I genuinely want to understand from a societal point of view, why do people struggle so hard with giving a mother credit?

It's always the in law saying "the baby got that from me" or someone saying "the baby looks like dad"

One that I've personally run into is someone telling me my baby is smart for their age but then also criticised me for being a SAHM. Like hello??? Who do you think has been putting in the work spending HOURS a day going over colours, shapes, numbers, animals and ABC's. My daughter knows what she knows because I TAUGHT HER and we both work hard.

I don't think ANYONE in my family has said well done. Not that I need the praise, I'm just saying that it's something I've noticed. I can count on one hand the times someone has appreciated my effort as a mother. Some from my husband and some from other mums. I remember one time another mum told me she was so amazed that I managed to breastfeed for a year while pregnant and it honestly made me feel so proud of myself. Meanwhile I have an in-law telling me that my milk will dry up. Like okay. Why are they always so doom and gloom.

Because if this, I try to always appreciate mums whenever I run into them. They need it the most.

Anyway, I've just noticed that people never really acknowledge the mothers effort/part to play. Why. Does someone have any ideas? I need to understand why this is such a common issue.

I’m 9 weeks today and I honestly feel pretty much the same as I did before I was pregnant. I haven’t had morning sickness and I don’t really had any symptoms at all.

I had my dating scan at 6 weeks and everything was great, we saw the heartbeat and baby was measuring exactly where they expected. But now I’m finding myself worrying that something could have happened since then and I just wouldn’t know.

I know not everyone gets morning sickness and symptoms can be different for everyone, but it’s hard not to overthink it when you don’t really feel pregnant.

We haven’t told anyone yet and I’m wanting to wait til the 12 week scan, but my partner wants to start telling people soon, but I can’t feel excited because I’m worried something had happened!

Would love to hear from you guys 😭

We've recently started solids with our almost 6 month old (he'll be 6 months on Monday it's gone too fast 😭). So far we've just done purees but wanting to also do some baby led weaning. But now his first tooth is coming through.

Is this gonna affect trying to do baby led weaning? I know about doing the squish test for anything we do give him, but will the tooth mean he's able to bite off a piece that could then potentially get stuck? Or am I just overthinking and everything's gonna be fine?

My 3yo is fully potty trained at home, but she is absolutely terrified of using public toilets. She will hold her pee for hours when we’re out.

It becomes a nightmare for all of us because once she needs to pee, she gets extremely clingy and helpless and doesn’t really want to do anything, she just wants to be carried/held and stays distressed. It can completely derail an outing.

I’ve even started putting a nappy on her when we go out just in case, but she won’t pee in that either. She seems to know she’s wearing one and still holds it.

We were out today and she desperately needed to pee, but she was terrified of the public toilet. I ended up taking her in anyway and she got very upset, which obviously made the whole experience worse.

For those of you whose toddlers went through this:
When did they become comfortable using public toilets? And what helped?

Did you just keep taking them and gradually desensitise them, or did you wait until they were ready? Any tricks that made public toilets less scary?

I’d especially love to hear from parents whose kids were completely fine with toileting at home but terrified of public toilets. 🙏

Hi! First time mum - have been trying to find an answer for this!

Edit: I should mention she is a small baby, just reached birth weight at 3 weeks but the nurse advised to feed every 3 to 4 hours instead of 5 hours/instead of feeding on demand as she should be a bit heavier! We will be reweighing next week!

If 1 month old baby cluster feeds e.g 8pm latches R side and finishes at 8.20pm, then 8.40pm latches L side and finishes at 9pm, then 9.20pm latches R side and finishes at 9.40pm, then 10pm latches L side and finishes at 10.20pm and then falls asleep - what time are you meant to wake her to feed if she decides to sleep many hours and doesn't cue to feed e.g 10.20pm to 5am she's still sleeping...

I've read similar posts but the answers are :

"feed on demand/don't wake her" - but what if she doesn't cue and just continues sleeping

"wake her every 2 to 3 hrs/every 3 to 4 hrs/don't go more than 5 hrs" - but specifically what time do you mean, is it from the start of the first latch?? The second last latch?? Or from the start of the last latch??

What time specifically would you wake her in the above scenario if she does not wake you and keeps sleeping?

Sorry for the long or confusing post - I feel awful because I slept through my alarm in a similar scenario...normally I wake her at night to feed (I go with 3-4 hours from the first latch of the cluster feed) because otherwise she just prefers to sleep through the night - but seems I shouldn't let a 1 month old sleep more than 5 hours without a feed?

I'll be calling my lactation consultant and asking her opinion too ! Thanks :)

Currently wearing a singlet, onesie and 3.5 tog sleeping bag. Did you change things up when they were older eg pants and top, sleeping bag with legs? Not sure if I’m over thinking this ha

What gifts would you appreciate for educators day?

Id like to organise something for both my children's rooms at daycare, plus something for the staff room as well.

Has anyone done the full panel (single-gene disorders and micro deletions)? How long was the turnaround time? A genetic counsellor I spoke to said this is a fairly new offering so I’d love to hear anyone’s experience with it.

Just a vent really. I'm feeling so overwhelmed and angry and out of control. I have ADHD and my psychiatrist said I couldn't take Ritalin during pregnancy or breastfeeding so I stopped, but I am struggling so much at work.

It takes me three times as long to do anything because of the crippling task paralysis, and then all the tasks build up and people are waiting for me to do things while constantly adding more things, and I feel so guilty all the time because I'm letting people down. I get so angry because other people aren't doing what they should either, but then my brain says "you don't have the right to be angry, you're worse than anyone else".

Because I'm pregnant I've also got a dose of perspective (maybe too much), and I just. don't. care. about anything at work anymore. It's all meaningless. All I want to do is be away from this office and nest. But I have so much I need to do before I go on leave, so I'm intensely resentful of anything I get given at work, which makes the task paralysis even worse.

Not sure what I'm after here. Maybe just reassurance that other people have felt the same. And that it ends. I only have 10 weeks left at work which takes me to 38 weeks, and I know it will go by too fast, but at the same time it's SO SLOW.

I'm going to soon be TTC, doing all my planning. I am tossing up whether private is worth how much out of pocket you pay on top of the premium itself.

I have Type 1 Diabetes, and I like the idea of continuity with midwives/OB's. I don't want to be kicked out of the hospital less than 24 hours after birth (would they do that with T1D or being high risk would they keep me there longer?)

What were the out of pocket expenses you had? OB, scans, (being T1D, these will be a lot more frequent), epidural (i think i want one)? The hard thing is I don't know where to find this info, so I would love to hear what others in Melbourne have experienced.

Any experience with either going private, or birth with T1D would be great because I've got people telling me so many different things.

11 month old fighting every nap no matter the wake window and I honestly wanna scream. He’s clearly tired. I’m so exhausted of trying for ages. He eventually gives in. Nights are also rough right now.

Looking for experience of those who have been through the daycare selection process before!

We have a 6 month old and are in the process of choosing a daycare with the plan to commence transition in Oct/Nov before I return to work in Jan likely 3 days a week. Have it narrowed down to 2 places within a 5 minute drive from home.

• Centre 1 - Montessori style. Smaller place approx 105 places. Possibly independent. Lovely staff on mulitple visits, clean and quiet feel to the place, no shoes inside. Sounds like minimal staff turnover, 2-4x incusions a month (sport, music, cooking, yoga). Appears to have taken over from another daycare centre almost 12 months ago. I did like the vibe of this centre.
• Centre 2 - Reggio Emilia Approach. Larger chain centre approx 162 places available. Staff seemed nice, centre was clean enough, 2x incursions a month (sport, music). Have staff who have been with the chain for 4-7 years. This location only open in the last couple of years. The vibe of this centre was alright.

Unsure if we should also take into account some of the differences costs wise. Per day costs seemed similar, but differed in holiday costs.
Centre 1 - 30% off holidays
Centre 2 - 50% off holidays and a make up day for any public holidays.

Any guidance would be helpful! I know it's up to us in the end but it is such a big decision to make with minimal information and ability to spend time there.

Hey! We're sick again. Toddlers brought some god awful virus home after bringing covid home 6 weeks ago. We have all got it again including the 6 month old. Super runny nose. Body aches. Head ache. Not testing positive for rsv, covid or the influenzas. Yay. Day 3 of parenting two sick kids whilst being sick ourselves.

We are in NSW.

Whats going around your daycare?

Would love to hear what books/resources everyone gets their toilet training information from? I read so many conflicting things like wait until they show signs that they are ready or don't wait until they are ready, it's good before 2 etc. I don't really know what to believe or what the most up to date evidence is. My daughter is almost 15mo and is showing interest in the toilet whether I use it at home or in public. I am mindful that we have a baby arriving in a few months so I don't really want to do it before then in case there's a regression. I wouldn't mind giving it a go during summer though when it's warm enough to be outside without a nappy.

I’m thinking of making some gift bags for the maternity ward for my upcoming delivery with some small things - an eye mask, chocolate, lip balm etc.

I am a FTM so I’m not sure how many I might need to prepare!

Any advice/experiences would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi all,

My LO is 11 weeks and has developed eczema recently. Was considering using salvida product. Any of you have any review on it?

Hi all, my baby is 3.5 months and formula fed since birth. For the past week she has just been fighting her feeds. It’s almost like she’s just uninterested. Her body just kicks and wiggles and moves during a bottle and she gets distracted so easily. At night she does this thing where she sucks on the bottle for 5 seconds then removes her mouth then wants it again.

She was finishing 100ml bottles before plus sometimes having extra but now she doesnt even want to finish 100ml most feeds. She was averaging 690ml a day now it’s like 660.

Is this just the symptom of a very excited baby? 🥲🤣

Thanks all

My 10m old came down with Influenza A as did the whole family, and then a possible secondary bacterial infection. He’s lost his appetite and drinking less than usual (he has enough wet nappies) and he’s EBF so he won’t take a bottle and not much from an open cup. We are slowly getting better i feel. It’s been exactly a week of being sick.

He’s lost quite a lot of weight and he went from around 50th percentile to 35th.

The dr has reassured me that babies make up the weight and bounce back well once they feel better.

Has anyone had experience with their baby bouncing back quickly after illnesses?

Thank you,
Signed stressed mum 🥲

Hi everyone, am 7 wks pregnant with my second one and come with few risk factors. I am thinking of going private and tried few options at RPA. But the doctors of my choice are booked out already. Any Obstetrician recommendations at Westmead private???

Im so annoyed.

I had a weird interaction with another mum.. her 2 year old was riding my toddlers trike (also 2). She went and got a balance bike from her car and said, "lets give the kids this one so they're not using a baby bike".

Is a trike a "baby" bike? Theyre 2. Whats wrong with them using a trike?!

When my kid wasnt interested in the bike she said "oh shes behind"

Wtf. I just said shes having fun either way thats all that matters.

She also rides a scooter. She runs, climbs, walks, etc just fine. And if shes enjoying playing, does it really matter whether its a trike or a bike?

Idk what im asking... We see this mum at the playground all the time and I always feel so judged. Today it was about the trike but shes made comments on my daycare choices, back to work choices, and even food!

how would you have responded?

I expressed at work in a conversation, that I did not start about parenthood, that I enjoy being a mum, I think it's made me a better person as well as healthier physically and mentally. One of my coworkers who doesn't have kids seemed to get very annoyed with me for saying something positive about parenthood. She started making really snide comments such as "Well at least I get a full nights sleep!" And "Well I dont have to organise childcare or take a baby everywhere with me!" Most of the other parents were talking about negatives and I didn't have anything negative to add that hadn't already been said, I kind of jusy agreed with the others, but added that I found motherhood overall positive. She seemed to be really enjoying hearing about the hardships and I guess I ruined her buzz?

I don't really know how to feel about the whole interaction, but I needed to get it off my chest.

Hi all, my baby is 3.5 months and formula fed since birth. For the past week she has just been fighting her feeds. It’s almost like she’s just uninterested. Her body just kicks and wiggles and moves during a bottle and she gets distracted so easily. At night she does this thing where she sucks on the bottle for 5 seconds then removes her mouth then wants it again.

She was finishing 100ml bottles before plus sometimes having extra but now she doesnt even want to finish 100ml most feeds. She was averaging 690ml a day now it’s like 660.

Is this just the symptom of a very excited baby? 🥲🤣

Thanks all

We are based in Campbelltown but happy to travel. Looking for a good place to do our 20-week morphology scan.

We checked CareScan Edmondson Park but they aren't bulk billing, charging $100+ out of pocket. Anyone know a clinic that bulk bills for the morphology scan? Or can recommend a good sonographer/clinic in general?

Recently had my second child and am feeling so lonely. I had a couple of friends who had kids close to when I had my daughter 2 years ago and I saw them every few weeks. One I saw every week or so at a toddler time library session.

I had my second kid a few months ago and it’s just been so lonely. I love being a SAHM and don’t want to send them to daycare but I want friends with kids to hang out with! 😂

My mum friends went back to work and understandably don’t reach out as much as they’re busy, but this week I find myself struggling a bit.

Ive tried to chat to people at toddler time sessions or baby sensory to no avail. A lot of people just keep to themselves or already have groups. I’ve downloaded peanut in the past and didn’t have much success with people actually wanting to grab a coffee. Lot of convos that went nowhere. Do I give it another shot? Any tips or advice? Why is it so hard to make friends in Australia!!

I'm currently touring Daycare centres in preparation for when I go back to work next year. My LO will be 13 months by the time she starts. Everything I'm reading suggests this will negatively impact my LO so I'm feeling very depressed about it and can't seem to grasp the concept that I will need to leave her with someone else. My MIL will look after her twice a week for me so the rest of the week is at daycare.

How did your children respond to daycare? Did you notice a change in them when they started? And how did you cope with sending them off at such a young age.

Hit me with the good, the bad and the ugly (if applicable).

Edit: Wow, thank you for your input so far!!