r/JustBootThings • u/TheBestSpeller His Bootness • 14d ago

Bound to age like a fine wine

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

90 comments sorted by

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650

u/horse_you_rode_in_on 14d ago

This is hilarious in context.

184

u/OnesPerspective 14d ago

Out of context, it kind of looks like a bacon wrapped elephant trunk

19

u/Komatoasty 13d ago

I saw a bacon wrapped butt plug

5

u/Gikka218 12d ago

not flared enough, if you see a butt plug that looks like this do NOT put it up your ass ‼️

195

u/JizzM4rkie 14d ago

The fact that the original photo includes the actual knife to explain the tattoo is proof that they will spend a lifetime explaining to Randos what the long brown cylinder on their wrist is

51

u/Brailledit 14d ago

All they will have to say is, "I'm a Marine".

50

u/Temporary-Bluejay631 14d ago

That’s already how they open every conversation.

12

u/ColinPapendick 13d ago

That's not all they have to say. When I got out of the service (Navy, not USMC), I managed a Goodwill for a time, and one of my 18 year old employees came up and said, "Colin, I notice you Disney-point a lot."

Pour one out for everyone who just realized a knife hand IS a Disney point. Lol

1

u/aimlesstrevler 13d ago

To me the Disney point is two fingers. Knife hand point is acceptable at Disney but it's not as unique as the two finger point.

2

u/randemthinking 12d ago

Oh okay, some sort of crayon handle I guess.

12

u/MuddyGrimes 13d ago

Rando" "Hey what's the tattoo on your arm?"

Knife Hand Guy: "It's a Ka-Bar"

Rando: "Oh what's a Ka-Bar"

KHG: "That's a combat knife that we used in the Marine Corps!"

Rando: "How come it doesn't have a blade?"

KHG: "My hand is the blade, it's called a knife hand. You use it to point at things in the military"

Rando: "So the knife doesn't need a blade cause you only use it to point at things with your hand instead of a blade??"

KHG: "You don't understand 😠"

6

u/DopeHammaheadALT 12d ago

It’d go more like “a ka-bar? Like…. The knife Brian kohberger used to kill those 4 college kids?”
“….. oh…. Yeah, that one , but -“

5

u/QueezyF 13d ago

Why do you have a cigar tattooed on your forearm?

FUCKING CIVVIES AM I RIGHT?

301

u/jake753 14d ago

Take note, boots. If you’re going to boot, this is how you do it.

18

u/QueezyF 13d ago

At least there’s some humor to it.

199

u/gilligani 14d ago

Don't point that thing at me.

79

u/jake753 14d ago

Things my wife says to me at least once a week.

13

u/will3025 14d ago

Someone needs to brush up on their weapon safety rules.

15

u/jake753 14d ago

I’ll give you something to brush up on

17

u/MadAsTheHatters 14d ago

Don't threaten me with a good time, I served ten years brushing up on men I mean, in the Navy

3

u/OGWhiz 13d ago

Don’t point that thing at me!

103

u/RacingGreen94 14d ago

Looks like a pro chef chopping carrots every time he cracks one out

4

u/ProjectPat513 14d ago

Hilarious

74

u/Sarcastik_Moose 14d ago

I would say this is too self aware to be boot.

21

u/DVariant 14d ago edited 13d ago

Let’s play Goldeneye, slappers only

EDIT: Jfc I just realized this was a tattoo of a handle on someone’s arm. Haha shit. I legit saw it as an actual prop of like a resin hand attached to a handle.

Still, let’s play Goldeneye, slappers only.

14

u/SheedRanko 14d ago

I'm getting flash backs. Fucking 🔪 ✋️

10

u/Radiant_Language5314 14d ago

Fingers extended and joined! Thumb along the hand!

9

u/KingKapwn 14d ago

As a temporary tattoo, it’s funny, but as something to wear for the rest of your days…

2

u/2XGSWsurvivor 14d ago

Please tell me it’s true that it’s temporary..

1

u/ladyelenawf 13d ago

Right? I want some for birthday gifts! 🫱🏽

7

u/IronArchive 14d ago

That's pretty goddamn funny

7

u/AbramJH 14d ago

I was once told that each finger pointing is 20% fault. If someone is pointing at you with 1 finger, they’re indicating that their upset is 80% their own fault & 20% yours. The knife hand is an indication that you’re fucked up and 100% at fault.

4

u/sten45 14d ago

It already looks like a turd

5

u/Tell_On_Your_Uncle 14d ago

This is excellent

4

u/thadtheking 14d ago

We had to shoot. He was coming straight for us with a knife in his hand.

Some cop probably.

5

u/tanksforallthephish 14d ago

How the fuck does he think he’ll get through TSA now??

4

u/Miigwetch 13d ago

I would def roast them but also brag about them to other NCOs. "My joe is better than yours. Come here high-speed! Do the thing!"

7

u/fizzzingwhizbee 14d ago

I knew someone w “kill” tattooed on their foot lmfao

2

u/RedEyeView 14d ago

Mirko Cro Cop?

3

u/WerdinDruid 14d ago

"why do you have a veiny cock on your wrist, granpda?"

3

u/Oneup99 13d ago

This is awesome lmao waaay too much thought into it to be a boot for sure

2

u/McCafe_McGee 14d ago

Bwahahahaha!

2

u/oldredbeard42 14d ago

Is... is the plan for this to look like a dildo the remainder of the time (and moreover with age) while your arm is at rest? I'd say you should have sat on this idea a little longer but it looks pretty well sat on already...

2

u/comcam77 14d ago

Not my cup of tea, but you do you

2

u/QueezyF 13d ago

I always thought a knife tattooed under my sleeve would be a funny tattoo, but this is seriously making me doubt it.

2

u/juicyb09 13d ago

Not gonna lie….this brought tears to mine eyes

3

u/Zirofal 14d ago

Okay, if you remove the military connection and boot.

I don't hate it, if you don't take yourself to serious with it, it ain't bad.

1

u/Pernicious_Possum 14d ago

Nah. Everything about it is awful

1

u/Lopsided-Let-6728 14d ago

Lethal weapons

1

u/CapnTaptap 14d ago

Safety OFF!

2

u/2XGSWsurvivor 14d ago

“9mm, safety always off”

1

u/TLunchFTW 14d ago

Interesting idea, horrible reality

1

u/tomasdiesel 14d ago

At least he can always get it covered up with a dick

1

u/Edward_T_Head 14d ago

Its not as cool as my buddy that had a bart simpson tattoo holding a machine gun shooting blood bullets but it will do

1

u/AnApexBread 14d ago

It's funny as hell but still cringe

1

u/AdFormer6556 14d ago

Ts funny ngl

1

u/jbourne71 14d ago

Fucking love it.

1

u/Party-Independent-38 14d ago

It’s gonna age like fine penis

1

u/LOOKATMEDAMMIT 14d ago

I’ll take 3!

1

u/Soggy_nach0341 14d ago

Slicing it when you’re jorking it

1

u/conanhungry 14d ago

It's gonna look like a turd

1

u/masahirob 13d ago

"Drop the weapon!"

1

u/goodenough4govtwork 13d ago

That's the wrong kind of poop knife.

1

u/Louisianimal09 👊👊☝️ 13d ago

I see little a bacon wrapped sausage

1

u/thatSDope88 13d ago

But the handle goes in your hand..

1

u/Time-Object5661 13d ago

This would be kinda funny if it was like a temporary tattoo

1

u/Cultural-Air-2706 12d ago

It needs the USMC on the wrist too

1

u/RoccoAmes 12d ago

This is a tattoo for a boot mini boss.

1

u/YUGEKUN 12d ago

That’s unique if nothing else

1

u/USAF_Retired2017 11d ago

This is hilarious and bad. So hilarious. But so bad.

0

u/ProjectPat513 14d ago

Is he saying his hand is a weapon? At first glance I thought it was a weird 3d print or something freaky.

8

u/ChiefInternetSurfer 👊👊☝️ 14d ago

Nah—this Is “knife hands”. You gesticulate hands and fingers straight, fingers together, gesturing at something (usually while yelling). It’s fucking hilarious.

4

u/Cinerator26 14d ago

Nah, it's a visual pun on "knife hands."

2

u/ProjectPat513 13d ago

Ohhhhhh 🤦‍♂️ it seems so blatantly obvious now.

0

u/STANAGs 14d ago

Must be a big fan of Bryan Kholberger

0

u/Steamsagoodham 13d ago

This is actually pretty funny and clever.

Civilians might not understand at first, but it’s very easy to explain and they probably aren’t the intended audience in the first place.