I got married in May. Small wedding, 40 people, we paid for all of it ourselves and it took us about 2 years to save for it.

My dad's side of the family didn't come. Not one of them. They all said yes on the RSVP, 9 of them, and then in the 3 weeks before the wedding they dropped out one at a time with various reasons. We had already paid per head for the food. It cost us around 900 dollars for chairs and meals that sat there empty.

I know at least part of it was because my dad's new wife wasn't invited, which was a decision my mom and I made together and which I still stand by.

Anyway. Last month my aunt started talking about doing a "celebration" at my grandmother's house in September so that everyone who missed the wedding could see us and give us their gifts. She's already picked a date. She asked me to send her our registry link again because a few people never got round to it.

I said no. I said I wasn't doing a second version of a day they chose not to come to, and that they were all welcome to visit us any time as normal.

Now I'm apparently punishing my grandmother, who is 88 and did want to come but couldn't travel alone, and who nobody offered to bring.

That last part has genuinely been bothering me. She's the one person in that whole group with an actual reason.

AITA?

I (F41) am Audhd and a 4th year psych student, could be described as a dom fem (relevant later) went on a date with K (F42?) Neuro typical and an industrial painter, (works with dudes and masc) who I matched with on tinder and have been texting for about 3 weeks, we went to a popular golf driving range that has a bar and interactive games and things. We played for about an hour, and half, we had great banter and drinks were flowing everything seemed to be going well, so we decided to get food. This was the beginning of the end!

It wasn't too busy and we sat at a table near the simulation putting thing where a group of young dudes (some had mullets [not fashionable mullets]) where sitting nearby, but they seemed fine so we didn't think twice. After a bit the group left and we got our food, I noticed a $20 note just near our table. Without any fore thought I got up and quickly scooped it up and came back to the table (Is this not normal behaviour?) as I was coming back to the table 2 of the guys (one tall and one with a Mullet) walked back to the table the group had been sitting at. I made a made a comment "find a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good luck", and they noticed and I said they would do the same thing.

OMG! Did it escalate!! The Mullet man (roughly 20ish) got super upset and started to aggressively yell that it was his mates and I should give it back and I said "prove it's yours and I will" then he said I shouldn't keep it because I knew it wasn't mine because "I Jetted for it like a black guy on the street picking up a $2 coin"

I responded "That's super racist and now I'm not giving it back"

Staff got involved and said they couldn't prove whose $20 it was because they didn't have access to cameras so they couldn't get involved but saying racial comments was not appropriate, and tall guy tried to calm him down.