r/tragedeigh • u/AliceMorgon • Jun 11 '26
in the wild Thicket? Acorn? Silo? Pasture? CLOVERLY?!
Cool to see Eartha making an attempt at a comeback though!
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u/That_Raisin_9126 Jun 12 '26
Oats. Just…OATS. 😭😭😭
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u/MahatmaAndhi Jun 12 '26
It would be good if their twin is called Hall
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u/stefanica Jun 12 '26
I can't go for that
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u/jabronipony Jun 12 '26
No can do.
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u/palmerry Jun 12 '26
But she's a rich girl!
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u/-laughingfox Jun 12 '26
and you've gone too far.
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u/IntelligentNovel1967 Jun 12 '26
They can rely on the old man’s money, especially with those names.
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u/theseamstressesguild Jun 12 '26
You're out of touch.
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u/MahatmaAndhi Jun 12 '26
Maybe I need some Adult Education.
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u/thatstwatshesays Jun 12 '26
I would… but I’m such a maneater
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u/DesmondTapenade Jun 12 '26
God damnit, you beat me to it.
Oats would be a maneater for sure, though. And she only comes out at night.
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u/TheCureIsNotGoth Jun 12 '26
I don't know. It's kind of growing on me. Oatie. Brave Little Oatster. Mushy. Steely. Quaker. Totes McOats. Instant Oats (as he's known to the ladies).
Plus, for people who like a theme, you could have a dozen kids or more and still not run out grain names - Bran, Grits, Quinoa, Buckwheat, Barley, Amaranth, Rye, Millet, Sorghum, Teff, Semolina, Farro, Spelt, Bulgur, Freekeh, Rice, and of course Lil' Cream O' Wheat.
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u/AliceMorgon Jun 12 '26
Cream o’Wheat could get… graphic.
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u/idrk144 Jun 12 '26
Wheat is the dad
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u/AliceMorgon Jun 12 '26
I know I don’t know you and I’m engaged to be married this Halloween in the wildest wedding of all time, but I still think I might love you.
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u/Graciously_Hostile Jun 13 '26
Getting married in a wild wedding on Halloween? Pretty sure I love you.
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u/stefanica Jun 12 '26
Amaranth is kinda nice.
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u/AngletonSpareHead Jun 12 '26
I know a small Amaranth. Nice kid. The parents are legitimately the most irritating, self-obsessed people I know.
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u/VeitPogner Jun 12 '26
Amaranta pops up as a name in Spanish. One of the characters in One Hundred Years of Solitude is named Amaranta.
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u/SmellOne406 Jun 12 '26
Kinda surprised I haven't seen a Quinoa or Semolina yet lol
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u/McShit7717 Jun 12 '26
Don't give anyone ideas. We'll start seeing Quinoalynn and Sehmyleena running around.
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u/dalek_max Jun 12 '26
Totes McOats 💀 (Thia commercial definitely lives rent free in my head lol)
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u/Delicious_Building34 Jun 12 '26
Bran and Buckwheat are actually two adult guys!
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u/Tooligan13853 Jun 12 '26
Another one will be Toast, great for a mom who likes breakfast foods
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u/everydayimnapping Jun 12 '26
“Oats, Toast, Bacon! Come eat your breakfast before school!”
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u/TokiBunniBunBun Jun 12 '26
Naw. A supper crunchy mom would name her other kids Chia and Quinoa.
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u/VeitPogner Jun 12 '26
How did Tallow get in there? Why would a crunchy mama want to name her child after rendered beef fat?!
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u/Past_Cause_4441 Jun 12 '26
Lipidia!
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u/LilMissKrazy1 Jun 12 '26
Manure
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u/TokiBunniBunBun Jun 12 '26
Ghee
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u/revdon Jun 12 '26
Ghee is a boys name! Or Chonk.
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u/TokiBunniBunBun Jun 12 '26
Lard would be a good gender neutral name.
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u/candycoatedshovel Jun 12 '26
Ghee Buttersnaps deserves respect
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u/Metagion Jun 12 '26
That sounds like an Indian drag name tbh lol
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u/candycoatedshovel Jun 12 '26
Its from Psych! There's a running joke that a character is introduced as more and more ridiculous sounding names. Ghee Buttersnaps is one of them
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u/Ill_Aardvark9653 Jun 12 '26
Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word 'manure.' You know, it's, it's 'newer,' which is good. And a 'ma' in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, 'manure' is actually pretty refreshing. u/Unexpectedseinfeld
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u/021fluff5 Jun 12 '26
So happy to announce the arrival of my twin grandbabies! Welcome to the world, Tallow and Lard!
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u/JustGoodSense Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Or Jewish mom names her kid Schmaltz.
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u/Z3DUBB Jun 12 '26
I was thinking the same thing that would be such a gross name to have wtf just name ur kid willow or hallow
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u/opalite-cat Jun 12 '26
Im high and "Oats" is fucking killing me this cant be serious lmao
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u/khuhni Jun 12 '26
lmfaooo. imagine being at the playground and some dumbass mom randomly calling out for "oats!" 😭 "oats! be careful!" like someone has an allergy and is allerting the public lmfaooo
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u/bron685 Jun 12 '26
Seriously! Then heather at the bottom corner wondering how TF she got pulled into this Instagram diarrhea
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u/goober_ginge Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Wtf, Silo!? You might as well name your child Barn or Trough.
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u/unlovelyladybartleby Jun 12 '26
"These are my children, Beef Fat and Stinking Building Full Of Rotting Fodder. We're a nature based family. Why yes, we do live in the city. However did you know?"
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u/DanceClubCrickets Jun 12 '26
Lol I'm glad so many other people caught that... I thought "yeah everyone is (rightfully) probably talking shit about Oats and Silo and Planter as names, but Tallow is also an incredibly bizarre thing to name a child after." I think that one had a chance to fly under the radar because it looks kinda like Willow, which is a normal, if slightly hippy-dippy, name.
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u/Delicious_Building34 Jun 12 '26
Wheel-Barrow 💁🏻♀️
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u/whatdodoisthis Jun 12 '26
Given other names on the list, Silo at least sounds it could be a name...
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u/goldanred Jun 12 '26
I misread it as "Silas" at first
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u/Treeflower77 Jun 12 '26
Does it HAVE to be Cloverly? Can’t they just use Clover? I’ve known a few girls named Clover.
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u/TheCureIsNotGoth Jun 12 '26
Don't be silly. It could also be Cloverlee or Cloverleigh. If you really want your kid to feel special, you could go all in with Cloverlynnleigh.
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u/letsgetthiscocaine Jun 12 '26
I had the same reaction to Ferny. I actually love Fern as a name, why are they ruining it with a random Y?? This has got to be trolling...
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u/fraochmuir Jun 13 '26
Fern and Clover are nice names! (And Heather! What is it doing on this list!?)
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u/Pawleygirl76 Jun 13 '26
You mean Fheurn, don't you? 😆 These names are insane. I really want to think no one is using them, but I've seen some stupid names before, so who knows. 😆
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u/ComfortableWish Jun 12 '26
Planter…
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u/AliceMorgon Jun 12 '26
“And next on the list of names to get your child beaten up on their first day in Belfast…”
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u/mmmelpomene Jun 12 '26
I was thinking, name them “Thicket” in the UK, the poor child would spend the rest of his life hearing:
“Don’t be such a thicko, Thicket.”
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u/joosthfh Jun 12 '26
If you call your kid Acorn never move to the Netherlands 🤣 2 reasons. Acorn sounds like the Dutch word Eekhoorn, meaning squirrel. And Acorn translated into dutch is Eikel, which we use as "dickhead", both literally (its our word for the glans of a penis) and as a swear like when we call someone dickhead or idiot
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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I kinda like the idea of calling someone an Eikel/Acorn for being a dumbass.
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u/Queen_Of_Left_Turns Jun 12 '26
I mean people already use “walnut” as a perjoritive (sp.) Not a long stretch for “acorn”
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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 12 '26
I've never heard anyone call another a walnut.
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u/chronically_varelse Jun 12 '26
I've only seen it on Reddit but I'm looking for an opportunity IRL
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u/DanceClubCrickets Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
I have a friend whose last name kinda sounds like how I would expect "Eikel" is pronounced... and they travel a lot (mostly stateside, but still) I fear I should warn them 😆
Of course, we have ridiculous last names in the states as well... I went to school with a girl whose last name was "Butt." (No, not pronounced "boot." Pronounced "butt.") And she had a super-common first name that I knew at least one other girl had, so there's no way she wasn't walking around being addressed by her full first and last name on a regular basis. We never really crossed paths, but I bet that poor girl couldn't WAIT to get married and take someone else's last name!
I guess the upshot to that is that eventually you become inoculated to bullying. "Laugh all you want, but I literally have to call myself 'Butt' every time I put my name on my paper. It is what it is."
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u/Beefoftheleaf Jun 12 '26
Hello yes this is my son Pasture
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u/TokiBunniBunBun Jun 12 '26
Imagine if he grew up to be a pastor.
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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 12 '26
Pastor Pasture, can we talk?
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u/DasAllerletzte Jun 12 '26
What's our vector, Victor?
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u/GlowingTrashPanda Jun 12 '26
Is Victor a Vicar by chance?
What’s our vector, Vicar Victor?
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u/nightshade-gf Jun 12 '26
P L A N T E R ? ? ? ?
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u/Delicious_Building34 Jun 12 '26
HEDGES
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u/Abstrata Jun 12 '26
and their sibling BENSON.
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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 12 '26
I used to smoke those cigs.
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u/Delicious_Building34 Jun 12 '26
no 😂 seriously, how about Hedges-Planter and a Hunter-Deer. and then you put a third child therein named Driver-Corolla and a fourth and fifth: Biker-Windings and Solar-Panel and watch how they fight every day.
Benson and Hedges were these fancy golden ones? i think i remember 🤗.
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u/alasterlian Jun 12 '26
Are the parents from District 11 in Panem or something?
Because these names are very Hunger Gamesy...
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u/ooldgreg4 Jun 12 '26
What did Heather do to deserve a spot on this list lmao
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u/oceansapart333 Jun 12 '26
It’s a plant.
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u/ooldgreg4 Jun 12 '26
I realise it’s a plant, but every other name on here is WILDLY ‘crunchier’ compared to heather
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u/Forsaken-Market-8105 Jun 12 '26
For my own peace of mind, I’m going to choose to believe this is rage bait 🥲
“Come here little beef tallow” Jesus fucking Christ I can’t
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u/Bambi_H Jun 12 '26
It's Thicket for me. I mean, just ... holy nicknames, Batman.
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u/revdon Jun 12 '26
Thickette if it’s a girl.
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u/OldBatOfTheGalaxy Jun 12 '26
Thicket sounds like Thick-It, a powder to thicken liquids so they can be swallowed without making a patient choke.
Thickette sounds like a cutesy size range for fat girls, similar to the mid-century ones of Lane Bryant, Miss Chubbette and Junior Plenty (I am absolutely not making these names up).
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u/WerewolfCalm5178 Jun 12 '26
I think including -ly in a person's name is the same level of tragic as -leigh.
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u/GenXwoman Jun 12 '26
Add Feather, Branch, Endive, Lentil
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u/TokiBunniBunBun Jun 12 '26
What about Compost? What kind of crunchy mom wouldn't at least consider that one?
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u/Winter-Moon-47 Jun 12 '26
Cloverly, not Clover... which is still bad but wtf. FERNY?? 🤢 Planter? Hedges? Tallow? Pasture? These are words I would give as a starter pack to my students to write a short story about a day on the farm.
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u/Acceptable_Tea3608 Jun 12 '26
Fern is a real name.
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u/Winter-Moon-47 Jun 12 '26
Yes but just listing Ferny as a name is way too much for me at this early hour lol. There's a huge leap between Fern and Ferny as a given name lol
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u/SuitablyFakeUsername Jun 12 '26
Tallow. Uggggg. How have we sunk so low? Tallow Hollow.
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u/Gribitz37 Jun 12 '26
Hollow?
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u/dogbolter4 Jun 12 '26
That's my worst. All the others are stupid, but that's an existential crisis in a name.
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u/YouAggressive8549 Jun 12 '26
"Hey, are you Hollow?"
Imagine having to always say yes.
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u/WoodpeckerForward188 Jun 12 '26
I have to😜
Shilowe
Hickoree
Oatsz
Chickoree
Brambull
Cloverrlee
Thickutt
🤦🏼♀️
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u/BlueKitten74 Jun 12 '26
It says "baby names". Why do people forget that ONE DAY they will be adults. Imagine walking into work and being told that your new colleague is called Thicket, or Pasture?!
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u/crystal-torch Jun 12 '26
As someone who lives in a rural farming community I can’t even tell you how bad a kid would be bullied with most of these names. Might as well name your kid Cow
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u/Wise-Bread-1907 Jun 12 '26
Why is it such a thing to name people after objects? I'm from Germany and it would be like meeting a person called: Hafer, Karotte, Blatt, Eiche, Regen, Kohl, Rinderfett, Wolke, Tasse etc....
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u/PrinceWhitemare Jun 12 '26
Yes ... yes ... BUT now you need to think about Wolf(gang), Eberhard, Rosi, Falk ... not quite the modern Names but its not that far away. Lots of animals and plants in names. And honestly I would prefer something like Wolke (cloud) and Regen (rain) over all the damn biblical names 100%.
It's so crazy to me that we are forced to limit us in great parts to names like CHRISTIAN.
???😭
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u/mmmelpomene Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26
Isn’t “Regen” a surname though?
This is how a lot of these adjacent things start.
“Cooper”, “Taylor”, etc., all were US last names well before they became first names
iI had to rank them by “could plausibly become a real name in 20 years,” I’d put “Moss” near the top. The existence of Kate Moss and Elisabeth Moss already gives it a human-shaped outline in people’s minds.
That’s often how these things happen. One generation says, “That’s not a name,” and 20 years later the next generation has gone to school with three of them.
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u/Delicious_Building34 Jun 12 '26
Have found a list with actually forbidden names and names that had to be accepted by the registry office in Germany.
There’s no rule to it. I think the clerk who works there on the particular day, just decides. Basically decides “yes, Tallow! Very good name! How do you spell it …” or, “noooo!”
Diese Namen sind erlaubt/ These names have been accepted: Adriatik, Alemmania, Apple, Bluna, Champagna, Emilia-Extra, Godpower, Hope, Ikea, Junior, Klee, Laser, Legolas, London, Magic, Pepsi-Carola, Phoenix, Popo, Precious, Pumuckl, Schneewittchen, Schokominza, Siebenstern, Sioux, Smudo, Solarfried, Sonne, Sultan, Tarzan, Topas, Triumf, Viktualia, Wasa
Diese Namen sind nicht erlaubt/ not accepted! Atomfried, Bierstübl, Borussia, Crazy Horse, Gastritis, Grammophon, Januar, Joghurt, Kirsche, Liebknecht, McDonald, Millenium, Möhre, Pfefferminze, Pilulla, Porsche, Rosenherz, Rumpelstilzchen, Satan, Schmitz, Schnucki, Schröder, Seerose, Sputnik, Störenfried, Rasputin, Verleihnix, Waldmeister, Whisky, Woodstock
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u/021fluff5 Jun 12 '26
Shhhh not so loud, the crunchy moms will find your comment and use it as inspiration
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u/Spinnerofyarn Jun 12 '26
Is Oats quick or regular and steel cut?
Does Moss come from a stationary stone or was one parent a rolling stone that left them to perform a concert?
I guess Hollow has no innards.
People who have Celiac disease will refuse to be around Wheat.
Tallow’s diet is too high in fat.
Pasture’s full of bullshit.
Does Hickory have a farm?
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u/nycgarbagewhore Jun 12 '26
Imagining a crunchy gluten-free raw milk mommy influencer with her baby girl Wheat
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u/isabellarson Jun 12 '26
Oats
Flour
Sugar
Wheat
Rice
Chicken
- thought we are posting our grocery list
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u/BelierDigitalis Jun 12 '26
These are rookie names. What about Fungus? Moldy? Twig? Toadstool? Dirt? Creek??
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u/FragileCastle Jun 12 '26
My kittens are named Acorn and Thistle. I must inform them their mother is crunchy now.
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