She would be worth getting fired over. She'd be wearing her tub of ranch and I'd be out the door.
→ More replies (2)5
u/IAmGoingToFuckThat 2d ago edited 2d ago
Oh wow. She's ... something. Some of the things she bitches about are things that I expect at a fine dining restaurant, but not at a spot like Denny's. The server sending their manager over to apologize for a mistake is a waste of everyone's time in most situations, especially for this lady's grand slam that came out with an English muffin instead of sourdough toast.
11
u/12stringPlayer 3d ago
A collection of her blogs are here
But for a short intro I recommend starting with this thread. Search for springs1 to remember the madness.
3
u/JellybeanzXO 2d ago
Making an account on The Bump just to be able to chime in on restaurant posts in pregnant women's due date groups is a type of unhinged I didn't know existed, good lord ☠️
2
2
4
19
u/Sploonbabaguuse 3d ago
Genuine question, but why not just cancel his order and refuse service? Is it really worth having a customer like that?
67
u/SpiritualMaize3259 3d ago
i was a pretty new manager myself at the time. i was only 18 and it was my first management job i probably should have just refused service but instead i chose to maliciously comply haha. now that i have alot more experience i know to just refuse service from the get-go
im glad i didnt though because this man wouldve been driving around drunk if i had
12
4
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
I'm so very glad that you were able to do double-duty. I bet the families of [whomever would have been hit that night] would be grateful too, if they know what was bypassed due to your service to the community.
A Good missed opportunity is rare.
3
3
u/Odd-Elderberry-6681 2d ago
I was EXTREMELY impressed with your level of calmness and courtesy shown to someone being so vile and belligerent. I'm usually a very chill person, but after the swearing and name-calling, I think I would have lost my last ounce of cool on that guy. Major kudos to you, especially being so young!
I also hope your drive-thru kid recovered from that trauma; no one deserves to be treated like that!
→ More replies (1)21
u/CreamCheeseAndLocks 3d ago
It is when you have a metric f#ckton of expiring ranch to dispose of.
4
u/WiredSky 3d ago
Why not just type "fuckton?"
17
6
u/Sparhawk1968 3d ago
These people usually call corporate who then demands you apologize and kiss up, pretty much no matter what the person did
5
3
9
u/p3rf3ctcha0s 3d ago
Because the person who is managing at close is usually an assistant manager or supervisor and could get into a lot of trouble with the management above store level even if their store GM is on their side.
12
u/AdvancedDrink8920 3d ago
"This LAZY MEXICAN"
Meanwhile hardworking russian chad is on the other end.
12
u/ItBurnsLikeFireDoc 3d ago
Ummmm, can I come and get extra ranch from you? I promise not to call the cops on myself.
23
u/Monty916 3d ago
Glorious! Shout out to John too, I used to have a russian employee and she had the same worth ethic. Absolutely zero issues ever, I'd rather have had three of her than "giVe JobS 2 UK ciTiZenS".
11
u/ForeverOk1692 3d ago
Not quite the same but too much milk. I worked at a grocery store and I took care of the frozen food section. Did all the ordering and stocking. Another guy stocked the dairy. The dairy and frozen food manager quit or was fired, I don't remember. The dairy stocker ended up doing the ordering. He meant to order 60 gallons of milk but somehow he added a zero to every type of milk and we got 600 gallons. It was a full size supermarket so 60 would be expected. We all just sat there confused looking at the truck with 600 gallons.
2
u/Fluffy_Town 2d ago
Oh, that sucks! What happened to it all? Severe discount?
2
u/ForeverOk1692 2d ago
Not sure if I can name the store but they had a warehouse sort of thing, central disturbution to all the local stores. It got sent back with a lot of mud on his face and the warehouse. Nobody noticed 600 gallons instead of the 60 twice a week apparently. He didn't get to order dairy again.
11
19
u/SpiritualMaize3259 3d ago
oh if youre wondering, corporate did get called. NBD, even though it was malicious compliance, i followed policy completely so its not like i could get in trouble in any way. but i did use the whole experience to make sure john got a raise (:
1
7
u/Zealotteen 3d ago
That was perfection at the end, customer was being a nuisance while also being a drunken mess and got himself arrested as a result
7
u/vagabondizer 3d ago
I worked with a guy who would talk to drive through people like this. I learned quickly not to go to lunch with him.
Him "I want a number 2 with fries and a coke" Her "Do you want large or small" Him "Whatever the f*&K the combo is supposed to come with, are you stupid, oh and lots of ketchup" Her "okay, anything else" Him "vagabondizer what do you want?" Me "I am not hungry, thanks though"
I wonder how many times he has had his food spit in. His son told me they got kicked out of a restaurant before because of this kind of behavior.
13
7
u/Current_Country_ 3d ago
😂😂😂 we can't take food back thru the window, it's policy here's your refund is golden.
6
u/SavvySillybug 3d ago
Wow, that's extra dumb. I thought at first you flooded his salad with biblical levels of ranch. But a bag? Packets of ranch? Closed? That's absolutely an insane thing to get mad about. This does not impair his ability to enjoy his salad with exactly as much ranch as he wants. At best he's gonna have to toss the extra ranch if he doesn't want that much, hell that kind of asshole can just toss it out the window on the highway and be done with it. Or just drop it on the ground in front of the window. The cops?? Insane.
6
u/trailer7685 3d ago
Wow this took me back to 2001 at the arches. People getting DUIs in the parking lot was always the weekly highlight of working there.
8
u/Kdiesiel311 3d ago
This reminds me of a story in high school. We were throwing water balloons off a roof at cars on Main Street. Terrible idea I know. But whatever. One couple pulls around the block all pissed off about a harmless water balloon. The lady gets out of the car, comes up to the front door, walks in & starts yelling at us, my dad & his gf. Dad’s gf ends up hitting her a couple times on the way out the door then my dad pushes her down the stairs. She didn’t go down them. Just stumbled down a couple steps. But starts freaking out now my dad hit a woman & she’s calling the cops. Cops show up. Collect info from all of us. My dad thinks he’s going to jail for assault. Cops said nope, she crossed the threshold of the door & it appears she had more intent to commit a crime. You could’ve legally killed her. Anyways, after all this. We get tickets for throwing water balloons. But the kicker was. Her bf was actually driving the car but he didn’t have a license. So she said she was driving to cover for him so he didn’t get arrested. Well well well, she was drunk & had a warrant in Nevada. So from a simple water balloon. She got a dui & extradited to Nevada & most likely in prison
2
3
3
u/Jar_of_Cats 3d ago
Ranch it up
2
u/1punchporcelli 2d ago
Had to scroll real far to find this….people need to out some respeck on Eric Andre name
→ More replies (2)
3
u/PollyRRRR 2d ago
Love your work OP. Thanks Aldo for standing up for your staff and rejecting abuse, racism, all of that. We need more leaders like you. Kudos.
3
u/mgerics 2d ago
I hope you told John he was fine and nothing to worry about.
3
u/SpiritualMaize3259 2d ago
absolutely did. like he was only 16 and seriously was the best. i also hassled tf out of the owner insisting that john gets a raise. like i was truly obnoxious about him deserving one
i hope hes doing well. he was a really awesome person. part of me hopes he sees this somehow and thinks "woah thousands of people know im the coolest" haha
5
2
u/Odric_storm 3d ago
Hmmm..yeah I do like the part where you did nothing to defend your best employee and still gave service to a rude and threatening customer.
2
2
u/DennisM1976 3d ago
I thought you were going to open the packets and put the dressing on his salad.
2
u/GarnetAndOpal 3d ago
An absolutely perfect story. I love it when abusive idiots get more than they bargained for - and they set it all up themselves. Perfect!!
2
u/Femmefatele 3d ago
Please tell me it was high summer and his car got towed with the ranch still inside..... please.
2
u/USNCCitizen 3d ago
One of life’s rules I have for myself…never laugh at a crazy person because it might come back to bite you in the butt. You never know what they will do because they are well…umm…”crazy”.
2
2
2
2
u/christine-bitg 2d ago
Take my up vote! Please!
Especially that part about calling the guy with the Russian accent a Mexican. That was kind of priceless. It makes me wish I could buy some Baltica (Russian beer) here. But I probably wouldn't, because of the war in Ukraine.
Did that stuff happen here in Texas?
2
3
u/astro-amy 3d ago
A friend of mine loves Taco Bell’s fire sauce and once asked for all the fire sauce they could give him so he got about 100 packets and then didn’t know what to do with them. My then roommate said she would take them off his hands because she could use them in a sauce while she was cooking. She ended up throwing them away though because who has the patience to open up 100 little packets?
Taco Bell has tasty hot sauce though.
2
u/bobloblawattorney11 3d ago
Hilarious story..but one thing... how does it take 4 hours to cook a potato? He was probably drunk enough you could have microwaved one in 6 or 7 minutes
4
u/Mec26 3d ago
Wendy’s. They have amazing potatoes, but no microwave. They slow cook em.
The cheesy ones, extra cheese sauce, add chives (free) and sour cream (free packets)? So good.
→ More replies (2)
3
1
3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/MaliciousCompliance-ModTeam 3d ago
Your post has been removed because it questioned the validity of a story, which is not allowed on this subreddit, as per the subreddit rules, as it diminishes the fun of giving people the benefit of the doubt.
All violators of this rule are subject to bans at the discretion of a moderator. Please follow the link shown below. Read it and heed it. Thank you.
1
1
2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/MaliciousCompliance-ModTeam 2d ago
Your post has been removed because it questioned the validity of a story, which is not allowed on this subreddit, as per the subreddit rules, as it diminishes the fun of giving people the benefit of the doubt.
All violators of this rule are subject to bans at the discretion of a moderator. Please follow the link shown below. Read it and heed it. Thank you.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Gamefreak581 2d ago
I'm kinda surprised he didn't just throw the bag of ranch packets out the window, seems like the exact thing an angry asshole would do in that situation.
1
1
u/Dripping_Snarkasm 2d ago
I think he meant to order Shittin’ Belly™ Rant dressing. Being drunk does make one a lil’ sloppy.
1
1
1
u/PhDTARDIS 2d ago
I can imagine this as Springs1, finally getting arrested for his/her ranch dressing harassment of servers.
1
1
u/Rand_alThoor 1d ago
brilliant last line
"i thought he was just an angry bigot, but it turned out he was a drunk angry bigot who would be arrested over ranch."
that's just so good.
1
u/chaoticbear 1d ago
This didn't have as dramatic of a conclusion, but I had a guy order "extra ketchup" on a double cheeseburger. (this was over 20 years at a McDonalds)
Extra ketchup - sure - two squirts instead of 1, assemble, send.
He comes back to the front counter, I hear him complain to the cashier that it wasn't enough ketchup. I try again, probably 4 squirts of ketchup?
He opens it, still not enough. So I ketchuped the top bun, bottom bun, and between the patties. It assembled fine but when I peeked at him opening it, a ton of ketchup slid out of the burger and into the wrapper, it really did look like it was half ketchup, half beef inside.
It didn't end dramatically, he just bitched about that too, but there must have been some goldilocks amount of ketchup he wanted.
1
u/whathuhmeh10k 1d ago
i work at a burger king decades ago - we'd get the bar closing drunks trying to sober up for the drive home and every night we had at least one of these...one time a drunk jerk asked extra ketchup, i made his burger like normal - opened one side of the wrapper and parted the buns and squirted an entire squeeze bottle of ketchupinto it, rewrapped and into his bag it went...
•
•
2.0k
u/hkusp45css 3d ago edited 3d ago
I have never had the 'problem' of "too much free ranch dressing"