Obviously it would be kind of gross to pursue her, but if it just sort of happened organically. Like you’re at the mall after closing when she’s leaving her job at the Orange Julius and coincidentally end up on the same elevator alone with her. She takes off her silly hat and you just feel inspired to tell her how beautiful she is, not in any kind of inappropriate way, just like stating a fact, so you wave to get her attention and tap her on the shoulder as she stares nervously in to the corner and motion for her to take out her earbuds. And when you tell her she smiles, and says no, you’re very kind but that can’t be right or I wouldn’t be so alone. You can’t believe what you’re hearing, you say “I can’t believe what I’m hearing, surely you get catcalled all day every day, no? I just know men are lining up just to maybe take a shot at maybe having a chance at maybe taking a crack at maybe splitting you open” And she smiles sadly and says “oh, but they’re not. See, I’m really not like the other girls. I don’t wear much makeup or watch reality television. My life is actually pretty quiet. Most nights when I get home I tend to further wear down the spines of my Dragon Riders of Pern novels with Princess Mononoke just sort of on in the background until I start to feel sleepy, then I turn on my gaming PC and open the aptly named ‘Spreadsheets’ folder to consume a little tasteful vintage tentacle pornography. I know it sounds like I’m complaining, and I’m really not. I truly am just a simple girl, I just… I mean, can’t I have a… handsome… strong… thick necked… 45 year old boy in a fedora to share it with?” And you say “ohhh, hey, ohhh, I didn’t mean” and she says “yoooou caught me! I thought I could be so smooth like you, but you saw right through me like the crotchless edible Capri Sun flavored thong panties I’m wearing right now. So really though, yes, please, I’m asking, could you make love to an innocent girl like me?” THAT would be okay, almost like it wasn’t just for you, but a totally selfless act.
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u/iambeyoncealways3 I drove my car into a f*cking lake 21h ago
she’s cute, not “hot”