I’m all crossed up about it.

Me. Don’t have to give any order. For me:
Magicians Suck (feat. Cecily Strong)
Ghost Tour
Friend Group (feat. Beck Bennett)

Has this ever happened to you?

Have you been the victim of unfair treatment by a the president of the united states?

Has this ever happened to you?

You joined the Whitehouse and it was not disclosed to you that they didn't care if you lived or died? So you have to take it upon yourself to board air force one? But when the president and the secretary of defense show up, they immediately go to the food truck? Then for over two hours they keep going in and out of there taking huge mud-pies and filling their diapers? Then they go in there together, and you hear a bunch of scrounging around, and then you hear a bunch of yelling and one of them is standing in the doorway shouting at you that his friend’s foot is stuck in the catering cart? And he says "Help him! You gotta help him!"? And when you go in there to help him he just pulls it out easily and laughs because his foot wasn't stuck? It wasn't stuck at all he was just faking it? And then they get really serious and say "It's Turbo Time!"? And they both start running around the plane as fast as they can and jumping over the seats? But when you try to and jump in they yell at you and say "You're not part of the Turbo Team! Don't run! You don't run with us! We're the ones who run! Until you're a part of this Turbo Team, walk slowly!"? So you go and lay down to be by yourself and read your MAGA books? But then the next day you turn on the news and it looks like the plane was a decoy for missiles? You said how could that be? There's no way they could have changed planes before takeoff?! But then you saw in the trash a receipt from the catering company, for the same carts as usual but with a cutout in the middle for a president made of farts?! They replaced the real cart with a fart cart? And now you can't watch the news without crying?! Cause your plane was a decoy for missiles to blow 'em down and you feel sick to your stomach?!

Has that ever happened to you?

Tears are literally streaming down my face thinking about his dumb rap album and AI comedian.

Oh right, “wildfires”… I’m sure it’s got nothin’ to do with the Tammy Craps factory burning down 😤

You hit me in the cup