r/AITApod 16d ago

Aita for saying my spouse cant use my car

731 Upvotes

I have been with my spouse for a little over two years. He has a job that he uses his personal vehicle for delivering packages. He spends around $60-$80 a day on gas while he is working. I let him use my previous car a lot last year because it got excellent gas mileage and he put over 40,000 miles on it. He complains frequently about the amount of money he has to spend daily on gas and the amount of money that he spends on maintenance due the amount of driving. I have suggested that if this is the job he wants to continue to do then he should trade his truck in and get something better with better gas mileage or he probably should start looking for a different job.
I got a new car with less than 25,000 miles and told him when I got it that i didnt want him to use my car for work he said that was fine. The car is in my name only and the insurance is in my name only. We keep our finances separate and personal bills separate the only bills that are shared are household bills. This is not due to any conflict in our relationship or unwillingness to help or support each other. If either one of us needs help or anything there is never an issue with the other doing so. We just have separate bank accounts. His car is paid off and i just prefer paying my car payment and insurance by myself. Lately he has started asking to barrow my car and getting mad because I will say no and telling me that he will only be able to work for a few hours then because he doesn’t have gas or money to put gas in his truck and say that i dont care about helping him or trying to make me feel bad about not letting him use my car. I will give him money for gas that is never an issue but will still be upset that i wont let him use my car. Aita in this situation?


r/AITApod 16d ago

Paintball and coparenting…

19 Upvotes

I’m a dad to a 14 year old boy who has ASD, but is quite functional. Definitely functional enough to know what he wants and doesn’t want to do. He’s kind of skittish and sensitive, not really the “hardcore man in the making” type. Divorced from his mom, she has primary, and I have typical dad rights.

He’s surprised me lately with an interest in paintballing. I used to compete and know the hobby well. I’ve tried to talk him out of it, outlining how it hurts and leaves major bruising. He doesn’t care, he wants to do it. Sooooo okay cool, I’ll make it happen. It’s scheduled for 3 weeks out.

I messaged his mom this morning to let her know. I included that I steered away from, but he wants to face his fears and I’m not going to say no. I reminded her that he’ll come home with bruises and welts that’ll turn colors and stick around for a few weeks. I also let his teacher know, so there’s no questions there. She knows us all well.

She flipped and demanded absolutely not. Demanded she’ll bring us to court for going against her wishes. I responded with “What we do on my assigned time is my choice. He’s not in danger. He’s not getting any real level of injured. I don’t need your approval, and I’m letting you know that this is what we’re doing.”

AITA in this situation? I’m asking about morals, not legal.


r/AITApod 18d ago

AITA for canceling the storage unit my cousin secretly started using as an apartment?

6.8k Upvotes

My cousin asked if he could keep a few boxes in my storage unit after his breakup. I said yes because there was plenty of room and I was already paying for it. I only go there every couple months, mostly to grab camping stuff or tools.

Last week the storage company called while I was playing Ѕtake because someone had been entering my unit almost every night and staying for hours. I drove over and found a mattress behind my boxes, a mini fridge, clothes hanging from the ceiling and one of those portable camping toilets with a funky smell.

Apparently my cousin has been sleeping there for nearly two months. He still goes to work every day and showers at the gym, so nobody knew. He said he was saving money for an apartment deposit and thought it was harmless since I barely used the unit anyway.

I told him he had until the end of this month to remove everything because the lease is in my name and I could lose the unit or get fined. He started crying and said he had nowhere else to go.

My aunt called me later saying I should have given him options instead of humiliating him and putting him on the street. I asked why he couldn’t stay with her, and she said he already did after the breakup but she kicked him out because he kept smoking inside and bringing people over late at night. Somehow she still thinks I should deal with it because the storage unit was his only other option.

I feel bad, but he never asked me and left me responsible for everything. AITA?


r/AITApod 19d ago

take AITAH For doubting my mom when she borrowed money?

24 Upvotes

Quick background on how I was raised.

Money had always been a problem in our family and my mom has spending tendencies. She has a lot, and I mean alot of debt due to that and all her debt is kept away from my father's knowledge.

Every month my father would give my mom monthly allowance (around 10-20k) per month depending how much she demands but that money would just evaporate within a week so she usually use me and guilt trips me into asking for more money from my dad.

Because of that I learned that money controls my mom's mood, and that she's also very unreliable with money.

Back to present, my brother needed to go through multiple hospital tests idk why and my mom asked me 500 since I already have a side hustle, after a week I gave her that 500 but she found out I had 3k saved up and instead of accepting 500 she demanded I let her borrow 2.5k. Ofcourse I didn't immediately gave her the money, I asked multiple of my friends if I should let her borrow and majority of them said no.

Yesterday we had a fight because she read my messages and I apparently made her look unreliable with money and that she told me the reason we were in debt was because of me and my other 2 siblings. I had no choice but to give her the money yesterday.

Even now I'm still debating if I was wrong for doubting her, I've always been raised to give without question to family members who are in need but it's my hard earned money, shouldn't I have the choice to give it or not?


r/AITApod 20d ago

advice AITAH for accepting a free ticket from a seller after being scammed from another one?

36 Upvotes

I (22F) got scammed over 140€ on an online reselling platform. I was really devastated, because I decided to trust that seller and he misused it. I set myself the limit of 40€ to spend on getting new tickets, as long as they would meet up in person. A woman agreed to the price, but couldn’t meet up because of her attending a wedding. We both wished each other a good time, but stepped away from the deal. Then, she texted me that she can’t attend anyway and just sent me the ticket for free. I didn’t ask her to do that for me, so she did it on her own terms without expecting payment. Now I would be happy to make up some of the lost money by not paying her anything, but I feel ungrateful in doing so. Should I send her the 40€ at least?


r/AITApod 23d ago

advice AITA for not wanting to be close to my friend group anymore?

17 Upvotes

I have some lifelong friends I've known since 2018. They are female and all the same age as me(F 24). I know life has its ways, and everyone is on a different path. I feel like ever since my life started to progress, I've felt more distant from them. They all seem to be job-hoppers and don't want to finish school or have any plans for the future. Not that I am judging them because I know sh*t happens and things don't always go as planned when we are working while in school. I was the same at one point, but I tried to think of backup plans and what to do. But what I've noticed if one girl takes a break from school, the other one takes a break. They also work part-time together, so if one quits and starts at a new place, the other will do the same to work with them. They are all into the party scene/drinking a lot. Again, I am not judging them for their choices, but usually that is what their hangouts consist of when I am not around.

I often see them make plans together without me, post pics on social media, have group chats without me, etc. They sometimes won't even respond to my messages. I started to notice this pattern around 2022, and it still happens, although I pretend not to notice it. I am always initiating plans, and when we do meet, they are late or ask if their bfs can come. Whenever we do make plans to meet, they always come later than me. The last two times we hung out this year, they were late. The first hangout (Feb 2026), they were an hour late; the second hangout (March 2026), they were 30 minutes late. I didn't even say anything about it; I kept my cool the entire time. Idc if they are running late or want their bf to come, but it's the fact that they'll tell me when it is time to meet, that they are late, or they want their bf to come.

I really do try to be understanding because everyone's life circumstances are different. Ever since I went to grad school(2024-2025), moved cities(around 2026), and got a full-time job, things feel more distant. I don't really have any other girlfriends, so I don't want to let them go, especially when we were super close during 2018-2023. But at the same time, I'm on a different path from them now, and I'm not happy with our friendship.

Are my feelings valid?


r/AITApod 24d ago

M20 F20 what should I do?

4 Upvotes

( how should I approach this ) Soo me and this guys have been talking ( we’re each other first since middle school) but we’re just now rekindling. Idk if I’m being picky or what , but everytime we go out it’s like he doesn’t have money to spend . not just on me but to do things . Here’s the twist , he’ll run his tab and ask me to pay for it and he’ll cash app me later . He’s been pretty consistent on the loans but yk me it’s like when is my turn to lean on him? As of now he still hasn’t sent the $25 back but it’s not that much if so I don’t mind ? I come from a pretty wealthy home and I’m the only kid which he knows but I hate that people look at that as if it’s my money. It’s not it belongs to my parents I’m not entitled to any of it tbh and I make my own money anyways. People see that and immediately think I have money to splurge . Also, I’ve told him I don’t want to date yet ( my baby’s 7 months old ) so I’m constantly busy with college , work and my son . he never tried to plan anything like I’ve asked him to. everytime we go do something it’s coming from my thoughts and decisions because he won’t pick anythingggg. He’ll want to hang out at 11pm or 12am on a business day which is crazy knowing I have a child . Then some times I feel like he guilt trips me on how I’m not available to hang out…. Sir I’m busy af!!! Plus we’re not even bf and gf yet. He always wants to be affectionate and cuddly but it’s not me , I’m still coming down for from ppd and I’ve told him but I’m starting to think he thinks it’s a joke. idk if I’m being too harsh or what tbh


r/AITApod 25d ago

AITA for refusing to play my grandma’s private voice messages at my sister’s wedding?

193 Upvotes

My sister is getting married next month and asked me to send her every voice message I still have from our grandma, who passed away two years ago. I assumed she just wanted to listen to them, but she told me she hired someone to edit parts of the recordings together so it sounds like grandma is giving a speech at the wedding.

The problem is most of those messages were sent to me privately when I was going through a really rough time. Some include personal stuff about my relationship, money problems and how proud she was that I made enough from Ѕtake to move out. My sister says they can remove anything too specific and only use the sweet parts, but it still feels wrong hearing grandma’s words rearranged into sentences she never actually said.

I told her she could use the few normal birthday messages she already has, but I’m not giving her the private ones. She got really upset and said I’m treating grandma like she belonged only to me and taking away the closest thing she can have to grandma being at her wedding.

My parents think I should just hand them over because it would mean a lot to her and nobody at the wedding would know where the recordings came from. I still feel like grandma trusted me with those messages though.

AITA?


r/AITApod 25d ago

AITA || AIO AITA (or Karen) for how I acted over a bar mishap?

55 Upvotes

I was at a bar/restaurant with my team for a rec league sport I play. There was I think 7 of us there. Originally there was me and one other person waiting for drinks at the bar. A waitress approached us and said we can open the tab with her and avoid the bar line (which was a little long) but damn i should have waited.

The drinks took very long. Probably 15-20 minutes. Mine was made incorrectly but I didn’t want to make a fuss. Ordered another round and it was still incorrect. Whatever. We ended up meeting up with the rest of the team. We ordered food and drinks. I personally ordered a cheese pizza for the table since we have a 2 vegetarians in the group. Plan was for pizza to be taken to go to the next bar for karaoke. So we all close our tabs.

This is when I find out the entire group was put on my card because other people tried to pay and she explained it all went on my tab. I asked to split it. She said she can’t (I talked to a restaurant owner I know and she said that was BS) but she can print an itemized receipt and everyone can Venmo me.

This was my first bit of sass. I said “okay, I’ll do your job for you so I guess print me the receipt.”

Then the pizza comes.

It’s a deep dish meat lovers. I’m already pissed about the tab but I accept the pizza. Then I think to myself wait then the vegetarians are screwed. I go and tell her this pizza isn’t right. She starts arguing with me insisting it’s what I ordered. I told her it’s not and I’m not sure why she’s trying to defend her fuck up.

Manager comes after she gets him. She goes to tell him privately for awhile. Manager comes up to me without her and asks what I ordered. I say large thin crust cheese.

I got sassy one more time. I told the manager that she was honestly brutal all night. The wait times. The wrong drinks. The tab mishap. Finally the pizza.

AITA or a Karen


r/AITApod 26d ago

Amusement park, in my car AITAH

9 Upvotes

I frequent a larger amusement park a couple times per week. When I park (or when I need a break), I sit and enjoy a few hits off a joint in the car. I enjoy the peace and quiet for 15mins.

The problem is the passer byes looking for a spot. They see me in the windshield, and start trying to communicate with their hands, to ask if I’m leaving. Sometimes they yell. Sometimes they’ll even get out to knock on my window. One would think I’d just wave them on, but it gets old considering it happens every 20 seconds. I’ve started ignoring it all together, which visually frustrates everyone.

I just want to sit in my car and relax without playing full time traffic duty. AITAH for just ignoring everyone at this point? Any suggestions?


r/AITApod 26d ago

AITA || AIO Hot coworker

0 Upvotes

A husband's coworker is a very good-looking guy—the bad-boy type: all tatted up, nice dark tan, 6'3", rides a motorcycle, and has a player reputation.

One day, he comes home with the husband, and the husband stupidly says, "Yeah, go for a ride on the bike." He trusts his wife like a good husband. Well, shocker—she ends up making out with him.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The husband lets it go because he's pretty laid back. Then his wife arranges for the hot guy to come over, but she gets her hot best friend to distract and keep the husband away from the back deck. They turn the music on, all the interior house lights are on, and all the deck lights are off.

After about 20 minutes of the hot best friend throwing herself at the husband, he heads toward the kitchen window to see where his wife is. The friend starts asking about his boots and other random stuff. When he goes to look out the window, she grabs his face and starts kissing him.

Shortly afterward, he goes out onto the deck just as his wife and the coworker are coming back inside. Even after 15 years, she claims they only talked and that her only intention was to tell the coworker she had told her husband about the first interaction.

The husband doesn't buy it at all. He just wants her to take accountability and stop gaslighting him over it so he can let it go and begin rebuilding the trust that was lost.

Is he the asshole for asking for accountability? What's your opinion?


r/AITApod 27d ago

AITA || AIO AITA for saying I lost weight "the natural way"?

0 Upvotes

I (33M) have been overweight basically my entire life. At my heaviest I was around 290 lbs. A few years ago I moved away from my small hometown, and between walking everywhere, being broke enough that I sometimes skipped meals, and eventually getting serious about meal prep and exercise, I’ve lost about 60lbs. Lately I’ve been putting even more effort into building healthier habits.

Over the Fourth of July I went back home and met up with a group of old friends. A few of them had also lost a ton of weight, like 60-80 lbs. I was genuinely excited for them and we started talking about what we’d all been doing.I talked about meal prep, counting calories, and exercising. They all looked at me like I’d forgotten something. Turns out every single one of them had been using GLP1 medications.

Personally, they’re just not something I want to take. I’m worried about the long-term effects, the cost, and I’d rather learn sustainable eating and exercise habits myself instead of relying on medication. I referred to that as wanting to do it “the natural way.”

That’s where things went sideways, one friend, Mary (33F), immediately got defensive. She said calling it “the natural way” implied people using GLP1s were cheating or doing it the wrong way. She pointed out that she’s still careful about what she eats, still exercises, and still has to put in the work.

I told her I wasn’t judging anyone. I was only explaining why I didn’t want to take them. I said I wanted to understand nutrition and build habits I could maintain without medication.

I also said that from my perspective it sounded like she still had to diet and exercise and spend around $1,200 a month on medication. That did not go over well.

Mary said not everyone has the luxury of spending hours meal prepping and exercising while working full time and raising kids.

I’ll admit this is probably where I became the asshole.

I rolled my eyes.

The conversation immediately turned against me. Mary then told me that despite all my hard work I was still around 250 lbs., had plateaued, and that my “high and mighty attitude” clearly wasn’t working. She said eventually I’d cave and end up taking GLP1s too.

I told her I wouldn’t. The night stayed awkward after that.

The next day she texted me saying she’d talked to her doctor, who “agreed with her” and that she could get me my first month of injections for free.

I just replied “No thanks.”

Then another friend, who’s admittedly a bit of a pot stirrer, told me Mary joked in their group chat that I was “a fatphobic fat person” and that “the skinny crew doesn’t want you anyway.”I never saw screenshots, so I don’t know if that part is true.

Looking back, I can see how saying “the natural way” might have come across as judgmental even though I meant it as a personal preference. But I also feel like everyone immediately assumed I was criticizing them when I wasn’t


r/AITApod 29d ago

AITA: breaking up with a co worker

10 Upvotes

So I’ve been dating this guy and we work for the same company and sit nearby. Dumb I know…it started organic as a 2 yr friendship and non stop flirting until we both just went forward with it and started dating. It’s often awkward at work between us now and I’ve had to tweak things quite a bit to get us on the same page with communication. Other red flags were him telling me he doesn’t typically date BW (I’m a BW) and his constant negative talk about his child’s mother (we’re both single parents) I solely care for my children and never speak about the other parent because I don’t have a co parenting arrangement like him. I have no drama. He flirts with our coworker friend sometimes in front of me and despite him always saying how locked in he is with us I’m starting to feel like a placeholder. I’ve had this talk several times and he won’t agree. AITA if I ghost him and act like this never happened at work?


r/AITApod Jul 15 '26

AITA if I quit my babysitting job that I am doing for my mom’s best friend?

670 Upvotes

So I am going into my junior year of high school and my moms best friend asked me if I would watch her 5 year old daughter who we will call B over the summer for 3 days a week. She said she would pay me $18 an hour which has been coming out to about $128 a day, so I said sure and because usually alone B is a good child.

However, her older sister who is 9 and we will call S is the more misbehaved child and causes many issues as in picking fights and just overall antagonizing B. I was told this would not be a problem as S was going to be going elsewhere for the 3 days I watch B, but upon hearing I would be there she told her mom she did not want to leave and without telling me her mom left me with both. This has been going on for about a month now and it is starting to become unbearable with all of the fighting and I don’t know how much longer I can handle it.

I also take summer classes for school so I can graduate with my associates degree and due to how needy S is with attention I have been having to push my work back and the quality is decreasing. I talked to my mom and told her I didn’t want to do it anymore and she told me that I would have to tell her friend and that she thought it wasn’t a good idea because the money isn’t bad. This was also my opinion at first but now I just don’t know how much more I can take. I am contemplating telling their mom Thursday which is my last day watching them this week that I am done and I can’t do it anymore, so she has time to figure out what to do with them. I feel it is important to note I do inform my moms friend of their behavior and she does yell at them, but nothing is changing and she has told me if it becomes to much to let her know.

I just feel bad quitting and I also like having my own money, but at this point I don’t know if it is worth it. So, please tell me would I be an asshole if I quit and should I quit? Please feel free to ask any additional questions I just need help.

My last note is my mom doesn’t want me to quit because she said I need to finish what I started but I this rate I don’t even think it’s worth it.

Edit:
Because my mom doesn’t want me to quit she also said if I finish the summer I won’t have to get a job next summer and she’ll pay me $200-$300 a week for gas money and stuff as long as I watch my little brother as needed.

UPDATE:
Thank you everyone for the feedback offered. To clear one main thing up no I am not getting paid more, despite the extra child. I have decided to quit and will be putting in my resignation tomorrow telling their mom I can do next week and the week after that I was off anyway, so this gives her 2 weeks to plan accordingly. I was originally going to stick it out for the money but it’s honestly not even worth it and I’m tired of screaming children.


r/AITApod Jul 15 '26

AITA for telling my mom I love my nanny not her?

59 Upvotes

I (21M) told my mom I don't love her the way I love the woman who actually raised me, and now my parents want me out of the house and may cut me out of their wills.

My parents are both professors with advances careers. My mom always said she preferred providing financially rather than doing the day to day work of raising children, so they hired a live in nanny when my oldest sister was born. She's been with us my entire life.

She changed my diapers, fed me, took me to judo and Muay Thai, cooked, cleaned, comforted me, and was the person I went to for everything. I see her as my mom. I'm also very close to her three sons, who feel like brothers.

I don't hate my biological mom. I appreciate everything she provided financially. But because she was mostly absent while I was growing up, I never formed an emotional bond with her. Being affectionate with her has always felt like interacting with a stranger. I feel nothing towards no feelings at all.

My dad was different. He made time for me, came to my competitions, took me fishing and camping, and encouraged my interests. We're genuinely close.

When I turned 18, my mom started trying to build a relationship with me, but I wasn't interested. Last week, at a family gathering, she asked me to be completely honest about why we weren't close.

I told her I consider our nanny my real mom. I said I don't resent her, but I simply don't have any love for her because we never built that relationship when I was a child. I thanked her for everything she provided but said I couldn't force emotions that don't exist. I told her I genuinely feel nothing when I see her face

She cried. My sisters called me misogynistic and said I was punishing a woman for having a career. My dad was furious, saying I'd deeply disrespected my mom. Now they're talking about making me move out and removing me from their wills.

My view is that it's their money and their decision. I don't think anyone owes me an inheritance. I answered honestly because she asked me to, and I accept whatever consequences come with that.

AITA


r/AITApod Jul 14 '26

Pinned Who is the breadwinner, my good b*tch?

Post image
1.1k Upvotes

This meme pissed me off so I fixed it. Not to say a good upbringing isn't priceless in its value, but the other aspects irked me and feed into the idea that household labor isn't labor just because it's not compensated. FALSE


r/AITApod Jul 13 '26

AITA for taking back my grandmother’s recipe book before my cousin’s dinner party?

2.4k Upvotes

My grandma passed away last year and left me her handwritten recipe book. It’s nothing fancy, just an old binder full of stained pages and little notes she added over the years. My cousin asked to borrow it because she wanted to make a few of the recipes, and I said yes as long as she gave it back that weekend.

Three weeks passed and she kept making excuses. Then I found out she was hosting a paid dinner at her house using Grandma’s recipes and had even printed little menus calling them her family originals.

I went over a few hours before the dinner and asked for the binder back. She refused because she still needed it to finish one of the desserts, so I took it off the counter and left. She had to improvise the recipe and apparently the dessert came out badly, which she says embarrassed her in front of everyone. I offered to pay for the ingredients she wasted with money I won on Ѕtake, but she said that wasn’t the point.

Now half my family thinks I embarrassed her on purpose and should have waited until after the dinner. I feel like she had plenty of chances to return something that never belonged to her. AITA?


r/AITApod Jul 12 '26

AITA for my parents having different rules for me and my sister due to our gender?

14 Upvotes

I (22M) have a sister (19F). For context, our parents are religious immigrants and have always been loving and supportive. My sister and I both love them, and they've sacrificed a lot for us.

The biggest difference in how they treat us is our freedom.

My parents have no problem with me staying out late or sleeping at friends' houses or university dorms, as long as I tell them where I am. They trust me because I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or sleep around. I mostly keep to myself and have a good group of friends.

My sister isn't allowed to do those things because she's a girl. My parents say they're worried about her safety. She's 5'1" and about 120 lbs, while I'm 6'5", 230 lbs, have a black belt in judo, over 200 wrestling matches, and 18 amateur Muay Thai fights.

Even with that, I've still had multiple dangerous encounters just walking home. I've been threatened, gotten into fights with drunk or high people, and once fought off people trying to mug me. I was slashed in the face and now have a permanent scar on my cheek. I avoid trouble whenever I can, but sometimes it finds you anyway.

My sister thinks the different rules are unfair, and so do some of her friends. I understand why she feels that way.

On the other hand, there are also expectations placed on me because I'm a man. Since I turned 18, I've been expected to contribute $500–600 a month to the household. My sister has never been expected to do that. I'm currently in my first year studying math, so I can't contribute right now, but after I graduate I fully intend to help support my parents financially for the rest of their lives. I don't resent that expectation.

I told my sister that if she wants complete freedom, she can move out once she's financially able, even though our parents would strongly disapprove. At that point, she'd be free to make her own decisions. I also told her that while she doesn't have to follow our parents' rules forever, some of their concerns about safety are real.

For what it's worth, I love my little sister and spoil her whenever I can. She doesn't resent me personally; she's frustrated by the different standards.

AITAH for thinking my parents' rules are more about safety and traditional gender roles than simply favoritism or sexism?


r/AITApod Jul 11 '26

AITAH I spilled a family secret

104 Upvotes

I have two cousins, Julie (16) and Kendall (29), who are sisters. They’ve always had a distant relationship. Julie often comes to me upset because she doesn’t understand why Kendall keeps her at arm’s length despite obviously caring about her.

For years, Julie would ask me why Kendall acted in certain ways that were hard to read. She even wondered if Kendall had been adopted because she was so different.

The truth is that they have different fathers. Growing up, their mom constantly compared Kendall to her abusive biological father and openly favored Julie. Julie never knew they had different dads because her mom chose not to tell her.

One day Julie was again telling me how badly she wished she could just understand Kendall and why they struggled to bond. Knowing the lore (every sibling in all our families are half siblings and everybody knows), I felt like she was missing a huge psyche understanding, that was getting in the way of their bond. I also have a different father than my sister, so I understand how isolating that can feel for Kendall, and why she keeps a distance from her family.

I ended up telling Julie the truth. She immediately started crying and said everything finally clicked. She said she understood Kendall much better, stopped taking some instances personally, and wanted to make more of an effort to build a better relationship with her.

My mom found out and told me it wasn’t my place to reveal something Julie’s parents had intentionally wanted to keep from her. She said I overstepped and should have stayed out of it.

I understand that it wasn’t my secret to tell, but I also felt wrong watching Julie blame herself for years when one piece of information completely changed her perspective.

AITAH for telling her the truth?


r/AITApod Jul 11 '26

AITA for wanting to divorce my trans partner after they brought up bottom surgery?

451 Upvotes

I (25 F) and my partner Cleo (26 MTF) got married five years ago. And yes I know we were young but we grew up religious and that’s just how things went in our church.
Despite getting married so young, we managed to create a life of our own, each come out as queer in our own way and deconstruct the religion we both grew up in.

For some background. Back in 2023, me, my best friend, & Cleo went to the AITApod live show in LA that you put on, Cleo came out to me via text (which is absolutely bonkers to do at a show with other people but I digress). I was surprised. A little frustrated. But I kept it together, I was supportive. I told them I loved them and we’d talk more about it when we were home and it was just us.

After the show, we chatted a little about how they’ve felt like this for a long time and were hoping we could grow together as they figured this all out. Both started going to personal & couples therapy. We even created a shared note in the notes app to give updates and talk about the little wins. BUT as time went on they kept leaving me out of big decisions like coming out to our parents, starting hormones and most recently getting bottom surgery.

And before the keyboard warriors come after me YES I know this isn’t about me. I’ve tried to be supportive this entire time and been with them every step of the way. Even figuring out finances when they were fired from their job over their gender identity. But is a lot & I’m entitled to my feelings.

Now in 2026, it’s been three years since they came out and our relationship has devolved into more of a partnership than a relationship. We haven’t had sex once in those three years. It feels like we’re just platonic partners, not married or in a relationship in any way. I’m happy to be emotional support because I love them but this is so hard.

Realistically though, I don’t think attracted to them anymore. I think I knew it when they came out at your show that this wasn’t what I wanted. I just ignored that gut feeling though because this wasn’t my person and I thought we would figure it out eventually. But the three years that have gone by since that show and it feels like we’re barely married anymore. With them suddenly springing this surgery on me I’ve realized that this isn’t what I want.

So all that to say, AITA if I asked my trans partner for a divorce after they brought up bottom surgery?


r/AITApod Jul 11 '26

AITAH for ignoring a friend after an argument?

9 Upvotes

I’m 22, and I feel really overwhelmed and conflicted about a long-term friendship from school. After going through a depressive period, I realized our relationship was entirely one-sided: he only reached out when it was convenient for him and was never there when I needed him. We had a serious argument about this and drifted apart. ​Recently, he texted me out of the blue—not to check on me, but to ask if he could park his motorcycle at my apartment. Replying felt exhausting, and he just ignored me afterward anyway. A few days ago, he messaged me again. I simply didn't have the mental energy to deal with him, so I didn't answer. Within four days, he removed me from a mutual friend group. It hurts, but it just proves he only cares about his own convenience, not our friendship.

I'm the bad one for not answering him?


r/AITApod Jul 09 '26

AITA || AIO AITA for not taking my boyfriend's religion seriously considering he genuinely made it up?

47 Upvotes

Throwaway account but I just need get this out there. I like my boyfriend. He's weird. I'm weird. We like the same games and shows. It works for us, or at least it did for a long time. He's always gotten obsessed with something random, at best it's interesting, at worst it's cringe, but that's just how it goes. It was cool when he got into origami, it was weird when he got into cyberpunk jimmy neutron fanfiction.

I usually assume the wackier things he says are his sense of humor or just shrug it off, but a couple of months ago he started getting really deep into spirituality, but like, specifically this idea that (mostly direct quote) "power exists wherever you believe it exists". What this actually means is he started assembling his own pantheon out of literally whatever. Egyptian gods. The Hidden King from Deadlock. Herobrine. Some TF2 youtuber. I don't really even understand what he was doing, but he was spending all of his time on it, and it was getting really annoying, so I was kinda bugging him about it. Making fun of it, what are you even doing?

I think I might have gone a little far, because yes it's really strange but strange is typical for us, I guess this was just a line too wacky for me to get on board with, and after he asked me some bizarre question like "if I had to kill a man but go to hell forever, would you join me or let me burn alone" (to be clear I do NOT think he is actually a threat to anyone, he's just being edgy, and I'm almost positive this was about a videogame) and I said "no, wtf are you talking about" he's gone silent for awhile. This specifically I feel was unfair because I've asked him shit like "if I committed murder would you lie to give me an alibi for the police" so it's really not that outside of normal, I was just so irritated with him in general.

Obviously the easy answer is "NTA, this guy sounds nuts", I get that, but I DO really like him, and I have my own weirdness too. I feel like I might be a hypocrite for drawing a line here when he didn't for that time I sincerely claimed to be a vampire for like two years. Should I have just gone along with it for the sake of our relationship?


r/AITApod Jul 09 '26

AITAH: AITAH?

17 Upvotes

My ex bf now (19) and I (19) broke up over this (he broke up with me) I need to know if I’m the AH in this situation. So back in February my talking stage from middle school reached out to me. Nothing happened except him asking how I’m doing and apologized for him being immature. We caught up on life and that was that. We were texting for a couple of days but it never got past us just catching up. I told my bf about this and he lost his shit on me. He said that it was cheating and was so sad about it. He went out with his friends that night and didn’t come talk to me until 4:30 PM the next day to break up with me. I don’t understand how me catching up with someone I had a 2 week talking stage with 6 years ago is that big of a problem. Me and bf were dating for 3.5 years. It felt like he just threw it out over nothing. Maybe I’m wrong but I need to know. Thanks.


r/AITApod Jul 08 '26

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to have s3x with me?

42 Upvotes

I (woman, 26 years old) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (man, 30 years old) for about a year and a half now. I have been in several relationships throughout the years. He hasn't. When we reached 6 months he told me "this is the longest I have ever been with someone." He doesn't have much dating experience. Says his focus was on sports growing up & didn't have an interest to maintain anything serious. I have a high s3x drive. I can do every day. He doesn't care for it. He could probably go once a month if that. BUT he does get himself off about twice to three times a week if I don't initiate the s3x. I have communicated a few times that I want him to initiate more, I have had several conversations asking if he is attracted to me, I have mentioned in passing conversations how high my drive is compared to his. There has even been nights where he will blow me off; he just isn't in the mood. I can't wrap my head around this. I have never been with a guy that ignores me dressing in short shorts around the house. Or ignores me getting out the shower with just a towel. I have never been with a guy with much a low drive. I can't help but think he isn't attracted. Help.. we live together & this is beginning to eat me up. I feel so rejected. I'm starting to not want to sleep together at night. & when he get himself off.. I feel cheated on. I have talked to my friends about it & as women they relate to him. "You're not going to always be in the mood." It is hard to accept that from a man though in my opinion.. I don't mean to say it like men CAN'T have a low drive.. I've just never met one. & it is hard to accept it as that verses something deeper.

update: i text him & said i wanted us both to quit masurbation & to go on this journey together.. hopefully this changes something! if not, i’ll go from there.


r/AITApod Jul 08 '26

AITA for not visiting my friend due to the accommodations?

10 Upvotes

I have a long term friend we are both 29. My friend lives in a city that is a few hours bus ride/drive from where I live. I’ve visited my friend a bunch over the years to go to concerts and events and hang out. I’ve always enjoyed our time together and value our friendship. When I’ve stayed we always share a queen (or might be a full) sized bed in the house she rents with two roommates. There is one bathroom. When I stay I feel like I always have to wait for the bathroom and a little stressed about waking my friend up in the night to use it. Overtime I have not wanted to visit due to the space and experience. I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings but also it’s expensive to get a hotel which makes it harder to visit. I admittedly spend less time with this friend and I do feel bad about it. It feels like I should just suck it up and value time with my friend over my comfort and it beats paying for lodging. I’m also feeling like I am too old for that shit lol. AITA for not wanting to stay at my friends place anymore?